literature

Quote/ Witty banter Reference - part 33

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We disgrace our heroes by permitting villains.


Our culture's truly shitty attitudes toward sex have made rape one of the only crimes that make a victim feel the shame that should be felt by a perpetrator.


Oppression is when a lot of traditions, laws, stereotypes, and social rules give one group unfair social, political, economic, and/or legal power over another. Privilege is the opposite of oppression - it’s when you’re part of the group with the power.


One day I hope I am the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her.
The trick is to get a really big hat and then scream


And let's be frank here: If ISIS released a video depicting themselves sexually assaulting a captured American soldier, the nation would demand their entire hemisphere get nuked. So when the same thing happens at the hands of a fellow American soldier, the victims deserve better than "What did they expect?"


Pentagon estimates that one in three servicewomen are sexually assaulted -- twice the civilian rate.


One study by Human Rights Watch found that military victims of sexual assault are 12 times more likely to be retaliated against if they report the crime than the perpetrator is to see justice.


Whenever there's a war, you always picture families back home worried sick about the kid they sent off to fight, imagining all of the terrible things that can happen to them at the hands of Al Qaeda or the Taliban. You don't think of them fretting over said kid getting sexually assaulted in the barracks by their own comrades ... even though that is far, far more common.


statistically, most undetected rapists are repeat offenders. And most repeat rapists will rape between five and six people.


someone: hey are u alright
me: *laying facedown on the floor* yeah why do you ask


Sunny D taste like someone got challenged to make orange juice with no oranges


Most victims of sexual assault in the U.S. military are men. That's right -- at least 14,000 male soldiers are raped every year.


But here's another Catch-22: Some of you reading that already have tagged Bethany as a whiner, proof that women are too fragile to hang with the dudes. But if she doesn't complain, the reaction is "See? Women like it when you do that shit!" If you're starting from the position that boys will be boys and it's the women's job to adjust, it's a no-win for them.


isn’t it creepy that from the day you are born you start to die?  Actually! Fun fact!
If “starting to die” is defined as “cells start dying at a faster rate than they are replaced” then you don’t start dying the day you’re born! You’re still growing and cells are still being replaced pretty quick for about 22 to 25 years!
So 25. THAT’S when you start to die!


You don’t have to want to date every single person that you have the theoretical capacity to be attracted to. And this goes for all sexuality’s, be it straight, bi, gay, pan, whatever.
And likewise, it’s not right to automatically assume of someone that just because they don’t share your sexuality, they want to date every possible person they can.


If you're wondering who could make such a terrible movie, the answer is a fertilizer salesman named Harold Warren. Literally a shit peddler.


it’s really annoying when people pretend Mars is a valid option for colonization  as some safety net for fucking up Earth “once earth’s resources become depleted”… Like how badly could we possibly fuck up to where Mars (the giant desert planet with no air) becomes a preferred option.. just Recycle


The worst thing in the world can happen, but the next day the sun will come up. And you will eat your toast. And you will drink your tea.


My sweet and doting grandmother (from my mom’s side) who is pushing 67 and still physically limber insisted on taking motorbike lessons after seeing the Vuvalini drive their bikes in the movie. She told me that she loved how the film represented women of her age in an action blockbuster by portraying them as badass ladies of the desert.
My mom, who is in her early 60s, went to go see Mad Max with me. When the Vuvalini appeared, she didn’t react until they took off their helmets. Then she reached over, grasped my arm and said, “Women!!! They’re all women!!”

And then, when we got a good shot of them all, she gasped and said, “Oh!! Oh, they’re all silver women!!” And it blew her mind. More like this.

While being in darkness I didn’t search for the light, I became one.

No offense but I hate it when people sit down next to me to smoke…like sweetie…I was here breathin…


kids having birthday parties and no one showing up is the worst thing im in math class and im gonna cry thinkin about this


how can u say u are not pretty when u are a cluster of stardust, a walking explosion of nebulas like there are constellations that knot your arteries together, you’re beyond pretty, more like a spectacular sight for all of us


I’m not attractive but I’m also not unattractive jus kinda chillin

A client just emailed a nasty letter to complain they hadn’t received an important email. The message was sent as a reply to the email she complained she hadn’t received.

you’re not in the friend zone because you’re too nice, you’re in the friend zone because they’re too nice.
instead of just telling you that you’re an ugly fuck, they went through the trouble of creating some sort of pocket dimension that doesn’t exist to spare your bloated ego even though you most likely don’t deserve that since you’re selfishly trying to get your dick wet under the guise of friendship and kindness anyway.


