hi im here to ruin everything
do u ever have that default username that you always use and if a site already has it taken youre like . speechless
when you want to draw but youre too stressed to do well on commissions and too guilt laden about the commissions thing to draw personal art so you just become an ouroboros of procrastination and anxiety
“Ignore every instinct to flee. Remember: you are a monster too”
I hate watching an episode a week, im more of a season a day kind of person.
HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS
1. WHISPER “BEEP BOOP” TO YOURSELF.
2. REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD.
do u ever look at ur friends like “ah yes i’m so glad these losers are mine”
I need a night on the town with my dangerous queer clique
I also need a dangerous queer clique
wanna hear a sad fact? the average prison meal is healthier than the average school lunch.
if you don’t respect platonic love as equal to romantic love, a million turtles will break into your house tonight and steal all your electronics
how can i be ready for future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning?
Today I saw a dude try to physically remove a teenage girl from the disabled seating on the train, complaining about his weak ankles and hypertension and how pathetic and discourteous youth were. She literally threw her prosthetic leg at him.
whining is weakness leaving the body!
how many followers do you need before people starting buying you things?
“I'm not jewish. But don't worry, all religions equally think you're an asshole. You've united us."
“Boy, I'm gonna smack you so hard, your kids'll come out behaving,”
The Scout was not known for his discipline. In fact, 'disciplined' would never be a word used to describe him ever.
The difficulty setting on the world's way higher than you've been told, kids.
don’t forget the effort it takes for most female actors to get ready for the red carpet often entails hundreds of dollars, four or more hours, and a team of beauty professionals
Don’t go broke trying to look rich.
Act your wage.
NOTHING CHANGES when people aren't MAD
. We're the new hippies, you guys. And like it or not, hippies changed the world by being loud and stupid-looking and unafraid of looking back on their passionate big talk with regret.
The scariest thing isn't looking back and getting embarrassed that you supported some cause, the scariest thing is looking back and realizing you never got angry at all.#competitive
when i become famous yall better not snitch on me and tell TMZ some of the weird shit i posted
Looks like he might have more of a heart than the one sitting in his fridge
to all of my underage followers with shitty parents:
i am your parent now. i love you, you are valid, i’m making lasagna for dinner and your bedtimes are never
“College kids are the absolute last people you want to mug. They’re in peak physical condition, they have no money, and most of them have such a twisted view on the value of life they would rather you shoot them than give you the $4.37 in change at the bottom of their book bag.”
"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"
Take your lumps like a mare princess twinkletoes.
May your lipstick be the reddest and your eyeliner be symmetrical.
the difference between hearing someone say “all genders” rather than “both genders” is actually staggering
you know what i want?? a representation of the seven deadly sins where for once lust isnt the only woman and is instead a horny friendzone dudebro
Ugh. Kids these days. With their taste in things that’s different than my taste in things was when I was their age due to the ever-evolving media landscape and constantly growing range of options and things that have nothing to do with their intelligence or anything going down hill. Get off my lawn.
My aesthetic is “would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens”
all i want in life is to lose weight and gain money
yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money
I would like to take the time to apologise to Taylor Swift and Kristen Stewart, for believing the shit the media told me, about you.
constantly wanting to rebel but not wanting to get into trouble
i’m sorry for whatever i said that caused you to say what you just said
it's possible that the only thing between a safe ride home and spinning wildly through an intersection like a roman candle glued to a hockey puck is how much time and money your cab driver was willing to spend making sure the tires are bolted on.
when people say "I can’t accept you for being transgender, the bible says it’s a sin."
im like, “Oh yeah?”
Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
“Does it say that? Does it really?”
whenever i feel like i’m being socially awkward in real life i should just remind myself that i’m every bit as awkward online and i somehow have friends
“No” does not mean “convince me”.
tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands
"If anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, please speak now." the baker stands up. he has never met the bride or groom but he must stop this wedding before anyone finds out that the cake is just some couch cushions covered in icing
People who use “you’re adopted” as an insult are idiots. "Your parents wanted you so badly that they spent thousands of dollars to get you, went through tons of evaluations to make sure they were qualified, waited months or maybe even years for you, and so you’re now in a loving home where you are most definitely wanted and cared for."
Quoth the genius child from a post long back,
"My parents picked me.”
party at my house, bring food then leave.
(sarcasm)So insulting. I can feel the hate.
Expectations:Using the person next to you as a pillow.
Reality:Using the pillow next to you as a person.
It’s strange how a website full of teenagers understand how to treat people equally better than a room full of politicians. The adults tell us to grow up yet they behave as if they were still living in the 1960s.
