“You don’t have to like me. But you’re going to respect me.”
“There are many degrees of madness. Philosophy, Psychology, and Literature are to name but a few.”
Plot twist: they’re not attention seeking, they’re support seeking. Because they’re going through a really rough time right now and can really use some help.
“a female led superhero movie wouldn’t grab anybody’s attention” i cried over a raccoon and a tree give me my black widow movie
plotiest plot twist to ever bend
"Interfere with love lives" more like "Don't make me evaluate why I prize my 'right' to emotionally manipulate another person for my own benefit"
Don’t date men who disrespect women, doesn’t matter if he’s nice to you. If he’s constantly disrespecting other women, nah. If he’s constantly disrespecting other women, he’ll get around to you sooner or later.
“We are told frequently that women are more intuitive, more empathetic, more innately willing and able to offer succor and advice. How convenient that this cultural construct gives men an excuse to be emotionally lazy. How convenient that it casts feelings-based work as “an internal need, an aspiration, supposedly coming from the depths of our female character.””
by this point my entire stance on being in fanbases is that it feels like i’m trying to live peacefully in a secluded cottage and do my own thing while also witnessing the fall of the roman empire right next door
WHY DO COMPLIMENTS MAKE ME FEEL 2% BETTER BUT INSULTS MAKE ME FEEL 87% WORSE I DONT LIKE THAT
when your working memory is absolute shit garbage useless so you’re always forgetting appointments and the names of people you’ve met recently (and for about three months after you’ve met them) and verbal instructions given to you five seconds ago
but your long-term memory for things like obscure facts about your interests is so good that people get pissed at you for your short-term memory problems because clearly you’re just faking it, right? /sarcasm
“firefly” is the opposite of “waterfall”
--what have you done
“Through art and science in their broadest senses it is possible to make a permanent contribution towards the improvement and enrichment of human life and it is these pursuits that we students are engaged in.”
“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
the worst types of people on the planet are those nerdy kids who used to get bullied in school & when they told their parents they would jst say “it doesn’t matter bc in 20 years they’re going to be working for you” instead of actually getting involved in their child’s life. and now that those nerdy kids have grown up they’ve got a very strange sense of entitlement because they’ve been told their whole life that the geek will inherit the earth
Butch women are amazing as fuck and if you think butch = ugly or that butch women should try to fit into conventional beauty standards in order to attract you in particular or men in general you need to untangle your brain.
And if you think the existence of butch women makes lesbians in general less “hot” to you and you think that this is a real problem maybe just, idk, do a complete brain wipe and start again because your weird gross entitled objectification runs DEEP.
Fame simply wasn't for her -- as it likely isn't for many singing show hopefuls who dream of gigantic mansions, but not the 130-hour work week required to live in one.
repeat after me: I am a fucking awesome person who has dealt with so much shit and I have made it through it all and am still cute af and smart and funny and nice and intelligent and I kick ass
“Weed” is a word for “plant I don’t know how to do anything with yet.” But weeds, as a rule, are successful species. Because they can grow anywhere and they can live through anything.
So can you.
Be a weed. Grow, adapt, flourish, and don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of you because of how pretty or useful you are. You are. That is enough.
“Never trust a demon. He has a hundred motives for anything he does … Ninety-nine of them, at least, are malevolent.”
people who think lesbians are more accepted in society than gay men are idiots. lesbians are more sexualized. they’re seen as a hot thing for straight men to watch but only if both girls are conventionally attractive. otherwise, it’s seen as disgusting or unnatural. that is not acceptance. that is fetishization.
I’m just so pissed mark has literally had to move 3 times in one year and end a long term relationship with someone he really cared abt bc of the fucking fandom you can all fight me i’ll win
“Ewww, you’re dating someone who used to be a man? That makes you gay!”
Well, the person you’re dating used to be a child, so with your logic that makes you a pedophile
i cant believe the biggest hurdle straight cis white men face in their lives is having to think before they speak bc other people might call them “insensitive” and theyre so upset abt this that they write long thinkpieces in respected national magazines about it
“Psychology is not just the study of weakness and damage; it is also the study of strength and virtue. Treatment is not just fixing what is broken; it is nurturing what is best within us.”
unlearning problematic behavior is a long ass process
you will fuck up
handle it gracefully.
It’s also… you’re not resetting to some sort of innate default. There isn’t a real core you that knows better and is above mistreating people; it’s — you’re learning a new skill. It’s not about purity. It’s about learning.
Thank you. This is very important, because there are people on tumblr who treat their own privilege as the original sin, engaging in showy acts of regret and self-hatred and not actually doing anything.
“Men get judged about their appearance too!”
That must be rough! Do they also get judged as incompetent at work if they don’t wear makeup?
Do they get paid less than their more conventionally attractive (though identically or less qualified) counterparts?
Are they more likely to be found guilty by a jury because they don’t conform to beauty standards?
Hint: No, nah, nope.
Superficial standards of attractiveness are harmful to everyone, but they hurt women and those who don’t conform to gender norms more.
My Costumer taught me his bitter song, and it is guaranteed to make you feel better, especially if sang with a group of people joining in. So I thought I’d share it for any of you who might need it
If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands
If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands
If you’re bitter and sadistic and about to go balistic
If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands
I get so mad about people who insist that doctors went to med school so they can never be wrong about your health like ???? Some Doctors hate fat people??? Some doctors hate the mentally ill or give Helpful NT Advice instead of treatment??? My ob/gyn took four years and a strong arm from my mom to figure out I had pcos???