‘Times are bad. Children don’t listen to their parents and everyone is
writing a book.’
 - attributed to Cicero, 106-43 BC


People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda.

It’s so weird how anti-feminists have Internet to access tumblr dot com but not google……………

you: are you okay?
me: *looks off into the distance*
me: in theory.

right eyebrow: does yoga, is popular, goes to harvard
left eyebrow: is a procrastinator, stays up till 4am each night


I think we’ve gotta recognise that personal space is a thing that exists in the conversational sphere just a much as it does in the physical sphere.
If you refer to someone in familiar terms (e.g., “dear”, “darling”, affectionate nicknames, etc.) when they’re clearly uncomfortable with it, you’re the conversational equivalent of that guy who has no concept of personal space and won’t stop touching people
Don’t be that guy.


why would you ask for nudes. go turn off safe search and google titties wtf stone age bitches can’t work a internet

i think people need to stop glorifying sassiness and bitterness and start promoting the idea of actually being nice and civil to people who did nothing to you.


If Jesus was born from a virgin birth, doesn’t that mean he has only an X chromosome. Wouldn’t that make him female?
----TRANS JESUS TRANS JESUS TRANS JESUS


i feel like tall people at concerts have everything they want in the world

my career plan is to befriend an eccentric elderly billionaire who tries to relive their youth through me by supporting me financially, naming me in their will and moving me into the guest house of their mansion so that we can drink whiskey in the orchard whilst they give me important life advice

Here’s a small reminder, you’re life doesn’t have to be “useful” to society to be meaningful. You give your own life meaning.


“[Men] have such a huge blind spot for the fact that for women, rejection is baked right into the “men approach, women wait’ model.  Men get to assess, evaluate, and choose up front, before they’ve even approached someone – which means they’re rejecting all the other women in the room.”


“I Don’t Hate This Female Character, I Only Hate The Lazy Writing and Shallow Male-Based Wish Fulfillment That Went Into Her”, an increasingly frustrated ongoing novel.


brain:instead of going to bed now, lets stay up another 5 hours doing nothing productive.


It would be so nice to be in an apartment right now with really big open windows and lots of bright light pouring in and and long curtains and the smell of rain floating through it
------The Millennial generation is so broke we’re romanticizing decent housing.


“boys will be bo-“
*flies in, punches you in the face*
bOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
----we will not.
you will do so or i’ll shove responsibility so far up your ass you’ll taste tax bills for weeks


It’s october so we must once again draw battle lines between those who like candy corn and those who do not.
---What battle line nobody likes candy corn
-----fuck you candy corn is delicious
and so the lines are drawn


i’m so tired of this “misogynist with a heart of gold” hollywood trope
i’m so tired of these leading men who treat women like shit until they meet the “right” kind of girl who is worthy of their respect
revealing that they were a good guy all along
i’m so tired of being told my humanity is negotiable
devaluation of women because of their gender should automatically disqualify someone from being considered a good person imo
the commonness of narratives that say, “well yes he’s a bigoted misogynist BUT really he’s a good guy” shows how unimportant most people think women are and how minor an infraction they think bigotry towards us is
same goes for the “racist with a heart of gold” trope




   Dipper:That's it! I can't stand it anymore! Take everything that's yours and leave my house!
   Bill:You know what! I will! I will leave right now! *pick up Dipper and leaves*


Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
---Don’t fucking start with me this morning


The want to draw is there
The ability to however, is nowhere to be seen.


constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if you want it, go get it”
---how about a mix of the two “if its meant to be, its up to me”


I used to think I was a super chill person but that was before I started training myself to notice social justice issues and now that I do I’m just a seething ball of rage.
I still won’t get mad at you if you break my favourite possessions but now I will rant for 20 minutes about the casual misogyny and homophobia in the movie we’re watching.


my favorite theory about anything ever is that the titanic sank because too many people time traveled to that place to try to stop the titanic from sinking

pleeeeeaaaaase don’t make fun of people for being overenthusiastic about their interests. if you see someone getting really excited about something and you think it’s a good idea to ruin their fun (and don’t think people don’t notice your eye rolls and side glances) you’re an asshole


ur gonna have to get through ME first, i’m weak and fragile and it won’t be that difficult but you’RE STILL GONNA HAVE TO


Remember when Disney treated emotional trauma as an actual physical ailment and not the stupid “just stop being upset” thing?


