Offenderman Tumblr blog responses condensed-part 5

Anonymous asked: Hey Arc, do you ever use Smexy to RP with your followers?
Isn’t that kind of what she’s doing now?


Anonymous asked: Are you offended by people who ship you with their own OCs? Or do you embrace the various and assorted bitches?
I am one of the greatest man-whores to ever walk the face of the earth!
If anything I’m disappointed there isn’t MORE smut of me being shipped with everyone else fictional or otherwise.




anonymous asked:
What if a victim screamed out loud enough for everyone within a two block radius to hear? What would you do then?
It’s not a problem.





Anonymous asked: Smexy? Can you transform into any animals? If so how about a shark? o3o
About in the same way that with enough cosmetic surgery YOU could be turned into a shark.




Anonymous asked: Do you wear socks with your boots?
Nah, I don’t bother with socks for the most part.




Anonymous asked: Do you have any hidden talents?
*He takes off his hat, pulls a white rabbit out of it, hands the rabbit to you, and puts his fedora back on*




Anonymous asked: 2 questions: why are you sexual offenderman and not like idk maybe waffleman or something? did there just have to be atleast one rapist in creepypasta or something? and when i see lemons about u im like can u not please? ok well thats all so see ya ( is it a bad thing that when i hear your name im like WHAT WHO? bye
That’s like asking why was someone even born if they were to end up living a pointless life accomplishing nothing. It’s not up to you or your friends or whatever who pops into existence or not, shit just happens.

And based off what Ive seen of how people often treat most of the other of the “creepypatsas”, people already wanted to make the lot of them out to bee a bunch of sex fiend husbando’s and wifu’s, so why not have a guy like me around to make things official?


Anonymous asked: im 13 would u fuck the hell out of me
Would you raise a stink in the news if you suddenly disappeared, never to be seen again?


Anonymous asked: Smexy, do you like lasers? Well, do you chase them?
If I’m drunk enough yes.



Anonymous asked: If you can teleport dirt off couldn't you teleport anything out of you? Like if you drank poison?
Somewhat, but it’s much harder to teleport out stuff once it’s inside and getting all mixed up with blood and such.



Anonymous asked: Hey Fendy, how would you feel about someone willingly giving themselves to you out of pure love for you?
Heh heh heh… sucker.





finnickthefan asked: HAVE YOU DONE THE DIDDLY WITH A CACTUS
Yep. Multiple different kinds of cactus.





Anonymous asked: Smexy, can I make sushi out of your tendrils? *looks up at him with big beady eyes* pweeeeease~
If you want to risk giving yourself intestinal cancer, then yes.
Knock yourself out.




Anonymous asked: I actually have two questions. 1st : why do you rape/kill people? 2nd: do you rape/kill anyone or do you pick a specific gender?
I’ll rape and kill you if you don’t stop asking me that question.



Anonymous asked: Oh no! It seems I broke my pelvis. Whatever can be done, Dr. Smexy?
We could have sex?
I mean sure, your hip would still be broken, but still, totally worth it am i right?





Anonymous asked: Hey smexy, did you hear? It's mating season for slenders.
I wish my lineage of brothers had a mating season  


louva64290 asked: Do you like osiria rose? It's a bit like me. White and pure on the outside and blood red on the inside
I’m a bit like a watermelon in that sorta way.
I have skin on the outside and wet mushy bits on the inside.


Anonymous asked: So do you just give a rose to anybody or do you draw the line at certain people?
If they could incinerate me on the spot, then I might just have to consider against giving them a rose.



Anonymous asked: Hi. My name is Dahlia. What does the blue rose stand for and what does the red rose stand for?
The blue rose stands for, “Im gonna fuck whoever touches that flower”.
And the red rose…. also stands for “Im gonna fuck whoever touches that flower”.

In other words, they mean exactly the same thing, they’re just different colors.


juliehidalgo1 asked: Who would you do, a hot girl with STD's, or a bitchy, chubby girl?
Both.
Maybe even at the same time.



