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About Varied / Student Member i perfer to remain anonymousFemale/United States Group :iconthe-smexy-slender: The-Smexy-Slender
Don't take the rose...
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I feel like selling my talents and am looking for requests in the $5-$25 range through paypal
Anyone interested?

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so basically as a thought experiment, Ive been thinking about a hypothetical "tenth class" for tf2 and going over what sort of traits they would have and how they would function in gameplay.
now as i said, this is all just for fun, i realize that the team is pretty much perfectly balanced and there isn't really much need for a tenth class.
and furthermore, my option for a tenth class is bound to have some issues with it, which i would happily discuss with whoever should choose to do so.

For now, the description is almost strictly gameplay based, and while I am probably going to be coming out with some concept art in the near future, I could defiantly use some help in fleshing her out as a character, both visually and personality wise.


Class name:
So far best Ive come up with it “The Orbiter”, but I'm trying to find a better one. Something that makes it clear this class is meant to tag along with and augment the other classes during battle.

Is a support class

Appearance:
A very short agile woman, probably of South American/Spanish decent, she would be physically the smallest of all the classes by a long shot, with the least amount of health because of this. But she is also the second fastest of the classes, able to catch up to and keep up with all other classes but the Scout.

The most overt of the mechanics I’m looking to work with for this character is with her short stature, in what is essentially an attempt to try to do the "Oddjob" character right.
For all those video game buffs out there, you would probably remember the infamous Oddjob character class from 007 goldeneye game on the Nintendo 64, which had an unfair advantage over all the other characters in the games multiplayer due to the characters short stature, which made it much more difficult to aim at and shoot those playing as Oddjob.
For this character, playstyle is made with the expectation that players will take advantage of the class being a physically smaller, and harder to hit target than all the other classes, without it being done in a game breaking way.
Though that is certainly not her only benefit.


Weapons:
Unlike all the other classes, this class would only have 2 default weapons, a small machine gun type weapon (something with a high rate of fire and quite a bit of ammo), and a close combat weapon that typically focuses on doing bleeding damage.
However, despite this limitation, the class makes up for it, because the orbiter’s main weapons skills are dual wielding, and secondary weapon borrowing from the other classes.

In other words, when acting as support for another class, she is able to take and use any of that classes secondary weapons to fill her missing 3rd weapon slot, and so long as that weapon is one handed, she can use it at the same time as her default machine gun.

one handed weapons she’s capable of dual wielding include
pistols, bat’s, submachineguns, knives, one handed sword based weapons(typically replace snipers kukri), wrenches, frying pans, syringe launchers, revolvers, shovel’s, jarate, bonesaws, bottles of scrumpy, flare guns, etc.
Two handed weapons that cannot be dual wielded but can still be used include
shotguns, axes, longswords, boxing gloves, crossbows, sledgehammers, etc.


Some interesting effects of this weapon swapping include
-using a medics own crusaders crossbow on the medic to heal them, or using the ubersaw to help fill up the medics ubercharge faster
- borrowing a pyros axe to run up and smack on fire enemies attempting to make their retreat, taking advantage of her greater speed
- is fully capable of backstabbing opponents with the spy's borrowed knives
-if a weapon causes an increase in movement speed when held, then her holding the weapon is enough to grant them both the perk (this is to make sure she can always keep up)
-can continue to use a borrowed weapon for about  10-30 seconds after the death of whoever it was borrowed from, depending on what works best within gameplay.

Limitations include
-cannot borrow passive items such as the snipers razorback, the spy's cloaking watch, or the engineers items such as the wrangler or pda.
-cannot borrow a spy’s sapper
-she cannot borrow any weapons being actively equipped by a player, only unequipped items.
-items can only be borrowed up to a certain distance, after which the weapon will be returned to the player automatically.
-there is a slightly longer delay for the player to switch their weapons if that weapon is currently being borrowed by an orbiter, although this effect can be lessened with weapons made to decrease weapon swap tine. But even then, a weapon cannot be returned if the orbiter is actively in the middle of using it, for instance in mid swing of an axe, or while a gun is being fired.
-weapons can be returned over a distance, but in order to borrow them initially the orbiter needs to get in close to the other teammate.
-orbiters cannot borrow weapons from each other, this including weapon’s they are actively borrowing.
- orbiters cannot borrow a classes major weapon/s if the weapon is "too large". for instance, cannot borrow flamethrower's, mediguns, heavy's miniguns, rocket launchers, sniper rifles, and such, with the class with the most unusable weapons being the demoman, being unable to use both the grenade launcher and the sticky launcher, along with the chargin targe as it counts as a passive item. Although she can technically use weapons such as the eyelander, to some pretty comedic effect to see this tiny woman holding a massive sword.
-borrowed items can be reloaded by her, but only if she reaches an ammo crate/dispenser/weapons locker while holding the weapon, otherwise she will use the ammo directly from the class she's borrowing the weapon from, rather than from her own ammo stockpile. On the flipside of this though, if she does manage to find ammo to reload the weapon, the extra ammo goes to the player being assisted when the weapon is returned, meaning orbiters can be used to pick up ammunition for the players they assist.




Orbiter class special ability: tag along

When within range to make physical contact with another player of a non-orbiter class, an orbiter gets the option to tag along with that player. For the orbiter, this could be described as being similar to “getting in a vehicle” to varying degrees, with the effect’s being different depending on the class the orbiters tagging along with.
For instance, with classes like the medic, engineer, spy, scout, pyro, and sniper, this causes her to move in lock step with the other player, only being able to move within an arm’s length of the other class, but otherwise automatically moving along with them to follow close behind or beside the other player.

Certain classes then have a number of secondary effects granted to the orbiter when tagging along. For instance, tagging along with a medic grants an orbiter the same passive healing as the medic does.
With the spy, the class with arguably the most benefits for tagging along, this allows her to share in the spys cloaking, with her attacking during the cloak only causing her to become visible rather than both her and the spy, and to a small extent his disguise kit, as her team colors and displayed name will change depending on whichever team the spy is disguised as, though her class will remain as an orbiter.
This makes the spy great for smuggling orbiters behind enemy lines or past enemy sentries, especially as having a tagged along orbiter does not make a cloak drain any faster, and can even be used to extend cloak time by getting the orbiter to backstab enemies for the spy, as having an orbiter attacking during a cloak will only decloak her with a small decrease in the overall cloak time, not the both of them.
Although certain specialty cloaks like the deadringer do not effect tagged along orbiters.

For sniper, the effect is a bit tricky, and im questioning if it could be included at all, but the intention is that she would act as a spotter for any sniper she tags along with, allowing the sniper to remain in scope for longer as she points out visible enemies on the battlefield.

For tagging along with a pyro, orbiters get a greatly reduced, almost nonexistent afterburn time, mostly to help make up for the fact that a tagged along orbiter is usually standing a bit too close for a pyro to effectively extinguish  with an airblast. But strategically, this makes a good alternative for on fire orbiters to use in a pinch if there isn’t a puddle of water or a medkit nearby, especially since their small heath pool makes them very susceptible to dying from afterburn.

Scout and Engineer provide no such benefits.

