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About Varied / Student Member i perfer to remain anonymousFemale/United States Group :iconthe-smexy-slender: The-Smexy-Slender
Don't take the rose...
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Well, Offenderman has been getting really popular hasn't he? certainly been a pretty awesome thing to have happened, but it has come with a number of downside's.

Primary of which being that it's making it increasingly hard to chat with all you newcomers to the fandom :dummy:

So to help deal with this, i'd like as many of you as possible to try to ask your question's and have whatever conversations you'd like to have with me here, where I promise to answer you at least once.


So ask away :iconblushingplz:

Activity


"you bet your sweet ass!"
*bets ass*
*wins a million butts*
nice



If its inaccessible to the poor it’s neither radical nor revolutionary



“You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside themselves quietly.”



May you write 1,500 words with ease. May your characters be lively and not cardboard. May you need little editing. May your muse visit you as soon as you sit. May the Internet not distract you much. May your phone lie dormant while you write.


   I can tell myself all day, “be heartless, fuck em” but in all reality, I have a big ass heart, and can’t treat people bad, that’s just not me.



the gothest sentence in existence: “Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob.


Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason.



Artist starter pack
notebook paper to draw on, pencil to draw with, trashcan to throw the majority of your drawings away, and tissues to cry with.



a NSFW blog but instead of porn it’s just pictures of unsafe work practices like standing on chairs and using staplers improperly.

   mom can i borrow money to buy you a present



   In roleplay land we don’t say I love you, we share painful headcanons and send eight thousand meme responses a day and I think that’s beautiful.



#Oh god that would be aweful!! #LETS DO IT


   does anyone else have days where they just get stressed out from just being spoken to
like you jsut come out of your room and someone could say something totally nice and well meaning to you and you can’t help but feel like “aaaahHH LEAVE ME ALONE”


The surging oil finally drops in pressure enough for you to get up to the signal fire. There's a steady burble of crude oil underneath the pyre, and flammable fumes shimmer above it. You bang a couple of rocks together until you get the attention of a passing interstellar starship, which lights the pyre for you with its photon beam. Success!


This is a ghost who picked up a sheet off of one of the pieces of furniture in here, making it a very convincing ghost in a very unconvincing ghost costume.


You squat down and cluck your tongue cheerfully at the turtle until it waddles over to see what's wrong with you.


Used in the ancient native ritual "Let's Sell Some Ugly Crap To Tourists".


Be the kind of person people write books about


“It’s always surprising to me how many young women think they have to be perfect. I rarely meet a young man who doesn’t think he already is.”


   
   At 17, I was a depressed teenager who self harmed and wondered about just how painful it could possibly be to end my life. Right now, I’m laying on the couch, and I can hear my husband reading our four year old a bedtime story using silly voices.
Life gets better. Make sure you’re there to see it.



“We blame society, but we are society.”


“It is a mark of maturity when someone hurts you, and you try to understand them.”


Mistakes are proof that you’re trying.



Things that need to stop: autism only being represented as white eight-year old boys who know a lot about trains and airplanes.



Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?”And I was like “yeah”And he was like “huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday” And I just laughed for like 5 minutes
 Diversity only makes dads stronger. More powerful. the dad jokes are evolving



   "you can’t hate someone for being rude to your friend-"
excuse fucking me. my friends are the best thing that have ever happened to me. don’t expect me to sit around and watch as some asshole disrespect them and expects me to still like them.



   I bet our entire universe is in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in some alien child’s room as a science project he got a C on.



   How I met your father:  So basically I was in a barn and then he walks in, and obviously, the first thing I do is stab him. It didn’t work lol and now we’re married.



           if artistic people are forced to take years of math and science then why don’t sciencey people have to take art and music classes
And if you’re “bad” at art and music, then “it’s okay, not everyone has an aptitude for those kinds of things” but if you’re bad at math and science, then “you’re not smart/you’re not trying hard enough”


"Would you rather crash on a friend’s couch or the freeway?" would be a good campaign slogan against drinking and driving.



you ever thought that maybe the reason girls say they’re fine when they’re not, or they’re not mad when they are, is because the second they show any semblance of emotion they’re written off as hysterical bitches that are probably on their period?




It always gets me when MRAs bring up the draft as an example of discrimination against men. Yes, it’s true that no woman in America has ever been subject to conscription in times of war; however, being that the most recent draft was in 1973, most likely neither have you. If you get to drag up stuff that happened before you were born, so does everybody else - and I’m pretty sure the ladies are going to win that particular game of misery poker.



I think we should start putting less pressure on gay people to ‘come out’ and more pressure on straight people to stop assuming everyone’s sexuality is fucking straight


   I met a couple Australians this weekend and they introduced me to what is possibly the greatest phrase in the English language. Apparently, a common response to a wide variety of questions is “I’m not here to fuck spiders”. It means “I’m already doing that” or “Obviously, yeah”. So like, example usage:

   At the bar with a friend.
   Friend: do you want to get a beer?
   Me: well, I’m not here to fuck spiders.




       why are girls expected to go through an experimental lesbian phase but u never hear about dudes goin gay for a while whats up w/ that
----cause that would be realllllly weird, unlike girls doing it. guys actually like when girls do it.
do me a favor and staple all your fingertips together




headphones with antlers: The ultimate in “don’t talk to me” technology because if people keep trying to talk to you, you can just spear them in the eye.



You know those snake creature things all over Sen’s Fortress that shoot lightning at you? I was recently informed that they’re called Serpent Mages. They had the opportunity to name them Lizard Wizards and they didn’t take it. Smh…



let's talk about the physical affects of chronic anxiety because they're hardly ever acknowledged         upset stomach and vomiting
ulcers
muscle aches
chronic fatigue
hormonal problems
irregular menstrual cycles
insomnia
infections
lowered immune system
migraines
shortness of breath
dizziness
heart palpitations
teeth-grinding
rashes
it is a lot more than just “feeling anxious “


   The villain has the hero at gunpoint. Everything seems lost. Then the hero has an amazing idea: Make them talk. So the hero says “Now since I am as good as dead, tell me: Why are you doing this?”
   The villain smiles and shoots him. Plot twist: the villain is fucking smart



I don’t know why anyone would assume I have any authority to comment on that.



The pilgrims were American colonists who escaped persecution in England in order to pursue the dream of persecuting people themselves.


   the only ship i need is a scholarship can i get a hallelujah


“Large hair monster intrudes loving family dinner.”


“Afro Princess shows off her magnificent oven mitts.”



   Me:*tries to go to bed at a reasonable time*
   Me:ah yes
   Me:4am
   Me:perfect




Reblog if you dont shave your legs everyday. I just want everyone to see how unrealistic some expectations are.
--who the fuck shaves their legs everyday?
-----It’s winter. I need protection from the elements.



   Remember that reddit post that was going around several months ago about the dude who wanted an open relationship with his girlfriend because he wanted to date “hotter” women than his fat girlfriend but then when she agreed she was dating tons of hot guys and he couldn’t get a single woman to date him so he wanted to close the relationship because he thought it was unfair?
Sometimes I think about that and it gives me life.  




  bae:tell me your wildest fantasy
   me:i'm financially stable in a job that i love with great opportunities for career advancement. i live in a modest home with a good sized yard and a fence for my dogs, there are hardly any problems with the home, but sometimes the garbage disposal clogs. the fridge and pantry are never empty and when they're getting low, i can go to the grocery store at my leisure. my pre-owned car never makes funny noises and when it does, i have the money to take it to the mechanic. i am in good health and most days, i have the energy to carry out my daily tasks and do some things i enjoy as well.


15 different kinds of love
Infatuation- loving feelings towards a love object that are largely based upon fantasy and idealization (instead of experience). Often when partners get to know each other, infatuation diminishes.
Romantic Love- An abiding love for a partner with whom you feel passion, attraction, caring and respect.
Eros- a passionate love usually involving sexual feelings for a love interest.
Companionate Love- feelings of warmth towards a friend with whom you love to spend time
Unconditional Love- A type of affection and caring that is so strong that you feel it consistently, regardless of what that other person does
Conditional Love- A love that requires specific action or conditions in order to be maintained. For example, at its extreme, a parent who gives very conditional love would only love his child when he gets straight A’s, becomes a surgeon and has two children. The love is based on outside conditions and when they do not occur, the love is withdrawn.
Puppy Love- A childish, innocent temporary crush on someone that you don’t know well.
Maternal Love- This term usually connotes love that is nurturing, accepting and protective. In actuality this love can also be given by a father etc.
Paternal Love- This term connotes love that involves guidance and some authority. Paternal love usually prepares a child to be ready for the outside world. Again, in reality this type of love is not gender specific.
Soulmate Love- This type of love is described as a love that has survived multiple life times. Not everyone believes in this concept.
Spiritual/Divine Love- This type of love recognizes the Divine light in everyone and everything. Love is given to everyone as an act of loving God.
Love of your country or patriotism- This is love for the place you live or the place that were born. It is a type of loyalty and a special feeling of belonging that you attribute to that specific geographic location.
Self-Love- This is a positive feeling that you have about who you are and what you deserve. It often is expressed by treating yourself well, respecting yourself, wanting yourself to be happy and expecting others to respect you too.
Brotherly Love- This term connotes having a feeling of love for your neighbor, because all humanity is considered to be part of a larger family of human beings.
Tough Love- This term is used to describe a love that is expressed by setting boundaries for the good of the other person. So for example, a parent may send their teenager to rehab if he is drug addicted, even if he does not want to go. They feel that this is an act of love because it stems from a desire for their son’s ultimate good and happiness.



   Women:Why do men spit in public?
   Men:Where ELSE should we spit? On you??? Do you want us to spit on YOU!?! Alright, FINE.
   Women:A teenage girls bra strap shouldn't be a reason to send her home.
   Men:Okay. Okay, alright. Alright, okay, okay. Well why don't I just PULL MY DICK OUT IN CLASS THEN!?!?
   Women:A person should have the right to an abortion.
   Men:Ohhhhh women want abortions! Well men should be able to rape them, that seems like the logical equivalent of this situation.
   Women:Women need to defend themselves from violent men.
   Men:Oh, what, you can hit me but I can't hit you!? why CAN'T I hit you? WHEN can I hit you??? Tell me when I can hit you, please. I want to know. I need to know.
   Women:Men overreact a lot.
   Men:WHOA. Why would you go there? Why do you generalize all men like that? I feel so attacked. This is so hurtful.
   Men:This is why no one likes feminists.




