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About Varied / Student Member i perfer to remain anonymousFemale/United States Group :iconthe-smexy-slender: The-Smexy-Slender
Don't take the rose...
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Well, Offenderman has been getting really popular hasn't he? certainly been a pretty awesome thing to have happened, but it has come with a number of downside's.

Primary of which being that it's making it increasingly hard to chat with all you newcomers to the fandom :dummy:

So to help deal with this, i'd like as many of you as possible to try to ask your question's and have whatever conversations you'd like to have with me here, where I promise to answer you at least once.

So ask away :iconblushingplz:


Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes, strong language and ideologically sensitive material)
(this ones kinda especially controversial, but hey, it's the sort of reference i need when dealing with making content for a fictional rape monster, so i don't want any sass outta you guys for it)

I can’t believe our culture allows grown men to openly thirst over high school girls

this dudebro in my english class said that ophelia deserved to die because “she led hamlet on” and my teacher threw her book against the wall
-your teacher’s aim sucks

same species, different life choices

there is nothing rarer and more beautiful than liking every song on an album

homophobes say “the gay lifestyle leads to depression and higher risks of suicide”
Really? Why is that? Who’s fault do you think that is?

storyline concept: when you wish upon a star, it’s actually a satellite, and your wish has been recorded and cataloged. An agent is now assigned to your case, like a sci-fi fairy godmother sort of thing

do u ever wonder how many people would be non binary if they were actually educated on sex/gender and were encouraged to explore themselves?

Depression is not rain. It is being unable to see the sun, even after the rain has passed.

you never realize how lonely you are until it’s the end of the day and you got a bunch of stuff to talk about and no one to tell it to.

the circle of stupidity is complete.

there are two types of people in the world. I hate both of them.

war is when your government tells you who the enemy is
revolution is when you figure it out for yourself.

there is no moving on, only running away.

ive officially run out of excuses:
“will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person”

   I hope you're ready to get MEMED ON by these SICK MEMES

No, I didn’t win, but at least I didn’t make any new friendship’s.

   Child:I have a problem
   Parent:Well you CAN'T have this problem because I had this problem in the past only WORSE
   Child:That doesn't make any sense. How is MY problem cancelled out by a problem YOU had?
   Parent:DON'T SASS ME

Are you a heartless bitch? Why not get paid for it!

   You are not just studying for your future. You are studying to save those patients. You are studying to save that family’s mother from a lengthy jail sentence. You are studying to teach us all. You are studying to improve global communication. You are studying to improve the environment. You are studying so we learn from the past. You are studying so technology progresses.  Who ever you are and whatever your goals are.   Your decision to study will change the world.  Literally.

   Gary’s Sex Tips #1002 : If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!

The more adventuring a knight does, the more banged up his armor gets. So if you get rescued by a knight in shining armor, you probably got rescued by a really shitty knight.

“if you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?”—  one of the most eye opening things i’ve read in a while

precision nerd strike

any state thats legalizing the sale of pot needs to release every single black person ever arrested for possession or trafficking and then expunge their criminal record
and this should be the preface to a necessary conversation on reparations paid out to the millions of black lives ruined for doing the same thing that’s now enriching whites in Colorado and Washington.

A zombie apocalypse story where a vaccine is developed but anti vac moms refuse to inoculate their children because the zombie vaccine causes gay autism

When feminists joke about misandry, the punch line is that no feminists actually want to kill men, but plenty of men want to kill feminists.

   baby's first words:mama
   mra dad:and people say men never face sexism...

if you take "no" as another word for "yes" and proceed with your unwanted shoulder tapping, you'll be given additional warnings about how harassment is illegal and has no place in the office. If you keep clicking, perhaps unable to control your raw arousal in the face of up to twenty fully-clothed pixels representing a woman, the screen fades to red, grim music plays, and it's game over.

Relationship Goals: Someone who will dance with me to the Guardians of the Galaxy sound track in the middle of the night

last names on the brink of extinction
sallow, fernsby, villin, dankworth, relish, macquoid, loughty, culpepper

nonbinary robots are cool and all but imagine a robot designed to be genderless and it sees a girl and is like “wtf girls are cute im a girl now” and the scientists are like u cant do this thing but she is already out the door

As a kid people used to tell me that I was “too smart for my own good” and that they pitied me for having an IQ of 124. I never understood until I grew up and realized how cynical I’ve become. I over think everything and now I’m scared of everything. I’m too clever for any kind of behavioral modification, I’ll just be one step ahead of the psychologist. I never understood how being smart was a curse until my thoughts began to scare me to the point of wanting to die just to end them. I am too smart for my own good

"he’s cute and hasn’t said anything offensive yet," an autobiography
& its sequel: “i should have known it was only a matter of time”

*man walks into a bar covered in kiss marks* “haha yeah well you should see the other guy”

