delivery man:delivery for...Sacred Mistress Of Dark Spirits And All That Is Unholy?
standing under my ebony Victorian doorway, stroking a large raven in my arms) oh cool my Pillow Pet. where do i sign
Who needs small and serviceable adjectives when the most ass-backwards way of saying a thing is right there, tantalizingly hidden within the vast ocean of language.
Humans weren’t meant for long term space travel, they need food and heat and oxygen and they die in only like a hundred years or so, which isn’t long enough to travel between stars even at light speed. The future of interstellar exploration is going to rest on the shoulders of ghosts, vampires and skeletons.
The lesson here is that if you're making art, do it for the love of the craft, not recognition, because the people in charge of recognizing stuff have no understanding of irony.
I want to be the house that my children’s friends want to come to, because despite whatever they’re facing at home, they’ll know they’ll find a second family with me and mine.
I try to be there for everyone because no one deserves to feel how I felt
My friend just said the realest short person shit on the planet when she was talking about her sister being rude af
“I try to be the bigger person, but then I realize she’s taller then me so I don’t have to be.”
today we had a lock down drill and one kid in my class said “these are so stupid if someone really wanted to kill us they would pull the fire alarm so we would all leave the building in a big crowd and then they could just shoot us all” not sure if he is very smart or very dangerous
life hack: be best friends with a slytherin. they will steal cupcakes for you from work and tell you to drop toxic people from your life with no reservations. they will be the ones ordering you to stop and breathe and call in sick, to screw your commitments if they see you’re sacrificing your mental health. they’re the ones to say “don’t you dare settle” and “you deserve better” in a ruthless, matter-of-fact tone. they’ll be the ones saying it’s okay to put yourself first, the voice you need to hear after a long day or week or month. trust me, be best friends with a slytherin.
Do you ever wonder if people wonder about you? Like maybe they saw something today that reminded them of you. Or they heard your name. Or they just really miss you or your voice or your smile. I just wonder about who wonders about me.
Never let negative experiences make you bitter. Allow them to fill you up with wisdom to avoid unnecessary suffering, and help those who may be seeking guidance.
Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.
there is no weight limit to body positivity stop acting like there is a too fat to be treated with kindness and respect
You’ve heard of Carry On My Wayward Son now enjoy….Please Stop My Relentless Daughter
the first time i ever saw sniper as kinda hot was when he had been dead for hours prior, dark bags under his eyes, and massive stitches going across and down his entire abdomen and i think that says a lot about me as a person
i did not plan to be turned on by spy strangling someone with his feet today but by god this is where i am in life now
You've heard of the bill of rights now get ready for…..The bob of wrongs
no offense I haven’t heard a girl talk at length about pumpkin spice anything in years and I can’t remember the last time I went six hours without hearing a grown man making fun of how obsessed girls are with pumpkin spice lattes
Take “Dentist” from Little Shop of Horrors and replace all instances of “dentist” with “medic” and you’ll get what my partners and I have been laughing about all day.
Like 90% of what the Dog Whisperer does involves modifying the behavior of the people who own the dogs, not the dogs themselves. He should be called the Human Whisperer.
I wish I lived in the city like when ur pissed and you wanna storm off for a while you can go anywhere, to a cafe or a museum or a fucking park like where the hell am I gonna storm off to here in suburbia fucking walgreens?????
Even monsters need someone at their side.
You can never label yourself as “one of the good ones” you gotta be constantly calling yourself out and checking yourself and if you can call out others. We all have internalized shit we gotta combat every second. Just gotta deal with that. Re: racism, misogyny, transmisogny, transphobia, etc. We all have something to work on!
there is honestly no reason to lie to me. I’m too understanding. I get shit. I get life. I know that shit happens. just be straight up w me
I ferociously battle my demons, so I am able to still stand beside you when you encounter yours…
making up a sad headcanon to hurt your friend:nice
accidentally hurting yourself in the process:wait a second this isn't what i
’Slut’ is attacking women for their right to say yes. ‘Friend Zone’ is attacking women for their right to say no. And “bitch” is attacking women for their right to call you on it.
If your concern is that you as a man aren’t given space in feminism instead of the fact that women aren’t given space anywhere but feminism, then you are not a feminist ally. You’re an egotistical whiny dude.
Your Trollsona's Name
FIRST NAME: The first two letters of your first, middle, and last names
SURNAME: The last two letters of the same names
If you don’t have a middle name or that combination makes no sense, use the first three letters of your first/last name, etc. Don’t worry about overlap.
I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 things that do not work.
Imagine your OTP
Lying in bed, foreheads pressed together, just gazing into each other’s eyes and taking it all in. Everything is silent.
And then Person A suddenly sneezes and scares Person B so badly that they fall out of bed.
cast actual teenagers as teenage characters campaign 2k15 And stop making fourteen year olds think they should look like actors/actresses on tv who are actually like 20+
Like please don’t try and drag me. I actually am a nice person and I will fix automatically anything that comes off rude. I don’t have an ego where I need to be right all the time. I make mistakes and I will always apologize immediately. Just message me, and I will correct my actions.
The first time someone tried to steal my bag in the subway I panicked and I broke his arm with an umbrella and since then none of my friends will let me forget about this.