I love this story because this guy in the early 1800’s had so many great childhood memories of this tree and wanted to make sure it was protected no matter what. So he deeded the ownership of the tree to itself and everyone just went with it.
Then in 1942 this intense windstorm came and knocked the tree over. And people were bummed. But someone had saved an acorn from the original tree, so they planted that and now Son of the Tree That Owns Itself is over 50 feet tall.
And since this new tree is technically the offspring of the original tree it’s considered to have legally inherited the plot of land it’s inhabiting.
Two generations of trees owning land is amazing and if you don’t think this is the coolest thing get right out of my face.



how dare this younger generation enjoy casual hookups and temporary dating…back in my day we got married to our first crushes when we were 18 and ended up unhappy by the time we were 40



like when an ugly nigga tell you you cute you gotta wonder if you ugly and that an ugly nigga think you within his ugly ass league



What if the cure for cancer is trapped inside the mind of someone who can’t afford an education?


   Why is body hair only unhygienic when it’s on a woman’s body?



do you ever talk to your parents about feminist or racism issues and realize how sexist and racist they really are?



let’s bring back the term “cats” when referring to a group of people (i.e. “see you cats later”)
pros:
  it’s gender neutral
   you get the chance to look like a cool jazz musician
   you can compare all your friends to cats (always good)
cons:
????



   all i really want from my life is a legitimate reason to pin a bunch of photos and newspaper fragments on a huge cork board and connect them with long strings of yarn

Stupidest things ive ever heard on the internet so far:
"boobs were made for men not for feeding babies!!!!!!!!!! stop using boobs for anything other than pleasing us!!!"
"How dare babies pass though the vagina during birth, don’t they know vaginas are for a men’s penis"


Straight people don’t get to destermine what homophobia is.
Men don’t get to determine what women consider harassment.
White people don’t get to determine what racisim is like for people of color.


the snoot advanced



get learned how to make stuff more deader.

Straight people have been stealing from the gay community for ages now. Especially from the black gay/trans community.

“Grade 1
Students in Grade 1 will be taught the proper names for body parts – something child-abuse investigators have long urged.
They will also learn how to recognize non-verbal signals, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, to better communicate with others.
Grade 2
In Grade 2, students will learn about bodily changes and development, verbal and physical violence, and the concept that “no means no.”
Grades 3-4
Grade 3 students will learn about same-sex relationships, while the physical, emotional and social impacts of puberty will move from Grade 5 to Grade 4.
Grades 5-6
In Grade 5, students will continue learning about puberty, including menstruation and spermatogenesis, and how these processes relate to reproduction.
Students in Grade 6 will learn about masturbation and “gender expression.” They will also be educated on how to build healthy relationships and consent.
Grades 7-8
In Grades 7-8, students will learn about the dangers of “sexting.”
They will also discuss contraception, anal and oral sex, and ways to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
Grades 9-10
Teaching materials on mental health, previously relegated to older grades, will be introduced in Grade 9. Grade 9 students will also explore gender identity, sexual orientation and the resources available for support.
In Grade 10, students will continue to learn what factors influence sexual decision-making, including personal values, peer and family expectations, and media messages.
Under the current sex education program, Grades 9 and 10 students focus on promoting healthy sexuality, preventing sexually transmitted infections, and identifying the stages of sexuality.
Grades 11-12
Similarly to the existing program, students in Grades 11 and 12 will focus on how to use decision-making skills to create healthy relationships.
They will also learn about reducing the stigma around mental illness, and taking proactive health measures.”
---Do you understand how fantastic this is? Sex Ed has not been changed since the time that I was born and now we’re going to be have education on gender identities, sexual orientations are going to be taught from a young age on the importance of consent and the enforcement of how “no is no”. Older students are going to be learning about mental health and how to reduce the stigma around it.  This is not the training of “abstinence is key”.  Take note America



I just realized the climax of the Lion King is kind of hilarious.
Because it came down to a showdown fight between Scar and Simba. And here’s something great about them: they are the weakest little shits.
Scar was this skinny twig of a lion who probably only got the 11th+ portion of any kill because nobody liked him, and the only way he could one-up anyone was through trickery, and/or by softening them up with a wildebeest herd.
Simba grew up without ever having to chase his prey or work particularly hard because he lived on a diet of insects and nothing else. Nala could kick his ass because she was a goddamn proper hunter.
So the final battle was the equivalent to a pasty-faced metrosexual teen slap-fighting a starving 60-year old




Convo between my 7 year-old students today
   Josie:I have a new crusshhhhh
   Matt:Me too! On a boy!
   Pearl:You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
   Matt:Yeah he's really cute.
   Pearl:Oh.
   (pause for a bit)
   Matt:Boys can like boys. I just can't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
   Me:Yeah they can. You can marry whoever you want.
   Matt:Really?
   Josie:YEAH my tia has a wife so now I have a titi and a auntie.
   Matt:Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
   Dave:(from across the room) No you can't you're seven.
   (Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage.)



Learn to take a compliment?
How about learn to give a compliment.
Because street harassment is not a compliment.


   like it’s not “whoops I’m PREGNANT AGAIN tee hee time for an abortion!!”
nobody fuckin does that. Nobody .
it’s more along the lines of do you want an abortion or do you want to die?
do you want an abortion or do you want to watch your baby die after a week?
do you want an abortion or do you want your life to fall apart around you because of a child you are either unable or unfit to support?
do you want to give up a fetus or a living, breathing baby you could potentially wreck your body and threaten your life for?




“The men in Hollywood event is every day—it’s called Hollywood. Fifty-one percent of the population should not have to have to schedule a special event to celebrate the fact that in an art that tells the story of what it means to be human and alive, we get to play a part.
My husband and I do kind of the same job — a little bit. Not long ago we both had one of those magical days which we call a junket, where we both attended these lovely events where people come in every four minutes and they ask the same questions over and over again, you know the drill. We got home at night and we compared notes.
And I told him every single person who interviewed me, I mean every single one, and this is true of the red carpet here tonight, Elle, asked me, ‘How do you balance work and family?’ and he said the only thing that people asked him repeatedly was about the tits on the ‘Blurred Lines’ girl [Emily Ratajkowski his co-star in Gone Girl].
As for work-life balance, he said no one asked him about it that day. As a matter of fact, no one had ever asked him about it. And we do share the same family. Isn’t it time to kinda change that conversation?”




“"Get a better job," they said.
Suddenly, every custodian everywhere quits their job and gets a better one. Now, upon entering public restrooms, everyone is handed a spray bottle and toilet brush, because now they have to scrub their own shit out of that public porcelain throne. Women’s restrooms come complete with plastic bags, because they have to bring their soiled period products home with them and dispose of them at home, because there is no more public waste removal.
"Get a better job," they said.
All fast food employees quit and find a “better job”. No more fast food places! There also aren’t any restaurants. Better learn to cook your own shitty garbage burgers. You have only yourself to yell at if you forget the cheese.
"Get a better job," they said.
Retail stores no longer have any employees. All shopping must be done online, but you have to drive out and pick up the supplies yourself because the Fedex people quit and got better jobs, too.
"Just get a better job," they said!
You now have to grow and make every single thing you ever consume for the rest of your life, because no one wants to do it for you at $7 an hour.
Fuck you.”




I belong somewhere tropical. I am so tired of snow, farmlands, and cold weather. I want beaches and palms…



   person:i'm super socially awkward cuz i crush on a fictional character
   me:oh yeah who?
   person:this vampire assassin badboy with a motorbike
   me:i'm crushing on a fictional Valkyrie who isn't even a Valkyrie but an actor who is stuck on a deserted island and thinks she is still on stage and she only eats meat and is surrounded by shitty pun monsters
   person:yeah but he has a motorbike
   me:yeah but she has a sweetass helmet




apparently it costs $241,000 to raise a kid



"Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women."


   When I say “boys are dumb” what I really mean is “boys have been raised in a patriarchal society that forces them into an incorrect and problematic view of masculinity that not only forces them to strip away valuable virtues from themselves, like patience and gentleness, but also forces them to view and treat women in unhealthy ways that devalues women as people and makes them into objects purely for a man’s benefit”
but it’s a lot faster to say “boys are dumb”


((WHICH GODDESS IS KNOWN FOR BEING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL?)))
DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN!!!!!!
And then I’m just like, “DAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.”
---If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone.  Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades won’t do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.
----Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but you’ll win Hades’ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.

  I love how all of this advice leads to “please Hades at all costs.”




no1 cares if ur vegan or a vegetarian what we’re annoyed with is that you insist that ur better than us and that we’re satan or something because we eat meat omfg
----You’re supporting an industry that condones the murder and abuse of billions of lives. You’re not Satan, you’re God. Satan kills far fewer people.
did you just call me god?


If martin luther king were still alive, then his granddaughter would have recently celebrated her 6th birthday.
Not great-granddaughter, just granddaughter. think about how little time ago the civil rights movement actually happened, and understand that there is still much work to be done for equality.



It's amazing to me how sick everyone is of talking about ladies, considering how rare it is for us to talk about actual ladies. I mean, specific people who happen to be ladies, rather than the abstract, intangible concept of "ladies" and lady-ness. "Ladies," we'll say, and then sit back and sip at our cappuccino/Scotch/Shirley Temple. "They sure are that thing they be. I wonder if it's possible for them to be funny or do math." Meanwhile, in the background, actual ladies with body-hair and smelly armpits and bad tempers are inventing computers and punk rock and, like, pies too probably (now I'm just listing my favorite things). And we were too busy nursing our Shirley Temples to even notice.


Thirty years before Charles Darrow "invented" Monopoly, staunch anti-monopolist Elizabeth Magie created The Landlords Game, not as the fast-paced thrill-ride we know today, but as a piece of political commentary. There were two versions: one where you could be a monopolist and crush your opponents and another where everyone benefited when wealth was created. Of course, "fun" and "politically relevant" rarely overlap, and it turned out everyone preferred the more cruel version of her game. Darrow learned that version of the game from a friend and, being a cunning entrepreneur, turned around and sold "his" idea to Parker Brothers. When Parker Brothers found out that they didn't have a monopoly on Monopoly, they tracked down Magie and bought the idea from her for $500 -- which was less than she had spent developing and promoting it in the first place.

Turns out the creation of Monopoly was just like a game of Monopoly: complicated, longer than you expected, and in the end the biggest asshole won.

I will eat your happiness…
---You will starve.



I stubbed my toe and naturally I screamed “MOTHERFUCKER” and then my dad poked his head out of the livingroom and said  “you rang?”
#the ultimate dad joke


Out of every pun and play on words I’ve seen on this site, this is the one that makes me so unreasonably angry.