I don’t remember my homework but I remember Spongebob episodes because let’s face it, Spongebob is more important than homework.
getting annoyed after illegally downloading music when it turns out to be bad
#this isn’t what I didn’t pay for
If you ever feel like you’ve screwed up, just remember that in 1348 the Scots thought it would be a good idea to invade England because the English were weakened by the Plague. They subsequently caught the plague themselves, went back to Scotland, and killed half their own population.
“It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”
"Food is always special."
-I like the way you think
we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”
do you ever finish reading a fanfic and are like ‘i want to read a fanfic of that fanfic’
My mom says that everyone has a beautiful side. So I guess I’m a circle.
makeup is SO so fun and im so excited abt makeup like. most makeup is just minerals?? colored minerals?? dirt. pretty dirt. put the dirt on your face
You are one in a million. That means there are 320 of you in the united states alone. Find yourself. Start an army. Overthrow the government of a small Midwestern town, run shit.
i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck
-“her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted
Writers are the exorcists of their own demons.
my shyness has ruined so many good opportunitys.
“Getting no message is also a message.”
“Almost everyone is overconfident—except the people who are depressed, and they tend to be realists.”
The bookstore was just robbed of 20,000 dollars. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 3 textbooks.
Headcanons on why mages don’t wear armor:
-magic and mana corrodes metal (that’s why so many rpgs have heavy plated characters weak to spells)
-armor has no pockets for potions or books or herbs or snacks
-mages read and do alchemy in tiny spaces so armor gets in the way a lot and libraries hate clanking noises
-most mages are skinny weak ass nerds do u think they can wear armor
The only kind of man who says, “Not all men are assholes,” is an asshole. If you really were a “nice guy,” you’d be saying, “Wow, lots of men are fucking assholes to women. Let’s do something to change that.”
boys:*accidentally touches hands* NO HOMO BRO
girls:*lifts up shirt* look how cute my bra is
normal friends:hey i got you a birthday card, happy birthday!
tumblr friends:hey i wrote you an erotic sex scene between your two faves, happy birthday!
i had a dream that i was walking around in a shirt with stalks of corn all over it and somebody was like “wtf are u wearing?” and i said “it’s a crop top” i laughed so hard that i woke up
"cow milk is unnatural drink plant milk" ok… so ur saying plant milk is a natural thing
i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry
“Even at the age of 24, I’ll gladly fall in love with popular music that 12-year-olds would like, or purely-entertaining movies that 16-year-olds would like. Some will claim that it’s inappropriate for my age, but I think it’s simply that the 12-year-old me and the 16-year-old me still live on, loving those things. As long as there’s a 24-year-old me aware of that, then I don’t think there’s any problem.”
protip: if u can’t imagine urself dropping the mic after the final sentence of ur essay, ur conclusion needs to be stronger
note to self: “love yourself” does not mean spend $40 on chinese food when you’re broke
….who am i kidding yes it does. never listen to me
are any of my followers rich ?
edit: are any of my followers rich and looking for someone to spoil?
“Don’t let anyone else ruin your life. Only YOU can ruin your life. Go ruin your life. Set your house on fire.
"Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands."
"Your daily positive affirmation: today I am thankful for being alive and blessed with rows upon rows of teeth that shear right through muscle and bone."
"Conceal your dark circles. Conceal your bright chevrons and your dusky stripes. The humans must not suspect what you are."
"New research shows that ideal femininity encompasses a lamia’s beauty, a cyclops’ strength, a hydra’s deadliness, a Fury’s heartlessness, a harpy’s swiftness, and a sphinx’s love of feasting on less intelligent creatures. Be a chimera that cannot be contained!"
"Aim to be described as "inexplicably eerie," "unsettlingly off," and "I’m not sure what she looks like, I could never keep my eyes on her face long enough to see."
naturally, soildier did what any self-respecting man would have done….. he caved in
Al hail Stan.
eight stupid phychos barreled into his life with all the grace of a freight train
i don’t have a problem with school like im perfectly content with doing work and learning for 6 hours a day but my disdain arises when homework is added like its honestly so stressful and I would be much happier if I could just goto school for six hours daily and then come home and actually have time to live my life without deadlines and assignments looming over me
some carry a torch just to burn things down
Hey man, I think you’re too socially adjusted for 4chan
"are there any straight people in your story?”
"no they’re not relevant to the plot"
give a straight person one line of dialogue and call it representation
But don’t mention they’re straight, drop so little information that we’re hinted it might be, then say they’re straight in later interviews after the story is complete.