If you think this was a badass moment you need to remember I’m 5 ft and my bag was a Lucky Star bag and I was crying while hitting someone much bigger than me repeatedly with a frog-shaped umbrella.
If the bible were written in the 20th century, God would be the bad guy. He was a tyrannical leader who caused mass extinction and genocide all in the name of his own worship, and banished to hell the one person who stood up against him.
when you constantly joke-flirt with a friend to the point where you’re not sure if it’s a joke or not anymore
You never apologized to me for hurting me, but I apologized to you 12 times for being angry about it.
“If you only pursue people who are significantly younger than you, then age isn’t ‘just a number’ to you.”
“Age is just a number.” I’ve heard this phrase used to defend relationships with mutual informed consent, where there happens to be an age discrepancy. Those are the rare cases.The phrase unfortunately has been perverted in meaning. It’s most often repeated by older men trying to have sex with young women or even girls. The phrase is a rationalization, and an attempt to convince the other person to ignore their justified feelings of discomfort. If you’re specifically preying on younger, more vulnerable people, then age is a lot more than a number.
there is no “tumblr hivemind” tumblr does not “contradict itself” nor is tumblr “welcoming and accepting” tumblr is not a single person it’s a fuckton of people with different opinions. those two contradictory text posts by sj bloggers you saw today were made by different people Shocking new discovery: tumblr is in fact a community of multiple people!
Awesome artists are crappy artists that never gave up
Me:I will NEVER set foot into a haunted house or an abandoned hospital theres no way in hell I'm goin there theres ghosts and demons and shit
Me after pokemon go:Satan can suck my dick theres a fuckin Gengar in there
brain:instead of going to bed now, lets stay up another 5 hours doing nothing productive.
I reject the idea that there’s any requirement to be civil to someone whose views dehumanize you.
if we break up or stop being friends your secrets are still my secrets, i’ll stick to my word regardless
if fat bodies disgust u quite frankly that is UR problem to deal with, UR emotional baggage, UR issue. fat people dont have to give a shit about ur fucked up feelings deal with them on ur own
Honestly if you see support of others as hatred of you, even if they desperately need that support and you don’t, you need to work on that within yourself.
Helping someone else doesn’t mean others hate you. If you need something, ask for what you need. It’s not a contest. Others paying attention to literally anything else is not the same thing as you being rejected or mistreated.
It’s weird how in animals seeing ribs/collar&hip bones is considered sick or even abusive, but in people that’s considered beautiful.
Josh:Chris your waifu is shit.
ut you're my waifu.
Josh:The statement still stands.
Y do grown men fetishize infantile women tho?????
--“Because they’re easier to control”
We have a winner
It’s sad to think that you may never see or talk to someone again who you once considered to be one of the most important people in your life at a certain point in time. This is one of those concepts that I will never be able to understand.
reminder that if you’re not following my other blog you are missing out on the joy that is getting to know me & my irrelevant opinions
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where we knick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.
15 year olds:I am so wise beyond my years... growing up is so *sniffles* tragic....I understand pain
20 year olds:what the fuck is happening
do rude people know they’re rude?
--Nah they think they’re “real”
If you’re promoting changes to women’s behavior to “prevent” rape, you’re really saying “make sure he rapes the other girl”.
There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.
Me: wow, I got money in my pockets, my life’s planning out fine, my skin is looking clear, I’m not stressed over a significant other… Life’s good!
God: lmao hold up bitch
age 6:i want to live in a SPACE MANSION
age 9:i want to live in a REGULAR MANSION
age 12:i want to live in a BIG HOUSE
age 15:i want to live in a REGULAR HOUSE
age 18:i want to live SOMEWHERE WITH A COUCH
age 21:i want to live in a SPACE MANSION
Women are emotional in order to feel the divine energy at the highest levels and be supreme healers and lovers and mothers. Not to drive men insane. Her deep spiritual connection to feelings is to inspire a man to his spiritual heights as well. She is not a nag, she is an oracle.
Be a good person, but don’t waste time proving it.
its kind of sad when you hit up and old friend and you both really miss each other but the connection just isnt there anymore
it occasionally occurs to me that pretty much all sj issues can be summed up as “don’t hurt people” with a sidenote of “you can hurt people on accident, but they’re still hurt so apologize and learn from it”
basically at the core of it, it’s similar to “if you bump into a stranger, apologize and try not to do it again”. And people not only debate it, but some go out of their way to bump into strangers and scream “Awww are you hurt?! are you crying!! did I upset you!!” as a weird hobby
Men, as a class, agree they should control women. they don’t agree how.
To right wing men, we are private property. To left wing men, we are public property. In either case, we are not considered to be humans: We are things.