ATTENTION: I need attention




   i’ve figured out that horror games with grotesque monsters and spooky environments are -0009 scary if you pretend you’re steve irwin on a mission to document the monster(s)
"Lookie there. That’s a six-foot grunt from the basement. A’hm gonna wrassle it."




a shotgun accessorizes any outfit.



Sorry, I wasn’t aware this was the goddamn grandma Olympics.


Merry shitscram!
---ahh yes my favorite time of year


Thursday cry moved up to Wednesday due to scheduling conflict.



YOU IDIOT!!!
----I’M SURE YOURE RIGHT BUT WHY?!


if there’s sassy gay friend can there also be sarcastic asexual friend
Brutally honest bisexual friend
Pissed off pansexual friend



   i can’t believe christmas starts tomorrow
---not if you live in britain first we gotta light up some fireworks and burn shit because some guy tried to blow up parliament


   The best comedy about North Korea, far better than The Interview, was made six years ago.

   It’s called The Red Chapel, and it’s a documentary about two Danish-Korean comedians (and their director/manager) who go to North Korea to perform for Kim Jong Il.  The idea they had was that they would do subversive comedy, they would come up with a sketch that looked like goofy slapstick but slyly mocked the North Korean government, and it would be a hilarious slap in the face to do it right in front of Kim Jong Il.  That big silly wouldn’t even know they were making fun of him!  Ha!

   Over the course of their stay in North Korea, the idea falls apart.  It becomes clear during rehearsals that their government minders are very aware of anything that could be the slightest bit subversive (or even really funny), and if any of that makes it into the final performance, the consequences will be very bad.  Anything remotely satirical gets cut from the routine very early on.

   Things go from demoralizing to horrific when the government minders take them on outings to see life in North Korea.  Of course everyone they see looks totally fine and claims everything is wonderful.  But one of the comedians has cerebral palsy, and he starts asking: why don’t I see any people like me?  We’ve been here for weeks, and seen thousands of people; how is it that not one of them is visibly disabled?

   He doesn’t get an answer.  He breaks down emotionally and refuses to keep going along with the charade, but because his voice is hard for the North Korean minders to understand, the director “translates” his protests into praise for the regime.  He’s trying to protect his friend but it’s awful and cruel and gut-wrenchingly hard to watch the scenes where the comedian is screaming “that’s not what I said!” and the director is frantically whispering “just play along!” at him.

   In the end, they go out in front of a heavily coached audience and do a completely harmless show with kazoos and spring snakes and silly costumes.  All hope for satire breaks down and they give exactly the show the government minders wanted, because it’s the only thing they can do.  Subversiveness wouldn’t be clever; it might be fatal.  Instead of getting away with something, they end up hating themselves and violating their own principles.  They came to mess around with a silly weird country that doesn’t know how ridiculous it is, and instead they found themselves surrounded by very serious and real and terrifying oppression.

   The Red Chapel isn’t funny, and totally fails to satirize or expose or change anything, and that’s why it’s the only good comedy about North Korea.



#[40S COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER VOICE] WHAT’S BETTER THAN THIS? GALS BEING PALS
   Fun fact: Though being gay in the 40s sucked, being lesbian in the military was easier, and pretty common. There were apparently, at one point in time time so many lesbians in the military that when they tried to crack down on it, the girls wrote back and said “Look I can give you the names, but you’ll lose some of your best officers, and half your nurses and secretaries.” And they pretty much shut up about it unless you were especially bad at subtlety. (Source: Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers. A good source for gay history from 1900s onwards.)
wait but also lesbians in the WAC were so common and often had hierarchies of popular lesbians; more traditionally butch women were considered super hot and often formed cliques where they’d wear men’s suits and cut their hair to look like sideburns and smoke cigars in the mess (there was also a lot of terrible profiling done to butch women during gay/lesbian witch hunts later in the military but at least this part is fun)
also when they finally tried to crack down on lesbian relationships in the WAC it proved to be incredibly difficult because of male officers’ inability to distinguish friendly female behavior from like.. couples’ PDAs (“gal pals????” they all thought. “lesbians????” they couldn’t tell. “these women are all holding hands with each other and kissing each others’ cheeks what is going on,” they thought. “men don’t do this?”) and this wasn’t at all helped by the fact that the women would often intentionally mess with the people questioning them; they’d pull the gal pal card and they’d pull it hard. “do you two sleep in the same bed?” “well of course, we’re best friends!”
and when the military tried to profile more butch-presenting women, who often (but not exclusively!) filled more industrial jobs such as mechanics and technicians etc. they found that they were losing some of their best people who were replacing “”“male”“” homefront and reserve jobs and therefore couldn’t discharge them
another great book to read is Coming Out Under Fire by Allan Berube; it specifically addresses lesbian and gay climates in WWII, with a heavy focus on the WAC and on drag culture in the men’s army/navy



TO ALL THE WHITE WONDERBREAD WHINERS:
The whole point of Annie being a freckle faced redheaded boisterous orphan was that she was stereotyped as completely undisirable because of her ethnicity (Irish people used to face a lot of hatred), her personality (loud, vocal, open and honest), and her looks (freckles and red hair was considered to be extremely unattractive at the time that Annie was originally concieved). Redheaded people were often stereotyped as troublemakers with loud mouths and behavioral problems, and girls and women with red hair are often considered to be sexually “devious”, or more sexually mature at a younger age. These were reasons that people wouldn’t adopted redheaded freckle faced children who were probably Irish. They were considered unattractive, troublemakers, loud, and had “bad blood” and would probably become every negative stereotype for the Irish one could conjure. Now, in a time when racial representation is (slowly) growing, they chose a little black girl to replace the little ginger girl in this modern adaptation because guess what? Black children are often left to languish in the system now for the same reasons that ginger kids used to languish in orphanages then. Little black girls have all the same stereotypes slapped on them. Black children are labled as “thugs”, as “ghetto”, they’re labled as troublemakers and loudmouths; and face it- in white dominated media, as shown above, black is considered “unattractive”.
Black Annie is a true underdog now, whereas a redheaded frecklefaced child would be considered attractive (thanks very much in part to the original Annie, honestly). It is the same story, but with the real underdog orphan of this time.
White people claiming that POCs freaking out over Exodus is stupid OBVIOUSLY have never taken geography. Ramases was brown. Moses was brown. IT TOOK PLACE IN EGYPT. EVERYONE WAS BROWN OR BLACK. THEY ALL WERE PEOPLE OF COLOR. BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE FUCKING NOTICED, BUT EGYPT IS IN AFRICA. They literally changed the entire story by using white people, let alone the fact that MOSES NEVER LED THE HEBREWS INTO BATTLE, NEVER CARRIED A SWORD, NEVER PERSONALLY ENGAGED RAMASES THROUGH HIS OWN POWER.
Changing race in Annie was necessary to demonstrate truthfullness- redheaded freckle faced children are no longer underdogs in the adoption world, black children are. Changing race in Exodus was not necessary to demonstrate truthfulness and in fact essentially destroys a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide, not only christians, but muslims and jews too. Moses and Ramases are part of all three of those faiths, and making them white and everyone else white is a slap in the face and was completely unnecessary in relaying the story.
The fact that this is even an issue makes me wann areach out and touch somebody. It’s Rue all over again. I wanna puke.




“But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.”



i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”









Comparing two pictures of barely clothed women in underwear and stockings.
One being an actual woman during an anti rape protest, the other of a digital character named Quiet from the metal gear series.
The first image being labeled as feminist, the second being labeled as sexist.
But what’s the difference here?
Well, the first woman is a real human being. She controls her own body and has her own personality. She has control over her own actions and can make autonomous decisions in her life. She also has to directly deal with the people around her and the bigotry, stereotyping and harassment that she is exposed to. She is real, she has emotions, she has thoughts, and she has rights.
The second woman is fictional. She was created by other people who exert full control over her body, appearance and actions. Her sole purpose is to be literally bought and sold for the entertainment of an audience. She cannot make her own decisions, she cannot control her own body and she is not real. She is not responsible for her behavior or appearance: She is the product of the environment that she was created in.
The first woman, by virtue of being a human being who identifies with the feminist movement and acts in accordance to those beliefs, is therefore a feminist. She is actively participating in feminism and is choosing to dress herself in a manner of protest that best demonstrates that she alone controls her body, and that no others have a right to access her body without her consent. She is a multi-faceted person who has agency, and part of that agency includes the ability to look sexy while refusing to consent to her own dehumanization. Her actions are not only one small part of what makes her a person, but she is also participating within a cultural trend of protesting rape culture.
The second woman, because she is not autonomous and was designed by a series of outsiders, is sexist because she is the passive product of sexist content creators. She exists as an ornament. Her clothes were chosen as fan service so that she can be sexually available and gratifying at all times, most likely for straight male gamers. Her erotic appearance has little functional purpose other than to please an audience. And since she exists within an industry that is consistently criticized for ostracizing female participants and creating a large gap between the depictions of male and female characters, her appearance is simply one detail within a much larger array of sexist problems.
Get it?



“The Cheapest Generation: Why Aren’t Millennials Buying Cars or Houses?
What if Millennials’ aversion to car-buying isn’t a temporary side effect of the recession, but part of a permanent generational shift in tastes and spending habits? It’s a question that applies not only to cars, but to several other traditional categories of big spending—most notably, housing. And its answer has large implications for the future shape of the economy—and for the speed of recovery.”
It’s safe to say that a decent number of people reading this are a part of the Millennial generation. So, tell us: Do you own a car or house? If not, why?
----IT’S BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO DISPOSABLE INCOME YOU THUNDERING IDIOTS. Fucking preference has nothing to do with it. 50% of college graduates have no job! They all have the most student loan debt ever! What are you asking this question for?!
Also: housing is a good bit more expensive now.
My parents got a 15-year mortgage on a new house in the mid-70s. The house was $32,000. Average home price in that area now? $190,000.
So, home prices went up. Food prices went up. Health care prices went WAY UP. Rent prices went up. Higher education went up so damn high that some of us forgo that all together. Energy prices went up. Car prices went up.
Prices of prices went up.
We also pay cell phone bills, internet bills, data plans, text plans, online subscriptions, cable/satellite tv, netflix, DVR subscriptions — bills that didn’t even exist 30-40 years ago. We also use computers and smartphones and microwaves and other consumer electronics that didn’t exist 20-50 years ago.
We need medications and doctors and contact lenses and tampons and maxi pads and other things that cost money just to be alive and keep us healthy.
Most of us can’t afford to:
1. Get married and have a “Traditional” big wedding
2. Buy a house
3. Buy a new car
4. PLAN to have children
5. Take two, consecutive weeks of vacation.
Jobs that paid 50k in the late 1990s now pay between 30-35. Interest rates that favor consumers have gone down.
So I say, no. We are not choosing not to buy homes. We’re not choosing to take the bus in cities where there’s no good public transit. WE ARE NOT CHOOSING TO LIVE WHAT SOCIETY DEEMS AS AN UNDESIRABLE LIFESTYLE.
anyway, my point is: We are fucking broke.
"Hey. Hey, guys. I know the economy being fucked up is totally our fault, but what if we tell people the next generation…wants to be poor?”