Anonymous asked: Why just why do you rate woman ???????
Cus sometimes they just need easily understood feedback on their life choices on a scale from one to ten.



Anonymous asked: There are a lot of Slender beings in our world, who among them have you met or seen? Did you find them attractive or something? Just curious < w >
I would fuck all of them if I could.




Anonymous asked: I guess I will be your bitch.... I have nothing left to live for...
That’s quitter talk.

How do you expect to be able to whore it up with the best in the business when you have no confidence in your bitchy ability’s?

Dont give up, be the best bitch you can be.


pinacolada101 asked: You have issues bro. I bet you can't go one day without fucking something.
Can so!

I’ll have you know that I can go as long as THREE WHOLE DAYS without fucking someone.



Anonymous asked: I died a little inside... How's your day?
I ripped my heart out and jammed it in somebody else like a wet sponge



melodycasper asked: So basically you will fuck your victim even if they take the rose or not
No, they still gotta take the flower.  But humans will pick up pretty much anything sparkly that you put in front of them, so it’s usually not much of a roadblock for me.



Anonymous asked: Young boys are on your menu too I take it?

Along with crotchety old men, narwhals, and washing machines.


eh-leathary-lemon asked:W..... Washing Machines?
*wiggles eyebrows at you suggestively with a slight smirk*





Anonymous asked: *casually sprays Offender with lots of weed killer and a mixture of sulfur* keep those damn roses away from me!
….Great, now I smell like chemicals and farts.



taro-umazaki asked: what is your favorite thing about Arc?
She’s been able to explain a lot of things to me that I might not have been able to figure out without her help.




Anonymous asked: How many girls have u gotten pregnant???? -_-
One.



ask-archer-the-slender asked: Chloe: What helps you calm down?

Drugs mostly.


Chloe: Oooooh okay. Although I question that. If you can heal quickly, wouldn’t the effects of drugs pretty much not exsist with you? Or do you down bleach to get high? *chuckles a bit*
Bit of both. I usually use way stronger drugs in larger amounts, but also with a lot of practice Ive figured out how to keep drugs lingering in my system, so that way I can actually get drunk off of beer and stuff instead of having to down shots of vodka every 2 minutes.
Although i’ll still purge them on reflex if I get startled or attacked or something similar.
So if I’m high and someone throws a brick at my face unexpectedly I probably wont be staying high for much longer.  
So I try not to pick fights as much when I’m hanging around here with the other supernatural beings cus it’ll mess with the stuff I take to keep me calmer.


Anonymous asked: So, is it that you're actually attracted to whatever you're attempting to have sex with or that you're attempting to fuck it because it can (probably) be fucked and you want to fuck something?
I’m attracted sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m all lovey dovey about it and would want to take care of them, hang out, and raise kids together or anything. Just cus I’m looking to fuck them doesn’t mean I care about them is what im saying.


Anonymous asked: Are you into other slender beings? Or do you just like humans?
I’m into everything.




mrlexie asked: Does age matter to you? .-.
It does matter, but probably not in the way you’re thinking of.


Anonymous asked: Do slender pepole crave human flesh? >.<
Yep.
Not to an absurd degree though. It’s just the first choice when it comes to craving meat. Like instead of wanting a steak or a hotdog or something, you’d rather have raw human flesh, while eating other kinds of meat stuff kinda becomes like eating spam and tofu.
So being a slenderbeing eating only regular, cooked human food, kinda makes you the equivalent of the kind of person who has microwave pizza and hot pockets for every meal of the day.  



Anonymous asked: i am freezing someone please cuddle me or set me on fire either is fine
How about I set myself on fire and then cuddle you that way?




Anonymous asked: Hey Smexy its me OMGwolfygirl, I lost my account so I have question: So what is your faveriote city to find women? And would you be concerned about a vigilante rescuing women you try to give a rose to?
Scientific bases in Antarctica. *he says sarcastically*
And no, that doesn’t worry me at all.




Anonymous asked: What is your avarage hieght?
Minimum height is about 6′3, typically I’m around seven feet, and generally I’ll adjust my height based on who I’m with or who I’m stalking so that I’m taller than them, but not too intimidating. Like if they’re 4′11 I’m probably not going to go up to them as a 8 foot tall giant.