“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’
Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’”
the ocean isn’t shark infested, it’s the ocean, that’s where the sharks live. We are the ones who aren’t supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean.
i can’t wait until i’m older and have a serious relationship like think of how much fun that would be every single night would be like a sleepover with your best friend and you could make pancakes at 3 in the morning and uncontrollably snuggle when you’re bored
i don’t want to live in a country where people believe that white pedophiles and school shooters don’t deserve to die because “it’s possible that they could change” after ruining people’s lives but a black boy’s murder is justifiable because he might have robbed a convenience store.
the odds of you existing are the same as 2 million people rolling trillion sided dice and all landing on the same number.
ideal relationship: we maintain idle conversation while playing separate video games
kinda scared for 2015 because 2+0+1+5 is 8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have had if he had 6 more nipples
me:"can you help me on this homework problem"
parents:"idk that shit its hard lmao"
I'm not broke I'm pre rich
Why is it that when couples make a new human life, it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘miraculous,’ but when I make a new human life alone in my basement, it’s ‘a crime against nature’ and ‘morally abhorrent’?
the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five
do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man
I’m totally punk rock but like a sleepy and cuddly kind of punk rock
instead of paying women the same as men, pay men the same as women and see how angry they get
I want a regular family sitcom with cheap jokes and laughing tracks, which gradually get more and more disturbing until it turns to a psychological horror film with the laughing tracks still going
“I hate the idea of lonely. And I hate the reality of attachment.”
i feel like everyone secretly wants fingerless leather gloves
if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too.
imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off#out
of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular….
by day i am just a regular loser, by night i am the same loser only it’s nighttime
*talks about u behind ur back but in a supportive way about how cool u are and how much i love u*
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you! Hand over your cash motherfucker
(I got this from a children’s joke website but just added the word motherfucker at the end)
“i want to rp with you”
— i say as i make no move to talk to you
*casually fucks up every good thing that happens to me*
I just realized that in POA not only does Snape teach about werewolves because he hopes someone notices Lupin’s lyncanthropy, but he also takes away Remus’ opportunity to teach about them as they should be, not as monsters, but as afflicted people.
Am I the only one whose internet addiction started with my parents not letting me fucking go anywhere
the best friendship’s tend to be the ones in which you can be openly weird with.
Take any movie premise about a white man and make it about a grandma and it becomes twice as interesting
Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.
I should kick your ass.
im the kinda person who will trip over a dog and apologize to it.
Everyone has good days and bad days, but mine are more like good hours and bad years.
You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.
(keep this mindset, and trust me, you’ll feel so much better about yourself)
don’t forget, evil is relatively rare, but ignorance is epidemic.
I love The Sims because it’s basically just a bunch of pansexual people speaking gibberish and setting their houses on fire.
I think my favorite thing about this generation is how seriously everyone takes their Hogwarts house.
tony stark designing tiny arc reactors to power clint’s hearing aids because everyone’s fucking sick of clint not bringing back up batteries when his hearing aids die during a mission#like
here now youre hearing aids wont die what do YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT YOUR HEARNG AIDS
If I’ve ever called you
wow what a dweeb
gay as heckie
its a clear sign that there’s a place deep in my heart for u
four eyes, zero soul
Muggleborns accidently calling Dumbledore “Gandalf”
Or alternatively Muggleborns purposely calling Dumbledore “Gandalf” and then Dumbledore looks them dead in the eyes and says “call me that one more time and you shall not pass”.
old golden retrievers are one of the purest forces of good on this planet
Add a touch of life to your outfit by tying your hair back with a very tiny snake.
“If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.”
“It seems that when you want to make a woman into a hero, you hurt her first. When you want to make a man into a hero, you hurt… also a woman first.”
please stop adding ‘there are two kinds of people’ and ‘that escalated quickly’ to text posts
-there are two kinds of rapid escalation
-well that peopled twicely
sunshine all the time creates a desert.
This is one of those milestones humanity is gonna look back at and be like “we shoulda never given the robots swords”
I don’t get help because I am the helper.
for somone with such an intense need to be liked you’d think I would have figured out how to be less of an asshole.
english is not their first language:Hello! I'm sorry if my English isn't very good.
english is their first language:hte fuckign
I don’t understand why books have shifted from having summaries on the back of the covers to having one-line reviews.
Seriously though. I want to know what the book is about. Not that someone from the Evening Standard thinks it’s a masterpiece.
stop idolizing pasty white lizard men 2k14
-your url is a derivative of david bowie the ultimate pasty white lizard man
i was going to try and respond to this but you know what????? he is. i fucked up. i fucked up.
In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.
good people bring you happiness, bad people bring you experience.
i’m very bad at friendships but i want to friendship with everyone
THINK ABOUT HOW MANY PUPPIES WILL GET TO EXPERIENCE SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WINTER. PUPPIES. CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THEIR FEET ARE COLD. CONFUSED ABOUT THIS FLUFFY STUFF. GOTTA BITE IT. GOTTA ROLL IN IT.