Doctors are not gods??????
I am a med student, literally currently going to medical school, and doctors are about 15% wonderful people who Care So Much It Hurts, about 60% Eh I Was Optimistic But Ill-Informed When I Chose This Life, and a solid 25% What The Fuck Is Wrong With You You Fucking Fucks Get The Fuck Out Of Medicine Oh Wait You’re Just Going To Retire After Decades Of Being A Bigoted Fuck-Up.
Doctors need to be held accountable. Right now, doctors are virtually never held accountable.
There are doctors who tell lesbians not to worry about STDs because they “can’t get any.” There are doctors who tell fat people to lose weight when what’s wrong is actually a) completely unrelated to weight and b) fatal. A doctor once refused to give me an IUD because I should “marry a nice young virgin man” instead of being a big ol’ queer slutbag. In my summer job reviewing medical records, I’ve seen three patients who were sent home with a disease that almost immediately killed them because the doctors (three different ones!) didn’t take CHEST PAIN seriously. One of my classmates, a future doctor, told me I was overreacting to the murder of Michael Brown and when I said the hell I am he said I must not UNDERSTAND THE ISSUES. Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot my master’s degree in social psychology is just there to decorate my shelf! My tiny lady-brain can’t possibly comprehend anything important! I once heard a doctor brag about having forcibly sterilized a Latina woman who didn’t consent because she was an undocumented immigrant and “she had too many already.” He was receiving a LOT of federal research funding for his work with our research group. I’ve WATCHED doctors be horrible, bigoted fuck-ups.
Like, if these are things someone like me, who passionately believes in medicine to the point where I’ve willingly sacrificed a reasonably comfortable job, my free time for at least seven years of training, and my right to decide where I spend at least three years of my life (because we are obligated to go wherever we’re matched for residency), is seeing at one of the top academic medical centers IN THE WORLD, what the FUCK do you think is happening in the REST of the country, where they HAVEN’T attracted “top talent”?
Doctors are not better than other people. We just have less transparency and less accountability. That needs to change.
I honestly don’t understand why there aren’t more people who, when given the platform to discuss minimum wage, don’t simply distill it to the simplest of facts:
A forty hour work week is considered full time.
It’s considered as such because it takes up the amount of time we as a society have agreed should be considered the maximum work schedule required of an employee. (this, of course, does not always bear out practically, but just follow me here)
A person working the maximum amount of time required should earn enough for that labor to be able to survive. Phrased this way, I doubt even most conservatives could effectively argue against it, and out of the mouth of someone verbally deft enough to dance around the pathos-based jabs conservative pundits like to use to avoid actually debating, it could actually get opps thinking.
Therefore, if an employee is being paid less than [number of dollars needed for the post-tax total to pay for the basic necessities in a given area divided by forty] per hour, they are being ripped off and essentially having their labor, productivity, and profit generation value stolen by their employer.
Wages are a business expense, and if a company cannot afford to pay for its labor, it is by definition a failing business. A company stealing labor to stay afloat (without even touching those that do so simply to increase profit margins and/or management/executive pay/bonuses) is no more ethical than a failing construction company breaking into a lumber yard and stealing wood.
Our goal as a society should be to protect each other, especially those that most need protection, not to subsidize failing businesses whose owners could quite well subsidize them on their own.
Men who define feminists’ “realness” based on how well they cater to men’s feelings are severely missing the point.
Feminism is a movement to end male supremacy over other genders. Male supremacy is why we don’t have gender equality. All genders aren’t “equally oppressed” - that’s not how oppression works.
You have unfair social, economic, political, and legal power over the rest of us, so we made a movement to make things more fair.
Now you want to say our movement – the one to stop the current trend of your feelings being treated like the #1 priority in every single situation – isn’t valid… because sometimes we say things that hurt your feelings?
I recently read an article about how women use the word “just” in work life and personal life more than men do because we feel we need to apologize or make whatever we have to say quick. “I’m just writing to say…” “I just want to know…” “Just checking in…”. It seems to trivialize what we have to say.
Don’t apologize or feel you need to make little of what you are saying. Say it with intention. “I’m writing to tell you this…” “I want you to know…” “I’m checking in to make sure…"
Since reading the article I’ve become aware of how much I was adding “just” so soften what I had to say, whether it needed to be softened or not. Say what you have to say with confidence and intent. without apology. what you have to say, no matter what it is, is important.
Okay, but there’s a *reason* why women soften their speech and affect–because we’re often punished if we don’t.
Like how a while back a study came out that showed men will negotiate salary offers much more often than women do, and usually obtain a higher salary as a result. So there was this raft of career advice for women: “Don’t be afraid to negotiate your salary!!”
Yeah, so then someone actually did a study on what happens *when* women attempt to negotiate salary. They trigger a backlash: in many cases the original offer is rescinded, and even if not, it succeeds at a much lower rate than negotiations for men do, and the woman gains a reputation for being “difficult.”
Women don’t negotiate salaries because we’re not idiots.
Similarly, I think a lot of the other social-hesitancy cues that women use, like using “just” or making everything into a question–we do that because otherwise we are punished. This isn’t just a matter of “be more assertive, ladies!” There’s more going on.
Insisting that feminists believe in a conspiracy where every man in the world gets together and plots to oppress us is one of the most irritating derailing tactics ever, because literally no feminist has ever believed that in the history of ever.
When we talk about male privilege, we’re talking about traditions and rules and ideas that benefit men at the expense of women, perpetuated mostly by people who don’t analyse these things at all, much less recognise that they’re supporting male supremacy.