With Scout, the ability in general is pretty much entirely useless, as she does not have the speed necessary to keep up with the scout unless the class is under the effect of any speed reducing debuffs, nor can she jump as high, and since the ability requires close proximity to the other classes, even weapon borrowing becomes very difficult and short lived when dealing with a scout.
Although with Engineer’s, there are two slight advantages she can provide, first off is the ability to climb on top of a dispenser, which gives her quicker healing, giving both her and the dispenser a slightly greater shared health pool, and quickly replenishes her ammo, essentially giving her the ability to turn any dispenser into a sentry in seconds.
Placing a sapper on one of these dispensers will cause her to jump off it automatically, in addition to making her take a bit of damage from the shock. She will also hop off automatically if an engineer starts upgrading the dispenser.
And the second benefit, is that she can be teleported simultaneously with whoever she is tagging along with, so less time to get her out on the field.

With heavy, demoman, and soldier however, things are a little bit different.
with soldier and demoman, as they have the rocket jumping and charging ability’s, she has the ability to automatically grab onto their back and get pulled along when they pull off one of these tricks, allowing her to be rocket jumped without losing any health from the blast, or in fall damage, as well as being able to still fire her weapons in mid jump, which also makes for an effective way of smuggling orbiters behind enemy lines or onto otherwise unreachable places on a number of maps.
This can also make for some interesting strategy’s when it comes to negating the negative effects of rocket jumping, as at least one of the orbiters unlockable melee weapons is expected to be able to heal minor wounds on teammates.
Heavy has arguably the most unique of all tag along effects, and defiantly the most vehicle-like of the classes. With the heavy, an orbiter will literally hop on a heavy’s back and ride him like a living, gun wielding backpack, greatly reducing the amount of health she takes as heavy absorbs most of the damage, while still allowing the orbiter to aim and fire in nearly 360 degrees in any direction.
Savvy orbiters will usually take this as an opportunity to deter sniper fire from the heavy, scanning the area and firing at any snipers looking to headshot the slow moving heavy, as well as helping to prevent backstabs from enemy spy’s, along with any other enemies looking to take out heavy from behind.
only thing with this is that orbiters typically cannot take advantage of their dual wielding skills, as heavy’s do not have any one handed weapons for the orbiter to borrow that aren’t close combat related, and tag along orbiters can almost never land a blow with a close combat weapon when riding a heavy, limiting the orbiter to their rather weak default machinegun.

And finally, in addition to the class specific effects of tagging along, there are also some traits that are consistent across all classes.
First off, any picked up health or ammo is split about 60-40 between the class and its orbiter, essentially halving the effects of any health or ammo pickups found, making having a tagged along orbiter a potentially heavy drain on resources. This effect is also seen on the healing effects from a medic’s medigun. When healing a player with a tagged along orbiter, both classes will be healed simultaneously, but at about a 20-30% slower rate than normal.
The effects of dispensers are unchanged when having a tagged along orbiter.
However, in addition to sharing in healing during a tag along, an orbiter can also share in an ubercharge, but in this case, for zero cost to the overall ubercharge time.
I’m even considering the possibility of her having an equipable item which lengthens ubercharge time by a few seconds when tagging along.

Both the orbiter and the class it is tagging along with will have a slight decrease in the overall percent of damage taken representing the damage “shared” between the orbiter and the class it’s assisting.
The effect is typically higher for the orbiter than the other class in order to help make up for her measly health, with the effect remaining regardless of who of the pair was actually hit with a bullet or whacked in the face, as it is common practice for orbiters to use the other classes as cover during a tag along in order to avoid taking damage. In other words, you can still focus fire on the orbiter or the class being tagged along with individually, for instance, one or the other could be killed by headshot without damaging the other of the pair, but the overall damage the bullet would do would be lessened somewhat.  
This damage reducing effect of having a tagged along orbiter is consistent across all classes except for the heavy, who has a reduced version of this effect.

Leap attack
Tag along’s can be ended at any time in two ways. The first is to simply walk out of range, as one might expect.
But the second, is to use their assisting player as a springboard to launch themselves at the enemy(or to a slightly higher platform), jumping on the taller classes shoulders and then leaping forward in a single fluid movement like a tiny badass ninja or something. This is primarily a melee attack, with the sudden leap forward ending with a hard hitting blow to whoever she happens to land on.
So you have situations such as
-a midair backstab with a borrowed spy’s knife
-a midair decapitation with a borrowed eyelander
-vaulting off a pyro to bash a burning enemy’s skull in with an axe
-hitting a nasty haymaker with one of heavy’s boxing gloves

it’s a very fun tactic to pull off, and it can also have defensive uses in helping the orbiter to make a hasty retreat, such as when faced with incoming rockets fired by a sentry or soldier.

So to Summarize the Skill:

-an orbiter approaches a member of their team and initiates a tag along.
-they then pick up one of the teammates currently unequipped weapons and either continue to tag along, or take some distance from their teammate and hang around within the distance limit they can stay before the borrowed weapon is automatically returned.
-within this area, they can freely swap between whatever spare unequipped weapons the teammate has, just as their teammate can freely equip the borrowed weapon being held by the orbiter.
- they then either continue to assist the teammate, or tag along with a different teammate that passes by. Or in the case of demo or the soldier, can get left behind in a rocket jump if they aren’t actively in the tag along status, and are instead milling about in the weapon borrowing range.


Other strengths:
Orbiters naturally have a slightly quicker reload and weapon swapping speed

weaknesses:
their health bar is really dang small, and most of their strategies are based around having to work around this limitation.

orbiters are most susceptible to weapons with a wide area of effect, which can overcome their defensive capability’s they get from tagging along, particularly with the splash damage from explosives, but also weapons such as the pyros flamethrower.


Possible unlockable weapons:
I was thinking her melee weapons would often be glove based, so I have four movie reference weapons for this, with them probably sharing a certain glove-weapon based taunt.

-First would be catwoman based, with a very quick attack speed and compounding bleeding damage ability which causes the percent of damage taken from bleeding to increase with each successive hit.

-Second would be "A Nightmare on Elm Street" based, resembling Freddys signature bladed glove. Would probably be a “higher damage, lower speed” option with the regular bleeding effect

-Third would be an Avenger’s Black Widow reference, with a stun gun based glove that gives off an electric shock to whoever gets punched with it. It would probably have similar effects as the pyros neon annihilator in doing more damage to wet opponents and being good at removing enemy sappers, but may also have an effect relating to stunning opponent’s temporarily.