I don’t vaccinate my child because it’s my right to decide what eliminated diseases come roaring back.

where was my 6am text?
- I didn’t want to wake the sleeping beauty…me

sometimes i think it’s really sad how no one has conversations face to face anymore, it’s all about phones and facebook. it’s so impersonal, i dont understand how can you base almost an entire friendship over typed words?....SIKE! catch me having 5 conversations at once while secretly jerking it lmao eat my electronic trail you dusty old fucks

oh no….,i have offended a heterosexual
-oh no, another faggot is being edgy by pretending not to care! woah! now you are giving homophobes an actual reason to hate you, you retard. thanks for making LGBTQ-people look like immature assholes.
oh no….,i have offended a heterosexual

I think that when you’re learning a new language it’s important to really immerse yourself in it! Don’t think of the words as translations of another language but as new words themselves! A language is the vocal and visual embodiment of an entire culture it’s not possible to truly translate that!

friend: how are things?
me: please don’t make me think about my life

sometimes I feel like people are reading my mind, so I think of something funny. That way if I hear anyone laugh, I know.

“Someday I’ll be writing about someone who loves me back.”

*cracks neck* my time has come

How to tell a rape joke: Take a metal bar, beat a rapist or rape apologist repeatedly and say “so a rapist walks into a bar” with each stroke.

while women are constantly fearing their lives while walking home from late night from school, men think they’re oppressed when women dont want to fuck them

Whittier, Alaska, is a town of about 200 people, almost all of whom live in a 14-story former Army barracks built in 1956. The building, called Begich Towers, holds a police station, a health clinic, a church, and a laundromat. Its hallways resemble those of a school . One can often find residents shuffling around in slippers and pajamas.

Do you ever have a problem where you just don’t know how to reply to an argument, not because you don’t know the answer, but you just don’t know where to begin? Like, the foundation of knowledge you’d need to impart to this person before you could even begin to drag them out of their sinkhole of ignorance would cost thousands of dollars if it were coming from a university?

it takes 460 hours of training to become a cop. it takes 1600 hours of training to cut hair.

“I wanna be in a relationship where we can act like best friends and little kids. I wanna be able to wake up in the morning and eat lucky charms while we watch spongebob. I wanna be able to go outside and throw a snowball at you while I call you shithead. I wanna be able to eat mac n’ cheese and drink apple juice while we cuddle on the couch. I wanna be able to say I hate you while laughing and you know that really means I love you. I wanna be in a relationship where we can tease each other, but at the end of the day you know I will always be there to hold you, wipe your tears, kiss you, love you and most importantly make you laugh like a little kid.”

I am genuinely curious what Men’s Rights Activists want. What rights are you fighting for that you don’t already have?

(response to an argument that women wouldn’t care about being catcalled if the man doing it was attractive)
you know what, fuck it, I’m going to reblog this twice because I have a story to tell.
Almost two years ago I was approached by a man at a bar. He was very handsome— tall, with great cheek bones and the kind of eyes that crinkle at the corners with every smile. That man asked to buy me and my friends a drink.
Not wanting to give him the wrong idea, we turned him down. None of us were single, and we’d all had experiences where men have expected things from us after providing seemingly generous acts of charity.
That man spent the rest of the night harassing us. He followed us around the bar, dumped a beer over my friend’s head when she confronted him, made lewd comments about my ass when I walked passed to go to the bathroom. We tried to tell the bar staff what was happening, but with the room being so crowded, by the time we managed to locate the bouncer, he’d disappeared into a throng of people.
That man approached us when we were on our way to our car. He was verbally aggressive, throwing slurs at us and stepping into our personal space. When I pushed him away, he punched me in the face hard enough to knock me down. When my friend tried to call the police, he slammed her head into a wall.
We were lucky that after that, he panicked an ran away. It could have been much, much worse.
Bottom line? Fuck you if you think all women want is attention from attractive men. Fuck you for eternity.
Attention from an attractive man didn’t give me an ego boost. It gave me a fucking black eye.

realistically the space under my bed is very small so if a monster did in fact live there it would have to also be very small.
it would be some kind of baby monster
i would have to look after it D:

Imagine your favorite robot discovering that the word “fucking” is used to intensify adjectives in the English language, so they start enhancing their sentences with it… very fucking liberally.