You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how you love. There is courage in that
An actual exchange I just heard outside my window
child 1: I really like screaming
child 2: yeah me too
child 1: let’s screamAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
child 2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
both children: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I am the ’70s child of a health nut. I wasn’t vaccinated. I was brought up on an incredibly healthy diet: no sugar till I was 1, breastfed for over a year, organic homegrown vegetables, raw milk, no MSG, no additives, no aspartame. My mother used homeopathy, aromatherapy, osteopathy; we took daily supplements of vitamin C, echinacea, cod liver oil.I had an outdoor lifestyle; I grew up next to a farm in England’s Lake District, walked everywhere, did sports and danced twice a week, drank plenty of water. I wasn’t even allowed pop; even my fresh juice was watered down to protect my teeth, and I would’ve killed for white, shop-bought bread in my lunchbox once in a while and biscuits instead of fruit, like all the other kids.We ate (organic local) meat maybe once or twice a week, and my mother and father cooked everything from scratch—I have yet to taste a Findus crispy pancake, and oven chips (“fries,” to Americans) were reserved for those nights when Mum and Dad had friends over and we got a “treat.”As healthy as my lifestyle seemed, I contracted measles, mumps, rubella, a type of viral meningitis, scarlatina, whooping cough, yearly tonsillitis, and chickenpox. In my 20s I got precancerous HPV and spent six months of my life wondering how I was going to tell my two children under the age of 7 that Mummy might have cancer before it was safely removed.So the anti-vaccine advocates’ fears of having the “natural immunity sterilized out of us” just doesn’t cut it for me. How could I, with my idyllic childhood and my amazing health food, get so freaking ill all the time?
My two vaccinated children, on the other hand, have rarely been ill, have had antibiotics maybe twice in their lives, if that. Not like their mum. I got many illnesses requiring treatment with antibiotics. I developed penicillin-resistant quinsy at age 21—you know, that old-fashioned disease that supposedly killed Queen Elizabeth I and that was almost wiped out through use of antibiotics.*
So if you think your child’s immune system is strong enough to fight off vaccine-preventable diseases, then it’s strong enough to fight off the tiny amounts of dead or weakened pathogens present in any of the vaccines.
“Virtuosic.” “A prodigy.” “Genius.” These words were written in the 1760s about Mozart—Maria Anna Mozart. When she toured Europe as a pianist, young Maria Anna wowed audiences in Munich, Vienna, Paris, London, the Hague, Germany, and Switzerland.
“My little girl plays the most difficult works which we have … with incredible precision and so excellently,” her father, Leopold, wrote in a letter in 1764. “What it all amounts to is this, that my little girl, although she is only 12 years old, is one of the most skillful players in Europe.
Just how far Maria Anna could have gone as a musician, we’ll never know.
In 1769, when she was 18 years old and eligible to marry, her father ended her days on the road. While he and Wolfgang toured Italy, Maria stayed behind in Salzburg.
I forget that most ppl don’t know this. Music history is so fucking sexist, it’s so heartbreaking.
For pretty much every important male composer you can find a hugely talented female (sister, wife, mother, close friend etc) somewhere in the background redirecting pmuch all of her creative energies into him. Mozart continued to use Nannerl for ideas and inspiration for years afterwards, bouncing ideas off her etc, but if she composed any music of her own it would be considered silly and frivolous and not worth publishing, or a waste of time because a woman’s job is to have babies.
(another woman worth remembering in connection to Mozart is Victoire Jenamy, pianist for whom Mozart wrote the concerto now considered his first masterpiece. worth remembering mostly because historians kind of completely erased her and attributed the first performance to some unknown pianist ‘Jeunehomme’, evidently not considering that when Mozart used that as the title for the piece he was making a pun, or play on words, as he loved to do. and this misattribution was literally perpetuated until the 21st century)
then misogynists are like “all the great composers have been men!” wow, what reason could there possibly be for that
Clara Schumann was also an accomplished composer in her own right, but it was just a bit hard for her to compose while caring for her eight children, especially after her husband was committed to an asylum.
Fanny Mendelssohn, Felix’s sister, is another woman composer who was ignored by her contemporaries.
another conversation from geology class
[during a quiz]
student:is it acceptable to lick the rock to identify it?
professor:i would be very offended if you did not lick the rock
People actually expect me to believe that if you throw a group of only one sex inside a fucking maze with no memories, no social, cultural or religious discourses forced upon them, no outside influences of any kind for years and years with only each other to grow close too, trust, survive with, protect, build with, bond with etc.
That eVERY SINGLE ONE WOULD END UP STRAIGHT??????!??!!
I want all of you to set a goal to start a savings account and get it (within reason to your situation) to $500 by February 1st. I started my savings account when I quit smoking. I downloaded my banks app. Everyday I went without buying a pack of cigarettes, I deposited $6.37 into my savings account. Every time I thought about stopping at starbucks and didnt, I deposited the $5 into my savings. Every time I didn’t buy a coke at the gas station, I deposited $2.50 into my savings. These all may seem like trivial purchases but by the end of my first week, I had $50+ in my savings account. Abstain from small purchases, continue to ‘spend’ the money by depositing it in your coin jar or savings account and see how quickly your mindless purchases add up.
I honestly hate how art and media have kind of romanticized the idea of like “going off your meds and being your true self again” because like I started taking antidepressants and like immediately got a new job, found a place to live, improved my relationships with people in my life and completely reconciled with my sort of estranged ex-girlfriend?? Medication can be rad and while I realize that it’s not for everybody I don’t think anything should be trying to convince anyone that being on medication inherently makes you less of who you are
(Most) Medication is for helping you to be you again. The real me isn’t tired by just walking to the train station. The real me is not my anxiety or depression. They don’t define me.
The real me is who I am when I’m not anxious and feeling worthless 24/7.
Medication is supposed to be the chemical equivalent of glasses or a wheelchair, depending on the severity of impairment. It tries to help you compensate for what has been taken, been broken, or is missing.