We’re saying that the weight of history - in the form of ideas no one questions because that’s the way things have been for ages - is making the playing field uneven in men’s favour.
And all it takes to see evidence of that is to look around. Why do men hold more political power? Why are men paid more for the same job? Why do men hold more high-level positions? Why are most of the characters men in movies and video games? Why do women do more housework? Why are jobs that mostly women do considered less important and paid less than jobs that mostly men do? Why do we think it’s the woman who was irresponsible if a woman and a man create an unexpected pregnancy?
It literally just takes a little critical thought and maybe a little googling to realise that misogyny is a real problem. Men are more valued in our cuture. That’s the problem. There’s no secret cabal of men conspiring to dominate women - conspiracies aren’t necessary to keep traditions in place.
Tibetan Monks Were Feudal Tyrants Who Owned Slaves and Tortured Dissidents
That's the Potala Palace, where the Dalai Lamas lived with their many, many slaves. Before China took over, the political structure in Tibet was essentially feudalism, which you might remember from history class as a form of government so archaic that it was wiped out in the 1400s for being too outdated.
There were really only two classes of people in Tibet: the monks, known as Lamas, who lived in luxury, and the serfs, known as "literally everyone else," who had no rights and basically lived only to serve the Lamas. And the Lamas weren't necessarily the kind of quiet, benevolent hippies that Hollywood wants you to believe.
First of all, taxes in Tibet were about as high as you would expect from a country in which every individual member of government lived in their own massive castle. The Lamas put a tax on everything, and we mean everything -- there was a tax for being born, and after that, just about everything you did after waking up in the morning, from keeping animals to attending festivals to leaving town, had a hidden price tag. Homeless and begging on the streets? Hope you're able to scrape up enough change at the end of the day to pay the begging tax.
Those who couldn't afford to pay their taxes had the option of, well, starving to death, at which point all of your debts (including your newly acquired death tax debt) would pass on to your family. Or you could take out a loan from a monastery with an interest rate that made loan sharks look like philanthropists.
If serfs defaulted on their debts, broke the law, or attempted to flee, then they had one of Tibet's torture chambers to look forward to. Yes, "Tibet's torture chambers" were things that existed. Of course, Buddhism clearly disallowed the death penalty, but the Lamas found loopholes in the dogma that made things like eye-gouging, amputation, and tongue removal fair game. Tibetan monasteries reportedly had private prisons and carried handcuffs in children's sizes, in case you wanted to know if they had all the evil bases covered.
This obviously raises the question of why exactly it is we tend to think of Tibet as some kind of paradise. The simple answer is that, after the Chinese invasion, only the aristocratic Lamas escaped, dancing across the Himalayas like they were in The Sound Of Music, except the singing was tax evasion and everyone was an asshole. So the monks were the only people who were able to spread the word to the rest of the world about Tibet, and not surprisingly, they thought quite highly of it.
I honestly think relationships in general would be healthier, in general, if we didn’t believe they should last forever.
When the default is “forever” and shorter relationships are seen as a failure, we miss out on a lot. We stay in relationships that don’t work because they’re not “bad enough” to leave, as though not wanting the relationship anymore isn’t a good enough reason. We deny ourselves happy memories, saying “If it doesn’t work now, our love then wasn’t real.” We pass on relationships we know would be short, because if it doesn’t last forever, what’s the point in joy in the moment?
An ending isn’t a failure. It’s an ending. Most relationships have them. What would our relationships be like if we stopped focusing on our fear of endings and started focusing on what we - and our friends, partners, and family - need right now?
“We need to say that women have sex, have abortions, are at peace with the decision and move on with their lives. We need to say that is their right, and, moreover, it’s good for everyone that they have this right: The whole society benefits when motherhood is voluntary. When we gloss over these truths we unintentionally promote the very stigma we’re trying to combat. What, you didn’t agonize? You forgot your pill? You just didn’t want to have a baby now? You should be ashamed of yourself.”
I’ve seen a couple of posts like this directed at men but none for white people so I’m going to make one
if you’re talking to a person of colour, about anything but especially about something personal or something regarding race in any way, you need to be asking yourself: “am I making them uncomfortable? do they want to be talking about this, here, now, and with me? am I being voyeuristic? am I being invasive? am I demanding information that they’re not volunteering? am I asking them to dredge up things they don’t want to dredge up? am I asking them to perform emotional or intellectual labour for me? would I ask this question of a white person? am I invading their personal space, emotionally or physically? am I disrespecting their boundaries? am I making it awkward or impossible for them to change the subject / end the conversation / leave the room? am I doing a good job of policing myself in this interaction so that they don’t have to?”
oh and also “DID THEY ASK FOR MY FUCKING OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT”
a good thing to do for your friends with anxiety disorders: if you have a question you need to ask them or something you need to tell them, explain the subject of the question/the statement in the same message as your opening one!
so basically: instead of saying “can i ask you a question?” and sending just that (which, as a person with an anxiety disorder, makes my anxiety go into hyperdrive) go “can i ask you a question about ___?”
it’s a little thing but honestly few things make me anxious like “i have a question for you” or “there’s something i need to tell you” without immediate explanation. thanks!
I cannot emphasize enough how much this would help. Nothing sends me into a panic attack quite like “Can I ask you a question?” If you ask me that, anxiety makes my mind jump to the worst possible things. Please please please read this and remember this. You can’t even imagine the amount of distress this could save people from.