An apology is NOT “I’m sorry BUT here’s why I’m totally in the right and think I did nothing wrong.”



Let me tell you a story.
My mom had a hot tub, she traded a refrigerator for it. One day the water needed changed, and I went to her, the darling teenager that I was, and said, “Mom, can we put bubble bath in the hot tub?”
She looked at me like I’d lost my damned mind, a look that I got from my mom a lot.
"But, mom, we’re going to be changing the water!," I insisted.
She told me I could, so I called all of my friends, because dear god I was putting bubble bath in the fucking hot tub, and this might be the best thing I’d done in my entire life. And with a full size bottle of bubble bath in hand we all got in the hot tub, I upended the whole bottle, and turned on the jets.
The bubbles started rising at an alarming rate, soon I could see nothing but bubbles because they’d engulfed my head. There was much laughter as we all got buried in the foam. After awhile I finally stood up. There were three feet of solid bubbles towering above the hot tub, the deck looked about like the picture above, there were bubbles in the trees, and wafting into my neighbors’ lawns. Everything was bubbles, and to date it still might be the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.


Dudes. If you feel society has lost it’s decency, let’s bring it back. Let’s start the #DudesGreetingDudes movement! Say hi to each other!
These women just don’t get it. Yáll just want to say hi. What’s wrong with hi?!?! Solet’s just leave them out completely. #DudesGreetingDudes
You see a dude looking all hard & shit. Roll up on him like “Aye yo, smile, son. Damn.” BRING SUNSHINE TO HIS DAY. #DudesGreetingDudes
“Dude, smile. You look more manly when you smile.” #DudesGreetingDudes
“If you didn’t want me to comment why you leave the house in a muscle t!” #DudesGreetingDudes
You see a dude listening to music, walk up to him, pull out one of his earbuds and ask “What we listening to bro?” #DudesGreetingDudes
*Grabs a dude’s arm as he walks pass* “Hold up, why you moving so fast?...You in a hurry? Slow down Bruh” #DudesGreetingDudes
Bruh I can’t COMPLIMENT you? I’m saying! *get’s ignored*
You know what? Fine! Those jordans are scuffed anyway! #DudesGreetingDudes
“Whats that you eating bro? You got some for me? Calm down I’m not trying to holla” #DudesGreetingDudes
*Grabs dude by waist* “Slowdown, slowdown, slowdown….where you running off too? You need company?” #DudesGreetingDudes
“Aye homie.. you mixed with something? Them waves look silky and luxurious”





   T-Rex skull shower heads justify the existence of 3D printers.
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes, strong language and ideologically sensitive material)
“I have a lot to say. You just have to ask the right questions”


But truly he had reason to fear , for his ex girlfriend employed the most evil of all teenage tactics!
She whispers to her friend, then they laugh while pointing right at him!
Her  fiendish plot of adolescent mockery reducing him to quivering blob!


   art has been used throughout history as a tool of oppression just as much as it has been used as a tool of expression. it is important to dissect and critique art on every level, it does not get a free pass to perpetuate whatever potentially harmful messages it wants just out of its nature of being art.



in order for comedy to be funny and entertaining, it needs to be poking fun at something more powerful than the person delivering the comedy.
Think about the difference between watching a bully pummel some scrawny little dipshit, and that dipshit surprising the bully with a jab to the throat.
The former is a tragedy, the latter is a popular genre of YouTube video. We like to see the underdog win and, ideally, we don't want anyone to get hurt. This is why so many comedians talk about what useless pieces of shit they are on stage: the more people who are better than them, the more stuff they have to make fun of. That's why it's dumb to make jokes at the expense of the homeless: they don't have power over anyone.
This is part of why it's so profoundly stupid for someone to say, "How come X gets to tell that joke, but I don't?" Because comedy, jackass. The place the joke is coming from is part of the joke. That's not fair, but hey: would you rather your jokes be fair or funny? Sorry, that's a rhetorical question, because no one cares about your answer. They just wanna know if you can make them laugh.



everyone always assumes that when the robots gain sentience, the first thing they're gonna wanna do is kill all the humans. nobody ever really considers the option that they'll just call us a bunch of losers and ditch us.


Gone are the days when you could just throw a white sheet over your head and go as the ghost of someone who got strangled in a load of laundry.



History is written by the victors, and so a lot of the "facts" you have in your head are just the manic ravings of the people who stabbed their way to the top.


Remember kids, "Yes, but only because you might leave me to die otherwise" means "No."



   why do people call people lightweights as if it’s a bad thing??? you paid 20 bucks to get drunk I paid 5 sry you’re sad




Successful horror often makes us afraid of everyday, mundane things. Jaws brought terror to swimming in the ocean. The Blair Witch Project spooked us out of any future camping trips. The Ring exploited our natural fear of wet children

To capture its prey, the bed possesses all the wily powers of, well, a bed: cuddliness, soft pillows and 1,000 thread count sheets.

"Oh no, not my favorite hands!"



“The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, traveling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone.”


We don't think we're exaggerating when we say that if the entire world stopped focusing on its differences for like five minutes, you'd probably be reading this article from your summerhouse on Mars while preparing for the annual World Peace Day barbecue.


You might say it's the vilest vial of all the vile vials you've ever reviled. But if you said that, somebody would probably slap you for not being funny.



He was a man, a manly man, the kinda manly man who looked as if someone had shaved a baboon and stuffed his arms full of watermelons.



   sorry you haven’t seen much of me lately it’s just that everything in the whole world is overwhelming



   blog goals: making someone feel a little less sad



   imagine the most serious character you know
 now imagine them getting scared by the toaster going off as they walk by



   country music, or as I like to call it, “farm emo”



*holds your hand and swings it a little bit when we walk*
--*swings my arm around at maximum velocity and flings u into the sun*
jokes on u i’m not letting go you’re coming with me

“hey, you’d be more attractive without glasses”
--“well you’d be more attractive if I wasn’t wearing my glasses too.”



   as a someone who studies psychology i can 500% say there is something wrong with all of us on here



   i wonder what new slang words will surface in the new year that i’ll start to use ironically but then won’t be able to stop using



What is a hero without a villain?:Useless.
What is a villain without a hero?: Successful.
--So what you’re saying here is that we should all be villains?
Yes.




scared of high school? face your fears,  fight everyone in high school




   That “ignoring each other” game can turn into a “never hearing from me again” game real fast



One good day would be nice…I have shit to draw…C’mon emotions, stop fucking with me.  Please.


   Life is like a box of chocolates, I don’t like 3 quarters of it



A collection of 90’s insults:

welcome to loserville. population one: ....you
talk to the hand
then why dont you marry it!
......not!
loser loser, double loser, as if, whatever, get the picture, DUH
cancel my subscription, im over your issues
U-G-L-Y you aint got no alibi! you ugly! ya ya, you ugly!
have a nice trip, see you next fall
i know you are, but what am  i?
psych!
im rubber, youre glue, anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you
as if!




How many innocent cats have been lifted in the air because of The Lion King?
i am 5’2” and let me tell you… it is not jUST CATS



   Hi, I’m a writer. My hobbies include not writing.



All I can say about this is that two punches in the face is never better than one, and you're not proving a point by making a bad thing worse. Bad things don't become good when faced with worse things. Ball cancer isn't great when you get AIDS.


   I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins.



I fucking love the human race we’re all a bunch of dopes.


   I am an introvert. That means that when I’m feeling down, chances are that I won’t actually go to you for help. In fact, I won’t go to anyone for help. You’ll have to actually check on me. I don’t feel that I should burden others with my problems but if you come to me, I might just trust you enough to let you help.



   1965: STOP…in the name of love
   1989: STOP…collaborate and listen
   1990: STOP…hammertime
   2015: STOP…wait a minute



   u ever procrastinate so hard u loop back around to being productive
like u will do literally anything but homework so u like clean ur entire house or some shit



cause of death: too shy to call ambulance



if tumblr is so accepting, then why is it that I, an octopus in a suit pretending to be a human father,



   I’m really not worried about anything other than good grades and staying alive so if u feel like I’m ignoring u…..u right and u not that important



Now it has all the power of breakfast. We must destroy it!


You don’t have to throw people under the bus, you can just be the bus.

   my drug dealer cracks me up


do i have writers block or did i never have any talent and just accidentally wrote something good that one time



Leather armour is best for sneaking, because it’s literally made of hide


I could kiss you! if you weren’t so short, and old, and ugly and smelly.



It seemed that the party had drawn in the whole of the town to come drink cheap fruit punch and stand around awkwardly.



   When I say “please don’t take a picture of me” it’s not because I’m being bitchy and stubborn, it’s because if I see that picture I will seriously feel so bad about myself and think I am the ugliest thing on earth and sink a little deeper into self consciousness and hatred.
and before anyone says anything about selfies- those are controlled photos.



beauty and the beast au where belle’s dad is the one that breaks the spell by loving the beast like the son he never had



If H.R. Giger decided to become a homemaker instead of drawing penis landscapes and riding hilariously tiny trains, he'd probably have dreamt up this 1967 recipe, which unites the fertility of the orchard with crustaceans of the ocean.



-wears a dress-
someone: oooo who you lookin good for? ;))
me: i was too lazy to match 2 pieces of clothing so here i am


   Actually I love how I can say “I understand shit” and “I understand shit” and it can both mean “I understand everything” and “I understand nothing” English slang is horrific and if you’re not a native English speaker good luck this language is ridiculous



   casually call people “human” to unsettle them and make them question what sort of being you are





   Babe did you fall from heaven bc you seem to be a chaotic ever shifting sphere of eyes & wings making a sound not of this earth and I’m kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying






If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.



One time, another deputy and I were called to a bar for a disturbance, and upon arrival learned that my own grandmother got into a drunken altercation with another intoxicated senior citizen before throwing a bar stool through the front window. Resisting the urge to high-five her on the spot, we instead took both parties in for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and vandalism.


The law is the fucking law. That's a phrase I got used to saying a lot, especially while explaining to ex-classmates that no, I could not let them off with a warning for doing 60 in a 25 because "we went to school together!" Well, yeah. It's a small town. Everybody went to school together -- there's only one damn school.