In particular, i always hear the myth that anti-depressants give you “artificial happiness”… no, no, no. They give your brain the ability to be happy. You won’t always be happy, and sometimes you’ll be sad. But the happiness you’re able to feel when you’re on meds is your own, real, happiness.
in stories featuring aliens, they’re always like “on my planet this never happens!” or “in my culture, this differs from your human culture.” and that’s neat and all because i like worldbuilding and all that jazz but wouldn’t it be fun if they just. couldn’t do that?
i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete
like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”
“what sorts of plants grow on your planet?”
“i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say”
“tell us about the culture on your planet!”
“do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin”
“your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?”
“naw it’s cool, it’s just that, um, i’m a philosophy major”
I feel like almost all of the guys who’ve had an unreciprocated thing for me developed it because I listened to them and was emotionally supportive, etc., but they themselves never thought to do the same for me. Which ended up with this weird situation where I knew them super well but they literally had zero idea about who I was as a person other than “listens really well and is emotionally supportive.”
Like, they didn’t know the first thing about what was important to me, my beliefs, my family, my work, how I spent my time when I wasn’t with them. Because not a single one of them wanted to know. They would just… never ask, or they’d ask politely and when I started to answer they’d show extreme disinterest and change the subject back to themselves.
But they still thought they loved me, because to them that’s all love is - being emotionally supported by someone. It did not even occur to them that the support could ever go both ways, and they were always bewildered about why I never loved them “back” - even though all they gave me to love was a person so self-obsessed that he couldn’t see me at all.
Emotional labour is so, so important to be aware of in relationships. It has to have some kind of balance, or the person performing it will just burn out. And a relationship consisting only of one person demanding and demanding and never giving back is not love. Love is not a demand. It can accept, and it can ask, but love listens, love cares about how its requests affect the beloved. Love wants to give back.
A relationship consisting only of one person demanding and demanding and never giving back is not love.
Love is not a demand. It accepts, and sometimes it asks, but love also listens. Love cares about how its requests affect the beloved. Love wants to give back.
I’m one of those people who was punished for even the smallest mistakes in life. Like, seriously badly punished. Had everything in my bedroom taken away, even the bed, for a C- in English class because I apparently couldn’t speak my own language. Getting yelled at for missing a spot when cleaning something, and forbiddion to clean it again. Y’know, raised being scared to make a mistake so she became a perfectionist.
I’m also one of those people who was raised by passively aggressive parents. Did they mean what they said? Are they going to go back on it in five minutes? Just the constant thought of “whatever I did to deserve this, I’m sorry” whenever they got snippy or gave me the silent treatment.
I’m also one of those people with mild autism, and sometimes I can’t pick up on social cues. But because of the paragraph above, sometimes I read too much into social cues. What they wrote is troubling… are they made at me? Why is that person I don’t know yelling at me and calling me a bitch when I didn’t do anything? What did I do? I don’t understand what I did wrong, just tell me if I did something wrong!
So, if you see me doing something you don’t approve of, for god’s sake, just TELL ME! Tell me plainly. If it’s a huge fuck up, I can take a yelling at (though I might disappear for a few days). Cause I don’t want to drop a thread because I was made to feel like I made a mistake. Let me know I’m being childish. Let me know that I did something you don’t like. Don’t dance around it. Don’t pretend everything’s alright. If you think I’m doing something or saying something wrong JUST TELL ME!
“People are too sensitive these days”, the comedian complains, minutes after screaming death threats at a heckler
The thing about the rich of this country is that billionaires have more money than is humanly possible to spend. So like, I really do not give any amount of a shit if increasing their taxes is “faaair” because I care more about no one starving to death or going without medical care in fucking 2015 than I do about the great grandson of the guy who invented some crappy toy being able to buy his 17th yacht. We can fucking print out organs and we have people dying of the flu because they are too poor to go to the er. Like??? Tax the shit outta the rich. Take half their money. Idgaf.
And like conservatives are so quick to say its not fair to tax the fuck out of the rich, but then they say to people struggling that “life isn’t fair” like??? If anyone is getting screwed here I want it to be the guy who owns four mc mansions not the family of four living out of their car.
honestly though I’ve never understood how people are able to convince themselves that media being more socially aware or having a cast with a wider spectrum of race and identity is somehow “pandering” as if media being 90% white, straight, able-bodied, neurotypical and cis is some sort of natural order that’s not at all influenced by pandering to a specific audience and must be preserved at all costs to assure the safety of creativity itself. I mean, are they seriously not able to identify that enforcing a rigid status quo is the literal opposite of encouraging creativity or what
If a guy is talking down to you/being condescending and playing it off as a nonchalant flirting tactic, but it’s making you feel bad/the need to defend yourself…
fucking run. away. FAST.
He’s trying to make you work for his attention. He’s trying to get you dependent on his approval and validation. He’s trying to hold power over you and paint himself as your own personal savior.
He is not TEASING you.
He is being a fucking manipulative piece of shit.
Please. I fell for this shit too many times.
The very act of saying “religious” or “religion” when you mean “Christian” or “Christianity” is Christian centric and upholding Christian normativity.
there’s a “religious centre” on campus and its literally just a christian church
Let’s be honest with ourselves -
many of the assholes who cry “freedom of religion” when trying to stop LGBT+ rights from being a thing are Christians who just want only Christians to have “religious freedom.”