You might be autochorissexual if:
You get aroused by sexual content but don’t actually want to engage in any sexual activities yourself.
You masturbate, but are neutral or repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person.
When you fantasize about sex, you envision people other than yourself, and/or you view it in third person, as though you’re watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through your own eyes.
You predominantly or entirely fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities, rather than people you actually know.
You identify as asexual and feel no sexual attraction to people, but enjoy masturbating, are aroused by sexually explicit content, and/or have sexual fantasies.
Being gay is natural? Okay.
You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye
Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend
Our lesbian island is going to last a century? DAMN! That is…. Good enough for me 💃👭 100 years is plenty enough time 🍺🍻 for a…. Party!!! 🍸🍹🍷💋💋
When u hate the gays so much you deny the newly discovered scientific fact that it’s literally possible to use female bone marrow to create sex cells which means that the straights and men are now unneeded ✨
Not that it matters though. Almost nothing about the modern day human lifestyle is “natural”, why should we care if being gay is natural or not. And we ain’t all living in an isolated island, there are other ways to have children than the convetional way
Plus there are plenty of kids who need homes rather than over populating the earth with 19 kids.
there are gay men with vaginas tho
and lesbian women with penises
we don’t need cishets to reproduce lmao???
plus jesus the straight island would keep producing lesbians and gays and they would keep being shipped to their rightful islands and populating them… you realize this is how most gay ppl are made right? like irl? lol
Also I love how the OP didn’t even specify whether “straight island” would have men AND women. Hell “straight island” could be 1,000 straight men and if Lord of the Flies was a basis for anything then they’d probably all kill each other within a month.
What they don't mention about #growingupwithtoostrictparents
- The resentment that begins to build up and damage your relationship with your parents because your missing out on being a kid.
- The self destructive tendencies that develop when you get your freedom.
- Extreme Behaviour that can be dangerous because you feel as if you have to catch up on all the life you have been missing.
- A constant sadness that your never going to live life enough.
- Developing anxiety over doing things as simple as riding the bus.
- Massive issues with authority.
- Fear of commitment because you feel as though it is going to tie you down and take away from your freedom again.
white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english*
Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like “Whomsoever enters this room, they shall… well, this word is like… literally it means ‘unbecome,’ but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and—wait, when was this carved? was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century. This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?”
“You guys, I’ve gotta be honest, okay? This thing’s written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I’ve only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here…I can’t even tell if it’s some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase…whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means.”
‘this is written in ancient sumerian. it’s about… uh… well that word is… uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower.’
“okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means ‘horse’ - and the context is really not helping”
“You know what? This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding let’s just leave.”
So I saw on the news today that, unfortunately, I was right: they DID tase Sandra Bland. They took her off camera and tased her. You can hear her agonized screams as the cop continues to yell at her to be still and take her punishment for daring to talk back.
Let me explain to you why this would have killed Sandra if they kept doing it.
Sandra had epilepsy, the medication for which can severely weaken the body and heart long after one has stopped taking it.
How do I know this? Because I, a bipolar person, took Depakote – an epilepsy medication – for years and suffered its side effects firsthand. Even after coming off the medication, I know that if I was tased by an officer, I would very likely die. My heart just wouldn’t be able to take it.
And it’s likely that Sandra Bland – who had been on epilepsy medication far longer than I – wouldn’t have been able to take it either. They likely tased her again at the station and she died.
Now they’re saying she hung herself with trash bags and blankets that weren’t in the cell – the story keeps changing because the lies keep changing – and they’re saying she had marijuana in her system, which for them is the most incriminating thing of all.
They could not have found marijuana in her system after THREE DAYS of sitting in jail unless they found it POST MORTEM.
Either she was dead when they found the drugs in her system, or they used some other prisoner’s test results to fabricate this lie.
The truth is, they bullied her into an arrest to fill a quota, tased her for talking back, and accidentally killed her, not knowing that her medicated heart could not take it.
The forms she signed on entry said she had no cuts on her arms. And yet she had cuts on her arms post mortem.
The forms also said she had a medical condition but that she wasn’t getting her medication. And we can actually hear Sandra saying in the video that she has epilepsy.
People keep saying she tried to kill herself because she lost a child before. That doesn’t mean she killed herself now. They are using her past to damn her.
It’s disgusting. Because I know if it had happened to me, they’d just say, “Oh, she’s bipolar, so she must’ve killed herself.” They would use this stigma to write off my murder. And people would believe it. Because who listens to crazy people?
Sandra Bland was murdered. Probably accidentally. But she was killed. And yet somehow, it’s still her fault for talking back, for trying to break free when he injured her arm, for BEING BLACK.
Women have been a leading force in sanitation strikes, calling for equal treatment and job security. This particular service industry has been the focus of multiple feminist manifestos and employment goals. Women fought long and hard to gain the right to work in sanitation, and they’re continuing that effort to open up the field more. This issue is so big that Parks and Rec even made an episode about it.
Female sewer workers have repeatedly sued the DEP for unfair treatment, seeking to open up the industry and gain equal status with their male peers. Sewer work is often targeted for its biased hiring practices. Hundreds of female candidates fight for limited available positions, but most are turned away, despite having the necessary experience and skills. Feminist workers recognize that these women are willing and able to do the work, but aren’t getting the opportunity to gain employment here.
Historically, coal mining is one of the most highly targeted careers for gender bias. Women have been petitioning for the opportunity to mine safely since the Industrial Revolution. This is actually one of the primary and best studied examples of women fighting to enter traditionally male fields. Lots of women, who both succeeded in the mines and didn’t, continue to petition for increased access to this field.