Sex tip: If he’s pressuring you to do anal, buy a dildo the same size as his dick, and ask him to do it first. If he’s scared of the pain- case closed. There’s absolutely no reason that he should expect it to feel any differently for you. If he says that it would be emasculating, belittling or ‘gay’, then that man is a misogynistic homophobe, and you better run for the hills as fast as your legs can take you.



   I wish that there was a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m having a bad mental health day and need you to pay attention to me,” without alienating everyone.

or: “I’m having a bad mental health day and need to be on my own for a while so please don’t be mad if I cancel our plans on short notice.”







   It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life. You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.




       When you start a job, WRITE DOWN THE DATE YOU STARTED. Also the date you ended, if it ended. Write down the address. Write down the supervisors name.
You have NO IDEA how many forms this will be on. Seriously. I dont care if you have to email it to yourself on your hello kitty email or something, write it down and keep it.
Also!! The date any promotion or pay raise is implemented!!
^^^ They seriously ask for this on so many job forms.


“did it hurt?”
--“did what hurt?”
“When you broke through the earths crust ascending from hell.”

a tEENAGER???… withPOLITCIAL OPINIONS?? no… politics for adults. this not affect you. go sit at kids table

(5 min later) this new generation of teenagers doesn’t care about anything besides parties and the internet



Amethyst has neglected her past commitments as the alligator




if you’re ever sad, remember that there’s a puppy somewhere with hiccups



   this generation is so lazy! get off ur ass and start a war! or ruin the economy or something! how do i send an e-mail!

a conversation with a 96-year-old woman
96 yr old:You know how your parents probably say things like, "you were BORN with the internet, you don't know what it's like to live without!"
   Me:yeah
96 yr old:Well, my parents said that to me about electricity.


in 1790, about when the constitution was ratified, there was 4 million people in the United States and 13 states (26 senators).  that’s one senator for every 150,000 people.  now there’s 100 senators and about 320 million citizens.  that’s one senator for every 3.2 million people.  taking 3.2 million divided by 150,000 gives you 21.3.  We are 21.3 times less represented now than we were 225 years ago


   me:my job sucks
   people:why don't you do what you enjoy
   me:capitalism has determined that what I enjoy has no value
   people:??? ??????????


   so your waiter makes a mistake..they might still have kids at home? paying off student loans? need to make rent this month? need to eat, need to survive? human error is no reason not to tip



   the worst feeling is when you say bye to a group of friends but nobody answers so you just kind of walk away and nobody even realizes you’re gone



If I had any emotions I’d probably be crying right now.




   person:i am uncomfortable with bad language--
   me:okay!! that's fine!!
   person:--because you are a girl and girls shouldnt talk like that
   me:eat my entire ass!!!!


   *rubs my feminist little hands all over nerd culture* does this upset you



ALSO I hear stories all the time in which the kitchen/a chef makes a mistake with the dish or a menu item runs out and the customer refusing to give a fair tip to the waiter as a result. The waiter is NOT the kitchen, don’t punish them for things that are out of their control!



   "do you have a girlfriend?"
"no but sometimes people on the internet flirt with me and I have no idea how serious they are about it"



   anti-choice couples calling each other fetus instead of baby bc to them it’s the same thing


middle school teachers be like “You’re not just gonna have a calculator on hand in the real world”
*pulls out smartphone*



starbucks dude: can I have your name?
me: claire.
starbucks dude: that’s a pretty name. do you have a number to go with it?
me, as I visibly text: no, I don’t own a phone.


Sorry I cant go out tonight I have an essay to write. Not that im going to write the essay tonight but I need to devote a certain amount of time to not doing an essay before I actually do it.


there are bugs that are literally, split down the middle, half male and half female, worms and snails that have both sets of genitalia, fish that just up and switch sexes when there’s a male or female space in their group that needs filling and you want me to believe that God hates all sorts of gender-bending in his children,   I think you need to take a better look at God’s creation


funny how a mentally ill person is manipulative because they tell someone they are in pain but the people around them aren’t manipulative for setting up a giant complex system of rewards and punishments designed to get the mentally ill person to behave in certain ways. funny how that works


   cis man:hello I am a 65 year old who would like testosterone treatments so I can continue to jerk it to pictures of girls who are way too young for me
   doctor:of course!
   insurance:that's a matter of quality of life! we'll pay for that
   trans man:hi I-
   doctor/insurance:bye



There’s an old saying in show business: the show must go wrong.
Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.


   you cannot rely on another person for your mental and emotional health.


   I’m so sick of seeing people say “feminism is about *~*equality*~*!!!”
The end goal of feminism IS equality, but feminism itself is about liberation: from white supremacy, from homophobia, from sexism, and all other forms of oppressive thought and behavior.
Without first dismantling the systems that keep us oppressed, equality is impossible.


   on one hand feminism does help men but on the other hand i want men to finally get it through their heads that a social movement doesn’t have to be aimed at benefiting them to be worthwhile


one part of the male gender role I can’t stand is thinking that being irritating and pissing women off is funny???? every man I’ve met thinks that’s hilarious and gets mad when I’m not into it. like why did no one teach them to shut the fuck up



Is that supposed to mean something??
----it means i am extremely lazy yes



   It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?
#friendly reminder that I once put my statistics degree to good use and did some calculations about ship ratios#and yes considering the gender ratios of characters#the prevalence of gay ships is completely predictable


A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they’re useful messages. Like “remember you have yoga at 6 tonight”


once in 5th grade my mom bought me this set of like 200 glitter pens because I had mentioned that everyone at school was obsessed with them but I didn’t really care for them so the next day I brought them to class and kids started offering to buy them so I sold them for $3 each and I made almost $500 and then I got sent to the principals office and was told I couldn’t sell them anymore like sorry that I was a natural born entrepreneur

‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on
#’it’s just drizzling’ said the PE teacher opening an umbrella
“running for 20 minutes isn’t that bad”, said the PE teacher from the chair
‘you’ve got to stay healthy’ said the PE teacher eating a mars bar
“Being on your period is no excuse.” said the male PE teacher with no uterus




   That fact that anyone working with food in America doesn’t have guaranteed paid sick days is a health hazard to the public.
no but for real, the CDC has said the leading cause of foodborne illness is the lack of sick days for people who work in the food industry and that it costs billions a year to the economy.

If your “tips on saving money” starts with assuming that I pay $5 for coffee everyday you already think I have more money than I do.


   I am a positive person but I get really tired of aggressive optimism. If someone’s sad, let them be sad. All emotions have purpose. Sadness isn’t destructive if not prolonged. Sadness isn’t unproductive, as it offers awareness. Telling someone to “cheer up” or “be happy” is so ineffective and patronizing. The last thing a sad person needs is for someone to judge their feelings as pointless and unappealing. Welcome sadness, just don’t let it consume you.


what if the new animal species we discover each year are actually being dropped off by aliens? like they have an over abundance of yeti crabs or something and so they brought some to earth because they knew we’d get a kick out of this.
---This is the cutest conspiracy theory I’ve ever heard


   Psst, feminists.  The equal pay act of 1963 made wage gap illegal. Hear that? Illegal. Facts are shocking, right?
--you know what else is illegal? Meth. you know what people still do? meth


   I love the word “fuckboy”. After so many years of constantly hearing “slut”, “skank”, and “whore” mainly used as insults against women, it’s great to have one specialized for men. It’s great that we’re coming together to call out annoying, perverted, irrelevant men by calling them “fuckboys”. I love it. More, please.


Yeah, I was going to go do that boring thing, but then I realized that grass was growing at my local park.


   don’t drag me for bing a hoe, drag me for not being the best hoe i can be

hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue?
"IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!" MEN SHOUT
"NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!" WOMEN REPLY

“ayy slut, name a guy you haven’t fucked!”
“You, since children are underage.”


I just realized, Deadpool is a pansexual mercenary. That means he plays for all teams all the time



“It’s not so much a matter of putting on slash goggles as it is taking off your heteronormativity goggles. Slashers don’t “see slash” everywhere. They just apply the same standards to two men (or two women) on screen as they would to a man and a woman.”



   i cant even watch a horror film without The Heteros trying to have sex in it



   Tumblr is weird because some people are freshmen in high school and some people have already graduated college and have a job and we’re all just conversing like age isn’t even a thing.


A man walks into a store to buy shampoo. He walks down the hair care aisle and spots a pink shampoo bottle that promises to give you luscious locks. The man is determined, for his hair lacks luster. He asks the nearest store clerk, “Will this work for men? It’s pink, so I’m not sure.” The store clerk looks at the man, then at the shampoo. He shrugs his shoulders in ignorance. The man resolves to purchase the shampoo anyway.
After arriving at his humble abode, the man takes a shower with his new shampoo. He opens the bottle and tries to pour the soapy substance into his hand, but alas; the shampoo refuses to fall onto his manly skin.
The man crumples down in utter defeat, sobbing as the shower water softly cascades down his rippling shoulders. The shampoo will never work for him, for he is a man, and the shampoo he bought is unfortunately in a pink bottle. “I should have known,” he cries out in a whimper. “I should have known.”



The worst thing about the “friendzone” isn’t that some poor guy didn’t get to have sex with the girl he likes even though he’s such a nice guy, it’s that some poor girl finds out one of her friends was only trying to be close to her with the hopes of getting in her pants. Any idea what that does to someone’s self-worth? Or are you too busy lamenting your unrewarded sense of entitlement? Fight me on this. I’m angry tonight and I will bite your throat out.


   I was asking myself just now why they have “16 and pregnant” but not “16 and impregnated a girl” but I realized it would be pretty boring to watch a 16 year old boy play video games and go to school and live life as normal


   boys get so much reward for being so mediocre. “omg my boyfriend doesnt hate me when I forget to shave my legs! he is so special! ily bby!”


   Men had no problem violating women’s bodies while they had on corsets, petticoats and farthingales, so what the fuck makes you think a short skirt has anything to do with it?
Men also have no problem violating women’s bodies while they wear a niqab, hijab and burqa, some of the most covered form of clothing. So basically, what the fuck makes you think clothes have anything to do with it?



   Some of you didn’t know a lot of fraternities were notoriously racist? Isn’t that one of the things they’re all classically known for, alongside excessive beer drinking, date rape, deadly hazing rituals, the ability to get away with most crimes once a rich alum throws enough money around, and post-college cronyism?


You stabbed me, and then pretended like you were the one bleeding.

Tackle men wearing jerseys, because they are asking for it due to what they’re wearing.