I’ve seen a number of Republicans, including a few currently running for President, make the statement that “Religious Freedom means being able to worship Jesus Christ in any way you wish.”
“In West Bengal, the sex worker collective Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee surveyed over 21,000 women who do sex work. They collected 48,000 reports of abuse or violence by police– in contrast with 4,000 reports of violence by customers”
When sex workers in the US tell you that the policies you support hurt us and do not reflect the best paths for our well-being, you often point out that we are not representative, and that therefore, our assessment of our lives in invalid and unworthy of a public platform. Ironically, you never seem to have stats that haven’t been debunked from here to the moon and back on your side, but, for the moment, that’s irrelevant.
But this is what I want to ask you about: Durbar, as a peer-led health and advocacy group, is over twenty years old, and has over 65,000 sex working members. This study survey more than twenty one thousand sex workers. Even if I were to concede that your picture of tumblr-using sex workers as “unrepresentative” privileged happy hookers were accurate (and I don’t, it’s trash and you don’t fucking listen), Durbar generally and this study specifically is pretty much a perfect fit for your definition of representative. Right? Right.
And let’s look at what they found: More than twice the number of incidents of police violence than there are actual workers. Police are one dozen times more likely to abuse or be violent towards a sex worker than a client is. Twelve fucking times more likely.
And yet, somehow, “male demand” for sex work is the problem? It appears to be something less than eight per cent of the problem.
Please, radical feminists, who care so very much about protecting me and my colleagues from violence, explain to me how can you look at this situation, and think that the solution is any legal model that increasespolice presence, that ensures that law enforcement feel they have a right to interfere in our lives and our work, that demandsthat we remain isolated from any sort of non-police support (by making it illegal to rent to us, or be supported by us, or provide services to us)? How can you, with even an ounce critical thinking skills, and even a shred of decency and compassion, look at those numbers and think that more policing is what keeps the most vulnerable of us safe?
When you advocate for End Demand policies, you focus on eradicating a tiny portion of what makes sex work dangerous, unpleasant and stigmatized, without actually providing alternatives for the people you claim to care most about (those among us who don’t have other options). And as you do that – as you rail on our behalf against an enemy that isn’t actually our enemy, you deliver us right into the hands of the people who are the most dangerous to us.
Please explain to me why that’s what you want.
Stranger rape actually accounts for less than 18 percent of reported rapes.
Under 11% of reported rapes involve a weapon.
And this is despite the fact that victims are more likely to report on strangers than their friends and family.
Even stranger rapes are much more likely to involve alcohol used as a date rape drug than the incredibly rare snatched-off-the-streets scenario.
Telling women to change their entire routine and look and be constantly afraid in order to avoid stranger rape, even if it worked, is not going to prevent the vast majority of rapes, which are committed by acquaintances, friends, partners, and date partners.
Most rapists use alcohol, intimidation, or other emotional manipulation, not physical force. Instead of teaching women not to wear ponytails, we should teach about actual red flags to be aware of - like a controlling partner or a date or friend who deliberately pushes boundaries.
We should also teach about what consent is and what it looks and feels like, because we’re finding out more and more that many people don’t actually know and assume being snatched off the streets is the only kind of “real” rape, due in no small part to “rape tips” like this.
women in relationships get demonised for never telling someone what’s wrong and just saying “it’s fine”… but we ALSO get demonised as a nag or a bitch for actually expressing something that bothers us.
That’s fucking bullshit.
They told us we were bad people for talking about it when we were upset at someone. So we shut our mouths and said everything was fine and they told us that made us bad too.
And, because disability is so identified with dependence, let me talk for a moment about that.
I am a dependent person. I eat food whose final preparation I handle myself, but which has come to me across roads laid and maintained by other people from stores staffed by other people – and even those people didn’t grow or raise or harvest or slaughter any of it. I wear clothes made by other people from cloth woven by still others. I am human: I depend on others. And this is called independence.
I am a dependent person. I need human contact, most of which I receive through an Internet built and maintained by many other people. I do not know my neighbors, but even face-to-face interaction requires someone’s cooperation. I have learned from my time in isolation rooms that I can handle a while without human interaction, but that eventually it will become unbearable. I am human: I depend on others. And this is called independence.
I am a dependent person. The words I work with were taught to me by people who wrote and read them before I traced my first A. The language I work in is a living entity, shaped and grown over centuries by billions upon billions of speakers. The ideas I work on are part of a tradition nurtured by many thinkers. I am human: I depend on others. And this is called independence.
I am a dependent person. I do not – have learned that I cannot safely – live alone. I require the patterns of life to be modeled for me over and over again. I struggle to get, and to keep, jobs in workplaces designed for “plug-and-play” workers. I learn some things quickly and easily; I need to be explicitly taught many things that seem obvious to others. I am human: I depend on others. And this is called dependence.
Independent can mean self-governing. It can also mean self-reliant. It can deny others’ influence on our decisions or others’ support in carrying those decisions out.
Dependent can mean controlled by others. It can also mean requiring the support of others.
None of us, of course, is independent in either sense. We grow up in social contexts, supported and denied, enabled and disabled by those around us.