And yeah, women want white collar jobs too. Go figure - A diverse population of women, with different abilities, interests and levels of education, are all fighting for the right to seek diverse forms of employment. Fighting for equality in one sphere doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about the others.
Just because you aren’t paying attention to the feminist movement doesn’t mean that the feminist movement is nonexistent.
Also, if you care so much about men in those fields, raise awareness of the fact that their work is under-appreciated instead of blaming feminism for everything.
Why does sex out of obligation feels like rape? I want to be a good partner and meet my partner's needs but I really hate sex and I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I frigid? I'm too ashamed to seek counselling. Sorry if this is weird...
Because sex out of obligation is rape.
Obligation is not the same as consent. More over it bothers me that your partner is continuing to have sex with you when you’re not into it. Unless you’re doing an excellent job of faking it (which if it feels like rape to you, I highly doubt you’re able to do) they should be picking up on the fact that you’re not into it and they should be stopping.
There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. If you don’t want to have sex, you shouldn’t have sex. If your partner doesn’t understand or respect that, they’re not a good person.
Sex is not for everyone. Not everyone likes sex. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I can’t say it enough. I feel like there is so much pressure in our society to be sexual, that in order to be a good partner we must be having sex. That is just not true. There are a multitude of ways to be a good partner that do not involve sex at all.
If sex does not feel good for you, if you hate sex, stop having sex.
There is no such thing as frigid.
This isn’t weird. This is unfortunately very common.
You are a complete person and perfectly capable of being a good partner without having sex. Now or ever. You are whole and fine even if you hate sex and never have it ever again in your entire life. Sex does not define us as human beings.
I don’t know if this is a label that feels right for you, but you may want to look into terms like asexual, sex repulsed and romantic asexual. We recommend the Asexual Visibility and Education Network as a great starting point for researching these terms. If any of these identities feel right for you, know that there is a community out there, there are other people who experience this form of sexuality (or lack of sexuality) and that you are not alone.
And please, stop having sex out of obligation.
My Japanese friend just curved the SHIT out of this white boy you don’t even understand. I asked her why she did did him like that. She said:
“I do not like white people, and everyone around me where I live they either don’t like them or are starting not to like them. Cause they keep coming to Japan and trying to hit on date us or marry because they hear “asian women are easy when it comes to white men”, and everytime my friends are outside and go to the club, they try and ask us out, and when we say no they say things like “But other japanese like white people, you don’t like us?” “What’s the problem the problem, we’re white”, “Don’t japanese like white people?”, they come to us with a superiority that we must like them because we’re japanese, because you know, america painted a picture to us that the white man is the successful one and they’re the best, I just don’t like them, I just don’t feel comfortable dating someone who’s white. I feel like a fetish, and I feel used.”
By the way learn another language, it opens up doors and you can see the world much deeper, new doors open.
Living in Japan I witnessed this
Happens here in the Philippines too…
About 3-4 people from the Philippines reblogged this and said the same thin about the Philippines too, like a year ago my friend from the Philippines asked why white men keep coming to their country for things like that, I thought nothing of it, thought it was just unfounded. So today after seen a lot of reblogs with so many replies from Asians, including Filipinos, I did some research, and apparently this shit is worse in the Philippines, and this happens in all asian countries. That apparently white men painted a picture of supremacy, and they go to these asian countries to get off on it. Just asked the filippina friend, she said they come here a lot for prostitution as well, and that prostitution is not regulated well there, so they sleep a lot with the underage girls. I saw a few reblogs get back on my dash, so today I decided to go check the reblogs
Here’s are just a few of the reblogs from this I saw, which I found crazy (Before I felt I just had to go research it)
“A Japanese friend of mine said basically the same thing.”
“I’m not surprised. Foreigners are just as bad in Taiwan but I don’t think Taiwanese are sick of their shit yet.”
“….I know a girl who’s dad literally married her mom because of a fetish, and now she hates half her identity because it’s so sexualized……….I don’t know exactly where the trend started that Asian women are docile submissive dragon mothers”
“Used to see this all the time in college. White guys going after the Asian international students.”
“I live in the Philippines and white men are considered a “jackpot” here, I hope to destroy this concept.”
“I didn’t even have to live in Japan to witness this, I joined the Japanese club at my Australian uni and nearly every week the same white boys would be hitting on the Japanese exchange students. The behavior of these boys only got worse during social events like Karaoke Night “
“(an asian girl) —i’m not japanese but reading this helped me understand why i don’t like dating white men. I just never knew the words to describe it. - I feel like a fetish”
“…I am not Japan, but as a child of a Chinese man, and a woman no less, I can attest that white men treat Asian women like a fucking fetish. God bless the Japanese women and the bullshit they put up with. To all the white fuckbois who think Japanese people HAVE to like you…NEWSFLASH: NO ONE HAS TO LIKE YOUR SELF-ENTITLED ASSES”.
Oppressive by Default
When you have privilege (and everyone does, on one axis or another), a lot of the oppression that you don’t face is completely invisible to you. Like, there are thousands and thousands of tiny links in an oppressive system that, without someone pointing it out, you would literally never notice or think anything of because the whole culture says that stuff is okay.
Since all this stuff is invisible to you as a privileged person, your default is to go along with it. It’s just what happens when you’re raised in an oppressive culture. Your opinions, shaped by this culture, are oppressive by default, and not being oppressive takes constant work and listening to people who can see the things you can’t. That’s what people mean when they say “all (X) people are inherently oppressive.”