17TH RULE OF FIGHT CLUB: PLEASE DON’T PUT YOUR MOM AS YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT, WE DON’T WANT ANYONE’S MOM SHOWING UP HERE MAKING THINGS WEIRD


Full of hate and ready to date


I want a story where all the dragons were wiped out, but their ghosts hung around and when humans start making either genetic hybrids or robots that are draconic in shape the dragon ghosts posses them and get revenge.


Don’t judge me. You can’t handle half of what I’ve dealt with. There’s a reason I do the things I do. There’s a reason why I am who I am.

Person A being held hostage in a fortress and Person B violently leaving a mess of carnage in their wake in order to get to them. Covered in blood and questionable pieces of enemy remains, Person B finally makes it to Person A in the center of the wreckage and gives them a gentle peck on the forehead before apologizing for the wait.


   some kid:*watches The Incredibles for the first time* WOW THAT'S AN AWESOME MOVIE!
   me:you know they're making a second one
   kid:REALYY??!! WHEN??
   me:next year unfortunately :/
   kid:awwww that's a super long time to wait
   me:*eye twitches*



Longtime RP partner problems
   Us:Okay, this time we're going to develop this relationship slowly. Give it some good, tense buildup.
   Us:(two days later)
   Us:Well, I guess they're married now.

If you’re young and there’s a social/political topic you’ve never given much thought to before, don’t feel pressured to immediately pick a side because someone else (your parents, your peers, a post you saw on Tumblr) told you to. No one is born with strong views & convictions, and it’s okay to sit on the fence until you reach your own conclusions about something. And if you find both sides of an argument too strong to make a choice, it’s okay to stay on that fence.

If I cry in front of you , I’m really hurt . I hate crying in front of people . I feel weak like I’m begging for attention and sympathy and I’m not this kind of person


when u have to be nice to creepy guys so u don’t get murdered :-) #justgirlythings


*puts on my bitch face and walks like a stuck up in public to mask my anxiety*



People who think Britain is paradise and won’t shut up about BBC and tea and say stuff like “If I had a British accent I’d never stop talking”
you are weeaboos
different location, same annoying concept
---teaboos


Undertale is a game about a child who really has to pee.


   someone my age with money:yeah so I just bought this new car and-
   me:that's cool. I can't really afford to buy anything for a while because I bought gum yesterday


Whoever runs for president in 2020 should use the slogan “I have the perfect vision for the future”

“ya’ll need jesus” says me, an avid sinner.
---2,000 years of church history in a sentence

Black Americans killed in 2014 by police outnumber the number of people who died on 9/11/2001 but I don’t see our government waging a war on that terror.


white kid: if ur mexican why cant u speak spanish fluently :/
me: lemme hear u speak some of that 11% finnish 2% scottish 45% italian 31% dutch, 100% puta

i wanna learn how to throw knives so i can throw em like real close n graze somebody to let em know 2 shut the fuck up

well i used to be attracted to people but now im exclusively attracted to abstract art and the concept of death


a show: *has a cool female protagonist*
me: nice
show: *introduces smirking obnoxious boy in the first 5 minutes who will be her love interest*
me: well it was good while it lasted
---Lemme guess. If it was a smirking obnoxious female, it would be okay?
no it would be awesome because then it’d be a lesbian story


Everyone is hating on Banksy right now - and rightfully so - but that bumper reaper has brought so much joy into my life in such a short amount of time.


i wonder if anyone notices that i only wear like three pairs of pants

   game designer:*adds one female character* whew.... being progressive is hard.... but im glad to be on the GOOD side of things *nods sagely and gives her a fanservice outfit*


someone: who hurt you
me: do you want the complete unabridged annotated version or will the beginners introduction suffice

tbh sometimes u just gotta let me be dramatic. bcos i Will get over it! but let me be dramatic first.

tbh I really like my generation because I feel like we have a “we deserve more than we’re getting” mentality and I feel like older generations are like “you can’t always be happy” and “you can’t always do what you want” and ours is taking a dramatic step and being like “why not??” and being the first to really question a society where its citizens dreams and happiness are expected to take a backseat to things like capitalism idk


jobs are for survival, not for joy. not everyone has the luxury or pleasure of loving what they do. they do it bc it pays the bills and everyone needs to stop acting like everyone is supposed to love their job. if you love your job, you are lucky.


