“I have a lot to say. You just have to ask the right questions”
But truly he had reason to fear , for his ex girlfriend employed the most evil of all teenage tactics!
She whispers to her friend, then they laugh while pointing right at him!
Her fiendish plot of adolescent mockery reducing him to quivering blob!
art has been used throughout history as a tool of oppression just as much as it has been used as a tool of expression. it is important to dissect and critique art on every level, it does not get a free pass to perpetuate whatever potentially harmful messages it wants just out of its nature of being art.
in order for comedy to be funny and entertaining, it needs to be poking fun at something more powerful than the person delivering the comedy.
Think about the difference between watching a bully pummel some scrawny little dipshit, and that dipshit surprising the bully with a jab to the throat.
The former is a tragedy, the latter is a popular genre of YouTube video. We like to see the underdog win and, ideally, we don't want anyone to get hurt. This is why so many comedians talk about what useless pieces of shit they are on stage: the more people who are better than them, the more stuff they have to make fun of. That's why it's dumb to make jokes at the expense of the homeless: they don't have power over anyone.
This is part of why it's so profoundly stupid for someone to say, "How come X gets to tell that joke, but I don't?" Because comedy, jackass. The place the joke is coming from is part of the joke. That's not fair, but hey: would you rather your jokes be fair or funny? Sorry, that's a rhetorical question, because no one cares about your answer. They just wanna know if you can make them laugh.
everyone always assumes that when the robots gain sentience, the first thing they're gonna wanna do is kill all the humans. nobody ever really considers the option that they'll just call us a bunch of losers and ditch us.
Gone are the days when you could just throw a white sheet over your head and go as the ghost of someone who got strangled in a load of laundry.
History is written by the victors, and so a lot of the "facts" you have in your head are just the manic ravings of the people who stabbed their way to the top.
Remember kids, "Yes, but only because you might leave me to die otherwise" means "No."
why do people call people lightweights as if it’s a bad thing??? you paid 20 bucks to get drunk I paid 5 sry you’re sad
Successful horror often makes us afraid of everyday, mundane things. Jaws brought terror to swimming in the ocean. The Blair Witch Project spooked us out of any future camping trips. The Ring exploited our natural fear of wet children
To capture its prey, the bed possesses all the wily powers of, well, a bed: cuddliness, soft pillows and 1,000 thread count sheets.
"Oh no, not my favorite hands!"
“The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, traveling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone.”
We don't think we're exaggerating when we say that if the entire world stopped focusing on its differences for like five minutes, you'd probably be reading this article from your summerhouse on Mars while preparing for the annual World Peace Day barbecue.
You might say it's the vilest vial of all the vile vials you've ever reviled. But if you said that, somebody would probably slap you for not being funny.
He was a man, a manly man, the kinda manly man who looked as if someone had shaved a baboon and stuffed his arms full of watermelons.
sorry you haven’t seen much of me lately it’s just that everything in the whole world is overwhelming
blog goals: making someone feel a little less sad
imagine the most serious character you know
now imagine them getting scared by the toaster going off as they walk by
country music, or as I like to call it, “farm emo”
*holds your hand and swings it a little bit when we walk*
--*swings my arm around at maximum velocity and flings u into the sun*
jokes on u i’m not letting go you’re coming with me
“hey, you’d be more attractive without glasses”
--“well you’d be more attractive if I wasn’t wearing my glasses too.”
as a someone who studies psychology i can 500% say there is something wrong with all of us on here
i wonder what new slang words will surface in the new year that i’ll start to use ironically but then won’t be able to stop using
What is a hero without a villain?:Useless.
What is a villain without a hero?: Successful.
--So what you’re saying here is that we should all be villains?
scared of high school? face your fears, fight everyone in high school
That “ignoring each other” game can turn into a “never hearing from me again” game real fast
One good day would be nice…I have shit to draw…C’mon emotions, stop fucking with me. Please.
Life is like a box of chocolates, I don’t like 3 quarters of it
A collection of 90’s insults:
welcome to loserville. population one: ....you
talk to the hand
then why dont you marry it!
loser loser, double loser, as if, whatever, get the picture, DUH
cancel my subscription, im over your issues
U-G-L-Y you aint got no alibi! you ugly! ya ya, you ugly!
have a nice trip, see you next fall
i know you are, but what am i?
im rubber, youre glue, anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you
How many innocent cats have been lifted in the air because of The Lion King?
i am 5’2” and let me tell you… it is not jUST CATS
Hi, I’m a writer. My hobbies include not writing.
All I can say about this is that two punches in the face is never better than one, and you're not proving a point by making a bad thing worse. Bad things don't become good when faced with worse things. Ball cancer isn't great when you get AIDS.
I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins.
I fucking love the human race we’re all a bunch of dopes.
I am an introvert. That means that when I’m feeling down, chances are that I won’t actually go to you for help. In fact, I won’t go to anyone for help. You’ll have to actually check on me. I don’t feel that I should burden others with my problems but if you come to me, I might just trust you enough to let you help.
1965: STOP…in the name of love
1989: STOP…collaborate and listen
2015: STOP…wait a minute
u ever procrastinate so hard u loop back around to being productive
like u will do literally anything but homework so u like clean ur entire house or some shit
cause of death: too shy to call ambulance
if tumblr is so accepting, then why is it that I, an octopus in a suit pretending to be a human father,
I’m really not worried about anything other than good grades and staying alive so if u feel like I’m ignoring u…..u right and u not that important
Now it has all the power of breakfast. We must destroy it!
You don’t have to throw people under the bus, you can just be the bus.
my drug dealer cracks me up
do i have writers block or did i never have any talent and just accidentally wrote something good that one time
Leather armour is best for sneaking, because it’s literally made of hide
I could kiss you! if you weren’t so short, and old, and ugly and smelly.