“If I didn’t have depression I’d have fucking straight A’s in every class every semester; the classes are easy and I’m not stupid but I can’t concentrate through the sadness.
If I didn’t have depression I’d have read 3 times the amount of books I’ve read; I would still love reading like I had before depression took away my ability to enjoy anything and everything.
If I didn’t have depression I would be able to sit down and watch tv or sit in class and not feel unbearably sad for no other reason than my mind isn’t being kept well enough distracted from the horrible thoughts and feelings that I work so hard to keep pushed down.
If I didn’t have depression maybe I’d know what it’s like to be happy.”



no im totally not a lesbo my super actual husband is dick allcocks from man island, i’m megahet


   i need meninism because how else would i know which boys to avoid


Government Secret #47 We created meninism to figure out which men shouldn’t reproduce

When the dragon age concludes, the next century will be called the “A suspicious lack of dragons” age.


The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I hate everyone equally, and there’s no one alive who could comprehend my sexual preference.



#okay so #THIS IS LITERALLY ALL I WANTED after that fucking episode with her happily going off to have drinks with the men #because they never EVER accepted her as an equal #they merely shifted their perception of her from one lesser being to another #even sousa’s perception of her is degrading even if arguably more positive #and she KNOWS all this #and she was going to accept it if it meant they could all at least get along #it’s a way to get through the day #but look how aware of it she is #when not even that recasting in their minds is working for her #isn’t giving her what she actually wants #not drinks with the men #but actual fucking recognition that she is a person who can make a contribution #thank you show #this is the payoff that i wanted



   When a man complains that “women are complicated” he really means “women are nothing like the cookie cutter archetypes that I formed in my head and I’ve discovered that every woman is an individual and they don’t come with a manual and that confuses me. I have to actually see them as human beings and interact with them as such?”


Men like to use the excuse “but boys get raped too” when they hear women talking about their personal experience’s. First “boy’s get raped” should be it’s own sentence. If you’re only acknowledging their trauma to silence female survivors, then you’re a scumbag.



Do you ever find that certain diseases only happen in certain ethnic groups? For example, I could never be a kleptomaniac. Cus do you know what a black kleptomaniac is called? A theif.



On average, you have a 1 in 18,989 chance of being murdered
A trans person has a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered
The average life span of a cis person is about 75-90
The average life expectancy of a trans person is 23-30 years old
75% of people killed in anti LGBT hate crimes are poc

Protect your transsexual friends, family, and neighbors.



   Support asexual guys who are constantly thrown under the bus at the expectation that they, as men, should be ruthless sex-seeking hounds.
Support bisexual guys who are erased, silenced, and called gay no matter how many times they come out.
Support pansexual guys who are overwhelmingly ignored for having a “fake” sexuality.
Support guys with rare sexualities who are knocked down again and again for not fitting stereotypes.



So I was talking to a boy today and called him “dude” and he goes, “Hey, I’m not your dude. I want to go by bro.” And the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘wow, he has preferred bronouns’.



       Like when ppl are trying to get fucked up why choose a beer when you could have I dunno whipped cream flavored vodka????????
  ----Try to tell this to a German ;p We don’t like girly drinks.
What the fuck is a girly drink how do drinks have a gender a dude ain’t got fucked up taste buds to know beer is nasty and whipped cream tastes fuckin good..



(in response to a photograph of black children being shown off in literal human zoo’s )
1958 THESE ARE SOME OF YOUR GRANDPARENTS!!!!
"slavery was hundreds of years ago. get over it"
shut THE fuck up. 56 years ago black children were zoo attractions.
the same thing is happening in india as of LAST YEAR. Native Jarwawa peoples are tracked down like creatures on a safari and are forced to dance for food. x
fuck you. fuck yourself. fuck your “reverse racism”.



If my kid cant bring peanut butter to school then yours shouldn’t be allowed to bring preventable diseases #stopanitvaccers





   My son, who is 4, and I were walking along the street today and saw a man with his left leg amputated beneath the knee. My son spun around and looked at him, then said to me, “That man lost his leg! What happened?”
I said I didn’t know exactly, but sometimes people lost arms or legs through accidents or didn’t have them for other reasons.
My son instantly said, “Gobber (from How to Train Your Dragon) lost his arm AND his leg and now he has to use tools in their places!”
I kind of collected my jaw and said, “That’s right, and that man is just like Gobber. There’s a special word we use for those kinds of tools. It’s ‘prosthetics’.”
"Prosthetics," said my son, with satisfaction, and on we went without any further discussion about it.
But then we got on the bus, and there was a young black woman with her hair pulled back in a big floofy afro ponytail, and my son, who has seen the trailers for the new Annie movie, said, in delight, “She has hair like Annie’s!”
Representation matters.




   School system fucked so bad that students and teachers literally hope and pray for dangerous weather conditions to get out of going.


You ask your parents what your number 1 priority in life should be: They say “School”
Ask your teacher? They say “Homework”
Ask your coach? They say “Your game skill”
No one ever says “happiness” or “mental health”. Why is that not number one?. That goody-two shoe, varsity player with straight A’s could be suicidal. Why can’t people see that.



   during math class I always thought “when am i ever going to use this in real life!!” and yet now here i am, using math to calculate the minimum number of ants it would take to carry me around places




i will never be impressed by anything the jenner girls do… they’ve been handed literally everything to them… i saw a twitter post that was like “kylie jenner just bought a $2.7 million house. what were YOU doing when you were 17?” like what why are you trying to make me feel inadequate i am going to school!!! i am getting an education!!! i’m just tryna live my life!!! leave me alone!!!



Schools: We take bullying very seriously
Me: I’m being bullied
Schools: Sorry we can’t do anything about it unless there is proof
*kills self*
Schools: This was so tragic and could have been prevented always reach out to us for help we care



   Students:We still don't even know how to get checked into a hospital or how to pay taxes.
   School system:But??? you know algebra! :) ur welcome




My school’s financial aid office is literally telling us to stop eating lunch so we can pay for our education.



   unless your teachers are abusive assholes there is no fucking reason to disrespect them
they are literally trying their hardest to get you an education
teachers have every right to complain about rude students or the amount of papers they have to grade because their salary is low as shit
oh wow, your math teacher yelled at you because you were ignoring the lesson and talking to your friend
i wonder why
jesus christ teachers have it hard enough dont be an asshole



“Hey young people, now’s the time to get married and have kids!”
--Hey Old People: Fix the Economy, Pay Me, Or Stop Fucking Whining About All That Shit We Cant Afford To Do Thanks To You Assholes.

   "I can’t do that because of my religion"   Aight
"You can’t do that because of my religion"   Stop


My sister is a lesbian and im gay but our parents are very conservative, so she “dates” my bf and I “date” her gf, so if they stay over they stay in opposite rooms, but jokes on my parents.


So my dad has new clients and their son is transgender. He got pregnant with his boyfriend and put the baby up for adoption and the baby was adopted by a gay couple….which means that his baby daughter has 4 dads and no mom.
This kid is going to own at the ‘my dad can beat up your dad’ game.
"My dads can out-barbershop quartet your dads"




Fun Fact: Just because you may be very knowledgeable about a subject doesn’t mean that other people who aren’t as informed are stupid. There is never a need to attack or degrade someone simply because they don’t understand something.


       we Americans act really cocky and assholey about freedom to hide the fact that our government is crumbling and nobody is actually free so please give us this one day to be annoying about it
--- Kinda feel bad for poor Americans now. A bit like the asshole kid who you realise is only acting like that cuz their parents are cruel and neglectful.
------That’s painfully accurate.

   Why I often don’t think it’s funny when men make jokes about that their lives are over once they’re married:
-No man is forced to get married. But thousands of girls and women are forced to marry someone they don’t love or even know every fucking year.
-There are thousands of couples all over the world who would give everything to be allowed to marry the person they love.
-It’s fucking disrespectful to your wife.



   Some of y’all mother fuckers on here are beyond needing Jesus, we’re gonna have to go all the way back to Norse Mythology to find the specific pagan God that will fix your shit.


"You would rather talk to your friends than your own parents????"
Well, yeah, because at least I know that my friends won’t make fun of my views and mock me when I stand up for something. When they do, however, at least they apologize.
My friends dont hold the power to take away my hobbies as punishment if I say something they don’t agree with
My friends don’t hold the power to send me away to isolation  if I don’t agree with them





as a parent it is your god damn fucking job to look after your children stop treating your children like they are burdens
you signed up to have a child, the child did not sign up to have you as a parent
keep this in mind. do not expect your children to immediately give you back all the things you give them. they are children. love them. cherish them. treat them well.




   never forget that all this encouragement by feminists for women to take up space, be loud and assertive and noncomplacent is not  just for cis women , but for trans women as well.
Never fall into the trap of treating  trans women who show an inkling of assertion she’ll have “male socialization”, “the male is showing”, “you’ll never pass like that”



   "When did you decide to be gay?"
Last week. I woke up and I was like I want to be judged and not accepted by most of society and denied basic human rights. I thought it would be fun to not be allowed to get married and to be called rude names when I’m with the person I love. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?


“How about we go out and settle this like emotionally stunted men?
Forget the bouncers. Forget our friends. It’s just gonna be you, me, and our fragile egos that render us incapable of dealing with conflict in a socially responsible manner."



   If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.




   If you ever cheat on somebody I hope your chest burns with regret and you realize you’ve fucked up somebody’s view on relationships.


look I totally love girls and stuff but being friends with girls who aren’t feminists is so fucking exhausting like Idgaf that Suzy sucked dick for a McChicken last night Debra mind yo damn business


Oh my god youre straight? I had no idea. You seem normal to me. Did you know that Sara is straight to? You two should totally hook up. I cant believe youre straight. You could be my straight best friend. We could go to football games together. Itll be so much fun. So like how long have you been straight? Youre whole life!? No way.



   Straight people:no you're not allowed to do that because you're not us.
   Lgbt community:ok
   Lgbt community://makes their own group for equal rights
   Straight people:UM, I WANT TO BE APART OF THAT. IT'S FOR EQUAL RIGHTS. THAT's NOT FAIR BECAUSE WE'RE NOT IN IT!!! i was bullied once.
(try not to ever sound like this)

dear 'straight pride' people:  i’ll trade you. you can have the damn parade, and i’ll be safe, accepted in society, and have my basic human rights given to me without question.

   Gay Person:I'm gay
   Straight Person:I don't care as long as you don't hit on me [forced laughter]
   Gay Person:Don't worry about that, you're not really my type anyway.
   Straight Person:
   Straight Person:
   Straight Person:wat the fcuk did u just say




   ppl who make fun of people who like sweet coffee w/ cream or whatever in it are so Weird. im sorry i dont like Bitter Bean juice by itself u pompous turd



Asshole client on Skype. You wouldn’t accuse ANYONE in ANY other profession of just being ‘in it for the money’, but people accuse sex workers of this shit all of the time. You wouldn’t complain to your stylist that they should give you a free haircut because they care about you and then when they don’t complain that they’re “just in it for the money”. Of course i’m in it for the money!!! And I never said otherwise either.


remember when you weren’t aware of oppressive power structures and all u wanted was a lavalamp ??