50s sci-fi:ROCKETS AND ROBOTS YAAAY
• 60s sci-fi:the other planets are full of hot babes and killer monsters
• 70s sci-fi:what if WE'RE THE REAL ALIENS MAN
• 80s sci-fi:everything is cool and chrome allllllright
• 90s sci-fi:the future is DARK and EDGY and EVERYONE'S WEARING A TRENCHCOAT
• 00s sci-fi:robots are people too
• sci-fi now:yeah it pretty much looks like an apple store and the apocalypse probably happened
My math binders are always red every year I feel like math is just a red subject
-Math is a blue subject and I’m prepared to fight you over this
bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes
relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead
just hear me out
they fight crime as one gender and go day-by-day as the other thEYD NEVER GET CAUGHT NOBODY WOULD SUSPECT THEM ITS GENIUS
Why are shorts called shorts but pants arent called longs
-she wears short shorts I wear long longs
-she’s cheer cheerer and i’m on the sit sits
my little brother whos 7 was saying girls can’t be scientists and my little sister whos 5 looked at him offended and said “princess bubblegum is a girl and shes a scientist, jonny!” and he said “oh yeah…ok nvm” and they continued eating breakfast like nothing. THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT GUYS!!!!!!!
grandma:you're 17? you're getting old aren't ya!
me:grandma you're like 80
im really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time
"I sort of implied he’s working for Satan or whatever"
“Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing.”
our society is so structured on binaries that people think cats are the opposite of dogs
whenever i need a laugh i remember that if he hadn’t died james potter would have been dudley’s uncle. picture james interacting with dudley. just do it, picture the scene
can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m covered in tattoos, working my dream job, traveling, and married to the girl I love?
• It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.
-same goes for students at schools
stressed, depressed, not even well dressed
staring intently into each other’s souls and making fart jokes telepathically
student:can i borrow a pencil
• teacher:i don't know, CAN you?
• student:yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
you know what’s really odd?
-numbers not divisible by 2
…That joke was so bad i can’t even
• dog person:we have a purebred border collie with a bernese twist
• cat person:this is rita we love her she's orange
Wearing eyeliner doesn’t make you “girly” or “gay” a lot of girls actually find it attractive. If you wanna put concealer on that pimple go ahead. It doesn’t make you less of a man. Makeup is not intrinsically feminine. Don’t let society’s screwed up gender roles stop you from expressing yourself.
Reciprocal liking is a psychological term to describe the phenomenon of people tending to better like those people who like them. It reflects the notion that people feel better about themselves knowing that they are likable and enjoy the company of those who give them positive feelings. Reciprocal liking is considered a significant factor in the formation of many friendships and interpersonal attraction.
We call ships ‘she.’ We call our war machines ‘women.’ We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever the hell I want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down-play my power.
destroy the idea that biological families are more valid than other forms of family. destroy the idea that your parents/sibilings/extended relatives have an inherent right to be a part of your life if you dont want them to be
Tumblr: the home of the world’s sluttiest virgin’s
i actually love meme culture because it throws advertisers for such a loop they try so desperately appeal to the youth but the youth moves on to something like 2 weeks later and remembers the other thing as an embarrassing part of their past
Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
-Yeah, I’ve noticed quite the spark between them. There’s even been a rumor going around that they’ve screwed.
white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english*
"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like your parents did
I don’t read as much as I used to. I don’t draw as much as I used to.
I don’t even play video games as much as I used to.
I have no idea what I do.
I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade
If someone points at your black clothes and asks you whose funeral is it, a look around the room and a casual “haven’t decided yet” is always a good response.
my body is a temple, but it’s a temple to Dionysus
“This isn’t your typical love story…” opens the trailer for a movie about a white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, middle class, and likely loosely Christian couple who find each other through serendipity and a very small amount of actual work.#ahah
my friend i think you’re confused #you
see one of them doesn’t BELIEVE in love
Fun fact: since there is no canonically physical Cecil, you are never and always cosplaying him, you’re just not always aware of it.#shrodinger’s cosplay
i’m that friend that has to walk behind the group when the path isn’t big enough. i’m that friend that gets cut off in the conversation. i’m that friend that gets left behind when i asked for them to wait for me. i’m that friend that doesn’t get invited to hang out alot. i’m that friend that if i want to go to the mall or some place with a friend i have to be the one to invite people to make sure i get included. i’ll always be that friend.
When students cheat on exams, it’s because the school system values grades more than learning.
Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive
“forced" being one of the less preferred verbs to use when encouraging someone to love something.
I just realized that it’ll be the 20’s again in less than six years. I propose we bring back swing music and jazz attire.
#As long as we don’t have to bring back crippling economic depression and staggering wealth disparity between the haves and have-nots#oh
nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
-when i was a small child i carried around a little tiny pumpkin in my pockets for months
-i retract my original statement. that is fair and important
white masculinity is so garbage they count moisturizing their skin as feminine
“If you are not ready for her to call you at 3 AM freaking out, if you cannot handle her at her worst, if you only crave for her curves and not her mind, if you cannot deal with her mood swings and if you want her just for sex stay the fuck away.”