It seemed that the party had drawn in the whole of the town to come drink cheap fruit punch and stand around awkwardly.
When I say “please don’t take a picture of me” it’s not because I’m being bitchy and stubborn, it’s because if I see that picture I will seriously feel so bad about myself and think I am the ugliest thing on earth and sink a little deeper into self consciousness and hatred.
and before anyone says anything about selfies- those are controlled photos.
beauty and the beast au where belle’s dad is the one that breaks the spell by loving the beast like the son he never had
If H.R. Giger decided to become a homemaker instead of drawing penis landscapes and riding hilariously tiny trains, he'd probably have dreamt up this 1967 recipe, which unites the fertility of the orchard with crustaceans of the ocean.
-wears a dress-
someone: oooo who you lookin good for?
me: i was too lazy to match 2 pieces of clothing so here i am
Actually I love how I can say “I understand shit” and “I understand shit” and it can both mean “I understand everything” and “I understand nothing” English slang is horrific and if you’re not a native English speaker good luck this language is ridiculous
casually call people “human” to unsettle them and make them question what sort of being you are
Babe did you fall from heaven bc you seem to be a chaotic ever shifting sphere of eyes & wings making a sound not of this earth and I’m kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying
If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.
One time, another deputy and I were called to a bar for a disturbance, and upon arrival learned that my own grandmother got into a drunken altercation with another intoxicated senior citizen before throwing a bar stool through the front window. Resisting the urge to high-five her on the spot, we instead took both parties in for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and vandalism.
The law is the fucking law. That's a phrase I got used to saying a lot, especially while explaining to ex-classmates that no, I could not let them off with a warning for doing 60 in a 25 because "we went to school together!" Well, yeah. It's a small town. Everybody went to school together -- there's only one damn school.
Sex tip: If he’s pressuring you to do anal, buy a dildo the same size as his dick, and ask him to do it first. If he’s scared of the pain- case closed. There’s absolutely no reason that he should expect it to feel any differently for you. If he says that it would be emasculating, belittling or ‘gay’, then that man is a misogynistic homophobe, and you better run for the hills as fast as your legs can take you.
I wish that there was a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m having a bad mental health day and need you to pay attention to me,” without alienating everyone.
or: “I’m having a bad mental health day and need to be on my own for a while so please don’t be mad if I cancel our plans on short notice.”
It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life. You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.
When you start a job, WRITE DOWN THE DATE YOU STARTED. Also the date you ended, if it ended. Write down the address. Write down the supervisors name.
You have NO IDEA how many forms this will be on. Seriously. I dont care if you have to email it to yourself on your hello kitty email or something, write it down and keep it.
Also!! The date any promotion or pay raise is implemented!!
^^^ They seriously ask for this on so many job forms.
“did it hurt?”
--“did what hurt?”
“When you broke through the earths crust ascending from hell.”
a tEENAGER???… withPOLITCIAL OPINIONS?? no… politics for adults. this not affect you. go sit at kids table
(5 min later) this new generation of teenagers doesn’t care about anything besides parties and the internet
Amethyst has neglected her past commitments as the alligator
if you’re ever sad, remember that there’s a puppy somewhere with hiccups
this generation is so lazy! get off ur ass and start a war! or ruin the economy or something! how do i send an e-mail!
a conversation with a 96-year-old woman
96 yr old:You know how your parents probably say things like, "you were BORN with the internet, you don't know what it's like to live without!"
96 yr old:Well, my parents said that to me about electricity.
in 1790, about when the constitution was ratified, there was 4 million people in the United States and 13 states (26 senators). that’s one senator for every 150,000 people. now there’s 100 senators and about 320 million citizens. that’s one senator for every 3.2 million people. taking 3.2 million divided by 150,000 gives you 21.3. We are 21.3 times less represented now than we were 225 years ago
me:my job sucks
people:why don't you do what you enjoy
me:capitalism has determined that what I enjoy has no value
so your waiter makes a mistake..they might still have kids at home? paying off student loans? need to make rent this month? need to eat, need to survive? human error is no reason not to tip
the worst feeling is when you say bye to a group of friends but nobody answers so you just kind of walk away and nobody even realizes you’re gone
If I had any emotions I’d probably be crying right now.
person:i am uncomfortable with bad language--
kay!! that's fine!!
person:--because you are a girl and girls shouldnt talk like that
me:eat my entire ass!!!!
*rubs my feminist little hands all over nerd culture* does this upset you
ALSO I hear stories all the time in which the kitchen/a chef makes a mistake with the dish or a menu item runs out and the customer refusing to give a fair tip to the waiter as a result. The waiter is NOT the kitchen, don’t punish them for things that are out of their control!
"do you have a girlfriend?"
"no but sometimes people on the internet flirt with me and I have no idea how serious they are about it"
anti-choice couples calling each other fetus instead of baby bc to them it’s the same thing
middle school teachers be like “You’re not just gonna have a calculator on hand in the real world”
*pulls out smartphone*
starbucks dude: can I have your name?
starbucks dude: that’s a pretty name. do you have a number to go with it?
me, as I visibly text: no, I don’t own a phone.
Sorry I cant go out tonight I have an essay to write. Not that im going to write the essay tonight but I need to devote a certain amount of time to not doing an essay before I actually do it.
there are bugs that are literally, split down the middle, half male and half female, worms and snails that have both sets of genitalia, fish that just up and switch sexes when there’s a male or female space in their group that needs filling and you want me to believe that God hates all sorts of gender-bending in his children, I think you need to take a better look at God’s creation
funny how a mentally ill person is manipulative because they tell someone they are in pain but the people around them aren’t manipulative for setting up a giant complex system of rewards and punishments designed to get the mentally ill person to behave in certain ways. funny how that works
cis man:hello I am a 65 year old who would like testosterone treatments so I can continue to jerk it to pictures of girls who are way too young for me
insurance:that's a matter of quality of life! we'll pay for that
trans man:hi I-
There’s an old saying in show business: the show must go wrong.
Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.
you cannot rely on another person for your mental and emotional health.
I’m so sick of seeing people say “feminism is about *~*equality*~*!!!”
The end goal of feminism IS equality, but feminism itself is about liberation: from white supremacy, from homophobia, from sexism, and all other forms of oppressive thought and behavior.
Without first dismantling the systems that keep us oppressed, equality is impossible.
on one hand feminism does help men but on the other hand i want men to finally get it through their heads that a social movement doesn’t have to be aimed at benefiting them to be worthwhile
one part of the male gender role I can’t stand is thinking that being irritating and pissing women off is funny???? every man I’ve met thinks that’s hilarious and gets mad when I’m not into it. like why did no one teach them to shut the fuck up
Is that supposed to mean something??
----it means i am extremely lazy yes
It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?#friendly
reminder that I once put my statistics degree to good use and did some calculations about ship ratios#and yes considering the gender ratios of characters#the prevalence of gay ships is completely predictable
A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they’re useful messages. Like “remember you have yoga at 6 tonight”
once in 5th grade my mom bought me this set of like 200 glitter pens because I had mentioned that everyone at school was obsessed with them but I didn’t really care for them so the next day I brought them to class and kids started offering to buy them so I sold them for $3 each and I made almost $500 and then I got sent to the principals office and was told I couldn’t sell them anymore like sorry that I was a natural born entrepreneur
‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on
#’it’s just drizzling’ said the PE teacher opening an umbrella
“running for 20 minutes isn’t that bad”, said the PE teacher from the chair
‘you’ve got to stay healthy’ said the PE teacher eating a mars bar
“Being on your period is no excuse.” said the male PE teacher with no uterus
That fact that anyone working with food in America doesn’t have guaranteed paid sick days is a health hazard to the public.
no but for real, the CDC has said the leading cause of foodborne illness is the lack of sick days for people who work in the food industry and that it costs billions a year to the economy.
If your “tips on saving money” starts with assuming that I pay $5 for coffee everyday you already think I have more money than I do.
I am a positive person but I get really tired of aggressive optimism. If someone’s sad, let them be sad. All emotions have purpose. Sadness isn’t destructive if not prolonged. Sadness isn’t unproductive, as it offers awareness. Telling someone to “cheer up” or “be happy” is so ineffective and patronizing. The last thing a sad person needs is for someone to judge their feelings as pointless and unappealing. Welcome sadness, just don’t let it consume you.
what if the new animal species we discover each year are actually being dropped off by aliens? like they have an over abundance of yeti crabs or something and so they brought some to earth because they knew we’d get a kick out of this.
---This is the cutest conspiracy theory I’ve ever heard
Psst, feminists. The equal pay act of 1963 made wage gap illegal. Hear that? Illegal. Facts are shocking, right?
--you know what else is illegal? Meth. you know what people still do? meth
I love the word “fuckboy”. After so many years of constantly hearing “slut”, “skank”, and “whore” mainly used as insults against women, it’s great to have one specialized for men. It’s great that we’re coming together to call out annoying, perverted, irrelevant men by calling them “fuckboys”. I love it. More, please.
Yeah, I was going to go do that boring thing, but then I realized that grass was growing at my local park.
don’t drag me for bing a hoe, drag me for not being the best hoe i can be
hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue?
"IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!" MEN SHOUT
"NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!" WOMEN REPLY
“ayy slut, name a guy you haven’t fucked!”
“You, since children are underage.”
I just realized, Deadpool is a pansexual mercenary. That means he plays for all teams all the time
“It’s not so much a matter of putting on slash goggles as it is taking off your heteronormativity goggles. Slashers don’t “see slash” everywhere. They just apply the same standards to two men (or two women) on screen as they would to a man and a woman.”
i cant even watch a horror film without The Heteros trying to have sex in it
Tumblr is weird because some people are freshmen in high school and some people have already graduated college and have a job and we’re all just conversing like age isn’t even a thing.
A man walks into a store to buy shampoo. He walks down the hair care aisle and spots a pink shampoo bottle that promises to give you luscious locks. The man is determined, for his hair lacks luster. He asks the nearest store clerk, “Will this work for men? It’s pink, so I’m not sure.” The store clerk looks at the man, then at the shampoo. He shrugs his shoulders in ignorance. The man resolves to purchase the shampoo anyway.
After arriving at his humble abode, the man takes a shower with his new shampoo. He opens the bottle and tries to pour the soapy substance into his hand, but alas; the shampoo refuses to fall onto his manly skin.
The man crumples down in utter defeat, sobbing as the shower water softly cascades down his rippling shoulders. The shampoo will never work for him, for he is a man, and the shampoo he bought is unfortunately in a pink bottle. “I should have known,” he cries out in a whimper. “I should have known.”
The worst thing about the “friendzone” isn’t that some poor guy didn’t get to have sex with the girl he likes even though he’s such a nice guy, it’s that some poor girl finds out one of her friends was only trying to be close to her with the hopes of getting in her pants. Any idea what that does to someone’s self-worth? Or are you too busy lamenting your unrewarded sense of entitlement? Fight me on this. I’m angry tonight and I will bite your throat out.
I was asking myself just now why they have “16 and pregnant” but not “16 and impregnated a girl” but I realized it would be pretty boring to watch a 16 year old boy play video games and go to school and live life as normal
boys get so much reward for being so mediocre. “omg my boyfriend doesnt hate me when I forget to shave my legs! he is so special! ily bby!”