it’s really fucked up that we assume love has to be romantic. there are so many girls out there that are upset because they’ve never been in a relationship and so that means no one will ever love them. when in reality, most of those girls are very deeply loved by their family and friends but does it count? no because obviously love only counts if it’s romantic


the moral of hamlet is don’t ever try to go home and resolve conflicts with yr family just stay at college and do gay shit w ur friends
---As an English teacher I am qualified to tell you this analysis is insightful and may be supported fully with textual evidence.


   someone:what r u doing
   me:avoiding
   someone:avoiding what
   me:Everything


More like, pee on life until it gives you lemons


people who struggle with secondhand embarrassment obviously don’t have enough firsthand embarrassment in their lives. be more ashamed, like the rest of us. there’s enough shame to go around. start pullin yer weight
tumblr claims to be the most diverse open community and yet what is this ? i am being shame-shamed?

we live in a world where pizza gets to your house before the police.
----That’s because the pizza guy has consequences if his job is done incorrectly.




That girl was fucking fearless, if she were to stare into the abyss, the Abyss Is Gonna Be The First One To Look Away’


seeing friends get addicted to your favorite game after you introduce them to it


ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends


not sure if this website glorifies social anxiety and self loathing or everyone has reached rock bottom and dark humor is merely a bitter form of comfort

i’m fucked because none of my passions are going to yield financially stable careers and i’m not hot enough to be a trophy wife

the reason i like staying up late so much is because between the hours of 1am-5am, the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me. i could stare at my wall for 4 hours and there would be no consequences. it’s so silent and calm. i love it

Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.

There is something so unbelievably refreshing about meeting individuals who are on the same life frequency as you. Everything feels effortless and natural. You just vibe, it’s fucking beautiful.


1% OF THE WORLD’S POPULATION  IS 73 MILLION PEOPLE


When trains were introduced in the U.S, many people believed that that “women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour,” and that their “uteruses would fly out of [their] bodies if they were accelerated to that speed.”
--I have so much respect for historical women not murdering every man they know


Go up to a guy in a bar and whisper “hey do you wanna get out of here?” and if he says yes, you can sit where he was.


tumblr has been very weak on memes the past few weeks. where are our new memes? why is meme production so far behind? #we crashed the economeme

Time heals all things, except radiation poisoning. Time only makes that worse.


i think it’s funny how christianity made a big deal about mary being impregnanted by god and everyone was like “oh my god the son of god! we must worship him listen to his great wisdom.”
meanwhile, if you said god knocked you up in ancient greece they’d just be like “yeah, me too.”


I deserve someone who actually gives a fuck about me because i’ve spent my entire life making other people happy when all they did was leave


millennial goals and dreams are so minimal
“i want to drive a car that doesn’t break down all the time”
“i want to one day consider buying a place instead of renting”
“i’d like to not be in so much debt”
we are the least entitled generation but we get the most shit
People say that we act entitled - apparently it’s entitled to want to live debt-free and feel financially secure


I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.


why be racist sexist homophobic or transphobic when you could bE QUIET

Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take. Please love by giving, and by taking. Give and be given. If you are only giving and not taking, you’ll know. You’ll know from that small and true voice inside you that we females are so often socialized to silence. Don’t silence that voice. Dare to take.


I wanna fall in love with a dork. A dork that I can have random squirt gun fights with, someone I can watch movies with then throw a grape at their face and have them pretend to get angry and tackle me. I want to both go to the grocery store and sit in the cart while we push each other around, or throw things in it and pretend it’s a basketball hoop. I want to fall in love with someone that I can have fun with not for a day, but for my entire life. I want someone I can stumble through life with, while laughing the whole time.


Sometimes I’m very worried no one will ever legitimately fall in love with me but I’ll be okay



i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice


   kitten:i am going to get UP HIGH on the TALLEST THING
   kitten:GONNA DO IT. I GOTTA
   kitten, on the tallest thing:...this was perhaps, in some manner or form, something akin to a mistake


Partaking in worthless garbage fills you with determination.