   What’s that on your hand????? *holds it* itS ME

yes, eat that.
no, do not text back the fuckboy.
hush, her sex life is none of our business
coconut oil
-i cant believe how much this all makes sense

“I swear to every heaven ever imagined,
if I hear one more dead-eyed hipster
tell me that art is dead, I will personally summon Shakespeare
from the grave so he can tell them every reason
why he wishes he were born in a time where
he could have a damn Gmail account.
The day after I taught my mother
how to send pictures over Iphone she texted
me a blurry image of our cocker spaniel ten times in a row.
Don’t you dare try to tell me that that is not beautiful.
But whatever, go ahead and choose to stay in
your backwards-hoping-all-inclusive club
while the rest of us fall in love over Skype.
Send angry letters to state representatives,
as we record the years first sunrise so
we can remember what beginning feels like when
we are inches away from the trigger.
Lock yourself away in your Antoinette castle
while eat cake and tweet to the whole universe that we did.
Hashtag you’re a pretentious ass hole.
Van Gogh would have taken 20 selflies a day.
Sylvia Plath would have texted her lovers
nothing but heart eyed emojis when she ran out of words.
Andy Warhol would have had the worlds weirdest Vine account,
and we all would have checked it every morning while we
Snap Chat our coffee orders to the people
we wish were pressed against our lips instead of lattes.
This life is spilling over with 85 year olds
rewatching JFK’s assassination and
7 year olds teaching themselves guitar over Youtube videos.
Never again do I have to be afraid of forgetting
what my fathers voice sounds like.
No longer must we sneak into our families phonebook
to look up an eating disorder hotline for our best friend.
No more must I wonder what people in Australia sound like
or how grasshoppers procreate.
I will gleefully continue to take pictures of tulips
in public parks on my cellphone
and you will continue to scoff and that is okay.
But I hope, I pray, that one day you will realize how blessed
you are to be alive in a moment where you can google search
how to say I love you in 164 different languages.”

       i wish i was a boy instead of a girl they dont have periods and they dont get as many unwelcome sexual comments as girls do
-boys have to deal with girls on their periods.
shove a cactus in your anus buddy

do you ever open a novel and read the first few lines and think ah yes, the narrator is a sarcastic little shit.

grandmas keepin it real.

yeah, I know what it sounds like to kill a man……From a distance……With no involvement on my end beyond fleeing.

he was a scumbag of both  note and notoriety

I’d slap you, but then that’d be animal abuse.

   dear men who feel like marriage is a trap and “taking away your freedom”, here’s a list of things you can do:
   - not get married
   - literally
   - just don’t fucking propose
   - and if she asks you, say no
   - don’t get her hopes up
   - seriously what the fuck is wrong with you???

"what do you see in your future?"
well hopefully a dog

teachers assuming that nobody in their class is queer, trans, abused, physically/mentally ill or has any other kind of issues at all and voicing their stupid opinions and teaching the entire class accordingly to that belief is pretty much the suckiest thing ever tbh and that needs to stop
"now none of us know what it’s like to feel that way”

“My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them.”

when  a teacher asks “so any questions?” and you sit there in silence because you don’t even know what you know.

   I just want to inform my fellow Americans that your TV viewing habits don’t impact a show’s ratings unless you’ve agreed to allow the Nielsen company to track what you watch. And you can’t call them; they select you. And they don’t select very many people. Thousands people nationwide have their TV viewing tracked by Nielsen. Like lots of statistics and polls, Nielsen basically uses this small number of people as representatives for the 300,000,000+ people in the country. So, you know…
If your favorite TV show has poor ratings, find one of the couple hundred households in your entire metropolitan area with a Nielsen Box on their TV.

I am genuinely curious what people think about during the day. Like, as a writer, a good 85% of my thoughts are about my novel. When I hear music, I think about my characters. When there is silence, I think about the plot. Before I go to bed, I think about my book. When I daydream, I think about my book.
What do non-writers think about all day?

   white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english*
Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like “Whomsoever enters this room, they shall… well, this word is like… literally it means ‘unbecome,’ but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and—wait, when was this carved?  was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century.  This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?”

but why do we have to get married and have children
why can’t we just get a group of friends and live happily ever after in an apartment and share the profits. i’d be much happier that way
-this is the most millennial thing ive ever read

“What doesn’t kill you gives you EXP.”

*pick’s up a crying baby*
Its okay buddy, when you grow up you’ll learn to do this on the inside.

today my anthro professor said something kindof really beautiful:
"you all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, that’s why you’re here, in college. I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person, and it’s okay if that person  is you"

me: sad because I’m not productive
me: not productive because I’m sad

feral mittens, deceptively deep sludge puddles

ice skating is like walking in cursive

how many followers do you have?
-more than i deserve

“Depression differs from sadness in that sadness is a specific response to a situation. Depression is a force of nature. It just is.”

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.

   when people say things like “you’re being cisphobic” or “you’re a fucking heterophobe,” all I hear is “I am experiencing for the first time what I have done to you and others like you, and I’ve decided that only people like you deserve to feel this.”