Anonymous asked: Smexy, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? :3
Almost every day.
Ive got a lot of obsessive floozys in the rape dungeons




Anonymous asked: Assumption: You are the sassiest person with the biggest balls ever.
Actually, Ive seen some dude’s with elephantiasis in my time, and their balls were bigger than basketballs.
And to be honest, I’m not really looking to compete with them on that.
I’d rather keep my balls practical, like Olympic gold medalists in effective ball use.



Anonymous asked: How do you feel about necrophilia? Ever tried it, eh?
Of course I have.




ask-splendorman-splendid asked: " Have you ever developed a pure white rose before? " ,w,
One time I developed a small purple rosebush, but I got tired of rose breeding pretty quick.


“ oh? A bore? Or too difficult? ”
After I lost everything to caterpillars and drunk shenanigans, I just didn’t have the heart to start over again from scratch.  



Anonymous asked: You know, you would think people would eventually tire of asking the same old 'Do you fuck X' question... don't you ever get tired of answering it?
Nah, I just like making them read however many dozens of posts that occur in between each time somebody asks that question.



lioness-strong asked: True, I could ignore stuff. Logic is just stronger suit of mine, so I like to keep things as "real" as possible. Back to the sadistic side, it's really just a anything goes right? At least that I'm getting from reading the different things on him.

Arc: Pretty much yeah, although he is very good at picking up on verbal and nonverbal cues, and as such is very good at shifting mid stream to a more effective endpoint.
You see, Offender rarely goes into a situation with a specific end goal in mind outside of fulfilling his petty and constantly changing whims, being more of a “see where the river takes me and act like wherever it takes me is where i wanted to end up all along”.
it just takes a long time for people to pick up on this character trait of his both because of how he will often shift his personality in order to seem more attractive, and because it’s just hard for most people to comprehend that lazily going along with whatever happens, and being a dangerous killing machine aren’t always mutually exclusive things

probably the best way to see this is his character, that if you have been following my blog for long enough, you probably would have noticed his inability to pick favorites when asked decide between two or more choices that he likes.
this is because his system of value judgement outside of “get sex” is based almost entirely on what he has  or what he is currently in the process of obtaining, rather than preconceived notions of what he might possibly want in the future.
For instance, if being asked “What do you prefer, blonds or brunettes?”
His thought process will go ‘Well, I am currently having sex with a blond, so i’ll go with blonds’
same if it were vice versa. He’s currently having sex with a brunette, so he’d go with brunette.
if he were doing a blond and a brunette he would pick whichever was currently doing a better job.
but since most ask him these sorts of questions when he’s not doing either of them, he cant make a decision.
so for another example, if you ask him what his favorite kind of chocolate is, he wont be able to answer, but if you give him a bar of chocolate and ask for his opinion, he’s liable to say that the chocolate is better or worse than some of the other chocolate he’s had in the past.
So often times the only chances in which you’ll see him make a definite decision as to whether or not he wants something is to tell him he cant have it, even though he wants it, which is much of the reason why he’s more known for rape than plain sex. Telling him no wakes him want it more than saying yes.

so to put this thought process in context, he’s pretty much built for hundreds upon thousands of frequent, variable, short encounters with an immense variety of different people/things to interact with, making him one of the single most prolific of all the creepypastas when it comes to sheer number of victims. (seriously, compared to slenderman, who probably only takes at most a few dozen victims in a year, offenderman will typically number just over a thousand victims per year)
an because of this he cant afford to specialize very much in the pursuit of specific encounters like we can (for instance you work to get your specific job, get married to a specific person, etc.) because that would jeopardize his enjoyment of and endless number of other random encounters. for instance, if he picked a favorite type of person, it could lesson the impact of another type because of him preferring someone else over them. with the end result being that he is able to rape literally thousands of people without getting bored or wanting to stop.

but it does make things very difficult for him in instances in which he is required to be more stable in his interactions with people. having to encounter them over and over without any memory wiping, for months at a time.
Although he’s not stupid, he’s aware of such problems involved with having such a different thought process than most of his prey.