“Scars do not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”


being mentally ill + suicidal at a young age (before 18) is. strange, because you grow up with this idea that one day you’ll finally snap, turn off, be brave enough to kill yourself, so you don’t really plan for the future. adulthood- further life, it isn’t for you, nor do you feel included within the future of it. it isn’t.. it isn’t part of your life plan.
and then before you know it you’re 18 and you’re an adult but you never thought you’d get this far and sure it’s great that you’re still alive you guess but also. you feel so alone + lost in a world you never expected or planned to be a part of.


have you ever considered that female celebrities claim not to be feminists/push a watered down version of feminism because it’s fucking unsafe for them to admit to anything else? emma watson gave the most watered down, man friendly speech on feminism i’ve ever seen in my life and men threatened to leak nudes of her and attack her so


I remember when I first found out the truth about “Somali pirates” I got chills because of how horrific the truth was and how insanely creepily well the media had twisted the situation. Every single fucking article making it seem like these “pirates” were just after money or something holding innocent people hostage and I never gave it a second thought, why would I? There was no indication that people were trying to legitimately fight off disgusting imperialism that left nuclear waste in their waters, that over 300 people have died from radiation sickness, that Europeans have been stealing Somalia’s seafood because they overfished their own waters and the indigenous fisherman are starving and so these “pirates” emerged to deal with those stealing their country’s natural resources. The truth is enough to make anyone sick to their stomachs.

interests: that little fast walk birds outside do when they wanna get away from you but they’re not like super committed

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The brain is an organ. Mental illnesses are illnesses of that organ. Brain scans show that there is a physical difference between a healthy brain and a sick brain. Telling someone “You’re not really sick. It’s all in your head.” is like telling someone with asthma “It’s not real, it’s all in your lungs.” The brain is an organ that can malfunction as much as any other organ.

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Imagine playing a survival horror game where instead of being a gritty reporter or a single parent or a tortured soul with amnesia, you’re a cat. You live in a haunted house, and  it is your job to defend your human/s from harm.

Instead of weapons, you fight with your claws. You jump, you twist, and your meows and hisses have different abilities. But if you make TOO much noise, your human/s hush you, and you can’t continue with your assault until they’ve left you be.

There are various spirits and some are helpful. Ghost mice give you life, ghost crickets give you information, and a former Guardian cat is your guide. You have to succeed where your predecessor failed- finding the source of the haunting and getting rid of it.

And if you don’t succeed, your human dies, and you are left alone.
queenofyoursoda

This is amazing and heart breaking and I would hate to lose this game why hasn’t it been fucking made

Ooooh
Maybe like different coats of fur color give you power?
Black- human less likely to shut you
Tabby- more agility
Orange- sharper claws
White- higher spiritual energy
Tortoise- higher defenses
Long hair- cold resistance (keep your human warm from the ghosts)
Short hair- faster recovering time from being shushed

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A post for men about creepy men

I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.

Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:

   A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly
   He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out
   But he doesn’t do that to guys, and
   He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and
   When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable
   And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space
   and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness
   And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy
   So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills
   And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women
   And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target

For example:

   Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.
   Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.

What went wrong here?

   Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.
   Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right.
   Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness
   Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong
   Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy

A rule of thumb for men:

   If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t
   Listen to them about what they tell you
   If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.
   If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men
   Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable
   If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose
   Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men

tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.

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bogleech

“Sketchy art styles are cheap because they just fool your mind into seeing the outline you like best”

You mean like how shading fools you into seeing depth and pose conveys motion that isn’t there? You mean like ART?
mazarinedrake

ART IS SO CHEAP IT FOOLS YOU INTO SEEING THINGS THAT DON’T EXIST

DOWN WITH REPRESENTATION

UP WITH THE CRUSHING UNCERTAINTY OF MODERN LIFE
chiebutt

SKETCHING IS JUST A CHEAP TACTIC TO MAKE WEAK ART STRONGER

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Outside England ‘s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, it’s parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1.40 for cars and £7 for buses.

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo’s own responsibility.

The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.

Executive dysfunction.

The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy … is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day — for 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds … and no one even knows his name.

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anonymous asked:You're annoying

floozys answered:oh god i know, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we were communicating through a media that allows you to not only avoid my content but also block me, or even just walk away and do something else, but unfortunately that’s not the case, you’re 100%  being forced to be in my presence and there’s simply nothing you can do about it

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The Night That Speaks is a short, creepy and very stylish retro horror adventure that sees you exploring the catacombs under a graveyard, and trying to escape a freaky monster with your only defense being your ability to flip it the bird.

As you explore the maze-like labyrinth of the catacombs, you come across notes that help build the story and will eventually come face to face with a freaky unstoppable skeleton monster.  The only thing you can do to aid your escape from this monster is to flip it the bird, proving your courage and momentarily stopping the monster in it’s tracks.