“She’s not just a girl. She’s the only evidence of God that I can find on this entire planet.”

   also to all younger girls chatting up older dudes remember tht: 1. they are manipulating u 2. yes u WILL regret it no matter what u think now 3. if a relationship needs to be a secret dont be in it 4. theres a reason they cant get girls their own age lmao
also to all those older dudes remember tht: go fuck urself

“There is no historically consistent justification for the exclusion of women from healing roles. Witches were attacked for being pragmatic, empirical, and immoral. But in the nineteenth century the rhetoric reversed: women became too unscientific, delicate, and sentimental. The stereotypes change to suit male convenience—we don’t.”

"This thinking it’s stupid and wrong and self perpetuating unless you actively work against it." There it is again, the realization of how such biases lurk in our subconscious, in our muscle memory, and getting rid of it is an active, conscious effort. You can’t "just write" because only actively thinking about this stuff stops these biases from happening, and they must be stopped.

Just so everyone is perfectly clear:
   serial killer = killed three or more people, all at separate events/times
   mass murderer = killed a large number of people (usually 4+) in one event
   spree killer = killed two or more people in a short time at multiple locations

   a lot of people assume because i dont talk a lot that its because im in a bad mood or grumpy or being cold with them but its just like a genuinely have nothing to say!! i am not an interesting person!! i dont know how to respond to people 90% of the time dont take it personally!!
“no u dont understand- i didnt do anything over winter break”

Banana’s, the only reasonable way to measure snow

   the 7 y/o boy who lives next door doesn’t want to go in the house to bed and i just heard his dad use the old “you live under my roof, you live by my rules” and the kid just shouted back “im not under your roof im under the sky and thats god’s roof and he wants me to play out for longer!”
i can’t stop laughing.
update: now he’s scootering down the street singing ‘we didn’t start the fire’ while his dad chases him


—  a passionate eye doctor as he throws glasses into a screaming crowd

theres a blog dedicated to hating cis people someone throw me off a cliff please.
-there are whole laws dedicated to hating trans people

You know what’s fun? Reclaiming your femininity after years of feeling and acting like you couldn’t be “girly” because “girly” things were “bad.” Man I’ll fuck you up with red lipstick on while wearing a sun dress and drinking a wine cooler, don’t think I won’t.

How about instead of me explaining why I don’t find rape jokes funny, you explain why you DO find them funny?
go ahead, I’ll wait

                   I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.
African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.
I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.
I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.
He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.
Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble.
Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours.
If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!”
If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.
But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all.

“I remember when I was younger and I wanted to be beautiful; now I’m older and I want to be intelligent. I want to burn hearts with brilliance and engulf souls with compassion. I want to be loved for my thoughts and nothing else.”

why is superwholock those three random shows? like can you just combine anything and it becomes offical? like a star trek and star wars fandom called starstar?
-star trek, star wars and battlestar galactaca.
So “starstarstar” then?
-lookout superwholock there is a new fandumb in town
I am a proud member of starstarstar

“Abortion seems to be the only medical procedure that people want to deny you based on how you got in that situation.
Drove drunk, got in an accident and need an organ transplant? No problem.
Messing around with a gun, accidentally shoot yourself in the leg and need surgery? Of course.
Smoke tobacco for most of your life and need treatment for lung cancer? Yep.
Climb a tree, fall out and break your leg? We’ll fix that right up.

are you dude enough?

Nibbling at the speed of nyoom.

Fuck anyone who says social media isn’t incredible. this generation gets so heavily criticized for spending their time online, the thing is if it wasn’t for social media all Australia would know about what’s occurring in Pakistan would be what they showed in the literal 30 second segment on the news. They tell you it’s mind numbing because they realise you’re now able to focus on the things they don’t want you to focus on.

people: you should talk more!
me: *tries to talk*
-gets ignored
-gets interrupted
-gets talked over
-no one responds to my conversation
-no one pays attention
-no one cares

For all my shit about being stupidly out of shape, I work two jobs and I walk everywhere cus I cant afford a car or cab fare, so my fitness level could actually be so much worse.
thanks poverty!

I like selfies because I am in complete control of how I am being presented that is powerful like boys on facebook laugh at the “stupid girls taking mirror selfies” and media mocks “generation selfie” but maybe that is because girls are controlling how they are presenting images of themselves to the world and that is scary to them

   Hang on a minute…Shouldn’t all mermaids be fat? Mermaids are probably mammals, because of their visible breast tissue and horizontal tail fins.
Aquatic mammals need to have developed a thick layer of subcutaneous fat in order to survive in water. Even in a hot climate, swimming in water the whole time would require fatty insulation. So… chubby mermaids. Yeah.

Someone please make a “horror” story about a man moving into a house with his family only to realize that there’s a monster living there. But as you progress through the movie you realize the man is abusive and the monster falls in love with the wife and ends up taking her and their kid/s with them to live and leave the man behind to mourn.