-lastly, would be an Arkham Asylum scarecrow based glove outfitted with hypodermic needles on the fingers. Probably be called "nightmare nurse" or something, because it’s primarily a healing assist weapon used for restoring health to teammates, with little to no offensive capability’s to be gained from using the weapon.
I’m thinking about having it have a “charge” to it that would be steadily depleted as it was used to heal people, and would have to be replenished by finding healthpacks/going to a weapons locker/waiting at a dispenser/being healed by a medic… so basically anything that restores health. It would be like the crusaders crossbow in that healing would be instantaneous upon a successful hit, rather than slowly restored like with the medigun, so it can be pretty useful in a tight spot, but its limited charge make it no substitute for a real medic.
I’m thinking maybe four charges, each healing 20% of a classes total health, or up to 80% of their health before it needs a refill.  
Also, to help prevent it from being game breaking, the limitation I mentioned earlier, in which tag along orbiters have to share in health packs and medic healing beams with their partner, this should also carry on to this weapon, meaning that it refills much slower while actively tagging along, putting an orbiter at greater risk to have to run out and refill it.
I’m also thinking it would have its own unique taunt, in which the orbiter would use it on herself to heal 40% of her health, and as such requiring two charges on the glove to pull off.

then as a gun based weapon, she would get a tomb raider inspired pair of pistols, which could be effectively dual wielded, but comes at the cost of her secondary weapon spot, meaning instead of a close combat glove weapon, she would just get another pistol, though she could still borrow weapons.


I’m also thinking, as a gag item, that she would have a plain black bowler hat she could wear, which would allow for a one hit K.O decapitation taunt in which she throws the hat like a Frisbee, using its secretly bladed edge to slice off someone’s head upon a successful hit. This would be a reference to the character Oddjob, from james bond film goldfinger, and the Nintendo 64 game 007 goldeneye.
Team Fortress 2 Tenth Class Concept - gameplay
So I'm tired, my drawing tablets broken so i cant properly draw anything, and Ive recently gotten really into the Team Fortress 2 game's surrounding content like the comics and source film maker videos and whatnot.
So instead of doing something productive, I designed a hypothetical tenth class for the game.
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Graphic design homework project by arcanineryu
Graphic design homework project
For a graphic design project at my college, the outline being that we design an icon for a company and some form of packaging for a product they would make, following a specific set of randomized guidelines withe the main theme being a randomly assigned mythological monster.

in my case the guidelines were
Monster: Black dog (a ghost dog said to be an omen of death)
random secondary theme:flowers
Tone: ironic
Required included color: yellow
Required included font: Helvetica

So after endless complaining from my instructor of my ideas for products not being ironic enough for a ghost dog symbol of incoming death, I ended up making a perfume line about it.
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hi im here to ruin everything



do u ever have that default username that you always use and if a site already has it taken youre like . speechless



when you want to draw but youre too stressed to do well on commissions and too guilt laden about the commissions thing to draw personal art so you just become an ouroboros of procrastination and anxiety


“Ignore every instinct to flee. Remember: you are a monster too”


I hate watching an episode a week, im more of a season a day kind of person.


HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS
1. WHISPER “BEEP BOOP” TO YOURSELF.
2. REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD.



do u ever look at ur friends like “ah yes i’m so glad these losers are mine”


I need a night on the town with my dangerous queer clique
I also need a dangerous queer clique


wanna hear a sad fact? the average prison meal is healthier than the average school lunch.


if you don’t respect platonic love as equal to romantic love, a million turtles will break into your house tonight and steal all your electronics


how can i be ready for future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning?


Today I saw a dude try to physically remove a teenage girl from the disabled seating on the train, complaining about his weak ankles and hypertension and how pathetic and discourteous youth were. She literally threw her prosthetic leg at him.

whining is weakness leaving the body!


how many followers do you need before people starting buying you things?


“I'm not jewish. But don't worry, all religions equally think you're an asshole. You've united us."


“Boy, I'm gonna smack you so hard, your kids'll come out behaving,”


The Scout was not known for his discipline.  In fact, 'disciplined' would never be a word used to describe him ever.


The difficulty setting on the world's way higher than you've been told, kids.

don’t forget the effort it takes for most female actors to get ready for the red carpet often entails hundreds of dollars, four or more hours, and a team of beauty professionals


Don’t go broke trying to look rich.
Act your wage.


NOTHING CHANGES when people aren't MAD


. We're the new hippies, you guys. And like it or not, hippies changed the world by being loud and stupid-looking and unafraid of looking back on their passionate big talk with regret.



The scariest thing isn't looking back and getting embarrassed that you supported some cause, the scariest thing is looking back and realizing you never got angry at all.


#competitive lightbulb replacement


when i become famous yall better not snitch on me and tell TMZ some of the weird shit i posted



Looks like he might have more of a heart than the one sitting in his fridge


to all of my underage followers with shitty parents:
i am your parent now. i love you, you are valid, i’m making lasagna for dinner and your bedtimes are never



“College kids are the absolute last people you want to mug. They’re in peak physical condition, they have no money, and most of them have such a twisted view on the value of life they would rather you shoot them than give you the $4.37 in change at the bottom of their book bag.”


"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"


Take your lumps like a mare princess twinkletoes.

   May your lipstick be the reddest and your eyeliner be symmetrical.


the difference between hearing someone say “all genders” rather than “both genders” is actually staggering


you know what i want?? a representation of the seven deadly sins where for once lust isnt the only woman and is instead a horny friendzone dudebro



Ugh. Kids these days. With their taste in things that’s different than my taste in things was when I was their age due to the ever-evolving media landscape and constantly growing range of options and things that have nothing to do with their intelligence or anything going down hill. Get off my lawn.

   My aesthetic is “would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens”

   all i want in life is to lose weight and gain money
yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money


I would like to take the time to apologise to Taylor Swift and Kristen Stewart, for believing the shit the media told me, about you.


constantly wanting to rebel but not wanting to get into trouble


i’m sorry for whatever i said that caused you to say what you just said



it's possible that the only thing between a safe ride home and spinning wildly through an intersection like a roman candle glued to a hockey puck is how much time and money your cab driver was willing to spend making sure the tires are bolted on.

  when people say  "I can’t accept you for being transgender, the bible says it’s a sin."
im like, “Oh yeah?”
 Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
“Does it say that? Does it really?”



whenever i feel like i’m being socially awkward in real life i should just remind myself that i’m every bit as awkward online and i somehow have friends

“No” does not mean “convince me”.


tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands


"If anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, please speak now." the baker stands up. he has never met the bride or groom but he must stop this wedding before anyone finds out that the cake is just some couch cushions covered in icing

   People who use “you’re adopted” as an insult are idiots. "Your parents wanted you so badly that they spent thousands of dollars to get you, went through tons of evaluations to make sure they were qualified, waited months or maybe even years for you, and so you’re now in a loving home where you are most definitely wanted and cared for."
Quoth the genius child from a post long back,
"My parents picked me.”


party at my house, bring food then leave.


   (sarcasm)So insulting. I can feel the hate.


   Expectations:Using the person next to you as a pillow.
   Reality:Using the pillow next to you as a person.



It’s strange how a website full of teenagers understand how to treat people equally better than a room full of politicians. The adults tell us to grow up yet they behave as if they were still living in the 1960s.


I don’t remember my homework but I remember Spongebob episodes because let’s face it, Spongebob is more important than homework.


getting annoyed after illegally downloading music when it turns out to be bad
#this isn’t what I didn’t pay for


If you ever feel like you’ve screwed up, just remember that in 1348 the Scots thought it would be a good idea to invade England because the English were weakened by the Plague. They subsequently caught the plague themselves, went back to Scotland, and killed half their own population.