Men had no problem violating women’s bodies while they had on corsets, petticoats and farthingales, so what the fuck makes you think a short skirt has anything to do with it?
Men also have no problem violating women’s bodies while they wear a niqab, hijab and burqa, some of the most covered form of clothing. So basically, what the fuck makes you think clothes have anything to do with it?
Some of you didn’t know a lot of fraternities were notoriously racist? Isn’t that one of the things they’re all classically known for, alongside excessive beer drinking, date rape, deadly hazing rituals, the ability to get away with most crimes once a rich alum throws enough money around, and post-college cronyism?
You stabbed me, and then pretended like you were the one bleeding.
Tackle men wearing jerseys, because they are asking for it due to what they’re wearing.
“If I didn’t have depression I’d have fucking straight A’s in every class every semester; the classes are easy and I’m not stupid but I can’t concentrate through the sadness.
If I didn’t have depression I’d have read 3 times the amount of books I’ve read; I would still love reading like I had before depression took away my ability to enjoy anything and everything.
If I didn’t have depression I would be able to sit down and watch tv or sit in class and not feel unbearably sad for no other reason than my mind isn’t being kept well enough distracted from the horrible thoughts and feelings that I work so hard to keep pushed down.
If I didn’t have depression maybe I’d know what it’s like to be happy.”
no im totally not a lesbo my super actual husband is dick allcocks from man island, i’m megahet
i need meninism because how else would i know which boys to avoid
Government Secret #47 We created meninism to figure out which men shouldn’t reproduce
When the dragon age concludes, the next century will be called the “A suspicious lack of dragons” age.
The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I hate everyone equally, and there’s no one alive who could comprehend my sexual preference.#okay
so #THIS IS LITERALLY ALL I WANTED after that fucking episode with her happily going off to have drinks with the men #because
they never EVER accepted her as an equal #they
merely shifted their perception of her from one lesser being to another #even
sousa’s perception of her is degrading even if arguably more positive #and she KNOWS all this #and she was going to accept it if it meant they could all at least get along #it’s a way to get through the day #but look how aware of it she is #when
not even that recasting in their minds is working for her #isn’t giving her what she actually wants #not
drinks with the men #but actual fucking recognition that she is a person who can make a contribution #thank
you show #this is the payoff that i wanted
When a man complains that “women are complicated” he really means “women are nothing like the cookie cutter archetypes that I formed in my head and I’ve discovered that every woman is an individual and they don’t come with a manual and that confuses me. I have to actually see them as human beings and interact with them as such?”
Men like to use the excuse “but boys get raped too” when they hear women talking about their personal experience’s. First “boy’s get raped” should be it’s own sentence. If you’re only acknowledging their trauma to silence female survivors, then you’re a scumbag.
Do you ever find that certain diseases only happen in certain ethnic groups? For example, I could never be a kleptomaniac. Cus do you know what a black kleptomaniac is called? A theif.
On average, you have a 1 in 18,989 chance of being murdered
A trans person has a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered
The average life span of a cis person is about 75-90
The average life expectancy of a trans person is 23-30 years old
75% of people killed in anti LGBT hate crimes are poc
Protect your transsexual friends, family, and neighbors.
Support asexual guys who are constantly thrown under the bus at the expectation that they, as men, should be ruthless sex-seeking hounds.
Support bisexual guys who are erased, silenced, and called gay no matter how many times they come out.
Support pansexual guys who are overwhelmingly ignored for having a “fake” sexuality.
Support guys with rare sexualities who are knocked down again and again for not fitting stereotypes.
So I was talking to a boy today and called him “dude” and he goes, “Hey, I’m not your dude. I want to go by bro.” And the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘wow, he has preferred bronouns’.
Like when ppl are trying to get fucked up why choose a beer when you could have I dunno whipped cream flavored vodka????????
----Try to tell this to a German
We don’t like girly drinks.
What the fuck is a girly drink how do drinks have a gender a dude ain’t got fucked up taste buds to know beer is nasty and whipped cream tastes fuckin good..
(in response to a photograph of black children being shown off in literal human zoo’s )
1958 THESE ARE SOME OF YOUR GRANDPARENTS!!!!
"slavery was hundreds of years ago. get over it"
shut THE fuck up. 56 years ago black children were zoo attractions.
the same thing is happening in india as of LAST YEAR. Native Jarwawa peoples are tracked down like creatures on a safari and are forced to dance for food. x
fuck you. fuck yourself. fuck your “reverse racism”.
If my kid cant bring peanut butter to school then yours shouldn’t be allowed to bring preventable diseases #stopanitvaccers
My son, who is 4, and I were walking along the street today and saw a man with his left leg amputated beneath the knee. My son spun around and looked at him, then said to me, “That man lost his leg! What happened?”
I said I didn’t know exactly, but sometimes people lost arms or legs through accidents or didn’t have them for other reasons.
My son instantly said, “Gobber (from How to Train Your Dragon) lost his arm AND his leg and now he has to use tools in their places!”
I kind of collected my jaw and said, “That’s right, and that man is just like Gobber. There’s a special word we use for those kinds of tools. It’s ‘prosthetics’.”
"Prosthetics," said my son, with satisfaction, and on we went without any further discussion about it.
But then we got on the bus, and there was a young black woman with her hair pulled back in a big floofy afro ponytail, and my son, who has seen the trailers for the new Annie movie, said, in delight, “She has hair like Annie’s!”
School system fucked so bad that students and teachers literally hope and pray for dangerous weather conditions to get out of going.