But some rely on supports which are so common as to go unnoticed, while others use support that is atypical and therefore apparent. Some supports are provided by the community as a whole and go unnoticed, while others are borne – or not – by a small number of people whose lives are profoundly affected.
So I know the ways in which I am dependent not by looking at how I depend on others, but by watching other people. I look to nondisabled people to tell me which kinds of dependence are recognized, which are devalued. I know the shame that comes with asking for “inappropriate” help.
Within the disability community, too, there are fault lines around which kinds of dependence we recognize, which kinds we devalue.
what's the weirdest thing about university?
how nothing is surprising or abnormal
like you can be sitting in your kitchen at 2am eating pasta sauce out of a jar with a spoon and the only thing you think is “this is really tasty i wonder what it would be like spread on toast”
or going into the library and seeing someone sat at a computer wrapped in a duvet and thinking “that’s a genius idea”
or seeing someone sitting in a lecture with a 2 pint bottle of milk just swigging from it and just being jealous
literally anything goes. no one is gonna question your habits bc guaranteed they will have done something equally bizarre
one time in a lecture a guy offered me some of this giant loaf of bread. Just like… rip some off if you want it? and I was like… yes… yes I will partake of your bread thank you sir. And over the next two hours we just destroyed it and it was the most delicious thing I’d ever had.
Honestly one of the most important things I can say I’ve learned as an artist is that if you feel like you’re really stagnating, that probably means you’re seeing problems in your work that you have never been able to see before, but you haven’t figured out how to fix them yet.
You’re not really stagnating
You’re understanding of drawing has moved beyond your current execution.
Once you have finished processing the problems you’re suddenly seeing, you’re likely to correct them and suddenly make a huge breakthrough in your drawing.
Don’t push yourself, either. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a problem temporarily to solve it, just don’t give up drawing altogether.
TL;DR feeling like your drawing is stagnating/getting worse means your eye is improving, and your hands are likely to catch up soon.
It’s really frustrating to me when the guys I know can’t just take off their Man Goggles and see what the world is like for people who aren’t afforded the privileges they are.
Like, the guys I hang out with are amazing, thoughtful, gentle people who listen to my feminist rants and ask questions and engage and generally believe me and sometimes do their own research. But there are so many things where it’s just like… I feel like I’m describing smells to someone who not only can’t smell, but is from a species that doesn’t have a concept of smell.
The programming is embedded so deep and it takes so much effort and focus to untangle and start to color-correct and sharpen to make up for the weird tint and blurriness that comes from privilege goggles.
It makes me think about how many pairs of goggles I’m wearing, and how much more tweaking my perspective needs to be anywhere close to accurate.
“calling a man a “pig” is literally dehumanising how do some people not think there’s anything wrong with that how”
Because chicks, fillies, birds and bitches never get dehumanised. Those vixens always get away with this kind of shit. Especially the heifers, they’re the worst. What cows.
Moreover, men get called pigs for disgusting behavior, whereas women are called chicks, birds, and vixens simply for being women.
12 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Magic System
How is it learned and executed?
How is it accessed?
Does it have a will of its own?
Is it restricted in space and time?
What does available magic do?
How does it relate to the character, plot and theme of the book?
What is the cost of magic?
What can it not do?
How long does it last?
Who can use it?
How do others react to it?
Why haven’t people with this power taken over the world?
I just really want to write a book (in fact, I think that I’m going to) where the protagonist is in a wheelchair. And they live in a city where there’s a group of superheroes. And there’s a big, magical, villain because of course there is.
And since they were a young child, this protagonist has wanted nothing more than to join the group of superheroes. Like they’re a huge fan of the group and they just know that it’s their destiny to join.
And one day, when wheeling through the city, they see the group of heroes fighting the villain. And they quickly wheel over and cry, “Let me help!”
But the ‘heroes’ laugh and instead make a whole bunch of ableist remarks.
And so the protagonist has to prove themselves.
And the villain is trying to warn them to stop.
But the protagonist ends up taking their footrest off of their wheelchair and they swing it. And it hits the villain in the side of the face and the villain collapses and groans in pain.
And so the protagonist proudly smiles and turns to the group of heroes.
Because they just proved that they are strong and worthy enough.
But the group of ‘heroes’ still keeps making ableist remarks.
And the protagonist is shocked.
And meanwhile, the ‘villain’ staggers to their feet and is standing next to the protagonist’ wheelchair.
And one of the ‘heroes’ goes too far when calling the protagonist the R word.
And the protagonist and the ‘villain’ just sort of glance at one another.
And the ‘villain’ is just like, “You know…I can zap them for you…if you want.”
And the protagonist hesitates and says, “Yeah, alright!”
One fried group of heroes later, the ‘villain’ says, “Why do you think that I’m always fighting them? They’re all a bunch of assholes.”
And the protagonist sadly nods and starts to wheel away.
“Hey, do you want a job?”
The protagonist turns at the villain’s remark. And the protagonist mumbles something like, “Oh, come on. I don’t need your pity.”
And the ‘villain’ is like, “Pity!? Do I look like someone who hands out pity!? I don’t pity you! I’m kind of afraid of you, to be honest! I mean…I’m going to have a giant bruise on my face because of you.”
“Water under the bridge! So, what do you say? Do you want a job?”
And the protagonist thinks about it for a minute before shrugging.