This is part of the reason he even has Arc as a proxy at all. and since you were asking about writing her as a character i might as well touch on her a bit as well.
so knowing the above, give it some thought as to why Arc why the hell would a supernatural being need a proxy for freaking blogging. why would Arc as a character be so long lived on this ask blog instead of just swapping over to an exclusively offenderman run ask blog? just have offender type his own damn responses instead of getting someone to help do it for him?
well, it’s simple.
Sexual Offenderman finds blogging to be super hard you guys.

He is literally the worst at blogging. He is so bad at blogging, he has to hire someone to help him blog.
And he is such a terrible blogger, because he is crazy inconsistent, and has trouble dealing with people who will remember his actions from even as little as a few weeks ago, let alone months or even years. not to mention he’s deprived from most of the social cues and even smells and such that he would get from speaking to someone in person that would allow him to make effective snap decisions when it comes to how to react to people.

And what makes Arc so invaluable to offender, both on and offline, is that she’s way better than he is at understanding things through text, making decisions, and thinking about things in the long term, making her a halfway decent reference point for him to use when faced with instances in which he has to plan his own future or interact with people on a daily basis.

She’s a tool being used to help him achieve the sort of experiences that require more than just a few weeks of effort on Offenders part, and she begrudgingly agrees to it because she knows the more time she can convince Sexual Offenderman to waste time doing things like getting invested in answering questions on a blog, watching cartoons, and interacting on a regular basis with other supernatural beings that could potentially be helpful in keeping the guy in check, the less time he has to rape people, and the lower his total victim count for the year ticks down, perhaps even permanently if she can get him to take up enough time wasting habits.
Seriously, even bringing his average sexual encounters to under an average of 20 people a week would be a pretty impressive achivement.



roguewarrior3 asked: so offender, have you ever thought of taking some people as proxies for yourself?
I already got a few. Just don’t really have anything for them to do outside of Arc drawing pictures of me.
I had one to hand out roses for awhile, but it turned out to be pretty pointless, and I’ve never needed anyone to stalk or kill people for me, I do all that stuff myself just fine, and getting someone else to do it would just take the fun out of things.
Sure sometimes I need things cleaned and somebody’s gotta take care of the sex slaves while I’m away, but I can just hire people for that.
I’m not going to make a proxy out of every sexy janitor I get to dust my porn collections, fold the lingerie, and hose down the cages.
Proxys are a responsibility, or in other words, they do something wrong and I’m the one who’s gonna get blamed for it!
And for a reason that actually matters , there’s the fact that it takes months, even years to make a legit proxy. That’s a lot of time spent not fucking people for a bunch of servants I don’t really want or need.  



But somehow you still manage to get ahold of Arc. If you don’t mind, I’d like ta ask why you put all that effort into her. She’s a great gal and all, but I just don’t understand why you picked her. No offense, Arc, but I’m just curious.
Eh, she just kinda worked her way into my routine durring her never ending quest to get rid of me.
Most of the time, going to visit Arc is really about the same as checking my emails and watching a few shows on netflix, with Arc acting as a grumpy reminder for me not to do stuff like take drunk selfies and fry her computer, and helping to point out the funniest cat videos and such.


Anonymous asked: Does anyone at the college you go to know that you do this?
Arc: yep


Anonymous asked: How do you feel about the fans who choose to disregard the evil part of Smexy and focus more on how dorky he is? Do you think this is a bad habit, or do you see it as a way for some to cope?
Arc: a bit of both.
it really is important that people be willing to face the more serious sides of Sexual Offenderman, and that there is enough content of him being depicted in a more serious light for people to benefit from it.
it’s fine that people enjoy the more comedic sides of the character, but this is best done after gaining a decent knowledge base about the more controversial areas of the character, and should not reach the point in which newcomers are never encouraged to take the opportunity to understand the evil aspects of the character and what he does.
in other words, it’s fine to have fun with it and be silly, but you have to face the horrific evils of the character as well, even if you don’t produce content portraying him as such.
After all, this is basically what sets offender apart from other characters. If you only want a sexual character, or a silly charter, you’d be better off with other characters more suited for that purpose, like Deadpool and the like.