The identity itself (being hetero, for instance) isn’t wrong or bad. But in the world we live in, some identities are privileged so you don’t need to question the status quo unless someone points out the problems to you. And remember, the status quo is oppressive.
You don’t need to be intentionally mean to be oppressive. Literally all it takes is just not noticing the bad stuff in something you’ve been taught your entire life is normal. So when someone calls you problematic in one way or another, they may be pointing out something that’s been completely invisible to you, and if you’re wise enough to listen and apply that knowledge, you’ll become a better person for it.
Don’t get caught up in being offended that someone called you oppressive. You’re oppressive by default; it’s expected that there will be things you don’t know yet. What matters is how well you listen, and how hard you work to unlearn all the toxic stuff you’re raised in and still surrounded by.
I was thinking about the Grim Reaper recently. They’re not tied to any particular religion, they just personify death and collect the soul and take them…where? What if they’re like afterlife HR?
“So hey! You’re right on time! Okay, your chart says ‘Hellenic.’ Got your coin for the ferryman? No?! Alright, here’s the deal: sign here, River Styx is down the next hall on the left, but you can’t cross for another hundred years. Hey, I don’t make the rules! What do you think a last will and testament’s for, Felix?!”
“Gina! Almost had you there in ‘93 with that heart attack, eh? Eh? Anyway, Catholic, right? Hang a left, St. Peter’s waiting behind the gates, he’ll give you your assignment.”
“Hey boss, this one didn’t believe in afterlife or having a soul– I’m headed to my next appointment.”
“Sanjay! Nice long life you had there, buddy. So you remember where the Great Revolving Door of Reincarnation is– oh wait! You qualify for nirvana! Look at you!”
“So Sam, you’re…agnostic. Come to my office, we’ll discuss your options.”
Endometriosis—the struggle is real. Killer cramps are NOT normal. Periods that last longer than 7 days are NOT normal. Heavy bleeding that soaks through a tampon every 2 hours is NOT normal; pain during sex is NOT normal. Bouts of diarrhea and vomiting that accompany every menstrual cycle are NOT normal. No, no, and no! For many people, this reality is just endometriosis at work.
Sad truth: Many of us are taught to downplay these symptoms. Our pain is diminished by parents, siblings, friends and even health care professionals who convince us that everyone goes through this.
Maybe that is why, according to the Endometriosis Foundation of America, it takes 10 years on average to receive an accurate endometriosis diagnosis. That’s a decade, people! That’s 130 periods of agony, 912 days of someone asking you to take Advil and suck it up. That…is not okay.
Endometriosis is pervasive. It affects 1 in 20 Americans of reproductive age and an estimated 176 million people worldwide. It occurs when tissue similar to the endometrium (the lining of the uterus) is found outside the uterus on other parts of the body.
There are lots of symptoms that can vary among patients. Pelvic pain is most common, as well as pain that coincides with menstruation. Other symptoms include heavy cramps, long-lasting bleeding, nausea or vomiting, pain during sex and, unfortunately, infertility. Some people may even experience symptoms throughout their entire cycle—a real drag.
In addition to these physical symptoms, endometriosis takes a toll on someone’s personal and professional life. Chronic pain can severely affect quality of life day-to-day; medical care can be extremely costly. Furthermore, absenteeism can alter relationships in the workplace and at home.
Despite the intense discomfort, many people do not realize they have endometriosis until they try to get pregnant. And because the disease tends to get progressively worse over time, approximately 30-40% of people who have endometriosis experience fertility challenges.
There is no simple diagnostic test for endometriosis—no blood, urine, or saliva testing can confirm the condition. The only way to verify endometriosis is to undergo a diagnostic laparoscopy with pathology confirmation of biopsy specimens.
On the bright side, many endometriosis symptoms— including infertility—can be addressed after diagnosis. The gold standard for endometriosis treatment is laparoscopic excision surgery. This involves a careful removal of the entire endometrial lesion from wherever it grows.
The first step to getting there is recognizing that your pain is not normal and seeking timely intervention. The earlier endometriosis is detected and treated, the better the results. Tracking your symptoms will make you better informed for your next doctor’s visit, and set you on a path to better (and less painful!) menstrual health.
I’ve never understood how “casual” is supposed to be an insult
Like ooohh yeah I play video games for fun in my free time you got me
It’s a way to separate “real” gamers from “fake” gamers.
Ah yes, ‘real gamers’. 100% farm raised organic gamers. None of that ‘fake gamer’ high fructose corn syrup allowed
It’s also a way of being misogynist without being explicit about it. In gaming especially, “casual” and “hardcore” are nearly always defined along gender lines, with games that women prefer and/or that are targeted towards women being branded “casual” no matter how complex they are, and games that men prefer and/or that are targeted towards men being branded “hardcore” no matter how simple they are. (And sometimes, when men discover the depth in a “casual” game, it suddenly becomes “hardcore” and thus the player communities become male-dominated.)
I can’t seem to find it now, but there was a post (in fact, I’m sure there have been several) about how the exact same phenomenon happens in literature.