“To be beautiful is to be almost dead, isn’t it? The lassitude of the perfect woman, the languid ease. The obeisance. Spirit trained, anemic, pale as ivory and weak as a kitten. There’s a brisk trade for photographs of dead women, did you know that? In certain quarters, corpses are improved with cosmetics and posed in postures of abject surrender, and photographed.”

People often tell girls, “Guys won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.” Of course, if someone views you as a farm animal and marriage as you being purchased and your vagina as a dairy product they probably aren’t the best person to be taking advice from in the first place

I just got back from a kids camp I was working at over the summer. Last year, I  was the only employee under 30. This year, there were tons of incredibly attractive guys. I had my eyes set on the cutest, but I ended up falling head over heels for the guy who wore Marvel shirts all week and had a 2 hour conversation with me on who would win in a fight between Batman and Ironman. -justgirlythings

-i hope it wore a jacket
it’s back but thanks for your sense of humor very appreciated

I literally have no counter you’re completely right.

   me last year:on my way to hotness, a little mentally unstable
   me this year:hot as hell, completely off the rails

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad
-malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated
there are two types of people

   friend:im having a problem with this person
   me:kill them

Slurs are not oppressive because they are offensive, they are oppressive  because slurs by nature of being slurs draw upon certain power dynamics  to remind their target of his/her/their vulnerability in a certain relation to power and as an extension of that, to threaten violence and exploitation of that vulnerability.

how to spend a billion dollars when you only have one weekend:
Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.
Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.
Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.
Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.
Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.
You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.
Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)
Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.
Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.
And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.

   all i want to do is learn stuff and not have compulsory tests on it. like, i love learning new stuff, and reading new books.
but when i stress myself out to the point where i’m crying because of exams, that kinda takes the fun out of it, do you feel me?

i want to start an all-positive conspiracy theory movement. chemtrails promote healthy bones. the moon landing was faked to give people something to believe in. the reptilians only wear skin suits to avoid startling people.

“Anxiety is the most silently painful experience. It makes no sense and you sit there alone and suffer for a unknown reason. You can’t explain it. You can’t stop it. It is horrible.”

   I need asexual representation because before I knew that asexuality existed, I would get severe anxiety thinking I would one day have to consent to sex with a romantic partner in order to be loved by them.
   I need asexual representation because the first time I came out to a group of strangers, one said, “I just don’t understand how you don’t feel anything.”
I need asexual representation because no one should ever feel broken or alone because they don’t want something that is supposedly “necessary” and “normal.”
I need asexual representation.

Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object:
“Ashley has really developed into quite a striking assemblage of physical attributes that are found to be sexually attractive in our culture,” said Parker’s uncle Keith Hayes, expressing astonishment at how his niece had steadily matured from a precocious youth into a shapely, ravishing thing devoid of intellect and personality.
“It’s hard to believe that she used to be that little girl [capable of subjective experiences] that I remember. Now look at her—she’s such a lovely vessel for displaced sexual frustration and voyeuristic lust, just like her mother.”
“Seems like just yesterday she was this creative 7-year-old kid, pretending her Barbie was the first woman president,” Hayes added. “My, they grow into little more than consumer goods so quickly.
Marveling at the rite of passage that all females make from girlhood into entirely disempowered objecthood, Hayes expressed confidence that the 17-year-old would one day become a highly prized physical possession for “one lucky guy.”

Once again, spite concurs all.

Apparently by refusing to plead either innocent or guilty, they couldn’t claim his land and sell it at auction. So basically he ensured that his children got his land when he died by not giving a verdict as a final “fuck you” to the court while also making sure his children were taken care of.

   Not allowing girls to breastfeed in public because if a man can’t suck a titty in public neither can a baby
-to be fair, children do easily get jealous of each other :/

   PSA did you guys know there’s an equivalent to the word “phallic” ??    Yonic: resembling of vulva/labia/vagina  Yonic, from from sanskrit word Yoni.
 flowers are yonic, fruit is yonic, i’m so excited that this word exists i literally have only ever heard the word “phallic” until now. YONIC!!

It’s crazy that there’s no dress code in college but boys can still somehow do schoolwork wow

Straight People: (spend literally centuries erasing the histories of queer people who made themselves known and pressuring the rest with threat of violence to the point where they’re forced to keep it a secret their whole lives)
Straight People: whats with this RECENT FAD where everyones SUDDENLY GAY

-This explains gay-dar. It’s not a sense of just knowing it’s the fact that we can fucking smell each other
eau d’homosexual

   I love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I’m just like lmao u should see my life

   who on earth coined the stereotype that girls are obsessed with changing clothes i’ve been wearing the same t shirt and pajama pants for two days now and the same bra for like three. weeks

   just because a girl is bitchy doesn’t mean she’s on her period maybe she just doesn’t fucking like you or you’re being an annoying little shit

   a quick reminder:
not everyone knows what is and isn’t offensive
not everyone has the knowledge you do on slurs and their impact
so how about instead of bullying people who are wrong and writing them off as terrible people, you try educating them?
And if you say “it’s not my job to educate them” but you consider yourself an activist, you are not a very good activist.