“It isn’t normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”


"Food is always special."
-I like the way you think


we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”



do you ever finish reading a fanfic and are like ‘i want to read a fanfic of that fanfic’


My mom says that everyone has a beautiful side. So I guess I’m a circle.


makeup is SO so fun and im so excited abt makeup like. most makeup is just minerals?? colored minerals?? dirt. pretty dirt. put the dirt on your face


You are one in a million. That means there are 320 of you in the united states alone. Find yourself. Start an army. Overthrow the government of a small Midwestern town, run shit.


i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck
-“her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted


Writers are the exorcists of their own demons.


my shyness has ruined so many good opportunitys.


“Getting no message is also a message.”


“Almost everyone is overconfident—except the people who are depressed, and they tend to be realists.”


The bookstore was just robbed of 20,000 dollars. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 3 textbooks.

Headcanons on why mages don’t wear armor:
-magic and mana corrodes metal (that’s why so many rpgs have heavy plated characters weak to spells)
-armor has no pockets for potions or books or herbs or snacks
-mages read and do alchemy in tiny spaces so armor gets in the way a lot and libraries hate clanking noises
-most mages are skinny weak ass nerds do u think they can wear armor



The only kind of man who says, “Not all men are assholes,” is an asshole. If you really were a “nice guy,” you’d be saying, “Wow, lots of men are fucking assholes to women. Let’s do something to change that.”



   boys:*accidentally touches hands* NO HOMO BRO
   girls:*lifts up shirt* look how cute my bra is



   normal friends:hey i got you a birthday card, happy birthday!
   tumblr friends:hey i wrote you an erotic sex scene between your two faves, happy birthday!


i had a dream that i was walking around in a shirt with stalks of corn all over it and somebody was like “wtf are u wearing?” and i said “it’s a crop top” i laughed so hard that i woke up



   "cow milk is unnatural drink plant milk" ok… so ur saying plant milk is a natural thing


i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry


“Even at the age of 24, I’ll gladly fall in love with popular music that 12-year-olds would like, or purely-entertaining movies that 16-year-olds would like. Some will claim that it’s inappropriate for my age, but I think it’s simply that the 12-year-old me and the 16-year-old me still live on, loving those things. As long as there’s a 24-year-old me aware of that, then I don’t think there’s any problem.”



protip: if u can’t imagine urself dropping the mic after the final sentence of ur essay, ur conclusion needs to be stronger


note to self: “love yourself” does not mean spend $40 on chinese food when you’re broke
….who am i kidding yes it does. never listen to me

are any of my followers rich ?
edit: are any of my followers rich and looking for someone to spoil?


“Don’t let anyone else ruin your life. Only YOU can ruin your life. Go ruin your life. Set your house on fire.
"Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands."
"Your daily positive affirmation: today I am thankful for being alive and blessed with rows upon rows of teeth that shear right through muscle and bone."
"Conceal your dark circles. Conceal your bright chevrons and your dusky stripes. The humans must not suspect what you are."
"New research shows that ideal femininity encompasses a lamia’s beauty, a cyclops’ strength, a hydra’s deadliness, a Fury’s heartlessness, a harpy’s swiftness, and a sphinx’s love of feasting on less intelligent creatures. Be a chimera that cannot be contained!"
"Aim to be described as "inexplicably eerie," "unsettlingly off," and "I’m not sure what she looks like, I could never keep my eyes on her face long enough to see."


naturally, soildier did what any self-respecting man would have done….. he caved in

Al hail Stan.

eight stupid phychos barreled into his life with all the grace of a freight train


i don’t have a problem with school like im perfectly content with doing work and learning for 6 hours a day but my disdain arises when homework is added like its honestly so stressful and I would be much happier if I could just goto school for six hours daily and then come home and actually have time to live my life without deadlines and assignments looming over me

some carry a torch just to burn things down


Hey man, I think you’re too socially adjusted for 4chan

"are there any straight people in your story?”
"no they’re not relevant to the plot"
give a straight person one line of dialogue and call it representation
But don’t mention they’re straight, drop so little information that we’re hinted it might be, then say they’re straight in later interviews after the story is complete.
~straight subtext~


“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’
Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’”


the ocean isn’t shark infested, it’s the ocean, that’s where the sharks live. We are the ones who aren’t supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean.


i can’t wait until i’m older and have a serious relationship like think of how much fun that would be every single night would be like a sleepover with your best friend and you could make pancakes at 3 in the morning and uncontrollably snuggle when you’re bored  



i don’t want to live in a country where people believe that white pedophiles and school shooters don’t deserve to die because “it’s possible that they could change” after ruining people’s lives but a black boy’s murder is justifiable because he might have robbed a convenience store.


the odds of you existing are the same as 2 million people rolling trillion sided dice and all landing on the same number.

ideal relationship: we maintain idle conversation while playing separate video games


kinda scared for 2015 because 2+0+1+5 is 8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have had if he had 6 more nipples


   parents:"schools easy"
   me:"can you help me on this homework problem"
   parents:"idk that shit its hard lmao"


I'm not broke I'm pre rich


Why is it that when couples make a new human life, it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘miraculous,’ but when I make a new human life alone in my basement, it’s ‘a crime against nature’ and ‘morally abhorrent’?



the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five



do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man


I’m totally punk rock but like a sleepy and cuddly kind of punk rock

instead of paying women the same as men, pay men the same as women and see how angry they get


I want a regular family sitcom with cheap jokes and laughing tracks, which gradually get more and more disturbing until it turns to a psychological horror film with the laughing tracks still going


“I hate the idea of lonely. And I hate the reality of attachment.”


i feel like everyone secretly wants fingerless leather gloves


if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too.



imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off
#out of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular….




by day i am just a regular loser, by night i am the same loser only it’s nighttime



*talks about u behind ur back but in a supportive way about how cool u are and how much i love u*


   Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you! Hand over your cash motherfucker
(I got this from a children’s joke website but just added the word motherfucker at the end)


“i want to rp with you”
—  i say as i make no move to talk to you



*casually fucks up every good thing that happens to me*


caterpillar rave


I just realized that in POA not only does Snape teach about werewolves because he hopes someone notices Lupin’s lyncanthropy, but he also takes away Remus’ opportunity to teach about them as they should be, not as monsters, but as afflicted people.


Am I the only one whose internet addiction started with my parents not letting me fucking go anywhere

the best friendship’s tend to be the ones in which you can be openly weird with.



Take any movie premise about a white man and make it about a grandma and it becomes twice as interesting


Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.
-Electrons
I should kick your ass.

im the kinda person who will trip over a dog and apologize to it.



Everyone has good days and bad days, but mine are more like good hours and bad years.


You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.
(keep this mindset, and trust me, you’ll feel so much better about yourself)


don’t forget, evil is relatively rare, but ignorance is epidemic.

I love The Sims because it’s basically just a bunch of pansexual people speaking gibberish and setting their houses on fire.