And the ‘villain’ is all excited because they’ve wanted someone to work with them for years but no mortal is allowed to ‘step into’ their lair.
And then the ‘villain’ stops and is like, “Hang on…you can’t work with me in that.”
And they gesture to the protagonist’s wheelchair.
And the protagonist is all embarrassed.
And then the villain goes, “Because we can get you a much better wheelchair! It’ll look great! And it’ll be indestructible! And it’ll have all sorts of weapons and gadgets! Hey, how do you feel about flying…?”
And all of that is literally in the first chapter and then the rest of the story follows the two going around the city like BAMFs, forcing people to stop being ableist, one way or another. And maybe it’ll have some commentary on the scale of morality and what it truly means to be a hero and what it truly means to be a villain.
Developing the ability to piss other people off (or even to RISK pissing them off) without knuckling under is pretty much the Holy Grail of emotionally abused kids, I think. We are programmed to respond at the first sign of displeasure, and we don’t have the faith in ourselves and our decisions to weather the storm– or even a mild sprinkle– so we tend to freak out as if the world was ending if a cloud crosses the sun. We freak out about the possibility that we’re wrong, that we’re doing the wrong things, that we’re making the wrong choices, that we’ll make someone angry, because there’s this awful certainty lurking at the back of our minds that says “If you do the wrong thing, you will be in TROUBLE.” And being in TROUBLE is the worst thing, ever, because that part of our brain is forever three years old where our parents are our whole world and being in TROUBLE is the end of everything.
It takes a lot of practice to gain that sort of gut-level knowledge that we’re strong enough to handle this stuff and that the world doesn’t end if someone else is angry at us. It’s not an innate quality that some people have and some don’t; people who grow up in non-abusive homes learn it when they’re young, is all, and the rest of us have to learn it when we’re grown up. And it sucks, and it’s not fair, and it’s not fun, but there’s no getting around it, and you can do it, you CAN.
You can piss people off.
You can be wrong.
You can fuck up.
You can do stuff that everyone thinks is weird.
AND IT IS ALL OKAY. The world won’t end. You will still be a good person. And the likelihood is that most of the things you do WON’T be wrong, and WON’T piss people off, and WON’T be up-fuckery, and WON’T be weird, but if it is? The hell with it; fix it, if necessary, and move on.
other people aren’t here to be your hobby or fetish
Fetishization is super dehumanising. Basically it’s when you have a creepy fascination with a category of people who are marginalised for traits you don’t have. It’s like seeing real people as really interesting animals or like abstract concepts or a porn category.
You can fetishize people for their orientation, race, ethnicity, disability, mental illness, religion, for being trans – basically any trait people are marginalised for, other people will use that marginalisation to fetishise them. Often the fetishisation is sexual, sometimes not. (Academics and health professionals, when working with populations they’re not a part of, can and do fetishize their subjects/patients.)
“othering” a person for having traits you don’t - thinking of yourself as “normal” and them as something other than “normal” (exotification falls under this - “she’s hot because she’s different/exotic!”)
reducing the complex experiences of marginalised individuals into homogenized stereotypes and tidy little stories to be enjoyed by people not marginalised for the same thing
seeing people or groups of people as symbols, abstract ideas, aesthetic accessories, sexual objects, props for your self-aggrandising “saviour” role, etc., instead of as complex human beings with autonomy
creepy fascination that reduces real people to a “hobby” or “interest” for a privileged person
Basically it’s an insidious form of objectification that relies on extreme othering to make it seem okay, and it’s extremely disrespectful and harmful.
if you think theres EVER an excuse for pedophilia, unfollow me. if you think it’s okay to literally count down the days until a minor is legal so you can “thirst after them” without repercussions, unfollow me. if you think it’s okay to make sexual comments to/towards minors, unfollow me. if you insist that it’s the minor’s fault that they’re being sexualized, unfollow me. if you think it’s okay for an adult to be in a relationship with a minor, unfollow me.
minors need to be able to feel safe and not be targeted for your sick fantasies because they’re ‘easy’ or ‘inexperienced’. minors shouldn’t be told that they’re ‘aged up in your head’. minors shouldn’t be taken advantage of by people they’re trusting to guide them and teach them. adults shouldn’t be emotionally and mentally manipulating minors into doing what they want. adults shouldn’t be telling minors about how they’re “jailbait” and expecting it to be a goddamn compliment.
if an adult is trying to hit on you and you’re under 18, don’t entertain it. i know it feels flattering, and i know they’ll tell you everything under the sun about how you’re “just so mature for your age” and about how “you act so much older”, but they’re just manipulating you. there’s a reason they can’t get with someone their own age. please be smart and be safe. it can be hard to notice the signs and it can be hard to tell yourself that you’re being taken advantage of when you don’t realize it, but do your best to stay away from any adult who shows signs of romantic/sexual interest in you.
no one fucking tells you this so here it is:
when signing out forms to apply for disability / filling out a form for diagnosis
you’re supposed to fill it out as you on your worst days
like, I filled out forms that said I could do most things usually
like, my doctor added in the conditions like “yeah, they can feed themselves when not stressed” “they can do this when not stressed”
but how I should have filled it out was more like
“some days I can’t feed myself” “some days I can’t leave the house”
My doctor didn’t even know this, but I talked to someone who had worked with people with both developmental and intellectual disabilities for a number of years, and she told me to write down how it is for your bad days
this should be a thing they tell you, but it isn’t
part of the reason I didn’t get my autism diagnosis as soon as I should have is because I filled out forms wrong!