You ask your parents what your number 1 priority in life should be: They say “School”
Ask your teacher? They say “Homework”
Ask your coach? They say “Your game skill”
No one ever says “happiness” or “mental health”. Why is that not number one?. That goody-two shoe, varsity player with straight A’s could be suicidal. Why can’t people see that.
during math class I always thought “when am i ever going to use this in real life!!” and yet now here i am, using math to calculate the minimum number of ants it would take to carry me around places
i will never be impressed by anything the jenner girls do… they’ve been handed literally everything to them… i saw a twitter post that was like “kylie jenner just bought a $2.7 million house. what were YOU doing when you were 17?” like what why are you trying to make me feel inadequate i am going to school!!! i am getting an education!!! i’m just tryna live my life!!! leave me alone!!!
Schools: We take bullying very seriously
Me: I’m being bullied
Schools: Sorry we can’t do anything about it unless there is proof
Schools: This was so tragic and could have been prevented always reach out to us for help we care
Students:We still don't even know how to get checked into a hospital or how to pay taxes.
ut??? you know algebra!
My school’s financial aid office is literally telling us to stop eating lunch so we can pay for our education.
unless your teachers are abusive assholes there is no fucking reason to disrespect them
they are literally trying their hardest to get you an education
teachers have every right to complain about rude students or the amount of papers they have to grade because their salary is low as shit
oh wow, your math teacher yelled at you because you were ignoring the lesson and talking to your friend
i wonder why
jesus christ teachers have it hard enough dont be an asshole
“Hey young people, now’s the time to get married and have kids!”
--Hey Old People: Fix the Economy, Pay Me, Or Stop Fucking Whining About All That Shit We Cant Afford To Do Thanks To You Assholes.
"I can’t do that because of my religion" Aight
"You can’t do that because of my religion" Stop
My sister is a lesbian and im gay but our parents are very conservative, so she “dates” my bf and I “date” her gf, so if they stay over they stay in opposite rooms, but jokes on my parents.
So my dad has new clients and their son is transgender. He got pregnant with his boyfriend and put the baby up for adoption and the baby was adopted by a gay couple….which means that his baby daughter has 4 dads and no mom.
This kid is going to own at the ‘my dad can beat up your dad’ game.
"My dads can out-barbershop quartet your dads"
Fun Fact: Just because you may be very knowledgeable about a subject doesn’t mean that other people who aren’t as informed are stupid. There is never a need to attack or degrade someone simply because they don’t understand something.
we Americans act really cocky and assholey about freedom to hide the fact that our government is crumbling and nobody is actually free so please give us this one day to be annoying about it
--- Kinda feel bad for poor Americans now. A bit like the asshole kid who you realise is only acting like that cuz their parents are cruel and neglectful.
------That’s painfully accurate.
Why I often don’t think it’s funny when men make jokes about that their lives are over once they’re married:
-No man is forced to get married. But thousands of girls and women are forced to marry someone they don’t love or even know every fucking year.
-There are thousands of couples all over the world who would give everything to be allowed to marry the person they love.
-It’s fucking disrespectful to your wife.
Some of y’all mother fuckers on here are beyond needing Jesus, we’re gonna have to go all the way back to Norse Mythology to find the specific pagan God that will fix your shit.
"You would rather talk to your friends than your own parents????"
Well, yeah, because at least I know that my friends won’t make fun of my views and mock me when I stand up for something. When they do, however, at least they apologize.
My friends dont hold the power to take away my hobbies as punishment if I say something they don’t agree with
My friends don’t hold the power to send me away to isolation if I don’t agree with them
as a parent it is your god damn fucking job to look after your children stop treating your children like they are burdens
you signed up to have a child, the child did not sign up to have you as a parent
keep this in mind. do not expect your children to immediately give you back all the things you give them. they are children. love them. cherish them. treat them well.
never forget that all this encouragement by feminists for women to take up space, be loud and assertive and noncomplacent is not just for cis women , but for trans women as well.
Never fall into the trap of treating trans women who show an inkling of assertion she’ll have “male socialization”, “the male is showing”, “you’ll never pass like that”
"When did you decide to be gay?"
Last week. I woke up and I was like I want to be judged and not accepted by most of society and denied basic human rights. I thought it would be fun to not be allowed to get married and to be called rude names when I’m with the person I love. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?
“How about we go out and settle this like emotionally stunted men?
Forget the bouncers. Forget our friends. It’s just gonna be you, me, and our fragile egos that render us incapable of dealing with conflict in a socially responsible manner."
If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.
If you ever cheat on somebody I hope your chest burns with regret and you realize you’ve fucked up somebody’s view on relationships.
look I totally love girls and stuff but being friends with girls who aren’t feminists is so fucking exhausting like Idgaf that Suzy sucked dick for a McChicken last night Debra mind yo damn business
Oh my god youre straight? I had no idea. You seem normal to me. Did you know that Sara is straight to? You two should totally hook up. I cant believe youre straight. You could be my straight best friend. We could go to football games together. Itll be so much fun. So like how long have you been straight? Youre whole life!? No way.
Straight people:no you're not allowed to do that because you're not us.
Lgbt community://makes their own group for equal rights
Straight people:UM, I WANT TO BE APART OF THAT. IT'S FOR EQUAL RIGHTS. THAT's NOT FAIR BECAUSE WE'RE NOT IN IT!!! i was bullied once.
(try not to ever sound like this)
dear 'straight pride' people: i’ll trade you. you can have the damn parade, and i’ll be safe, accepted in society, and have my basic human rights given to me without question.
Gay Person:I'm gay
Straight Person:I don't care as long as you don't hit on me [forced laughter]
on't worry about that, you're not really my type anyway.