"Why do you flinch so hard?" Maybe there was a time when someone wasn’t kidding when they swung at me.
-yup. right up there with “why do you get so panicky when people raise their voice?” males particularly.
ive been alive for more than 2 decades but i always get surprised that it gets cold every year like literally every year this happens and i can’t believe that i can’t believe it gets this cold
why is it when a father kills his daughter’s rapist everyone sympathises and praises him but when the daughter kills the rapist herself she’s gone too far and now she’s the same if not worse than him… i’m joking i know why, we all know why
“What I remember most about emotional abuse is that it’s like being put in a box. How you end up in there is the biggest trick – I never managed to work that one out. Maybe you think it’s a treasure box at first: you’re in there because you’re special. Soon the box starts to shrink. Every time you touch the edges there is an “argument”. So you try to make yourself fit. You curl up, become smaller, quieter, remove the excessive, offensive parts of your personality – you begin to notice lots of these. You eliminate people and interests, change your behaviour. But still the box gets smaller. You think it’s your fault. The terrible, unforgivable too-muchness of you is to blame. You don’t realise that the box is shrinking, or who is making it smaller. You don’t yet understand that you will never, ever be tiny enough to fit, or silent enough to avoid a row.”
Some of the best memories I have were the ones that I made up in my mind.
tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS
-Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.
Hades was the least evil entity in the entire Greek pantheon. Just look at the punishments.
Pushing a rock uphill forever, Have venom slowly dripping on your face for eternity, have a bird eat your liver alive every day, that’s all Zeus.
Hades’ punishments were like ‘solve this million piece puzzle or whatever’
it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks
me:i fuckin love school learning man this is where im meant to be
professor: reminder that your paper is due next class
me:im dropping out
Because even American Horror Story knows that murderous, bloody clowns aren’t as scary and dangerous as rich white boys.
“If someone were to die at the age of 63 after a lifelong battle with MS or Sickle Cell, we’d all say they were a “fighter” or an “inspiration.” But when someone dies after a lifelong battle with severe mental illness and drug addiction, we say it was a tragedy and tell everyone “don’t be like him, please seek help.” That’s bullshit. Robin Williams sought help his entire life. He saw a psychiatrist. He quit drinking. He went to rehab. He did this for decades. That’s HOW he made it to 63. For some people, 63 is a fucking miracle. I know several people who didn’t make it past 23 and I’d do anything to have 40 more years with them.”
i really don’t understand why there’s a debate on whether catcalling is flattering or not??? women don’t think it’s flattering. end of story. the fact that there are men that think they can decide how women feel about something is the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard?
sexualities as doors
heterosexual:door swings one way
homosexual:door swings the other way
bisexual:door swings both ways
demisexual:door is locked
asexual:door is actually a wall
there’s this one girl at school who sends a mass text to the whole year group whenever she sees a dog so that we can go pat it too if we’re nearby and I have petted at least five dogs because of her that I wouldn’t have otherwise and idk I hope you all have someone like her in your lives
*sleigh bells jingle ominously in the distance*
Before I had kids, I had no idea it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.
of course sam let steve come in what else are you supposed to do when you have a sad dirty 95 year old golden retriever at your door
A hydra is a snake right? So basically Nick fury is trying to get hydra off the helicarrier right? Does that mean he’s trying to get those motherfucking snakes off his motherfucking plane?
#I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE #THAT IT HAS BEEN NEARLY TWO MONTHS #AND THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I’VE SEEN ANYONE MAKE THIS JOKE #FOR THE LOVE OF GOD #I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN TWO MONTHS AND *I* DIDN’T MAKE THIS JOKE #I’M DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF US #cap
dear men against abortion rights.
“Don’t like abortion? Get a vasectomy!”
(or in other words male sterilization)
"I don’t understand bisexuality, I don’t think it exists"
well I don’t understand physics but you don’t see me floating off into space because gravity no longer applies to me
if a roleplayer prefers writing smut over angst does that mean that they
write sins not tragedies
(on poster about tf2’s scout)The pitiful child-man
the missing link, between man and child!
the jabberwocky poem warned us to watch out for the frumious Bandersnatch yet he still has millions of fangirls
elementary school was like “hell yeah”. middle school was like “hell no”. and high school. high school is just “hell”
and then college is just “what the hell”
pronoia, the suspicion that everyone is trying to help you.
Don’t you dare
For someone else’s comfort -
Do not become small
For people who refuse to grow.