Some ticks carries a disease, so we’re supposed to avoid them all.
Some sharks bite people, so we’re supposed to always be cautious in the ocean.
Some snakes are venomous, so if you can’t decide whether it’s deadly or not, assume deadly.
But no, not all men


   “What’s stopping you from-”
Money.
Money is what is stopping me. It is what is stopping everyone my age.
So please stop asking that stupid fucking question when you already know the answer and help us do something about it.


i wish men understood that when women are talking about feminism and rape culture and shit, it’s not just a political conversation. it’s not about being a “social justice warrior” or whatever. it’s about our actual lives being shaped by misogyny since childhood, and the daily reality of living in fear of violence. this isn’t a fucking game or philosophical debate. this is our fucking lives.


on one hand feminism does help men but on the other hand i want men to finally get it through their heads that a social movement doesn’t have to be aimed at benefiting them to be worthwhile


i think it really speaks for the sexism in our society that “girls” is a very close synonym to “women” but if you called a group of men “boys” you would be insulting their character.  why are women allowed to be infantalized?  




I’m anti-feminist for many of the same reasons I’m an atheist.
-So you don’t believe women exist? Its okay. I’m an atheist because I don’t believe in something I can’t see or touch. I suppose women are much like that for you.  


“Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.”
Oh yeah? Because female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.
Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.



   i have a friend who has been taking birth control since she was 12 because she’s anemic and if she didn’t take it she would bleed out excessively during her period and end up in the hospital
dont fucking tell me that birth control isn’t crucial to people



can we stop blaming poor people for buying cheap products that were made in sweatshops? can we stop acting like alternatives to products that are made through things like child labor are always accessible and/or affordable? can we stop talking like participation in the game of capitalism is always a choice made willingly and not something poor people are forced to play a part in even when they don’t want to?



“We never say that all men deserve to feel beautiful. We never say that each man is beautiful in his own way. We don’t have huge campaigns aimed at young boys trying to convince them that they’re attractive, probably because we very rarely correlate a man’s worth with his appearance. The problem is that a woman’s value in this world is still very much attached to her appearance, and telling her that she should or deserves to feel beautiful does more to promote that than negate it. Telling women that they “deserve” to feel pretty plays right in to the idea that prettiness should be important to them. And having books and movies aimed at young women where every female protagonist turns out to be beautiful (whereas many of the antagonists are described in much less flattering terms) reinforces the message that beauty has some kind of morality attached to it, and that all heroines are somehow pretty.”





   "cisphobia is a problem too!"
well your problem doesn’t have a body count
your problem isn’t being portrayed as a joke or an illness
your problem isn’t being terrified of your own loved ones and what they could do to you because of your gender
your problem isn’t conversion therapy to make you something you’re not
your problem doesn’t even Fucking exist outside of tumblr!


““But I’m just being honest!”
That’s right. You are just being honest. You are not being compassionate, or considerate, or thoughtful, or loving, or polite, or even pleasant. Just. Honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic. But so much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted, and a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go such a long way toward making it valuable and constructive feedback rather than a shattering blow that can only be forgiven, not forgotten.”
So no, that is no excuse, and it only goes to show the point that most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality much more than the honesty.






Duh-DoSers try to claim the moral high ground by turning you into a human Google. But they don't win when they're ignored. If I stand in the street and start demanding that passersby prove gravity, I'm not a flying wizard when nobody can be bothered.
The Semantic Quo is an extended waste of time. Because when someone's arguing semantics from the side of the status quo, wasting time is all they need to do.

This imperfection attack is digging through someone's Internet history to see if they've ever said anything less than perfect. Because the only allowed options are immaculate saint or total asshole.
This attack assumes that only saints and particularly blessed Buddhas are deserving of even the most basic human rights or empathy.

Victim-accusation isn't an impartial quest for truth or "hearing both sides." It's piling extra pressure on the victim as standard operating procedure.
While accusations of sexism apparently require a Supreme Court ruling as a cited source, accusations of faking sexism need no support whatsoever. "I'm just looking for proof," smiles the scumbag. "I'm just calling every woman a liar and acting like that's the unbiased course of action, instead of proof of the problem I'm denying, and if there was any justice in existence I would cease to do so."
These magical conspiratorial women would have to be faking more electronic output than the Matrix. And that's a movie where they killed almost every major female character. Sometimes twice! Demonstrate a specific example of someone clearly receiving threats of sexual violence and they'll say, "Oh yeah, but she deserves it." Which means that all accusations are either false or deserved, or, in other words, there is no such thing as an attack on women that this asshole will not find justified. Which is the worst possible truth someone can have.

Assholes act as if anger in response to centuries of systematic oppression is equal to centuries of systematic oppression, and the two cancel out. "Maybe if you were nicer about asking," they say, and it's impossible to respond properly, because only comic characters can scream so loudly it ruptures their eardrums and pulps their skulls.
"Maybe if you were nicer about the constant stream of poison you're subjected to, I'd consider not pissing into it." Someone being aggressive in reaction to sexist abuse isn't attacking anyone. Someone being aggressive in reaction to sexist abuse is reacting to sexist abuse. The tactic of getting women as mad as possible and then acting innocent was developed by studying 6-year-old boys. No, sorry, being 6-year-old boys.

It's another way of reframing an urgent discussion of sexual equality as a patriarchal indulgence. "Asking nicely" is for a child who wants more ice cream: an inferior petitioner begging the favor of a stern authority figure for something they don't really need but think would be nice.
The kicker is that deploying the nicer detonator is the best possible way to trigger an explosion of anger. A result the asshole uses to smugly prove to themselves who the real problem is, infuriatingly unaware of how they've truly done that.


"Feminazi" is a real timesaver, because someone saying that just freed you from listening to them ever again. It's such a specific strawman that it has its own name. But the term "feminazi" is far too evocative and powerful a phrase for this phantom. I suggest the term "boogeywoman," reducing the concept to the appropriate level of maturity and power.
Those who fear the boogeywoman claim feminism is a crusade of man-hating assholes, instead of a struggle against a patriarchal system that damages men as well as women. But don't worry, there's a useful quick check to find out if someone's an asshole, and it works on both sides: Ask them how they feel about transgender people. That'll identify who truly cares about equality and who's just being an asshole real quick.
Even if a woman is mean to you, boohoo. You can't dismiss an entire concept because one supporter is an asshole. If "one of them was a jerk" was reason enough to censor entire concepts, men would have become extinct long ago, along with every political and sociological concept ever conceived. I've met dickhead professors of quantum mechanics, but that doesn't mean my computer stops working.


"How can you be complaining about this when there are starving children in Africa? Starving children I'm doing less than nothing to help, because merely nothing would be ignoring them. But I'm specifically pointing out that I know about them to use them as underfed weapons against things I actually care about."


I'm not saying you should punch people who use this tactic in the face, steal their wallet, and spend all the money on charity donations and sweet victory whiskey. Technically, they're saying that, since by their own argument nobody is allowed to complain about anything if they're not reincarnated into one of the worst situations on the planet.

Nobody is allowed to complain about anything except the young and starving, and they're not allowed to complain about anything unless they're the youngest and most starving, all the way down to one tragic soul who can't help but notice that nobody's actually bloody doing anything about the situation.




"I'm not a feminist, I'm an equalist." They're not an equalist, they're an asshole. This doesn't bring enlightened impartiality to the problem, it smugly pretends to bring enlightened superiority to the problem while implying that silly women are being distracted from the wider picture by their own selfishness.
Equalists claim we must tackle all bad things everywhere but start by derailing the discussion of even one of them. Entering a centuries-long struggle affecting billions of lives, their opener is, "Heh, let me fix this cute little mistake you made." Even if they had a point, and they really don't, their first priority is branding.
Imagine being on fire, running up to a firefighter screaming for help, and they hook their hands in their pockets and say, "Actually, before we start, I think you should say you're violently oxidizing. Not all oxidization is bad. I mean, some of my cells are performing oxidation right now, and I think it would be better if we ..." Your last act would be to SET THAT PERSON ON FIRE.

Feminism is gendered not because women want to be treated better in the future but because they're being treated worse right now. Insisting on "equalism" means defining yourself by ignoring that fact. As if sexism, street harassment, pay differences, and rape threats affect genders equally. But the only way everyone could be affected equally is if we were conquered by the universe's worst aliens. And should we enter that dark space-future, and you get the job as commander of Babylon 5 with its dozens of alien races, then sure, equalism will be the way to go. But here on Earth we have a gender spectrum with two definite poles, and one of them is clearly treated worse than the other.

It's amazing how many people are prepared to publicly be on the wrong side of progress. We have never looked back on any part of history and said, "Actually, we were totally right to diminish and ignore the complaints of that mistreated demographic group. That wasn't a humiliating monstrosity at all!"

Feminism is the idea that women should have equal rights. Anyone claiming otherwise is explaining what's wrong with themselves instead.

everyone in movie/TV land has spectacular health insurance, apparently. One of the characters in the slacker comedy Workaholics (who works part time as a telemarketing clerk) had to be rushed to the hospital after a wacky misadventure resulted in him getting impaled in the abdomen by a trophy. He recuperates on the sofa under the influence of strong painkillers later, but they don't show him going to the pharmacy counter to get those pills. Yeah, they can't turn you away at the emergency room, but if you show up to the pharmacy with no money, you're not getting the medicine unless you have a gun and a ski mask.

Otherwise, you just sit there, in pain. And when I say "sit there," I mean at work, not at home -- there's no way that guy's job comes with lots of paid sick days. See, that's what having a shitty cubicle job is really like: It involves multiple stretches of sitting in that chair even when you're in so much pain that you long for the sweet release of death.
In tv land, hourly wage earners live like professionals, and professionals live like millionaires

That choice that virtually all of us have to make -- nice house or car vs. free time and a social life -- simply doesn't exist for them.

you know what I've never seen happen in a movie or sitcom, ever? A character being unable to get somewhere because they can't afford gas, or can't afford a car repair.