it’s fascinating how blissfully unaware some people are of the history of art forms, and that, for instance, the novel was initially seen as a lesser, more barbaric medium that sloppily combined the graceful elegance of poetry and theater. and that’s not even getting into the issue that this message is being delivered via a comic strip, which, uh, I don’t know if you know this, Mr. Gregory, but you work in a medium that has been widely regarded as a waste of time.

drug effects reference’s for authors:
Methamphetamine Effects:
"Wired"—sleeplessness for days and weeks at a time, total loss of appetite, extreme weight loss, dialated pupils, excited, talkative, deluded sense of power, paranoia, depression, loss of control, nervousness, unusual sweating, shaking, anxiety, hallucinations, aggression, violence, dizziness, mood changes, blurred vision, mental confusion, agitation.
Ecstasy Effects:
Changes in mental and physical stimulation, altered perception of sound, light, touch. Stimulation of physical energy with related decrease in appetite and increase in body temperature. Increase in emotional response and sensual reactions. Teeth clenching, muscle cramping, nausea, chills and sweating. Body may overheat which can lead to fatalities.
Cocaine Effects:

Impaired thinking, confused, anxious, depressed, short tempered, panic attacks, suspiciousness, dilated pupils, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, decreased sexual drive, restlessness, irritability, very talkative, scratching, hallucinations, paranoia.
LSD (Acid) Effects:
Dilated pupils, skin discoloration, loss of coordination, false sense of power, euphoria, distortion of time and space, hallucinations, confusion, paranoia, nausea, vomiting, loss of control, anxiety, panic, helplessness, and self destructive behavior.
PCP Effects:
Sometimes violent or bizarre behavior (suicide has often occurred), paranoia, fearfulness, anxiety, aggressive or withdrawn, skin flushing, sweating, dizziness, total numbness, and impaired perceptions.
Inhalant Effects:
Short-lasting euphoria, giggling, silliness, dizziness. Then come the headaches and full-blown “faintings” or going unconscious. Longterm Use: Short-term memory loss, emotional instability, impairment of reasoning, slurred speech, clumsy staggering gait, eye flutter, tremors, hearing loss, loss of sense of smell, and escalating stages of brain atrophy. Sometimes these serious longterm effects are reversible with body detoxification and nutritional therapy; sometimes the brain damage is irreversible or only partially reversible.
Heroin Effects
Chemically enforced euphoria. “Nodding,” which is a dreamlike state, near sleep, drifting off for minutes or hours. For long-time abusers, heroin may act like a stimulant and they can do a normal daily routine; however, for others, it leaves them completely powerless to do anything.
Marijuana Effects
Compulsive eating, bloodshot red eyes that are squinty (they may have trouble keeping them open), dry mouth, excessive and uncontrollable laughter, forgetfulness, short term memory loss, extreme lethargy, delayed motor skills, occasional paranoia, hallucinations, laziness, lack of motivation, stupidity, sickly sweet smell on body, hair, and clothes, and strong mood changes and behaviors when the person is “high”

The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer.
The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.

“The rape joke is that you were eight.
The rape joke is that at the time,
you didn’t know people had sex to express love.
The rape joke is that the only other person
who’d seen you naked was your mom.
The rape joke is that he called you ‘beautiful’ first.
The rape joke is that he held your hands together
and told you to ‘try harder’ when you struggled.
The rape joke is that you believed him
when he told you were overreacting.
The rape joke is that your grandma
called him a nice boy and asked him to stay for dinner.
The rape joke is that he winked at you
when you apologized to your parents for not coming
downstairs the first time you were called.
The rape joke is that his friends
high-fived him for “getting some.”
The rape joke is that you still don’t feel like
you’ve regrown the pieces he stole.
The rape joke is that he was conceived when his
dad slapped himself into his snoring mother.
The rape joke is that her friends told her
she was lucky someone wanted her.
The rape joke is that each year in the United States,
32,000 other women’s bellies
ripen with life against their will.
The rape joke is that he never learned
to touch without scarring.
The rape joke is that your classmate thinks
‘have you seen what asses look like in yoga pants?’
is an argument.
The rape joke is your new boyfriend kissing
you and telling you he ‘raped’ his math test.
The rape joke is that ‘Why are girls so scared of rape? Y’all should feel pride that a guy risked his life in jail just to fuck you’
is a popular Tweet right now.
The rape joke is that you wake up to
the memory of him laughing,
“now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
The rape joke is that it’s been twelve years and
you still quiver when someone touches you.
The rape joke is that he hasn’t stopped laughing.
The rape joke is that you forgot how to.”