Hannibal is a gothic horror show about control, perception, abuse, mental illness and disability, the institution of psychiatry, and vengeance, frequently featuring terrifying scenes of violence and gore
and the fandom is comprised of teenage girls bedecking everyone in flowers and making cheesy puns
is this the actual reverse of the brony fandom
racist against white people jokes:
“Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.”
several months ago we had a cat with mysterious skin allergies that we couldn’t find the cause of. he was adopted as a “special needs” cat with the adopters understanding the circumstances
we just got an update and they had decided to get him a full allergy panel to find out what he’s allergic to
the cat is allergic to human dander.
we do not know enough about the subject to mock it, but rest assured, we will get there eventually.
we’ll stop beating this dead horse when it stops spitting out money.
if you think embarrassing shy people on purpose is funny please do yourself a favor and shove a truck up your ass
sometimes haters gonna make a valid point
sometimes i forget that danny devito isn’t just an abstract concept
the secret to losing followers is being yourself
Today’s Gender of the day is: Rocket Pineapples
you can tell how boring someone is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through their phone
do not bully superwholocks because they will make you die from secondhand embarassment
We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.
"I don’t want my ears pierced."
"I don’t want any earrings."
The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.
She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”
Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’
We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.
Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’
Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.
Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.
No means no, yeah, right.
Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”
stage 1 of friendship: what’s up ily so much!
stage 2 of friendship: oh god i hope i’m not being too clingy or bothering them
stage 3 of friendship: hey dickhead fucking answer me
Stage 4 of friendship: im outside your house and im coming in
how can you complain about “mary sue” characters when 90% of mainstream male characters are perfect strong heroes who save the day and “get the girl” but you can’t let a female character be the same without being mocked or having something fucking horrible happen to her you whiny fucking babies
“High School Musical" was just the working title for the film while a better name was thought up. However, by the time post-production came, a better name had not been thought of so the producers unwillingly went for "High School Musical”.
do not waste your emotional capacities on people whose respect for you is conditional
shouldn’t matter if you don’t love them anymore or they don’t love you anymore, they should still respect you, and you them.
Money can buy
• Independence and safety (not having to rely on abusive ppl, getting to control how you spend your time and money)
• Experiences (travel, events, vacations, entertainment)
• Health (medical care duh, good food, good location, reduced stress)
• Opportunity (car, being able to move, having a safety net, “looking professional”)
• Confidence (clothes that make you look good, things that make you feel good)
I dunno that seems a lot like happiness
If you like girls who look like they haven’t slept in days, are self destructive, and wear baggy tees and underwear 99% of the time, holla at me.
that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery
I think I’m having a midlife crisis
-but your 21?
I might die at 42.
game where the protagonist’s wife gets killed and he is thus motivated to swear vengeance out of grief, but he’s so useless at getting revenge that his wife comes back as a ghost and goes “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” and possesses his body to do her own dang avenging
WHY is Hinduism labelled as “mythology?”but Jesus can walk on water, heal people like some konoha medical ninja, and come back to life but OUR Gods and Goddesses are “myths”??????????
for those who dont understand, heteronormativity and cisnormativity are the reason queer people have to come out. we are automatically assumed cis and straight unless we explicitly say otherwise, which shouldn’t happen. no one should be assumed anything until they explicitly say otherwise. it also makes being queer seen as alien and unnatural.
there you go there’s your crash course on hetero/cisnormativity
“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do.’ Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time.’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle … ‘Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went ‘KFHGSKG’ and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!’ If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz.’
The world spent $1735 billion on war in 2012
It would cost approximately $135 billion to completely eradicate poverty.
Isn’t that a shocking example of how thing are prioritised globally
i hate when people complain about how technology is “ruining everything.” i have over 200 pictures of my dog on my phone and i can send them to my friends when they are sad. how is that ruining anything. why do you hate happiness?
imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow
Stages of Deterioration in the Human Body (important reference for writers)
The Moment Of Death:
1. The heart stops.
2. The skin gets tight and ashen in color.
3. All the muscles relax.
4. The bladder and bowels empty.
5. The body temperature begins to drop 1 1/2 degrees Fahrenheit per hour.
After 30 minutes:
6. The skin gets purple and waxy.
7. The lips, fingernails, and toenails fade to a pale color.
8. Blood pools at the bottom of the body.
9. The hands and feet turn blue.
10. The eyes sink into the skull.
After 4 hours:
11. Rigor mortis has set in.
12. The purpling of the skin and the pooling of the blood continue.
13. Rigor continues to tighten muscles for another 24 hours or so.
After 12 hours:
14. The body is in full rigor mortis.
After 24 hours:
15. The body is now the temperature of the surrounding environment.
16. In males, the semen dies.
17. The head and neck are now a greenish-blue color.
18. The greenish-blue color spreads to the rest of the body.
19. There is a pervasive smell of rotting meat.
After 3 days:
20. The gas in the body tissues forms large blisters on the skin.
21. The whole body begins to bloat and swell grotesquely.
22. Fluids leak from the mouth, nose, vagina, and rectum.
After 3 weeks:
23. The skin, hair, and nails are so loose they can easily be pulled off the corpse.
24. The skin bursts open on many places on the body.
25. Decomposition will continue until the body is nothing but skelital remains, a process that can take a month or so in hot climates, and two months or more in cold climates.