The wonderful Game Boy-esque visual style conveys a surprising amount of detail and really draws you into the game, creating a tense retro-infused horror that you won’t want to flip the bird at.  Spooky stuff.

Play the Full Game, Free (Win & Mac)
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thefeelofavideogame

in movies anyone possessed by satan always curses and acts really vulgar but societal norms have changed since The Exorcist so imagine if someone was possessed by satan but since nobody is shocked by vulgarity anymore satan is forced to just call your waifu shit and try to to convince you how good the Big Bang Theory is
eatavegetableDeactivated

“This child… is possessed!”

“white, straight, male, and cis I;m everything tumblr hates what’s wrong did I trigger you special snowflake :^)”
titleknown

tyrantisterror, given your knowlege of classical medieval demons and folklore and the fact that you just finished a freaking novel based on both, your thoughts on this?
tyrantisterror

That is honestly more in line with how folklore demons acted than almost all modern day demonic possession movies.

Demons weren’t into murder nearly as much as they were into mild pranks and just irritating people.  A demon would totally tell someone their waifu is shit.
ask-blu-patriot

This is incredible and I love it

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Are you offended by these people claiming that them not liking people they don't see as intelligent is a sexual identity, or are you completely against having any sort of preference? What I guess I'm asking is would you say that someone liking someone, and one of those qualities in that person being their intelligence, would that be problematic?



   i’m saying that intelligence is a social construct
   i’m saying that that social construct does not exist in a vacuum
   i’m saying that the western concept of intelligence is ableist, racist, classist, and misogynistic
   i’m saying that when people say “i’m attracted to intelligence” they generally mean “i am attracted to people with similar interests to my own”
   i’m saying that coding interests like quantum physics or philosophy or foreign films as intelligent and interests like fashion, or sports, or harlequin romance novels as unintelligent is fucked up
   i’m saying that ignoring the role that ability, class, race, and gender play in (1) someone’s ability to receive an education, (2) the quality of that education, and (3) their ability to express that education such that they come off as “intelligent” is fucked up
   i’m saying that in addition to your ability to receive a quality education, intelligence is generally also judged based on how well you can present yourself like a middle to upper class abled neurotypical white man (aka the ability to speak verbally, to speak clearly and coherently, to not use AAVE, to not speak in ways that are coded as feminine {ie using the word like a lot}, etc.) and that’s fucked up
   i’m saying that the intelligent/unintelligent dichotomy, which paints “unintelligent” people as less deserving, less human, less evolved, whatever is super fucked up
   i’m not saying you can’t have preferences
   i am saying that, like all preferences, we should be thinking about them critically
   i am saying that your preferences are not a fucking sexual orientation
   i am saying that cis straight “sapiosexuals” do not fucking belong in lgbt+ spaces

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In third grade I had this teacher who would give every student the same grade on each assignment. After the A at the top of the paper, she’d mark all the wrong answers with a red pen, and then would come by each student’s desk to talk to us about where we went wrong. Together we would fix each sentence or math problem until it was right.
At Parent night, one of the dad’s complained that his daughter worked hard to get her A, and that some of the other kids deserved to fail. The teacher allowed him to finish talking, and then responded in the same polite tone she always used in the classroom. “I’m not teaching your children how to pass test… I’m guiding them on how to learn.”
Months later our teacher posted everyone’s final grade on the board, and at first, no one was surprised to see we all had A’s. But after looking closer at our papers, and book reports, and our final assignments, we didn’t see any red ink on them.
I don’t think we should lie to children and tell them they got it all right if they didn’t. That doesn’t help anyone. But I also know that if you keep telling a child they are a failure; they messed up; or they did a bad job, after a while they’ll start agreeing.

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   Professor:Okay, some of you are going to have to learn to play Devil's Advocate.
   Professor:Let's start with one of the hardest ones.
   Professor:Name one good thing that came out of Hitler's regime.
   Class:...
   Professor:*Laughs* Okay at least give me something that was bittersweet.
   Me:Umm...By enacting Action T84 and enciting a genocide wherein 70,000 people with disabilities were murdered under the guise of euthanasia, and by throwing thousands more into asylums with terrible conditions, Hitler inadvertently caused a bunch of abled doctors and scientists in countries like France, England, and even here in the US, right up in Buffalo [closest main city] to tug at their collars and slowly close down all of their own asylums and euthanasia departments because they didn't want to be compared to Hitler and in doing so, these doctors started looking for ways to actually help and cure people with disabilities instead of locking them up or killing them?
   Class:
   Professor:
   Guy Behind Me:Damn.