I think my favorite thing about this generation is how seriously everyone takes their Hogwarts house.


tony stark designing tiny arc reactors to power clint’s hearing aids because everyone’s fucking sick of clint not bringing back up batteries when his hearing aids die during a mission
#like here now youre hearing aids wont die what do YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT YOUR HEARNG AIDS



   If I’ve ever called you
Nerd
nerdlord
wow what a dweeb
dweebasaurus rex
meme squad
gay as heckie
fuckin weeb
its a clear sign that there’s a place deep in my heart for u


four eyes, zero soul


Muggleborns accidently calling Dumbledore “Gandalf”
Or alternatively Muggleborns purposely calling Dumbledore “Gandalf” and then Dumbledore looks them dead  in the eyes and says “call me that one more time and you shall not pass”.

old golden retrievers are one of the purest forces of good on this planet


Add a touch of life to your outfit by tying your hair back with a very tiny snake.


“If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.”


“It seems that when you want to make a woman into a hero, you hurt her first. When you want to make a man into a hero, you hurt… also a woman first.”


please stop adding ‘there are two kinds of people’ and ‘that escalated quickly’ to text posts
-there are two kinds of rapid escalation
-well that peopled twicely

sunshine all the time creates a desert.


This is one of those milestones humanity is gonna look back at and be like “we shoulda never given the robots swords”


I don’t get help because I am the helper.


for somone with such an intense need to be liked you’d think I would have figured out how to be less of an asshole.


english is not their first language:Hello! I'm sorry if my English isn't very good.
english is their first language:hte fuckign



I don’t understand why books have shifted from having summaries on the back of the covers to having one-line reviews.
Seriously though. I want to know what the book is about. Not that someone from the Evening Standard thinks it’s a masterpiece.

stop idolizing pasty white lizard men 2k14
-your url is a derivative of david bowie the ultimate pasty white lizard man
i was going to try and respond to this but you know what????? he is. i fucked up. i fucked up.


In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.



good people bring you happiness, bad people bring you experience.


i’m very bad at friendships but i want to friendship with everyone

THINK ABOUT HOW MANY PUPPIES WILL GET TO EXPERIENCE SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WINTER. PUPPIES. CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THEIR FEET ARE COLD. CONFUSED ABOUT THIS FLUFFY STUFF. GOTTA BITE IT. GOTTA ROLL IN IT.


50s sci-fi:ROCKETS AND ROBOTS YAAAY
• 60s sci-fi:the other planets are full of hot babes and killer monsters
• 70s sci-fi:what if WE'RE THE REAL ALIENS MAN
• 80s sci-fi:everything is cool and chrome allllllright
• 90s sci-fi:the future is DARK and EDGY and EVERYONE'S WEARING A TRENCHCOAT
• 00s sci-fi:robots are people too
• sci-fi now:yeah it pretty much looks like an apple store and the apocalypse probably happened



My math binders are always red every year I feel like math is just a red subject
-Math is a blue subject and I’m prepared to fight you over this


bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes


relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead

just hear me out
genderfluid superheroes
they fight crime as one gender and go day-by-day as the other thEYD NEVER GET CAUGHT NOBODY WOULD SUSPECT THEM ITS GENIUS



Why are shorts called shorts but pants arent called longs
-she wears short shorts I wear long longs
-she’s cheer cheerer and i’m on the sit sits



my little brother whos 7 was saying girls can’t be scientists and my little sister whos 5 looked at him offended and said “princess bubblegum is a girl and shes a scientist, jonny!” and he said “oh yeah…ok nvm” and they continued eating breakfast like nothing. THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT GUYS!!!!!!!


   grandma:you're 17? you're getting old aren't ya!
   me:grandma you're like 80



im really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time

"I sort of implied he’s working for Satan or whatever"



“Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing.”

our society is so structured on binaries that people think cats are the opposite of dogs



whenever i need a laugh i remember that if he hadn’t died james potter would have been dudley’s uncle. picture james interacting with dudley. just do it, picture the scene


can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m covered in tattoos, working my dream job, traveling, and married to the girl I love?

• It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.
-same goes for students at schools


stressed, depressed, not even well dressed


staring intently into each other’s souls and making fart jokes telepathically



student:can i borrow a pencil
• teacher:i don't know, CAN you?
• student:yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious



you know what’s really odd?
-numbers not divisible by 2
…That joke was so bad i can’t even


• dog person:we have a purebred border collie with a bernese twist
• cat person:this is rita we love her she's orange

Wearing eyeliner doesn’t make you “girly” or “gay” a lot of girls actually find it attractive. If you wanna put concealer on that pimple go ahead. It doesn’t make you less of a man. Makeup is not intrinsically feminine. Don’t let society’s screwed up gender roles stop you from expressing yourself.



Reciprocal liking is a psychological term to describe the phenomenon of people tending to better like those people who like them. It reflects the notion that people feel better about themselves knowing that they are likable and enjoy the company of those who give them positive feelings. Reciprocal liking is considered a significant factor in the formation of many friendships and interpersonal attraction.



We call ships ‘she.’ We call our war machines ‘women.’ We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever the hell I want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down-play my power.


destroy the idea that biological families are more valid than other forms of family. destroy the idea that your parents/sibilings/extended relatives have an inherent right to be a part of your life if you dont want them to be


Tumblr: the home of the world’s sluttiest virgin’s


i actually love meme culture because it throws advertisers for such a loop they try so desperately appeal to the youth but the youth moves on to something like 2 weeks later and remembers the other thing as an embarrassing part of their past


Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
-Yeah, I’ve noticed quite the spark between them. There’s even been a rumor going around that they’ve screwed.
YOU


white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english*


"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like your parents did



I don’t read as much as I used to. I don’t draw as much as I used to.
I don’t even play video games as much as I used to.
I have no idea what I do.


I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade

   If someone points at your black clothes and asks you whose funeral is it, a look around the room and a casual “haven’t decided yet” is always a good response.


my body is a temple, but it’s a temple to Dionysus



“This isn’t your typical love story…” opens the trailer for a movie about a white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, middle class, and likely loosely Christian couple who find each other through serendipity and a very small amount of actual work.
#ahah my friend i think you’re confused #you see one of them doesn’t BELIEVE in love


Fun fact: since there is no canonically physical Cecil, you are never and always cosplaying him, you’re just not always aware of it.#shrodinger’s cosplay



i’m that friend that has to walk behind the group when the path isn’t big enough. i’m that friend that gets cut off in the conversation. i’m that friend that gets left behind when i asked for them to wait for me. i’m that friend that doesn’t get invited to hang out alot. i’m that friend that if i want to go to the mall or some place with a friend i have to be the one to invite people to make sure i get included. i’ll always be that friend.


When students cheat on exams, it’s because the school system values grades more than learning.


Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive


“forced" being one of the less preferred verbs to use when encouraging someone to love something.

   I just realized that it’ll be the 20’s again in less than six years. I propose we bring back swing music and jazz attire.
#As long as we don’t have to bring back crippling economic depression and staggering wealth disparity between the haves and have-nots#oh wait

nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
-when i was a small child i carried around a little tiny pumpkin in my pockets for months
-i retract my original statement. that is fair and important


white masculinity is so garbage they count moisturizing their skin as feminine


“If you are not ready for her to call you at 3 AM freaking out, if you cannot handle her at her worst, if you only crave for her curves and not her mind, if you cannot deal with her mood swings and if you want her just for sex stay the fuck away.”