It also happens in academic fields (like how biology somehow isn’t “real science” because it’s female dominated) and… well fucking everywhere.
you know racial tension is so high in my city that black kids aren’t playing outside.
at first i thought it was the heat. it’s SUPER HOT. been over 95 degrees most days. but then i was like no. we’re use to this. it’s actually been a mild summer for us.
black and brown kids are staying inside to be safe. only the white kids roll about the neighborhood.
i live in a “good” part of town. and this is happening.
i go out shopping. you don’t see black teens out and about anymore. i’ll see a few, but it’s like everyone that’s a minority in my city just vanished from everyday life.
and when we’re out and see each other, we’re comparing notes. making sure one another is safe. wondering what new white supremacy rally is happening next, and to not engage. that we’re scared but trying to act nonchalant. to not scare the kids more you know? but we’re scared.
white adults are out here planting confederate flags on their trucks, riding in black spaces. having parades.
the amount of white pride shirts i’ve seen have skyrocketed.
i’m seeing more white guys with confederate flag tattoos.
banners on trucks. cars. shirts.
and then when they see a black person at the grocery store, it’s this standstill. some glare, some smirk, and some glance at their white pride shire, and look away.
and all the black people in the store just silently move to another section. go to another lane.
the cashiers, teens, looking petrified. because what can THEY do? but ring up the groceries?
my mom keeps saying it’s like we’re back in the 50s and 60s. she’s from that era.
it’s unsettling. the tension is high.
and people think black people are making this up. that we do this for notes online.
when i log off, and walk out my door, i have to worry about this. i worry about this all the time. my safety is jeopardized getting food at a grocery store. that’s how bad the tension is.
and it’s not getting better. it’s getting worse. white people are getting bolder with their hate.
i can’t help wonder how in the hell my grandparents survived this. my parents. now me and my bro’s age group going through it. it’s like never ending.
and then the news will report on the rallies, and tell black people and other minorities to stay calm.
it’s surreal. it’s fucking surreal. and we see it affecting the kids! little kids! won’t play outside!!!! only the white ones! God it’s sick how things are.
So listen to this bullshit for the past year I have been passing out around and during the time of my period. Mind you, I stopped having periods for three years because I have PCOS and my hormones are all out of whack. I lost A LOT of weight and they came back but not every month. Only every 3-4 months. I couldn’t understand why I was passing out or why my periods are so painful. But this time, my period was even more incredibly painful, and I not only passed out.. I started having seizures. I was rushed to the ER through an ambulance. I was only a little conscious upon arrival enough to mumble what medication I was on, but felt myself losing consciousness again. I don’t remember, but apparently the doctor didn’t believe that I was unconscious and my friend told me that he even smacked me in the face before realizing that I was really unconscious. I then started to have another seizure. They had to put ammonia on my nose to get me out of it. After I was awake enough to communicate, I told my nurses and the doctor that I’m on my period. That I think it might have something to do with all of this. They took blood, urine, and did a CT scan. I had to tell him that I have Social Anxiety Disorder and have been in recovery for a year and have been hospitalized for my mental health four times, but my anxiety had nothing to do with this. Anyone that has anxiety would know if they were just having a panic attack or if something else was seriously wrong. My tests came back normal. The doctor came back in and told me that I had to get on a computer and talk to a psychiatrist at another hospital to be evaluated. I was so confused. I started crying. Here I am HAVING SEIZURES and they are trying to evaluate me to be sent into a psychiatric facility at another hospital. I let them evaluate me even though I was outraged. I told the psychiatrist that I’m fine, I just want to know what’s causing my seizures that I didn’t come to the hospital to be treated like this. She then asked me “It’s my understanding that you would like to be admitted at our facility here?” I said “I have no interest in your facility because I’m fine mentally besides the fact that you guys are treating me like I’ve done something wrong trying to convince me to tell you I’m suicidal when I’m not. I’m physically sick and I just want to get better and figure out why I’m having seizures.” After finally convincing them that I don’t need to be put in psych the doctor that made me go through all of this bullshit and tried to have me sent off came back in my room and said “Wait, are you on your period?” I was infuriated. I just looked at him and said “Yes.” He just walked away. The nurse came back and discharged me to go home. I was terrified that I was going to go home and have another seizure. They didn’t do anything. My diagnoses was “Syncope” (passing out) and “Anxiety”- Panic Attack. I NEVER HAD A PANIC ATTACK. Once I get home, knowing something is terribly wrong, and it’s too late at night to schedule an appointment with my doctor, plus she just so happens to be on vacation I started messaging her on Facebook telling her how scared I am and what all that happened. The next day my mom drove me to my aunts house two hours away so I could be around more people to watch me and to be closer to a better hospital. I had another seizure that same night. My doctor saw the message shortly afterwards. SHE WAS OUTRAGED. I told her about my period, about the passing out, and about my first seizures. She told me THROUGH FACEBOOK that it sounds like I have a condition called Catamenial Epilepsy which is basically seizures that are triggered by hormones and a woman’s menstrual cycle and that she needed to see me in her office first thing Monday morning. The point of me telling this story is: I went into a hospital passing out and having seizures and was treated like a psych patient just because I have a mental illness. I was treated like shit and was sent home instead of being further examined to find out what’s causing my seizures. AND THE DOCTOR REALIZED what happened and DISCHARGED me knowing there was another chance of me seizing again. And that is reality for people going through a mental illness. We are treated as if we are crazy, that other illnesses are irrelevant because you have a mental illness. I was treated like an infection, like I wasn’t even worth their time.
I have a huge problem with werewolf/vampire YA novels because I feel they present extremely unhealthy and misogynistic ideals (not to mention heteronormative) that absolutely impact their audience, specifically young teenaged girls. Aside from the horrifying power imbalances in their romantic story lines, the female protagonist is a prop with no story of her own. The story revolves exclusively around the male character even if the female protagonist is the narrator. Young girls absolutely do not need to be internalizing the belief that their lives are somehow peripheral to their boyfriends.