If you arent willing to face the topic of rape then you shouldn’t use Sexual Offenderman, and if you decide to use Sexual Offenderman then you should be willing to face the topic of rape.
It’s the most beneficial way of using the character for everyone involved.







lioness-strong asked: Thanks, alright one last thing: Just to get this straight, Smexy can't have sex with people who don't take the rose? Or does he offer it and if they say no he just rapes them anyway? I mean if the rose means consent even if he's forcing them to take it, is it still technically rape? Do you see what I'm getting at here?
Arc: he cant have sex with someone without them taking the rose, but clearly whoever made him use this rather arbitrary limitation didn’t really consider how ineffective getting someone to pick up a pretty flower really was as a method of forcing him to get peoples consent before having sex with them.

At best it is little more than the illusion of consent, rather like many of the flimsy excuses used in victim blaming, which is pretty much the roses closest figurative equivalent.
Basically saying that someone deserved to be raped because they were wearing revealing clothing or that they deserved to be in an abusive relationship because they were too love sick to notice the warning signs early enough is basically like saying that you deserved to be raped by a supernatural rape monster because you accepted a pretty flower from a shady looking dude.
Which is stupid, because Sexual Offenderman could literally have put a gun to your head and told you to touch the flower, or else,  if he felt like it.
And the fact that he did end up raping you doesn’t become your fault just because you didn’t know what you were getting in to when offered a flower.
it’s still Offendermans fucking fault because he’s the one who decided to rape you.
and that’s basically what the whole rose thing is about.






lioness-strong asked: I felt bad after sending the original question because of how I had worded it and I guess my resulting guilt made me misread what you were saying. I'm glad that I at least understood that point enough to get it correct. Which sucks for the victims... Also on the rose contract, it's forever isn't it? One rose and your his for the rest of your probably short life?
Arc: yep. although most people actually survive Offenderman to live a long life riddled with anxiety problems they cant explain.



Anonymous asked: We all know how Smexy feels about porn of him, but how do you feel Arc?
Arc: I can appreciate it when people put a lot of effort and skill into it, same as any other piece of art, but i generally don’t care for it much.



louva64290 asked: I was wondering....if you erease peole memories than how would arc know that you didn't rape her?
Arc: I can’t know for sure. I just have to go off of the evidence I have available. And so far ive found no proof of him being successful in that area




thebloodyqueen99 asked: Excuse me Offenderman but can you speak??

You mean like out loud with words and stuff?
Yes, but I cant record anything without the audio getting super distorted. even when I really want to.


Anonymous asked: How do u look fabulous
That sounds like a question for my bro Trenderman.



louva64290 asked: If it rain in my dream, can i call that a wet dream?
If you piss yourself in your sleep, does that count as a wet dream?


Anonymous asked: What season do you like the most?
I suppose summer since it makes it easier to dump people after I’m done with them since there’s less issue of them freezing to death or whatever.
But really it depends where I’m at for which season is best for stalking.


Anonymous asked: What other fashion besides the trench coat, hat and birthday suit do you have? If any?
Lots and lots of lingerie.


Anonymous asked: What was it like changing from man to beast?
Why don’t you go on a drug fueled murder spree and find out for yourself?



ask-raverman-the-slender asked: Raver: *Walking down the street, Raver looked down an alleyway, noticing Offender bearing down on a petite girl and offering her a rose. Raver walked on down the alleyway towards them* Offender! What's up? Random Chick: *The girl looked over towards the man striding over towards them, her blush fading* I- I have to go... it was nice meeting you. *she strode off past them both, moving a strand of hair out of her eyes as she went*
*she didn’t get far however, before Offender teleported up directly behind her, cupping a hand over her mouth to stifle her startled scream before quickly snapping her neck, her body going entirely limp in his hands.
Offender slinging the limp corpse over one shoulder before turning back to look at Raver and say.*

Just doing my thing. How’s it going with you?