"Why do you flinch so hard?" Maybe there was a time when someone wasn’t kidding when they swung at me.
-yup. right up there with “why do you get so panicky when people raise their voice?” males particularly.


ive been alive for more than 2 decades but i always get surprised that it gets cold every year like literally every year this happens and i can’t believe that i can’t believe it gets this cold


why is it when a father kills his daughter’s rapist everyone sympathises and praises him but when the daughter kills the rapist herself she’s gone too far and now she’s the same if not worse than him… i’m joking i know why, we all know why


“What I remember most about emotional abuse is that it’s like being put in a box. How you end up in there is the biggest trick – I never managed to work that one out. Maybe you think it’s a treasure box at first: you’re in there because you’re special. Soon the box starts to shrink. Every time you touch the edges there is an “argument”. So you try to make yourself fit. You curl up, become smaller, quieter, remove the excessive, offensive parts of your personality – you begin to notice lots of these. You eliminate people and interests, change your behaviour. But still the box gets smaller. You think it’s your fault. The terrible, unforgivable too-muchness of you is to blame. You don’t realise that the box is shrinking, or who is making it smaller. You don’t yet understand that you will never, ever be tiny enough to fit, or silent enough to avoid a row.”


Some of the best memories I have were the ones that I made up in my mind.


tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS
-Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.


Hades was the least evil entity in the entire Greek pantheon. Just look at the punishments.
Pushing a rock uphill forever, Have venom slowly dripping on your face for eternity, have a bird eat your liver alive every day, that’s all Zeus.
Hades’ punishments were like ‘solve this million piece puzzle or whatever’


it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks


   me:i fuckin love school learning man this is where im meant to be
   professor: reminder that your paper is due next class
   me:im dropping out


Because even American Horror Story knows that murderous, bloody clowns aren’t as scary and dangerous as rich white boys.


“If someone were to die at the age of 63 after a lifelong battle with MS or Sickle Cell, we’d all say they were a “fighter” or an “inspiration.” But when someone dies after a lifelong battle with severe mental illness and drug addiction, we say it was a tragedy and tell everyone “don’t be like him, please seek help.” That’s bullshit. Robin Williams sought help his entire life. He saw a psychiatrist. He quit drinking. He went to rehab. He did this for decades. That’s HOW he made it to 63. For some people, 63 is a fucking miracle. I know several people who didn’t make it past 23 and I’d do anything to have 40 more years with them.”


i really don’t understand why there’s a debate on whether catcalling is flattering or not??? women don’t think it’s flattering. end of story. the fact that there are men that think they can decide how women feel about something is the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard?


sexualities as doors
heterosexual:door swings one way
homosexual:door swings the other way
bisexual:door swings both ways
pansexual:revolving door
demisexual:door is locked
asexual:door is actually a wall


there’s this one girl at school who sends a mass text to the whole year group whenever she sees a dog so that we can go pat it too if we’re nearby and I have petted at least five dogs because of her that I wouldn’t have otherwise and idk I hope you all have someone like her in your lives


*sleigh bells jingle ominously in the distance*


Before I had kids, I had no idea it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.



of course sam let steve come in what else are you supposed to do when you have a sad dirty 95 year old golden retriever at your door



A hydra is a snake right? So basically Nick fury is trying to get hydra off the helicarrier right? Does that mean he’s trying to get those motherfucking snakes off his motherfucking plane?
#I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE #THAT IT HAS BEEN NEARLY TWO MONTHS #AND THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I’VE SEEN ANYONE MAKE THIS JOKE #FOR THE LOVE OF GOD #I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN TWO MONTHS AND *I* DIDN’T MAKE THIS JOKE #I’M DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF US #cap 2 (x)



dear men against abortion rights.
“Don’t like abortion? Get a vasectomy!”
(or in other words male sterilization)


"I don’t understand bisexuality, I don’t think it exists"
well I don’t understand physics but you don’t see me floating off into space because gravity no longer applies to me

if a roleplayer prefers writing smut over angst does that mean that they
write sins not tragedies

(on poster about tf2’s scout)The pitiful child-man
the missing link, between man and child!

the jabberwocky poem warned us to watch out for the frumious Bandersnatch yet he still has millions of fangirls

elementary school was like “hell yeah”. middle school was like “hell no”. and high school. high school is just “hell”
and then college is just “what the hell”

pronoia, the suspicion that everyone is trying to help you.

Don’t you dare
Shrink yourself
For someone else’s comfort -
Do not become small
For people who refuse to grow.


Hannibal is a gothic horror show about control, perception, abuse, mental illness and disability, the institution of psychiatry, and vengeance, frequently featuring terrifying scenes of violence and gore
and the fandom is comprised of teenage girls bedecking everyone in flowers and making cheesy puns
is this the actual reverse of the brony fandom


racist against white people jokes:
“Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.”


several months ago we had a cat with mysterious skin allergies that we couldn’t find the cause of. he was adopted as a “special needs” cat with the adopters understanding the circumstances
we just got an update and they had decided to get him a full allergy panel to find out what he’s allergic to
it’s people.
the cat is allergic to human dander.


we do not know enough about the subject to mock it, but rest assured, we will get there eventually.


we’ll stop beating this dead horse when it stops spitting out money.


if you think embarrassing shy people on purpose is funny please do yourself a favor and shove a truck up your ass


sometimes haters gonna make a valid point


sometimes i forget that danny devito isn’t just an abstract concept


the secret to losing followers is being yourself



Today’s Gender of the day is: Rocket Pineapples


you can tell how boring someone is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through their phone


do not bully superwholocks because they will make you die from secondhand embarassment

We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.
"I don’t want my ears pierced."
"I don’t want any earrings."
The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.
She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”
Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’
We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.
Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’
Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.
Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.
No means no, yeah, right.
Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”


stage 1 of friendship: what’s up ily so much!
stage 2 of friendship: oh god i hope i’m not being too clingy or bothering them
stage 3 of friendship: hey dickhead fucking answer me
Stage 4 of friendship: im outside your house and im coming in



how can you complain about “mary sue” characters when 90% of mainstream male characters are perfect strong heroes who save the day and “get the girl” but you can’t let a female character be the same without being mocked or having something fucking horrible happen to her you whiny fucking babies


“High School Musical" was just the working title for the film while a better name was thought up. However, by the time post-production came, a better name had not been thought of so the producers unwillingly went for "High School Musical”.



do not waste your emotional capacities on people whose respect for you is conditional
shouldn’t matter if you don’t love them anymore or they don’t love you anymore, they should still respect you, and you them.