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highlights from my three years working at panera

   customer pooping on the floor
   pulling a stag beetle out of an old woman’s hair
   two employees started dating and had a blow-out fight in the parking lot before work at least once a week
   employee cutting her finger practically off because she jammed her arm in the bagel slicer
   catering coordinator fucking the GM in the basement
   man claiming he didn’t have a panera card because a friend stole all his rewards cards while he was in a coma for a year
   the turkish opera singer who worked in the kitchen for a summer
   disheveled man offering “voodoo therapy” in the dining room to guests as they walk in
   tiny dominican lesbian stole the girlfriends of two different male employees

Please tell us more

   the woman who pooped on the floor got banned, but not for pooping on the floor
   there is a man who comes in once a week, buys a sandwich to go, and eats it in the men’s bathroom. we know because he leaves toothpicks and the wrapper by the urinal
   a woman once demanded to know where she could buy an apartment in the area, i informed her that this was a panera and not a real estate office, and she interrupted me to specify she was looking for an $1100 two bedroom
   we hired twins named franciel and franciela
   customer complained about the size of the small mac n cheese (it comes pre-portioned) and i told her she could upgrade it to a large for a few dollars, at which point she shook her mac n cheese in my face and screamed “i could shit more mac and cheese than this!”
   the GM got so upset that he threw a sandwich at the wall and it stuck there for a few minutes because of the sauce
   people act like “do you want bread, chips, or an apple for your side?” is the goddamn SATs
   no, you can’t get “bread chips”
   no, you can’t get “apple chips”
   no, you can’t get “apple bread”
   i hate you


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borderline-sunflower

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me
hellkn1ghtDeactivated

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.
lockelamora

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee
kaylapocalypse

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”
wizzard890

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”
erincrocodile

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.
legendarymotherofshade

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.
chicanaspice

one time a drunk girl started crying because she said she loved my eyebrows so much

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tofugoddess

The whole idea that “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” is SUCH victim-blaming bullshit.
naamahdarling

Especially when you add on the fact that people who have been emotionally abused are often especially susceptible to other people’s efforts to make them feel like shit.

This line of “reasoning” is fucking toxic as hell and I encourage every single one of you to call it out when you encounter it. (If you can do so.)
thedatingfeminist

THIS! I really hate this especially because kids who grow up in abusive households are literally trained to feel inferior from before they even have a concept of self, and learn via painful experience not to defend themselves against emotional attacks.

Even as a perfectly healthy adult, it’s possible to enter into a relationship where you come up against abuse tactics you don’t recognise and/or can’t defend against, and being vulnerable to an abuser’s tactics isn’t the same as consenting to be abused.

Honestly “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” is pro-abuse propaganda that should never come out of your mouth unless you’re here to debunk it.

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Ok you know what?

I will defend furries to my fucking grave. When I was in the hole and needed money for college, not a SINGLE person from tumblr or deviantART ordered a commission. Sometimes people would ask about prices and reply, “Oh, nevermind, that’s too expensive.” I felt miserable.

In a fit of desperation, I brushed off my old Furaffinity account and revamped it. It was full of old, outdated bullshit and still had my “Taco pancakes!!! XDDD” aesthetic embedded in the info box. I had a lot of work to do.

When I was done, I started following and talking to people, I made an art shop, I started posting things and providing commission info.

Within a few weeks, I had my first customer. After a month, I had a full queue of commissions lined up to go. I have $250 in my PayPal wallet left after paying for my textbooks and part of my tuition – and I’m still getting more business!

And you know what my most common comment was? “Your art really should cost more.” These were often followed by $10-20 tips. I was fucking flabbergasted.

So yeah, go ahead and make fun of furries. Undermine the hours of work that goes into their art and fursuits. But they are more willing to pay for art than the tumblr and deviantART community COMBINED, despite all the pro-artist uwu bullshit I see every other page on this damned site.


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On a personal level, being misogynist, ableist, homophobic, etc. is not just about feeling hatred for marginalised groups. Hatred is a symptom, and not everyone has that symptom. Sometimes it’s pity. Or creepy dehumanising fascination. Or indifference. Or ignorance and a self-absorbed refusal to learn to be better.

But it’s not about your feelings at all - it’s about actions and whether your actions support an oppressive system.