Anonymous asked: Have you ever planted a rose somewhere in a dark room while someone was blindly searching for something?
Yep.


Anonymous asked: Yes condom or no condom?
Sometimes condom, but mostly no.



nikifizz16 said: Why would he even need them seeing as he can’t get an std or give you one so like what’s the point?


Two words.
Novelty condoms.


Anonymous asked: Sooo you wear condoms for aesthetic purposes?
Among other things. Like a lot of people can get pretty turned on by them in the same sort of way lingerie or a striptease could turn them on.

They’re also good for stuff like drug application so it wont just wipe off. Lot of the more out there ones have all sorts of chemicals involved. Like I even found one that’s basically got pepper spray in its interior lining, but there’s a bunch of different kinds out there to try.


Anonymous asked: Do you purr like an actual kitten? If so, that is adorable, Just plain, Freakin, Adorable.
If there’s one thing Ive learned, its that the pickup artists have it all wrong, and that what the ladies really want is giant sweet-smelling snuggly cat-men with a sexy voice.


wintershythe asked: Arrrrrc this dudes pissen me off callen me fat >:c
Tell him about how you could censor his dick with a pine needle!



ask-archer-the-slender asked: Chloe: So how did you find out your saliva had healing proprieties? Was it on yourself or a stranger?
I think it was back when I was french kissing a homeless man that I really knew for sure that it was the saliva that was healing people.


Anonymous asked: Do you ever give your victims aftercare? If so, how?
I lick them all over.



wild-crazy-and-beautiful asked: A young woman was handing out red roses happily. She gave them to couples and to men and woman who would give them to there significant other. But no one ever gave her a rose.
* but little did she know that her luck was about to change, as probably the only man within a ten mile radius known to randomly hand out roses to strangers, (outside of maybe the occasional charitable flower street vendor) was sitting on a bench just a few yards away, playing bejeweled on a stolen IPhone*


finnickthefan asked: Do you even smoke weed everyday.
Who needs weed when Ive got all this heroin?



Anonymous asked: How is it that you're able to purr?
I’m not even sure how I can speak so clearly with a mouth full of kitchen knives for teeth, let alone how the whole purring thing works.


Anonymous asked: Someone told me you don't actually rape women you kill them is that true?
Do you see the name “Ladykiller” or some shit anywhere on this blog? No?
Then best to go with the idea that I’m basically named Rapist-Man for a fucking reason.  



Anonymous asked: Do you trust anyone with your life? What is your perfect pizza? If you could have personally witnessed anything, what would you want to have seen? If you could be any age for a week, what age would that be? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Swim in a pool or the ocean?
-Yes.
-Make your own pizza buffets.
-Actual dinosaurs fucking.
-I don’t really age anymore so it wouldn’t matter how many years old I was I’d still be exactly the same.
-With enough peer pressure anything is possible!
-Nah, the mouse is just a figurehead. The real masterminds are the shareholders.
-The ocean. It’s got more going on.



Anonymous asked: What do you think about Offenderwoman?
I’m getting a lot better at pulling it off without as much of a hassle



Anonymous asked: Smexy are you allowed to kill any of your fans or followers if they upset someone in your group, would you kill the person who did it?
Are you trying to get me to kill haters or something?
Cus protecting people from internet bullies isn’t really my style.



Anonymous asked: Heya Sexy~ Just anither fellow Offenderman on Twitter from another dimension. I just got myself a new proxy, do you have a specific sign you engrave into their skin like Slender does with his proxies, or if you don't what would it look like?
Carving your symbol into the flesh of proxys is stupid.
The whole point of proxys is to have a middle-man who wont draw unwanted attention to you.
Physically marking them like that defeats the purpose of using a proxy in the first place.
Like signing your name and address on a murder weapon.


selene-slender asked: "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass." ;D
It’s all true.



Anonymous asked: For arc: Silent Hill or Resident Evil? | For Smexy: If you were COMPLETELY HUMAN for a few days, how would you spend them?
Arc: ive actually never played any of the silent hills, so i can’t really make that decision.