This man was reported dead after he drowned in pussy that night
Feminism is hated because women are hated. Anti-feminism is a direct expression of misogyny; It is the political defense of women hating.”
as a skinny person, you are catered to and you don’t even realize it. did you ask for that? no and i understand that. but you will never cry your eyes out in a dressing room because even the largest size doesn’t fit. you will never deal with rejection from a guy solely because of your weight. you are socially accepted.
is any kind of body shaming disgusting? yes. but please don’t act like you’d rather be fat.
rape culture is real, you can find your proof in the insatiable hunger that exists for non-consensual female nudity, and the derision for voluntary female nudity.
“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”
It’s funny, if you ask a Republican in Congress if they believe in climate change, they say, well, uh, I’m not a scientist. “I’m not a scientist” — that’s what they say. But when it comes to a woman’s right to choose, suddenly they’re a doctor.
I just don’t understand where this concept of ‘fake geek girls’ came from. Like, AT ALL.
Cus when I look for fandom related stuff like 90% of the fan art and the fanfiction and the meta, zines, comics, etc. Like 90% of the shit that I’ve seen is created by women & girls.
And all that stuff take’s a lot of work and research and critical analysis and staring at reference photos for hours.
We are literally the most well versed and invested group in the fandom. So, like, What the fuck boys? You mad you can’t keep up?
-I saw an argument, and I can’t find it now, but it totally made sense, that there’s a gender split in fandom. Male fandom tends to be a curator fandom; male fandom collects, organizes, and memorizes facts and figures. Male fandom tends to be KEEPERS of the canon; the fandom places great weight on those who have the biggest collection, the deepest knowledge of obscure subjects, the first appearances, creators, character interactions.
Female fandom is creative. Females create fanart, cosplay, fanwritings. Female fandom ALTERS canon, for the simple reason that canon does not serve female fandom. In order for it to fit the ‘outsider’ (female, queer, POC), the canon must be attacked and rebuilt, and that takes creation.
"Male" fandom devalues this contribution to fandom, because it is not the ‘right’ kind of fandom. "Girls only cosplay for attention, they’re not REAL fans!" "Fanfiction is full of stupid Mary Sues, girls only do it so they can make out with the main character!" "I, a male artist, have done this pin-up work and can put it in my portfolio! You, a female artist, have drawn stupid fanart, and it’s not appropriate to use as a professional reference!"
In the mind of people who decry the ‘fake geek girl,’ this fandom is not as worthy. It damages, or in their mind, destroys the canon. What is the point of memorizing every possible romantic entanglement of heterosexual white Danny Rand if someone turns around and creates a fanwork depicting him as a bisexual female of Asian descent (thus subverting Rand’s creepy ‘white savior’ origins)? When Danny Rand becomes Dani Rand, their power is lessened. What is important to them ceases to be the focus of the discussion. Creation and curatorship can work in tandom, but typically, in fandom, they are on opposite poles.
This is not to say that there aren’t brilliant male cosplayers or smashing female trivia experts, this is to say that the need of the individual fan is met with opposing concepts: In order for me to find myself in comics, I need to make that space for myself, and that is a creative force. Het white cis males are more likely to do anything possible to defend and preserve the canon because the canon is built to cater to them.
I want to point out tho that even in the rare situations where canon is for women, like Sailor Moon or My Little Pony, women and men still generally fall into their regular fandom patterns: women collaborate, re-imagine, and create, while men collect, protect, and compete.
That being said, bronies—for all their sins—are actually a remarkably creative male group compared to, say, male batman fans. They create a hell of a lot of erotica, plushies, costumes, fanfic, fanart, games, songs, etc. Maybe it’s because they’re not being catered to, maybe it’s because they learned from the initially large amount of female fans, maybe both? It’s really interesting.
I’m sorry, but if lesbians can control themselves in a girls only changing room with ass naked woman waltzing around. Then I figure men should be able to control them selves with clothed girls walking down the street. Just a thought.
Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions. Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.
In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:
“The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.”