That’s why you can’t say, “I’m not misogynist! I love women!” and have people go, “well, you know your feelings best!” It’s not about your feelings. It’s about what you’re doing and if it’s harmful. And you do not get to decide if you’re harming others.
Also - this is why “misandry”, “cisphobia”, “heterophobia”, “reverse racism”, etc., aren’t comparable to misogyny, transphobia and transmisogyny, homophobia, biphobia, racism, etc.

Because no matter how oppressed groups feel about those with power over them, they’re not in a position to support a system that marginalises those privileged groups - because no system like that exists. The system that exists privileges cis, white, het, abled, male, etc., identities and oppresses those who don’t conform to that ideal.

How oppressed people feel about the privileged doesn’t have any material effect on oppression.

They can loudly, virulently hate their oppressors until the sun goes down, but it won’t cause the privileged to suddenly become disenfranchised, have their autonomy violated, etc. - whereas privileged people actually do have the power to improve or worsen the plight of the oppressed. That power is granted to them by privilege.

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Thinking about compulsory heterosexuality as it applies to wlw is so interesting to me because women’s heterosexuality is built on so much more than just “you must be attracted to men” because it’s often really tightly bound up with “you must be attractive to men.” And the thing is that those two things are so closely associated that they kind of become interchangeable with one another?

It’s why women who don’t put in the work needed to meet heteronormative standards of beauty are called lesbians and it’s also why some lesbians are told they’re too pretty to be lesbians because it’s assumed that if you are attractive to men then you must seek out that attraction because you like them and vice versa.

But the need to look pretty (for men, it’s implied) is reinforced on so many other levels besides that; like men will dismiss your opinions by saying you’re probably not attractive, you learn how to do makeup from this super early age, you’re told that you wont get a job unless you show up to the interview emulating a really specific type of femininity.

And eventually this becomes so automatic that you don’t even know that you’re doing it; for a long time I would meet a guy and immediately wonder if he liked my hair or if my makeup looked too overdone or if my shirt was too tight. And because attraction and a desire to be attractive were so linked in my head, I just assumed for a long time that I was more attracted to men and attracted to a lot more of them than I am. Because if I was worried about how I looked around them that must mean I was attracted to them, right?

It’s taken me a really long time to sort through that impulse, and I still reflexively do it when I meet some guys. This isn’t because I find them attractive; it’s just that I’ve grown up in a society that’s told me over and over and over again that my worth is measured in my appeal to men.

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Calling out art thieves is not fucking harassment.
Art thieves do not deserve sympathy because they’re frustrated they got caught stealing art.
Art thieves who lie about any “permission” they got to post the art, refuse to remove the art they stole, and sling around death and suicide threats when artists tell them to remove stolen art do not deserve sympathy.
Art thieves who proceed to shit talk the artists they hurt by stealing their art in the first place do not deserve sympathy.
Art thieves are not fucking victims.

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Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”.

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.




During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional

Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.

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The whole “I’m not like other girls” movement should really be called the “I don’t want men to treat me the way they treat other women” movement because that’s what it really is. Women know that a girl who wears makeup is as respectable as a girl who wears none. A girl who’s played every Final Fantasy game is as respectable as a girl who digs Candy Crush. A woman who started her own law firm is as respectable as a single mom who works in the service industry. A girl who enjoys casual sex is as respectable as a girl who has never had her first kiss. A lesbian who has no interest in men is as respectable as a straight girl who loves her boyfriend. A girl who reads People magazine is as respectable as a girl who reads Dostoyevsky.

Women have been extensively shamed for saying “I’m not like other girls” when what they are really saying, maybe without knowing it, is “I’ve heard the way men talk about specific types of women, typically women who do things that they don’t understand or relate to, and I really, really want them to separate me from that and see me as a person who is worthy of being respected.” How much respect a woman gets from men is very rarely indicative of how much she deserves.

“I don’t want you to treat me the way you treat other girls, because you treat other girls like shit.”

I think this is relevant but does underplay just how much internalized misogyny is, well, internalized. Women don’t always know that women punished by patriarchy aren’t worth less.

Believing that they are is how we rationalize the bad things that happen to women and feel safe from them ourselves. If doing X thing makes you deserve Y misogynist attack, then distancing ourselves from girls who do X is definitely a survival mechanism.

That doesn’t mean we always are aware we’re doing that, though, and it certainly doesn’t mean our internalized misogyny isn’t actually misogyny.
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