Being a homeless whore probably.



Anonymous asked: What happens to you if you were to 'ignore' giving your victim a rose on purpose?
Not saying.


Anonymous asked: Roses are red, grass is greener, When I think of you I touch my weiner
I’m so proud





Anonymous asked: you're an asshole. D:<
Awwww, thank you sweetie :3
*his voice imitating an old woman’s as he pinches your cheek.*


Anonymous asked: *A woman is in the alley singing 20 percent cooler, wearing a black hoodie that covers her face, but reveals a bright blue tank top underneath with a pair of green short-shorts and grey combat boots, the men around her are whistling and calling her by her artist name " Sinnah". Some men are waving pads of paper and pencils so she can give them her autograph.*
*Offender, slipping into the alley unnoticed, quietly snags one of the men from the crowd and teleports away with him.
Expecting that in the current uproar, it would be a fair amount of time before anyone noticed his victim were missing. If anyone noticed at all, or cared for that matter.
It took less than a minute for the man to take the rose. After all, suddenly finding yourself in a dimly lit, mostly empty room with a brightly colored rose set in front of you is enough to get almost anyone curious enough to touch the thing if they didn’t know any better.
But it was many hours later before he showed up again. dumped in the street’s with no memory of his ordeal beyond a sick, gut feeling of being violated.*



ask-zana-morningstar asked: Zana: Hay look, I'm going to ask you something you're most likely going to give me a shit answer to, or may not even answer it at all, but I'm asking anyways. Why do you heal some of your victims? I don't see the point. I mean for one it would save you from having to wipe their memories if you didn't and two I don't see you giving a fuck about someone's life. Humans are a overpopulating species so I know its not to conserve food. I just don't understand the point.
Overpopulated maybe, but your question stinks of having never actually hunted people in mass.
</i> This isn’t like hunting rabbits is what I’m saying.</i>

Humans are smart, are generally pretty aware of their surroundings, and can quickly spread the word to millions of their kind within a single day soon as they get the slightest whiff of a serial killer, with about the same reaction to serial rapists if they can find a clear connection between the victims.

I do both, and can go through dozens of playthings in a single week.
In a year, my victim count is literally in the hundreds, even thousands if it was a particularly busy year.
They can freak out across the globe at the death of a single human, I have to take a small war’s worth of humans every year, and do it almost completely undetected.

Hell, in a lot of the places I visit, that is literally enough to noticeably raise the total percentage of violent crimes being committed for the year, meaning that I would pretty much never be able to visit small towns again without raising their rape and murder reports by as much as 100%.
I mean, are you really so naive as to think that the humans wouldn’t noticed if suddenly eight people in their neighborhood clearly got raped?

But if I heal and wipe the memories of the majority of the people I take,then as far as the humans are concerned then it’s like nothing ever happened, regardless of how much lingering mental trauma the one I took might have.
I mean it’s not like they’re gonna jump to the conclusion that they must have been raped by a supernatural being when they suddenly start getting anxiety attacks or depressed for no good reason.
And I get off Scott free.

So no, it’s not about conserving them as food, it’s about conserving their cultures, and their ignorance of my existence.
Cus in case you forgot, I kinda live with the humans, and I’d want to be bothered by the news freaking out about a new batch of people murdered every single week, and have to listen to everyone talk about it as if it were the only topic of discussion as much as the next guy.
Not to mention all the shadowy anti-supernatural task force’s that would suddenly be on my case thanks to my clearly traceable path of destruction across the world.
Honestly, it’s really all just more problems then it’s worth. I’d only bother with it when I got really bored and wanted to shake things up a bit.  


selene-slender asked: "If you could have any instrument to play besides the violin what would it be? Because jazzy stuff isn't really specific"
ask-sexual-offenderman: Eh, it’s in the past. Not really any use thinking about it now.
Side’s, they’ve got six necked guitars nowadays! What more could a guy able to grow as many limbs as he wants ask for?
selene-slender asked: “……well I was going to say sex. But you don’t really ask…”
Hey, there’s only so many times you can sex up a complex musical instrument before something breaks.