In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts.”
the stereotype that women talk more than men is infinitely amusing to me because men are literally incapable of shutting the fuck up
“Why for example, does a twenty-two-year-old man pursue a sixteen-year-old adolescent? Because he is stimulated by her? Obviously not. They are at completely different developmental points in life with a dramatic imbalance in their levels of knowledge and experience. He is attracted to power and seeks a partner who will look up to him with awe and allow him to lead her. Of course, he usually tells her the opposite, insisting that he wants to be with her because of how unusually mature and sophisticated she is for her age. He may even compliment her on her sexual prowess and say how much power she has over him, setting up the young victim so that she won’t recognize what is happening to her. Even without a chronological age difference, some abusive men are drawn to women who have less life experience, knowledge, or self-confidence, and who will look up to the man as a teacher or mentor.”
u kno how when u were a kid u could ride in the car and be totally unaware of anything goin on around the car and just be chill
but then u took driver’s ed and u started learning all the rules and now even if ur just in the passenger seat u can’t help noticing all the shitty things ppl do on the road?
that’s what social justice is like
There are no Commandments in art and no easy axioms for art appreciation. “Do I like this?” is the question anyone should ask themselves at the moment of confrontation with the picture. But if “yes,” why “yes”? and if “no,” why “no”? The obvious direct emotional response is never simple, and ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the “yes” or “no” has nothing at all to do with the picture in its own right.
“I don’t understand this poem”
“I never listen to classical music”
“I don’t like this picture”
are common enough statements but not ones that tell us anything about books, painting, or music. They are statements that tell us something about the speaker. That should be obvious, but in fact, such statements are offered as criticisms of art, as evidence against, not least because the ignorant, the lazy, or the plain confused are not likely to want to admit themselves as such. We hear a lot about the arrogance of the artist but nothing about the arrogance of the audience. The audience, who have not done the work, who have not taken any risks, whose life and livelihood are not bound up at every moment with what they are making, who have given no thought to the medium or the method, will glance up, flick through, chatter over the opening chords, then snap their fingers and walk away like some monstrous Roman tyrant.
In case you still don’t understand how badly women have had it, when anaesthetic was first invented doctors weren’t allowed to give it to women who were giving birth because the church said that the pain of childbirth was God punishing women for not being men
if you couldn’t SEE how fucked up this is, let me put this into even more perspective for you.
a male with no high school education still makes more than a female with 9th-12th grade education (no diploma).
a male who is a high school graduate still makes more than a female with an associate’s degree.
a male with a bachelor’s degree only makes about ~$2000 less than a female with a fucking doctorate’s degree.
tell me again why feminism isn’t important.
and then men love to throw that “omg there are more women than men getting degrees!” factoid as proof of misandry rather than the truth that women need those degrees more to earn a living
Coworker:You guys are so dramatic, not all men are evil and shit.
Me:.... I know that, intellectually. Emotionally I'm not that clear.
Me:Let me put it this way. You know that if a skinny, rather short guy like you goes to jail, he's rather likely to be raped, right?
Me:So let's suppose you go to jail for something rather harmless, something that harmed no one, like... ar... selling bootleg DVDs or something like that. Something that would keep you inside for a year or so.
Me:So you go to jail and you know that people get raped in there. Yet you intellectually know it's impossible that all inmates are gay and sexually interested in you, it's statistically impossible. Right?
ut you'd still be scared, wouldn't you? I mean you know not all of them are out to get you, but you know some might and you can't tell who it would be. And yet you are forced to spend all your time with them, to share your space with them, and you know you might look at that ONE guy who could and would want to rape you. It would be ridiculously scary, right?
__o it would.
Me:....... well, that's how women feel every day, all the time. We know not all men are out to rape us, most would never dare do something like that, but we know there are some out there who would, gladly at that, and we can't tell them appart on sight alone. Also we feel like the short, skinny kid who did nothing really bad in jail, we know anyone can bring us down with a single punch.
Me:... so that girl who glares at you in the subway, she is not thinking you are a horrible man that deserves to die, she is trying to find out whether you are part of the small percentage of men out there who can and want to do her harm. You all should wear labels by the way, it would make communication so much easier.
Cowoker:........ that's fucking horrible.
Me:I know, right?
“My daughter has not seen her biological dad since she was four. She’s 11 now. When she was two he contacted me and asked if I would allow him to terminate his parental rights so he could stop paying child support and I agreed.. I wanted to spare her the heartache of a revolving door father and the sacrifice of the financial support was well worth him never being able to disappoint her again. I never lied to her about where he went or who her dad was.. I have always answered her questions in the most age appropriate way possible. When she was four he contacted me and told me he has been diagnosed with cancer and would like to see her. I set aside a day and we met in the park. He had asked for two hours. He stayed 20 minutes and we never heard from him again.. Over the summer we ran into somebody that knows him and they commented on how she looks like his other children. They elaborated that he has settled down and has a family now. My stomach tied itself in knots thinking of how hurtful that must be to my daughter.. I cut the conversation short and we got in the car to leave and that’s when I saw her smiling. She said “mom.. He figured out how to be a dad. That’s such a nice thing. I’m happy for his kids.” And that’s the day an 11 year old taught me all I need to know about forgiveness”
A memorial erected in Vancouver sparked controversy because it was dedicated to “all women murdered by men”, which critics say implies all men are potential murderers. As a result, women involved in the project received death threats
“Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”
so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”
i don’t know about you but i aim to make 2015 as gay as possible