“I’ll lose, like, 20, 30 pounds, and I’m literally terrified something will happen. Like, a guy will smile at me, just probably being nice. But to me, it’s like a trigger, going back to, um… “Oh, my God, he finds me attractive.” You know. And then I find myself just eating chocolate and all that kind of stuff, so I can get that weight back. And I don’t want to be unhealthy. And I don’t want to be ugly. But ugly is safe. Ugly is so safe. I’m not afraid of being raped anymore because I’m ugly. I’m just safe. I am so safe.
I guess I have to say it over and over again because deep down inside I don’t even believe that.”

   mainstream tumblr feminism may have many glaring faults but it has bred an army of teenage girls who understand the common ways that misogyny is reinforced in society and who know that they’re better off loving their fellow woman than fighting with her and that’s actually pretty damn revolutionary

“As long as men are brainwashed to equate violent domination and abuse of women with privilege, they will have no understanding of the damage done to themselves or others, and no motivation to change”

"not all men!" but all women are bad drivers and all women are moody and all women are emotional and all women get to be painted with the same brush but don’t you dare generalize men that’s unfair!!!!!!!!
-And there it is

“I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country.”
—  Jo March, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, 1868

#yesallwomen: Because my hormones make me an ineffective leader and a man’s hormones absolve him of rape.

In a way, when guys say “But not all men!” They really are helping a feminist case.
If, when you first meet a girl, you have to distinguish yourself from other members of your gender by saying that you, in particular, are not a rapist or murderer, you’re admitting that male violence is a huge issue. Maybe next time you try and say that, think, “Wow, if I have to tell her I’m not a murderer, maybe there are too many instances of male to female assault”

“Should a father, should a mother delight in a child’s precocious beauty and her playfulness and innocence? Absolutely yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But if beauty is the only thing you’re drawing attention to,you’re really doing gender violence. Do you tell your beautiful two-year-old son that he’s beautiful? I hope so.I hope, in many ways, as often. But why do you then talk about, “oh, you are so strong.” Say that to your daughter? “You are so bright.” “You know, you are so funny.”
In other words, our task is not to create, but one window of honoring the glory of being made in the image of God. The facets of a child’s ongoing growth of goodness and beauty now needs to be heard as not merely physical, but a kind of beauty that has to do with, “I love the way you fight with me. You are really articulate
seven-year-old. In fact, I got a point a moment or two ago when I wasn’t quite sure what to do with you. You are really bright. Now, you’re also gonna go to your room. So you’re not gonna get more ice cream. But I love the way you argued for that.””

i hate that “LOL SO IF WOMEN ARE EQUAL CAN I PUNCH YOU” shit bc 1 in 3 women are abused. y’all are already punching us, the issue is that we’d like you to stop

I don’t know how violence against women became a womens issue. Not only do women get raped and battered and undermined and destroyed, but then we have to fix it! then we have to make it better, then we have to figure out the solution for a problem we didn’t create. So tonight we’re going to give the issue back to men, because this is actually your issue. We women are not raping ourselves as it turns out.

in movies, whenever a hot guy fake-flirts with an “ugly” girl and she gets all flustered, it’s intended to be a funny joke and make u think the girl is pathetic for believing such an attractive man could be interested in her. ur supposed to hate the girl.
but whenever a hot girl fake-flirts with an ugly guy and he gets all flustered, it’s intended to make u feel bad for the guy and think the girl is a Bitch. ur supposed to hate the girl.
ur always supposed to hate the girl.

“Will Cameron: Did she yell for help? Did she scream? Tell him to stop?
Agent Doug Tate: Just because she didn’t scream didn’t mean this wasn’t rape. Now that guy is twenty years older than she is, he groomed her for weeks to get her into that motel room. And she’s armed with what? Half of an eighth grade education and the expectation that the world is a decent place.”

Why is the blame for romanticizing mental illness lodged at teenage girls documenting/trying to cope with their struggles with mental illness and not grown men who make movies about how medication is evil and schizophrenia is magic powers.