Straight Person:wat the fcuk did u just say
ppl who make fun of people who like sweet coffee w/ cream or whatever in it are so Weird. im sorry i dont like Bitter Bean juice by itself u pompous turd
Asshole client on Skype. You wouldn’t accuse ANYONE in ANY other profession of just being ‘in it for the money’, but people accuse sex workers of this shit all of the time. You wouldn’t complain to your stylist that they should give you a free haircut because they care about you and then when they don’t complain that they’re “just in it for the money”. Of course i’m in it for the money!!! And I never said otherwise either.
remember when you weren’t aware of oppressive power structures and all u wanted was a lavalamp ??
Some ticks carries a disease, so we’re supposed to avoid them all.
Some sharks bite people, so we’re supposed to always be cautious in the ocean.
Some snakes are venomous, so if you can’t decide whether it’s deadly or not, assume deadly.
But no, not all men
“What’s stopping you from-”
Money is what is stopping me. It is what is stopping everyone my age.
So please stop asking that stupid fucking question when you already know the answer and help us do something about it.
i wish men understood that when women are talking about feminism and rape culture and shit, it’s not just a political conversation. it’s not about being a “social justice warrior” or whatever. it’s about our actual lives being shaped by misogyny since childhood, and the daily reality of living in fear of violence. this isn’t a fucking game or philosophical debate. this is our fucking lives.
on one hand feminism does help men but on the other hand i want men to finally get it through their heads that a social movement doesn’t have to be aimed at benefiting them to be worthwhile
i think it really speaks for the sexism in our society that “girls” is a very close synonym to “women” but if you called a group of men “boys” you would be insulting their character. why are women allowed to be infantalized?
I’m anti-feminist for many of the same reasons I’m an atheist.
-So you don’t believe women exist? Its okay. I’m an atheist because I don’t believe in something I can’t see or touch. I suppose women are much like that for you.
“Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.”
Oh yeah? Because female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.
Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.
i have a friend who has been taking birth control since she was 12 because she’s anemic and if she didn’t take it she would bleed out excessively during her period and end up in the hospital
dont fucking tell me that birth control isn’t crucial to people
can we stop blaming poor people for buying cheap products that were made in sweatshops? can we stop acting like alternatives to products that are made through things like child labor are always accessible and/or affordable? can we stop talking like participation in the game of capitalism is always a choice made willingly and not something poor people are forced to play a part in even when they don’t want to?
“We never say that all men deserve to feel beautiful. We never say that each man is beautiful in his own way. We don’t have huge campaigns aimed at young boys trying to convince them that they’re attractive, probably because we very rarely correlate a man’s worth with his appearance. The problem is that a woman’s value in this world is still very much attached to her appearance, and telling her that she should or deserves to feel beautiful does more to promote that than negate it. Telling women that they “deserve” to feel pretty plays right in to the idea that prettiness should be important to them. And having books and movies aimed at young women where every female protagonist turns out to be beautiful (whereas many of the antagonists are described in much less flattering terms) reinforces the message that beauty has some kind of morality attached to it, and that all heroines are somehow pretty.”
"cisphobia is a problem too!"
well your problem doesn’t have a body count
your problem isn’t being portrayed as a joke or an illness
your problem isn’t being terrified of your own loved ones and what they could do to you because of your gender
your problem isn’t conversion therapy to make you something you’re not
your problem doesn’t even Fucking exist outside of tumblr!
““But I’m just being honest!”
That’s right. You are just being honest. You are not being compassionate, or considerate, or thoughtful, or loving, or polite, or even pleasant. Just. Honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic. But so much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted, and a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go such a long way toward making it valuable and constructive feedback rather than a shattering blow that can only be forgiven, not forgotten.”
So no, that is no excuse, and it only goes to show the point that most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality much more than the honesty.
Duh-DoSers try to claim the moral high ground by turning you into a human Google. But they don't win when they're ignored. If I stand in the street and start demanding that passersby prove gravity, I'm not a flying wizard when nobody can be bothered.
The Semantic Quo is an extended waste of time. Because when someone's arguing semantics from the side of the status quo, wasting time is all they need to do.
This imperfection attack is digging through someone's Internet history to see if they've ever said anything less than perfect. Because the only allowed options are immaculate saint or total asshole.
This attack assumes that only saints and particularly blessed Buddhas are deserving of even the most basic human rights or empathy.
Victim-accusation isn't an impartial quest for truth or "hearing both sides." It's piling extra pressure on the victim as standard operating procedure.
While accusations of sexism apparently require a Supreme Court ruling as a cited source, accusations of faking sexism need no support whatsoever. "I'm just looking for proof," smiles the scumbag. "I'm just calling every woman a liar and acting like that's the unbiased course of action, instead of proof of the problem I'm denying, and if there was any justice in existence I would cease to do so."
These magical conspiratorial women would have to be faking more electronic output than the Matrix. And that's a movie where they killed almost every major female character. Sometimes twice! Demonstrate a specific example of someone clearly receiving threats of sexual violence and they'll say, "Oh yeah, but she deserves it." Which means that all accusations are either false or deserved, or, in other words, there is no such thing as an attack on women that this asshole will not find justified. Which is the worst possible truth someone can have.
Assholes act as if anger in response to centuries of systematic oppression is equal to centuries of systematic oppression, and the two cancel out. "Maybe if you were nicer about asking," they say, and it's impossible to respond properly, because only comic characters can scream so loudly it ruptures their eardrums and pulps their skulls.
"Maybe if you were nicer about the constant stream of poison you're subjected to, I'd consider not pissing into it." Someone being aggressive in reaction to sexist abuse isn't attacking anyone. Someone being aggressive in reaction to sexist abuse is reacting to sexist abuse. The tactic of getting women as mad as possible and then acting innocent was developed by studying 6-year-old boys. No, sorry, being 6-year-old boys.
It's another way of reframing an urgent discussion of sexual equality as a patriarchal indulgence. "Asking nicely" is for a child who wants more ice cream: an inferior petitioner begging the favor of a stern authority figure for something they don't really need but think would be nice.