Every sitcom occasionally will do a "change of scenery" episode -- usually to Las Vegas or some tropical location, and usually during sweeps. They may wind up having some financial catastrophe while they're there (a gambling mishap, a hilarious accidental marriage), but the cost of the travel itself will never get mentioned. When Friends wanted to do an episode in Las Vegas, they just cut to everyone on the plane, as if last-minute tickets from New York to Las Vegas are the price of a subway token and not freaking $2,000 (and then there's the hotel, meals, cab fare, etc.). The crew on Scrubs dropped everything to go to the janitor's wedding in the Bahamas. When the fictional version of Louis C.K. got the urge, he took a spontaneous trip to China. When the wage slaves on Workaholics want to go to Jamaica, they go.

And this is so much worse than the "gas is free" thing above because in real life, the price of a plane ticket forces us to make some horrible choices. In a TV drama, if there's some emotional situation in which a character can't be at a wedding, or a funeral, or a parent's death bed, it's for plot/character reasons ("I'm still in love with her!" "I just can't forgive him for what he did to us!" "It's too hard seeing him like this!"). In real life, you miss that shit because you can't afford the trip.

In a recent episode of Broad City -- maybe the best comedy on TV right now -- one of the struggling, 20-something girls (both of whom work part-time customer service jobs) goes on a wacky misadventure while under the influence of pain medication. She winds up at Whole Foods and accidentally buys $1,500 worth of random items, putting them on a credit card. Probably 120 hours of labor went up in smoke right there, and they'll never mention it again. That's the kind of shit that, in my life, would have kept me up nights.
And that, right there, is what I envy most about fictional characters. It's the most important fantasy Hollywood tries to sell us, and I believe it's the biggest reason middle class people tend to shit on the poor: In TV and movies, even the poorest of the poor have room to mess up and still come back from it. In real life, those kind of second chances are what most poor people would kill for.

Read more: www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-ho…

no matter how dumb their decisions, no matter how costly the failure, they're in exactly the same spot the next week, as if there is no level you can fail to beyond, "struggling, but getting by." They never lose their homes, the bank doesn't seize their businesses, and they don't have to take a second job instead of sleeping. They have room to try things, take risks, and get hurt, because, after all, that's what defines all fictional protagonists: They act. They keep pushing and experimenting. That's what makes them heroes.

But that, friends, is what a long stretch of real-life poverty can beat out of you.

I think this is the part of poverty that is the hardest to understand from the outside: The sheer weight of knowing you won't get those second chances, and how risk-averse it forces you to be. After I failed at one career, I took out $9,000 in loans to take certification classes in another. It turned out I sucked at that, too. And ... that was it. I was out of chances -- no more student loans (the payments were already higher than I could afford), and my credit cards were maxed out. I got bailed out by a laughably unlikely series of events, but had that not happened, there would have been no bold attempts to move away, or start my own business (though I remember looking seriously into several bullshit pyramid schemes intended to gouge desperate people just like me). Those kind of chances take money. That's why the lottery is such a cruel tax on the poor -- it specifically preys on people who are out of options, but still want a way out of that life.

Then, the rich will look at them and shake their head and say, "See? This is why they're poor! They keep blowing their money on lotto tickets and Amway schemes instead of making sound investments." Like ... what? Education? I totally tried that! And even then, it only worked because I had a family member willing to co-sign the loans, and I didn't have to worry about child care.

And this is my point -- I can't help but think that the reason the rich and middle class find poverty so confounding is that they have that Hollywood version of poor people in mind: easygoing stoners and drunks with nice apartments and tons of free time, who have unlimited access to transportation and are held back only by an inability to make sound, long-term decisions. Why would you ever feel sorry for those people? Why would you ever help them? They should get off their asses and just go get a high-paying job writing greeting cards.

Read more: www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-ho…





Basically, without Marcia the movie never would've caught on as anything but another forgettable '70s schlock adventure with a better-than-normal soundtrack, but she was completely written out of Star Wars history by a messy divorce shortly after Empire Strikes Back was released (in fact, the production of Empire had been, in part, an attempt to save their marriage).

In a completely unrelated coincidence, no one made a good Star Wars movie ever again.








       "girls mature faster than boys"

       but that’s cause we’re expected to though

   its bc we’re not seen as forgivable, we’re not allowed to make mistakes and grow through them, our immaturity is unattractive and annoying, whereas a boy’s immaturity is a respected stage. we’re held to a higher standard not bc we are respected more, but for the exact opposite, we just arent worth the trouble. we’re shoved into the role of care taker and door mat since day one. our purpose is to not stand in the way of male development or happiness. our health and happiness is not the priority.

"I expect that from the boys, but not from you" — I heard that so. often. as a kid. But you know what? I probably would have told you that gender inequality wasn’t a thing anymore, if you’d asked me as a ten-year-old. Because I was so fucking inured to the countless microaggressions I dealt with as a girl that I didn’t even notice them. When teachers said shit like this, it was unfair like rain on your beach day was unfair - it was unfathomable that this kind of unfairness could be changed.

How many little girls are being told right now, in how many different ways, that they are expected to be a pleasant-looking backdrop, a sweet-tempered supporter to the boys around them?


How many little boys are being told right now, in how many different ways, that they can do whatever the fuck they want at the expense of the girls around them?

And how is that affecting them and the kind of people they’ll be as adults? How is it shaping their instinctive beliefs about how women should be treated?




(Potentially helpful for an offenderman storyline?)
           The backlog of rape kits has put justice on hold for a lot of people. Back in 2009, more than 11,000 untested kits were found in a Detroit Police Department storage facility. Some were more than 25 years old.
Mariska Hargitay speaks on some of the issues surrounding the rape kit backlog in Detroit, Michigan. #endthebacklog (x)
It costs between $1,000 – $1,500 to test every single rape kit. There are over 10,000 kits left in Detroit’s rape kit backlog. Your donation can go directly to testing them. Donate to the Detroit Crime Commission’s backlog initiative by clicking here.
I am pretty explicitly anti-police in every respect. But I support Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy and her push to catalogue the egregious backlog of unprocessed rape kits in Detroit.
Her work has already identified countless serial rapists in southeast Michigan, and will continue to identify these rapist pieces of shit as she moves forward.
Who cares if this process leads to conviction or not. Just give us the list. We can take care of the rest.
"After Detroit tested the first 10% of its backlogged kits, authorities were able to link cases to 46 serial rapists." (x)
Just think about it: 46 serial rapists. And the evidence against them was out there, all the time, in those backlogged kits. And that’s just 10% of them

And as for states who let these rape kits go so untested, that is like saying rapists get a free pass to rape in that state “Oh well have the dna evidence, we’ll know you did it, but don’t worry about it because we cant be bothered to prosecute you.”
Steven Universe gem oc concept by arcanineryu
Steven Universe gem oc concept
initial doodle for my gem oc Carborundum. which is a rock that looks like this
www.spiritrockshop.com/images/…
Although it's much prettier in person than in photographs.

i plan on fixing up her design and coloring her in sometime later, but i don't see myself having the time for it for a few weeks. although i still kinda wanna talk about the Steven universe cartoon and gem creation and all that so im releasing the first sketches early, despite them being really rough.

her weapon is a long double-sided pole axe, which can be split into two smaller hand axes. And her special ability of note is being able to sprout sharp, jagged crystals all across her body as armor and weapons, as well as being able to fire off crystal fragments as projectile weapons
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arcanineryu
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i'm an art college student working to try and get into the entertainment industry somehow, either in movies, tv, animation, comics, or videogames. mostly i want to be one of those people who you could see in the credits of some grand piece of entertainment media if you happened to pause at the right moment. to just give a worthwhile contribution so some big popular project that i could be proud of.
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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconhuiriu:
Huiriu Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student General Artist
Hey ;V; I have an headcanon for Offender and I was wondering if you'd like to hear it?
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student General Artist
alright, lay it on me.
Reply
:icongigi317:
Gigi317 Featured By Owner 6 days ago
Hey Arc! I know this is late (and kinda bad lol ) but here's a pic :
gigi317.deviantart.com/art/Sme…
busy busy busy me,lulz hope you enjoy :P
Reply
:iconcutewerewolfgirl:
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
hey hows it going? I am going to use Carboundum maybe for a story
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Student General Artist
Sweet! go ahead and have fun with it :dummy:

and i dont mind you making any alterations to the character if you feel like it.

Like for instance if you feel you're more spiritually connected to weapons like brass knuckles or daggers or whatever than you are to axe's, you can have it as a weapon for her instead.

cus that's what having a gemsona is all about. looking deep into yourself, and saying, "If I were a magic space rock with a dangerous weapon, what kind of a rock would I be?"

that's what I did, and I found axes, and a sharp, glittery rock that looks like what happens when you spill car oil on a puddle who's primary function is to be the "sand" part of industrial sandpaper.

but you might not be a rainbow sandpaper rock like carborundum, maybe you're a smooth and shiny rainbow rock like rainbow hematite.
and maybe swinging around axes might not seem natural in your hand, maybe you're a spiked chain, or a club, or a guan-dao kind of a person. like would you rather have flesh be sliced to bits beneath a blade, or feel bones break beneath your enemy's skin? Or both! such as in the case of a warhammer!
these are the questions one has to ask themselves in the magic space rock process.

Although if you wanna skip the soul searching that's fine too.

I guess i just kinda got excited about portraying the innermost you in magic space rock form.
Reply
:iconcutewerewolfgirl:
cutewerewolfgirl Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
I would have sword and an emerald be my gem since its green like life and a new beganing, and a sword as a weapon because I love how they wield threw the air, like a knight's sword they used in old Europe since I love the history on that continent and the legends. I nick named her Carb for short
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Student General Artist
ooooooo, neat.
and yeah, Carb is probably the best we could do with her long ass name.

you know, that just made me think of a gemstone that would be great for fusions. it's called Beryl, and it's the legit name for stones like emerald, which is really just green Beryl.
it comes in all sorts of different colors.
Like if it's blue, then it's gemstone name is aquamarine, if it's a yellowish green it's called heliodor, if it's yellow it's golden beryl, if it's clear it's goshenite, if it's pink it's morganite, and if it's red it's called scarlet emerald, and of course, as mentioned before green beryl is called emerald.

You can also do some pretty fun stuff with gems like olivine, which is also green, but it's more of a light green than emerald. or titanite (also known as sphene), which is super rare and has titanium in it!
That would probably be a good fusion gem/name, titanite. like the titanic titans of old, but mostly green in color.
like, look how nut's these titanite gems can be!

www.craftycristian.com/wp-cont…

www.gggems.com/images/Sphene/S…

www.mineral-forum.com/message-…

gem stuff is fun.



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(1 Reply)
:iconquimpoop:
Quimpoop Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015
Herps
Reply
:iconlarafanvgc:
larafanVGC Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What's the name of your ask blog for Offenderman? :)
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
Reply
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