But that’s not even my main issue. My main issue is the rampant romanticization of abusive relationships. These female protagonists are in relationships where their partner cannot be trusted, or relied on. They are lied to, watched, controlled, and kept on an unfair playing field.
Now, the really sick part is that we, the readers, know why this is happening. We have an understanding that the male character is ~protecting her~ and has to keep his secret for fear of punishment, so we are creating a space where this kind of behaviour is justifiable in our minds; romantic even. So if (and I do mean if) the female protagonist says anything about the behaviour or ends the relationship we are drawn in to siding with the male character because we understand his motives are for ‘the greater good’ and thus the female character is overreacting, lacking understanding, ungrateful or cold.
Young audiences (really, all audiences) are impacted by and internalize messages that are hammered into them repeatedly, and it infuriates me that those messages are “its romantic and mysterious when your boyfriend is secretive, shady and untrustworthy” because they have been conditioned to believe that the internal dialogue of their partner outweighs their own opinion on their treatment and what they deserve and can be used to render this manipulative and abusive behaviour completely acceptable and even desirable.
THIS! SO MUCH!
Also – abusive “loss of control” scenarios also seem more common in these stories and the idea that it’s either positive (“I love you so much it makes me crazy!”) or unavoidable (“I’m a werewolf/vampire/monster of the night so I can’t help it!”) legitimises abuse within the narrative.
It emphasises the need for the female character’s kindness and understanding over her own need to feel safe and not be kidnapped, imprisoned, lied to, intimidated, shouted at, threatened, or even physically hurt.
These things are framed as understandable slip-ups – which is great for real-life abusers who have been framing their assaults as understandable slipups from time immemorial and now have more legitimacy in the eyes of potential victims who are being trained to accept this excuse.
Even when the shitty behaviour isn’t directly endorsed by the narrative, it’s often part of a redemption arc where the responsibility for a male character’s charcter growth is laid squarely on the shoulders of his female love interest (a lá Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast”, where the lesson is that if you love your abuser enough, he’ll stop abusing you.)
Making women the moral guardians of their love interests makes their treatment by the male characters their responsibility, and reinforces the idea that abuse is the victim’s fault. If loving someone enough can make them a good person, and if it’s your job to make them a good person, and they fuck up, it’s not their fault but yours. You obviously just didn’t love them enough to change their behaviour.
(Not to mention the hoops a female character has to jump through in these stories to prove they’re trustworthy enough to handle being treated like an equal in light of their monstrous lover’s secret, which is a whole other can of abusive worms.)
Pay attention to these tropes and you’ll see them everywhere, but stories where the male character is literally a monster seem to attract them even more. It’s also rare for the female character to be the monster in these narratives - question why that is.
Also! So many of those hoops the female character has to jump through to be found worthy are actual, real life, signs of an abusive relationship. You’ll notice how the female character is persistently forced to distance herself from her ‘normal’ friends and her family, presumably for their safety. A sign of an abuser is separating their victim from her support system and isolating her. He will impose curfews, demand to know where she has been, refuse to let her go out alone, and sometimes even physically restrain her. Also a huge red flag of an abusive relationships. And yet she is seen as childish and foolish and taking unnecessary risks when she doesn’t meekly accept his every decree.
Not to mention in so many of these stories the male character doesn’t age and has these deeply instilled archaic beliefs and instead of the female protagonist helping draw him into the current century we repeatedly see the female characters being cordoned off by the male’s rigid unwillingness to grow.
It’s never a small compromise on the part of the female character- it is always all or nothing. There is no healthy give-and-take in these relationships. The women have to sacrifice their entire identity, everyone they knew, how their life was and become completely immersed is his family, his friends, his lifestyle. And, let’s face it, when it comes to werewolves/vampires, she often sacrifices her very humanity to become even more like her boyfriend.
Painting this unending self-sacrifice specifically denying their right to safety and their self-preservation as a romantic gesture and the Ultimate Sacrifice For Love is creating an underlying belief that it is something beautiful to completely be taken over and rewritten by your boyfriend and sacrificing constantly and completely is the only real gesture of True Love.
One day I walk into the locker room after gym and all the guys have their arms bent and are talking like valley girls. They say “hey act gay with us” and I’m pissed at this moment in time and I’m like “well how do gay guys act?” They were all like “you know, like this” and proceeded to talk like idiots and swing their hips as they walked. I finally snapped and I decided to make the awkward straight guys squirm (majority of which were in nothing but boxers). I said “no they don’t, gay guys act just like everyone else. I know for a fact that there are three gay men in this locker room right now and you don’t know who any of them are” (which is a lie, there are none besides me). Well suddenly everyone flipped shit. Every guy is a fifty foot radius scrambled to cover their junk and started yelling. I heard things like “you’re the fucking faggot, aren’t you?” and “quit looking at my cock you queer.” Guys who have been friends forever began to turn on each other. Two guys had similar shorts and mixed them up when hurrying to cover their crotches. Everyone was screaming and yelling and I just calmly change and walk out trying my god awful best not to burst out laughing. People were losing their balance and falling over while trying to pull up their pants. The teachers heard the commotion and rushed in as I made my way out. The sheer heteronormativity of this moment disgusts me on an existential level but Jesus this was so hysterical. This is one of my crowning achievements and I feel nothing but pride about how I caused utter chaos with two sentences.
HETEROSEXUAL MEN ARE SO FRAGILE