The kicker is that deploying the nicer detonator is the best possible way to trigger an explosion of anger. A result the asshole uses to smugly prove to themselves who the real problem is, infuriatingly unaware of how they've truly done that.
"Feminazi" is a real timesaver, because someone saying that just freed you from listening to them ever again. It's such a specific strawman that it has its own name. But the term "feminazi" is far too evocative and powerful a phrase for this phantom. I suggest the term "boogeywoman," reducing the concept to the appropriate level of maturity and power.
Those who fear the boogeywoman claim feminism is a crusade of man-hating assholes, instead of a struggle against a patriarchal system that damages men as well as women. But don't worry, there's a useful quick check to find out if someone's an asshole, and it works on both sides: Ask them how they feel about transgender people. That'll identify who truly cares about equality and who's just being an asshole real quick.
Even if a woman is mean to you, boohoo. You can't dismiss an entire concept because one supporter is an asshole. If "one of them was a jerk" was reason enough to censor entire concepts, men would have become extinct long ago, along with every political and sociological concept ever conceived. I've met dickhead professors of quantum mechanics, but that doesn't mean my computer stops working.
"How can you be complaining about this when there are starving children in Africa? Starving children I'm doing less than nothing to help, because merely nothing would be ignoring them. But I'm specifically pointing out that I know about them to use them as underfed weapons against things I actually care about."
I'm not saying you should punch people who use this tactic in the face, steal their wallet, and spend all the money on charity donations and sweet victory whiskey. Technically, they're saying that, since by their own argument nobody is allowed to complain about anything if they're not reincarnated into one of the worst situations on the planet.
Nobody is allowed to complain about anything except the young and starving, and they're not allowed to complain about anything unless they're the youngest and most starving, all the way down to one tragic soul who can't help but notice that nobody's actually bloody doing anything about the situation.
"I'm not a feminist, I'm an equalist." They're not an equalist, they're an asshole. This doesn't bring enlightened impartiality to the problem, it smugly pretends to bring enlightened superiority to the problem while implying that silly women are being distracted from the wider picture by their own selfishness.
Equalists claim we must tackle all bad things everywhere but start by derailing the discussion of even one of them. Entering a centuries-long struggle affecting billions of lives, their opener is, "Heh, let me fix this cute little mistake you made." Even if they had a point, and they really don't, their first priority is branding.
Imagine being on fire, running up to a firefighter screaming for help, and they hook their hands in their pockets and say, "Actually, before we start, I think you should say you're violently oxidizing. Not all oxidization is bad. I mean, some of my cells are performing oxidation right now, and I think it would be better if we ..." Your last act would be to SET THAT PERSON ON FIRE.
Feminism is gendered not because women want to be treated better in the future but because they're being treated worse right now. Insisting on "equalism" means defining yourself by ignoring that fact. As if sexism, street harassment, pay differences, and rape threats affect genders equally. But the only way everyone could be affected equally is if we were conquered by the universe's worst aliens. And should we enter that dark space-future, and you get the job as commander of Babylon 5 with its dozens of alien races, then sure, equalism will be the way to go. But here on Earth we have a gender spectrum with two definite poles, and one of them is clearly treated worse than the other.
It's amazing how many people are prepared to publicly be on the wrong side of progress. We have never looked back on any part of history and said, "Actually, we were totally right to diminish and ignore the complaints of that mistreated demographic group. That wasn't a humiliating monstrosity at all!"
Feminism is the idea that women should have equal rights. Anyone claiming otherwise is explaining what's wrong with themselves instead.
everyone in movie/TV land has spectacular health insurance, apparently. One of the characters in the slacker comedy Workaholics (who works part time as a telemarketing clerk) had to be rushed to the hospital after a wacky misadventure resulted in him getting impaled in the abdomen by a trophy. He recuperates on the sofa under the influence of strong painkillers later, but they don't show him going to the pharmacy counter to get those pills. Yeah, they can't turn you away at the emergency room, but if you show up to the pharmacy with no money, you're not getting the medicine unless you have a gun and a ski mask.
Otherwise, you just sit there, in pain. And when I say "sit there," I mean at work, not at home -- there's no way that guy's job comes with lots of paid sick days. See, that's what having a shitty cubicle job is really like: It involves multiple stretches of sitting in that chair even when you're in so much pain that you long for the sweet release of death.
In tv land, hourly wage earners live like professionals, and professionals live like millionaires
That choice that virtually all of us have to make -- nice house or car vs. free time and a social life -- simply doesn't exist for them.
you know what I've never seen happen in a movie or sitcom, ever? A character being unable to get somewhere because they can't afford gas, or can't afford a car repair.
Every sitcom occasionally will do a "change of scenery" episode -- usually to Las Vegas or some tropical location, and usually during sweeps. They may wind up having some financial catastrophe while they're there (a gambling mishap, a hilarious accidental marriage), but the cost of the travel itself will never get mentioned. When Friends wanted to do an episode in Las Vegas, they just cut to everyone on the plane, as if last-minute tickets from New York to Las Vegas are the price of a subway token and not freaking $2,000 (and then there's the hotel, meals, cab fare, etc.). The crew on Scrubs dropped everything to go to the janitor's wedding in the Bahamas. When the fictional version of Louis C.K. got the urge, he took a spontaneous trip to China. When the wage slaves on Workaholics want to go to Jamaica, they go.
And this is so much worse than the "gas is free" thing above because in real life, the price of a plane ticket forces us to make some horrible choices. In a TV drama, if there's some emotional situation in which a character can't be at a wedding, or a funeral, or a parent's death bed, it's for plot/character reasons ("I'm still in love with her!" "I just can't forgive him for what he did to us!" "It's too hard seeing him like this!"). In real life, you miss that shit because you can't afford the trip.