Money can buy
• Independence and safety (not having to rely on abusive ppl, getting to control how you spend your time and money)
• Experiences (travel, events, vacations, entertainment)
• Health (medical care duh, good food, good location, reduced stress)
• Opportunity (car, being able to move, having a safety net, “looking professional”)
• Confidence (clothes that make you look good, things that make you feel good)
I dunno that seems a lot like happiness


If you like girls who look like they haven’t slept in days, are self destructive, and wear baggy tees and underwear 99% of the time, holla at me.


that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery
I think I’m having a midlife crisis
-but your 21?
I might die at 42.


game where the protagonist’s wife gets killed and he is thus motivated to swear vengeance out of grief, but he’s so useless at getting revenge that his wife comes back as a ghost and goes “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” and possesses his body to do her own dang avenging


WHY is Hinduism labelled as “mythology?”but Jesus can walk on water, heal people like some konoha medical ninja, and come back to life but OUR Gods and Goddesses are “myths”??????????

   for those who dont understand, heteronormativity and cisnormativity are the reason queer people have to come out. we are automatically assumed cis and straight unless we explicitly say otherwise, which shouldn’t happen. no one should be assumed anything until they explicitly say otherwise. it also makes being queer seen as alien and unnatural.
there you go there’s your crash course on hetero/cisnormativity



“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do.’ Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time.’

“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle … ‘Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went ‘KFHGSKG’ and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!’ If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz.’

The world spent $1735 billion on war in 2012
It would cost approximately $135 billion to completely eradicate poverty.
Isn’t that a shocking example of how thing are prioritised globally



i hate when people complain about how technology is “ruining everything.” i have over 200 pictures of my dog on my phone and i can send them to my friends when they are sad. how is that ruining anything. why do you hate happiness?


imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow




   Stages of Deterioration in the Human Body (important reference for writers)


   The Moment Of Death:
   1. The heart stops.
   2. The skin gets tight and ashen in color.
   3. All the muscles relax.
   4. The bladder and bowels empty.
   5. The body temperature begins to drop 1 1/2 degrees Fahrenheit per hour.

   After 30 minutes:
   6. The skin gets purple and waxy.
   7. The lips, fingernails, and toenails fade to a pale color.
   8. Blood pools at the bottom of the body.
   9. The hands and feet turn blue.
   10. The eyes sink into the skull.

   After 4 hours:
   11. Rigor mortis has set in.
   12. The purpling of the skin and the pooling of the blood continue.
   13. Rigor continues to tighten muscles for another 24 hours or so.

   After 12 hours:
   14. The body is in full rigor mortis.

   After 24 hours:
   15. The body is now the temperature of the surrounding environment.
   16. In males, the semen dies.
   17. The head and neck are now a greenish-blue color.
   18. The greenish-blue color spreads to the rest of the body.
   19. There is a pervasive smell of rotting meat.

   After 3 days:
   20. The gas in the body tissues forms large blisters on the skin.
   21. The whole body begins to bloat and swell grotesquely.
   22. Fluids leak from the mouth, nose, vagina, and rectum.

   After 3 weeks:
   23. The skin, hair, and nails are so loose they can easily be pulled off the corpse.
   24. The skin bursts open on many places on the body.
   25. Decomposition will continue until the body is nothing but skelital remains, a process that can take a month or so in hot climates, and two months or more in cold climates.



This man was reported dead after he drowned in pussy that night


Feminism is hated because women are hated. Anti-feminism is a direct expression of misogyny; It is the political defense of women hating.”

as a skinny person, you are catered to and you don’t even realize it. did you ask for that? no and i understand that. but you will never cry your eyes out in a dressing room because even the largest size doesn’t fit. you will never deal with rejection from a guy solely because of your weight. you are socially accepted.

is any kind of body shaming disgusting? yes. but please don’t act like you’d rather be fat.


rape culture is real, you can find your proof in the insatiable hunger that exists for non-consensual female nudity, and the derision for voluntary female nudity.


“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”


It’s funny, if you ask a Republican in Congress if they believe in climate change, they say, well, uh, I’m not a scientist. “I’m not a scientist” — that’s what they say. But when it comes to a woman’s right to choose, suddenly they’re a doctor.


    I just don’t understand where this concept of ‘fake geek girls’ came from. Like, AT ALL.
Cus when I look for fandom related stuff like 90% of the fan art and the fanfiction and the meta, zines, comics, etc. Like 90% of the shit that I’ve seen is created by women & girls.
And all that stuff take’s a lot of work and research and critical analysis and staring at reference photos for hours.
We are literally the most well versed and invested group in the fandom. So, like, What the fuck boys? You mad you can’t keep up?

-I saw an argument, and I can’t find it now, but it totally made sense, that there’s a gender split in fandom. Male fandom tends to be a curator fandom; male fandom collects, organizes, and memorizes facts and figures. Male fandom tends to be KEEPERS of the canon; the fandom places great weight on those who have the biggest collection, the deepest knowledge of obscure subjects, the first appearances, creators, character interactions.
Female fandom is creative. Females create fanart, cosplay, fanwritings. Female fandom ALTERS canon, for the simple reason that canon does not serve female fandom. In order for it to fit the ‘outsider’ (female, queer, POC), the canon must be attacked and rebuilt, and that takes creation.
"Male" fandom devalues this contribution to fandom, because it is not the ‘right’ kind of fandom. "Girls only cosplay for attention, they’re not REAL fans!" "Fanfiction is full of stupid Mary Sues, girls only do it so they can make out with the main character!" "I, a male artist, have done this pin-up work and can put it in my portfolio! You, a female artist, have drawn stupid fanart, and it’s not appropriate to use as a professional reference!"
In the mind of people who decry the ‘fake geek girl,’ this fandom is not as worthy. It damages, or in their mind, destroys the canon. What is the point of memorizing every possible romantic entanglement of heterosexual white Danny Rand if someone turns around and creates a fanwork depicting him as a bisexual female of Asian descent (thus subverting Rand’s creepy ‘white savior’ origins)? When Danny Rand becomes Dani Rand, their power is lessened. What is important to them ceases to be the focus of the discussion. Creation and curatorship can work in tandom, but typically, in fandom, they are on opposite poles.
This is not to say that there aren’t brilliant male cosplayers or smashing female trivia experts, this is to say that the need of the individual fan is met with opposing concepts: In order for me to find myself in comics, I need to make that space for myself, and that is a creative force. Het white cis males are more likely to do anything possible to defend and preserve the canon because the canon is built to cater to them.
I want to point out tho that even in the rare situations where canon is for women, like Sailor Moon or My Little Pony, women and men still generally fall into their regular fandom patterns: women collaborate, re-imagine, and create, while men collect, protect, and compete.  
That being said, bronies—for all their sins—are actually a remarkably creative male group compared to, say, male batman fans. They create a hell of a lot of erotica, plushies, costumes, fanfic, fanart, games, songs, etc. Maybe it’s because they’re not being catered to, maybe it’s because they learned from the initially large amount of female fans, maybe both? It’s really interesting.



I’m sorry, but if lesbians can control themselves in a girls only changing room with ass naked woman waltzing around. Then I figure men should be able to control them selves with clothed girls walking down the street. Just a thought.







Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions. Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.
In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:
“The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.”
In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts.”


the stereotype that women talk more than men is infinitely amusing to me because men are literally incapable of shutting the fuck up


“Why for example, does a twenty-two-year-old man pursue a sixteen-year-old adolescent? Because he is stimulated by her? Obviously not. They are at completely different developmental points in life with a dramatic imbalance in their levels of knowledge and experience. He is attracted to power and seeks a partner who will look up to him with awe and allow him to lead her. Of course, he usually tells her the opposite, insisting that he wants to be with her because of how unusually mature and sophisticated she is for her age. He may even compliment her on her sexual prowess and say how much power she has over him, setting up the young victim so that she won’t recognize what is happening to her. Even without a chronological age difference, some abusive men are drawn to women who have less life experience, knowledge, or self-confidence, and who will look up to the man as a teacher or mentor.”



u kno how when u were a kid u could ride in the car and be totally unaware of anything goin on around the car and just be chill
but then u took driver’s ed and u started learning all the rules and now even if ur just in the passenger seat u can’t help noticing all the shitty things ppl do on the road?
that’s what social justice is like



There are no Commandments in art and no easy axioms for art appreciation. “Do I like this?” is the question anyone should ask themselves at the moment of confrontation with the picture. But if “yes,” why “yes”? and if “no,” why “no”? The obvious direct emotional response is never simple, and ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the “yes” or “no” has nothing at all to do with the picture in its own right.
“I don’t understand this poem”
“I never listen to classical music”
“I don’t like this picture”
are common enough statements but not ones that tell us anything about books, painting, or music. They are statements that tell us something about the speaker. That should be obvious, but in fact, such statements are offered as criticisms of art, as evidence against, not least because the ignorant, the lazy, or the plain confused are not likely to want to admit themselves as such. We hear a lot about the arrogance of the artist but nothing about the arrogance of the audience. The audience, who have not done the work, who have not taken any risks, whose life and livelihood are not bound up at every moment with what they are making, who have given no thought to the medium or the method, will glance up, flick through, chatter over the opening chords, then snap their fingers and walk away like some monstrous Roman tyrant.




In case you still don’t understand how badly women have had it, when anaesthetic was first invented doctors weren’t allowed to give it to women who were giving birth because the church said that the pain of childbirth was God punishing women for not being men



if you couldn’t SEE how fucked up this is, let me put this into even more perspective for you.

a male with no high school education still makes more than a female with 9th-12th grade education (no diploma).

a male who is a high school graduate still makes more than a female with an associate’s degree.

a male with a bachelor’s degree only makes about ~$2000 less than a female with a fucking doctorate’s degree.

tell me again why feminism isn’t important.

and then men love to throw that “omg there are more women than men getting degrees!” factoid as proof of misandry rather than the truth that women need those degrees more to earn a living



   Coworker:You guys are so dramatic, not all men are evil and shit.
   Me:.... I know that, intellectually. Emotionally I'm not that clear.
   Cowoker:Ah?
   Me:Let me put it this way. You know that if a skinny, rather short guy like you goes to jail, he's rather likely to be raped, right?
   Cowoker:Yes.
   Me:So let's suppose you go to jail for something rather harmless, something that harmed no one, like... ar... selling bootleg DVDs or something like that. Something that would keep you inside for a year or so.
   Cowoker:Okay?
   Me:So you go to jail and you know that people get raped in there. Yet you intellectually know it's impossible that all inmates are gay and sexually interested in you, it's statistically impossible. Right?
   Cowoker:Right.
   Me:But you'd still be scared, wouldn't you? I mean you know not all of them are out to get you, but you know some might and you can't tell who it would be. And yet you are forced to spend all your time with them, to share your space with them, and you know you might look at that ONE guy who could and would want to rape you. It would be ridiculously scary, right?
   Cowoker:O__o it would.
   Me:....... well, that's how women feel every day, all the time. We know not all men are out to rape us, most would never dare do something like that, but we know there are some out there who would, gladly at that, and we can't tell them appart on sight alone. Also we feel like the short, skinny kid who did nothing really bad in jail, we know anyone can bring us down with a single punch.
   Cowoker:...... O___O
   Me:... so that girl who glares at you in the subway, she is not thinking you are a horrible man that deserves to die, she is trying to find out whether you are part of the small percentage of men out there who can and want to do her harm. You all should wear labels by the way, it would make communication so much easier.
   Cowoker:........ that's fucking horrible.
   Me:I know, right?



“My daughter has not seen her biological dad since she was four. She’s 11 now. When she was two he contacted me and asked if I would allow him to terminate his parental rights so he could stop paying child support and I agreed.. I wanted to spare her the heartache of a revolving door father and the sacrifice of the financial support was well worth him never being able to disappoint her again. I never lied to her about where he went or who her dad was.. I have always answered her questions in the most age appropriate way possible. When she was four he contacted me and told me he has been diagnosed with cancer and would like to see her. I set aside a day and we met in the park. He had asked for two hours. He stayed 20 minutes and we never heard from him again.. Over the summer we ran into somebody that knows him and they commented on how she looks like his other children. They elaborated that he has settled down and has a family now. My stomach tied itself in knots thinking of how hurtful that must be to my daughter.. I cut the conversation short and we got in the car to leave and that’s when I saw her smiling. She said “mom.. He figured out how to be a dad. That’s such a nice thing. I’m happy for his kids.” And that’s the day an 11 year old taught me all I need to know about forgiveness”



A memorial erected in Vancouver sparked controversy because it was dedicated to “all women murdered by men”, which critics say implies all men are potential murderers. As a result, women involved in the project received death threats


“Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”


so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”


i don’t know about you but i aim to make 2015 as gay as possible
Pyro Doodle Pencils by arcanineryu
Pyro Doodle Pencils
doodle of my favorite TF2 character. I'll probably fix it up and color it in later, but for now my tablets broke, so while exams are finally over and I can actually start making art again, you're probably only gonna be seeing a bunch of pencil sketches
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arcanineryu
i perfer to remain anonymous
Artist | Student | Varied
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i'm an art college student working to try and get into the entertainment industry somehow, either in movies, tv, animation, comics, or videogames. mostly i want to be one of those people who you could see in the credits of some grand piece of entertainment media if you happened to pause at the right moment. to just give a worthwhile contribution so some big popular project that i could be proud of.
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Comments


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:iconcutewerewolfgirl:
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
OK I get it now thanks :)
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:iconvanessathesbald:
VanessaThesbald Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014  New member Student Digital Artist
Awesome work ^_^
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:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you :meow:
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:iconvanessathesbald:
VanessaThesbald Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2014  New member Student Digital Artist
Your welcome. ^3^
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:iconashlee264:
ashlee264 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hiya!

I just wanted to say your art is very cool and awesome!

AND OFFENDER.

What? I said nothing. :D

Your art rocks! So cool!
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:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you :meow:
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:iconashlee264:
ashlee264 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, your welcome!

I likes Offender.. :meow:
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:iconcutewerewolfgirl:
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Hey Arc, I hope I wasn't a pest on tumblr before,
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:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Student General Artist
nah, your fine. my tumblr activity really comes down short periods in-between homework and such whenever i find a good response to something. lot of the time this ends up being around 1-2 in the morning, so i rarely end up responding to much regardless of how much i get.
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:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Student General Artist
Gone are the days when you could just throw a white sheet over your head and go as the ghost of someone who got strangled in a load of laundry.


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