Okay, listen up everyone
this is an important PSA for people born with vaginas. and it is important for people born with penises too because they should learn these things too
SEX ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT. (more specifically I mean vaginal penetration isn’t supposed to hurt.)
FORGET ALL THE LIES YOU LEARNED IN HEALTH CLASS.
NO, your vagina isn’t too small and NO, the reason you can’t insert tampons/fingers into your vagina without experiencing pain isn’t because you are a virgin.
If you can’t insert fingers and/or tampons into your vagina without it hurting then a penis sure as hell isn’t going to be any different.
If you try to have someone penetrate you with their penis it causes you great pain THEN STOP IMMEDIATELY. CONTINUING WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE PAIN AND MAKE IT WORSE. (And people with penises, don’t force your penis in if your partner is in pain!)
What you have is called “Vaginismus”– painful spasmodic contraction of the vagina in response to physical contact or pressure (especially in sexual intercourse).
Basically meaning your muscles tense up and make penetration impossible and extremely painful. Bet you didn’t learn that in health class, huh? Because health class is fucking useless.
And NO, this is not something that only happens to people with a history of sexual abuse. 2 in every 1000 people with vaginas have Vaginismus and that does not include the ones that go undocumented. Most people never seek help because they are embarrassed/shamed and/or think that it is normal.
BUT DON’T FRET. Vaginismus is completely “curable.” People who seek treatment have a high success rate although it may take a few weeks or sometimes years. Simply hoping for the problem to fix itself or go away will NOT work. And definitely, DEFINITELY, do NOT force yourself to have intercourse hoping that will fix it. IT WILL MAKE IT WORSE.
So if you are a virgin and think you may have Vaginismus, go seek help BEFORE you have sex so that your first time isn’t a painful experience. And if you’ve attempted sex before and have been unsuccessful then go and get help so that you can finally enjoy vaginal penetration!
If I’ve missed any important fact and you want to add to this post, feel free to reblog and add more information about Vaginismus! I’m sick and tired of people not being aware of this condition and people living their lives in pain!
And please reblog this and spread if like wildfire so that people suffering from this condition can know that they are not alone and that they don’t have to live their whole lives in pain.
It wasn’t until years after I got better that I found out this was what I had. My Gyn never told me this was a condition, or gave me any advice when I would get upset in the office, because it hurt so much and I didn’t know why. I felt very worthless, not being able to have sex, even though my boyfriend was never mean about it. No one I ever mentioned it to had ever heard of or experienced something similar. They would go “oh well he must have liked that it was tight haha” like, no my boyfriend didn’t like that I was depressed and struggling with this issue that affected my self worth so badly, or that every sexual encounter involved me crying. We had a good, consensual sex life and then suddenly I couldn’t anymore, and I didn’t know why. To see this issue get some recognition and see other people have dealt with the same thing is meaningful to me.
This is an important event in history, especially Canadian and feminist history. So I’m going to tell you more about it.
1) The shooter had been rejected from Ecole Polytechnique prior to the shooting. He blamed this on these female students, claiming that they were feminists who ruined his life.
2) In the first classroom he entered, he demanded the men leave before shooting at the women. No man attempted to stop him as they left. Take that as you will. (Later on, several men did get injured trying to stop him in the hallways.)
3) In his suicide letter, he believed that feminists were attempting to be more powerful than men, and were trying to take men’s rights away.
4) Feminists were actually blamed by some for the massacre. The line of logic was “if feminists didn’t make women’s rights an issue, Levine wouldn’t have wanted to kill feminists!” Victim blaming at its finest.
5) The mainstream news media often did not publicize the outrage from women’s groups, and often preferred those who took a calm approach. Ironic, that.
6) Despite him literally having a hit list of feminist icons in his final letter, several newscasters questioned whether or not the shooting was a sexist act, some even denying the idea outright.
8) Many memorials for the victims have been created, and rightly so; however, some prominent ones were erected in poor neighbourhoods where many Native women were killed every day in the same time period as the shooting (see: Marker of Change, Vancouver) (see: Missing Women, Vancouver). Basically, white feminism happened.
The entire event was nothing short of a tragedy, and I recommend that everyone read up on it and the resulting aftermath. It’s… interesting to see how the media tried to turn it into a random act of psychopathy instead of what it was (we know better now, luckily). The reactions (memorials, etc) to the deaths of these 14 White, middle class women as compared to the deaths of 60+ Native, lower class women are also “interesting” to compare. (By interesting, I mean infuriating.)
It’s also an important event because after it happened Canada was like “oh shit better expedite that whole gun control thing” and then did. I feel like this situation is so completely ignored when Americans talk about gun control, like the examples the American left always trot out are like “look at how well gun control works in Europe” and opponents say “well gun culture is completely different here you can’t just take them all away all of the sudden and expect that to work”. But Canada has a lot of guns AND regulates ownership to successfully cut down on gun crime, violence, and accidents. It was a pretty clear line of “this is a problem that requires legislation” and the necessary change was made. People grumbled a lot, but the shift happened.