In a recent episode of Broad City -- maybe the best comedy on TV right now -- one of the struggling, 20-something girls (both of whom work part-time customer service jobs) goes on a wacky misadventure while under the influence of pain medication. She winds up at Whole Foods and accidentally buys $1,500 worth of random items, putting them on a credit card. Probably 120 hours of labor went up in smoke right there, and they'll never mention it again. That's the kind of shit that, in my life, would have kept me up nights.
And that, right there, is what I envy most about fictional characters. It's the most important fantasy Hollywood tries to sell us, and I believe it's the biggest reason middle class people tend to shit on the poor: In TV and movies, even the poorest of the poor have room to mess up and still come back from it. In real life, those kind of second chances are what most poor people would kill for.
Read more: www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-ho…
no matter how dumb their decisions, no matter how costly the failure, they're in exactly the same spot the next week, as if there is no level you can fail to beyond, "struggling, but getting by." They never lose their homes, the bank doesn't seize their businesses, and they don't have to take a second job instead of sleeping. They have room to try things, take risks, and get hurt, because, after all, that's what defines all fictional protagonists: They act. They keep pushing and experimenting. That's what makes them heroes.
But that, friends, is what a long stretch of real-life poverty can beat out of you.
I think this is the part of poverty that is the hardest to understand from the outside: The sheer weight of knowing you won't get those second chances, and how risk-averse it forces you to be. After I failed at one career, I took out $9,000 in loans to take certification classes in another. It turned out I sucked at that, too. And ... that was it. I was out of chances -- no more student loans (the payments were already higher than I could afford), and my credit cards were maxed out. I got bailed out by a laughably unlikely series of events, but had that not happened, there would have been no bold attempts to move away, or start my own business (though I remember looking seriously into several bullshit pyramid schemes intended to gouge desperate people just like me). Those kind of chances take money. That's why the lottery is such a cruel tax on the poor -- it specifically preys on people who are out of options, but still want a way out of that life.
Then, the rich will look at them and shake their head and say, "See? This is why they're poor! They keep blowing their money on lotto tickets and Amway schemes instead of making sound investments." Like ... what? Education? I totally tried that! And even then, it only worked because I had a family member willing to co-sign the loans, and I didn't have to worry about child care.
And this is my point -- I can't help but think that the reason the rich and middle class find poverty so confounding is that they have that Hollywood version of poor people in mind: easygoing stoners and drunks with nice apartments and tons of free time, who have unlimited access to transportation and are held back only by an inability to make sound, long-term decisions. Why would you ever feel sorry for those people? Why would you ever help them? They should get off their asses and just go get a high-paying job writing greeting cards.
Read more: www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-ho…
Basically, without Marcia the movie never would've caught on as anything but another forgettable '70s schlock adventure with a better-than-normal soundtrack, but she was completely written out of Star Wars history by a messy divorce shortly after Empire Strikes Back was released (in fact, the production of Empire had been, in part, an attempt to save their marriage).
In a completely unrelated coincidence, no one made a good Star Wars movie ever again.
"girls mature faster than boys"
but that’s cause we’re expected to though
its bc we’re not seen as forgivable, we’re not allowed to make mistakes and grow through them, our immaturity is unattractive and annoying, whereas a boy’s immaturity is a respected stage. we’re held to a higher standard not bc we are respected more, but for the exact opposite, we just arent worth the trouble. we’re shoved into the role of care taker and door mat since day one. our purpose is to not stand in the way of male development or happiness. our health and happiness is not the priority.
"I expect that from the boys, but not from you" — I heard that so. often. as a kid. But you know what? I probably would have told you that gender inequality wasn’t a thing anymore, if you’d asked me as a ten-year-old. Because I was so fucking inured to the countless microaggressions I dealt with as a girl that I didn’t even notice them. When teachers said shit like this, it was unfair like rain on your beach day was unfair - it was unfathomable that this kind of unfairness could be changed.
How many little girls are being told right now, in how many different ways, that they are expected to be a pleasant-looking backdrop, a sweet-tempered supporter to the boys around them?
How many little boys are being told right now, in how many different ways, that they can do whatever the fuck they want at the expense of the girls around them?
And how is that affecting them and the kind of people they’ll be as adults? How is it shaping their instinctive beliefs about how women should be treated?
(Potentially helpful for an offenderman storyline?)
The backlog of rape kits has put justice on hold for a lot of people. Back in 2009, more than 11,000 untested kits were found in a Detroit Police Department storage facility. Some were more than 25 years old.
Mariska Hargitay speaks on some of the issues surrounding the rape kit backlog in Detroit, Michigan. #endthebacklog
It costs between $1,000 – $1,500 to test every single rape kit. There are over 10,000 kits left in Detroit’s rape kit backlog. Your donation can go directly to testing them. Donate to the Detroit Crime Commission’s backlog initiative by clicking here.
I am pretty explicitly anti-police in every respect. But I support Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy and her push to catalogue the egregious backlog of unprocessed rape kits in Detroit.
Her work has already identified countless serial rapists in southeast Michigan, and will continue to identify these rapist pieces of shit as she moves forward.
Who cares if this process leads to conviction or not. Just give us the list. We can take care of the rest.
"After Detroit tested the first 10% of its backlogged kits, authorities were able to link cases to 46 serial rapists." (x)
Just think about it: 46 serial rapists. And the evidence against them was out there, all the time, in those backlogged kits. And that’s just 10% of them
And as for states who let these rape kits go so untested, that is like saying rapists get a free pass to rape in that state “Oh well have the dna evidence, we’ll know you did it, but don’t worry about it because we cant be bothered to prosecute you.”