I was 15 and you were 13. Exactly one year and four months apart. But they will say two years because apparently, in months, we are supposed to round up. I had never met you before, even though we went to the same school. After the usual Friday night routine of underage binge drinking and smoking to look cool, we ended up staying over at a mutual friend’s house. His not-so-traditional parents made it an ideal hangout.
We were talking casually when I first noticed you flirting. I wasn’t exactly a looker back then, and definitely not the kind of guy who girls at our school usually flirted with, so I guess I was flattered. I made some kind of attempt to mirror your advances and we kissed.
“Bed” turned out to be you, your friend and me sleeping on three mattresses in a dining room. We held hands when the lights were out and you guided my hand to your breasts.
We gave up our virginity in eight minutes of clumsiness and confusion. You took my belt off and I battled with your bra. We were as silent as we could have been so as not to wake your friend who lay just two metres away, asleep.
I think we were both relieved when it finished. We didn’t use a condom, I guess because I never expected to have sex any time soon and if you did have one with you it wasn’t offered.
It was entirely mute apart from the simple, but essential, “Do you want to … ?” and “Yes.”
We parted with closed-mouth kisses and I returned to my mattress to sleep.
I woke up being shaken by my friend’s father and two policemen. They were telling me to get dressed and come with them. I didn’t have a clue what was going on.
One of the officers instructed the other to “bag” my T-shirt so my friend’s dad gave me his to put on; all the while I was being escorted through the house rubbing my eyes and asking what was happening.
Through the living room door, I saw more police comforting you. My friend was shouting something in my defence but it wasn’t until I was being arrested at the side of the police car for rape that I realised what was happening.
The arresting officer held my arm in detention until I finished heaving my stomach on to the street before pushing me into the back of the police car and driving me to the station.
I was processed and taken to a single cell where the door was closed and my head exploded. I didn’t make a single sound and declined the blanket and the solicitor, as if they might let me out for good behaviour. They took my shoelaces so I didn’t hang myself.
I woke up in tears to the realisation that I was still in a nightmare that couldn’t possibly be true. My foster dad had been called and he came and cried with me, demanded a solicitor and sat through a police interview so in-depth and humiliating that I still refuse to let myself remember it.
I had samples of my nails, saliva and pubic hair taken.
For three months, my bail was renewed monthly while the case was investigated. All this time, I wasn’t allowed to arrive at school until every other pupil was in class, for their safety. I spent every day in isolation, having work from each lesson sent to me via reception staff. If I went to the toilet, I’d be accompanied inside and prevented from talking to any other pupil in the school who I’d spent the last three years trying to make friends with.
My foster placement nearly collapsed because social workers were not sure if I could be trusted to live in the same house as my foster sister. I became completely introverted.
The charges were dropped in January, after the worst Christmas of my life. I was told that charges against you and me for underage sex had been considered but weren’t pursued. They did not give me any options to take action against you.
I never saw you after that night. In the six years since, I have done all I can to block out the horror of not just that night but of every month spent on bail. While the police seemed to hold true to innocent until proven guilty, my friends and their families certainly didn’t. Even when I returned to a you-free school, I never quite recovered. My relationships since have been damaged and I still struggle to trust my partners. I tell practically no one now about what happened, for fear of being perceived as a rapist and because I guess they’d say stories like mine make it harder for real victims of rape to be believed.
I moved away from home and keep minimal ties with my old life, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget what you did. I don’t know why you told your friend that I had raped you – maybe because you didn’t want to admit you’d had sex so casually or maybe because you were scared.
But I will never be able to forgive you for what you did to me.
You damaged my perception of women entirely and the only relationship I have since been able to sustain is with a man I can trust.
Rape is an abhorrent crime and every victim should be able to report it. But false accusations of rape are abhorrent too, and the victims too easily forgotten. Not only do false allegations damage the life of the victim but they also contribute to the trivialisation of the seriousness of genuine sexual violence.

Okay, rant is over. Im calmer now. well, im not really calm, I just got so upset I tired myself out.

may the bridges I burn light the way.

Well that sure was fun. I think we all learned something important! Let’s never do it again.

   follow for more of whatever the hell this is


i perfer to remain anonymous
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
i'm an art college student working to try and get into the entertainment industry somehow, either in movies, tv, animation, comics, or videogames. mostly i want to be one of those people who you could see in the credits of some grand piece of entertainment media if you happened to pause at the right moment. to just give a worthwhile contribution so some big popular project that i could be proud of.

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Add a Comment:
Quimpoop Featured By Owner 1 day ago
larafanVGC Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What's the name of your ask blog for Offenderman? :)
arcanineryu Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student General Artist
larafanVGC Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks! :)
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
You know what I noticed? Your Offenderman and comics always gave me something to laugh about when I was falling into depression. I mean it was part of what helped relieved it and I would like to say thank you Arc, thank you for making Smexy and those comics and for understanding, it has helped alot
arcanineryu Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student General Artist
Im just happy to have been helpful for you.
Ive dealt with more than enough suicidally depressed people in my life to understand how important it is that opportunity's to help others cope do not get wasted.

And hey, hopefully you'll be better at helping out people as well right? Make my job a little easier lol XD
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
Yeah, I have also dealt with people like me when I was falling. Maybe I'll become a therapist or something...:-)
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Hey Arc how's it going? Hope your not getting to stressed
InfinityFace2 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Student General Artist
It's always awesome to skim through all of your works- 
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Student General Artist
thanks, glad you're having fun with it :3
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