selene-slender: She went silent and stared at him “I imagine having sex with a flute would be hard…”
Not as hard as you might think~



ask-raverman-the-slender asked: Raver: *opening the door, he peers inside cautiously* Hellooooo~! Anybody home~?
*you spot a moist Offenderman wearing nothing but a small towel around his neck*
Sure is, so what brings you here?
Nothin’ much. I just wanted to check up on ya. See what you were up to an’ all. he leaned up against the wall, crossing his arms and awaiting a reply
Oh, you know, raping people.
Still got two of them in the back matter of fact, if you feel like joining us. Just don’t kill the smaller one cus Ive still got more stuff lined up for him later.
he puts his hands up, warding off the offer I… I’m good. If you do decide to torture him, I’d gladly watch that, but if not, then nah. I’m not much into raping. Especially humans. Of course there are always exceptions, but yeah. I’m good.
So you’re saying you’re down for watching so long as I don’t rape either of them?
Well I’m not saying that, I’m just askin’ if, I dunno… holler up when you’re done, I guess? he asked ….Eh, whatever. It’s up to you. If you don’t feel like doin’ that, then I’m game for watchin’.
he made a slight shrug
Your loss.

giving raver a friendly pat on the shoulder, he continued with
I’ll hit you up later, we could go get drunk or something .before he pushed raver out of the doorway and closed the door.

skepticfeline asked: Do you actually have an real... friends, Smexy? I know you like to SAY that Arc is your friend, but you're probably just doing that to piss her off, so.. yeah.
When have I ever said that Arc was my friend?


Anonymous asked: Who taught you how to play the violin? Why did you want to learn?
It was pretty much the only instrument we had laying around, so I just rolled with it since I had wanted to learn an instrument.
Still kinda bummed I hadn’t picked something jazzier instead, but it was probably for the best.


Anonymous asked: Do you eat people? If so is there a reason besides the taste?
I dunno, nutrients, vitamins, minerals, good source of energy, satisfying to hear them begging for their life.
Plenty of reasons.


Anonymous asked: What are the down sides of being a Slender? You seem pretty relaxed with the whole idea of being one. Surely there are mind-messing things that comes with it too?
Well, for one thing I cant get any tattoos.



Anonymous asked: I know you can change it, but what is your standard or fixed height?
Around humans, about 6'4, hanging out on my own, about seven feet tall, around other slenderbeings, typically a bit taller than that.
I’ll honestly shift my height around a couple of times a day to be honest though. just kinda depends on the situation.


juliehidalgo1 asked: How often do you smoke?
Pretty much whenever I’m outdoors and not with anyone who would find smoking to be a turn off.


theinvisiblecanada asked: U-Uh hello there Offenderman..! *shivers* Do you mostly like coffee...?
Yeah, especially when it’s closer to a milkshake smoothy with added caffeine than anything resembling coffee.


silvia-rosemary asked: If you consumed less alcohol would you be less sexually active?
If anything I’d be MORE sexually active cus I wouldn't  be taking up so much time getting drunk all the time.


Anonymous asked: I'm also sure you cannot rape a willing participant.
Arc: but they can still be put into a coma, or killed, or be kidnapped and held in a rape dungeon until they starve to death no problem.
word to the wise? do not gamble your life with offender. it’s the suckers like you that try to track him down willingly and eagerly that he really likes to exploit.
he thinks it’s funny how people assume that just because they might have agreed to it at first, that it can’t turn into a rape later on.


xxsweetdreamsdarlingxx asked: Hey Smexy, how many times has a woman, or man, rejected you even though you gave them a rose?
Lots of times. I mean why do you think they call me Sexual Offenderman in the first place? It’s not because of all the consensual sex I’m having

Anonymous asked: Skinny or chubby girls?
Both.


dydrya asked: Yo Smexy, who do u hate most? Slendy, Trendy, or TenderMan??
Never met a Tenderman from my universe. Maybe slendy killed him way back when.