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This is just a collection of small stories about smexy, most involving him interacting with Arc in some humorous way, a few of which were even released on his tumblr account. I figured these little stories had been building up in my notes long enough, so i might as well release the lot.




Unwanted proposal

Before I was named as a “proxy”,
(heck, i'm not even sure if he had really known much about proxies back then to begin with, and if he did, i know he hadn't really been considering it)
Smexy had made a different sort of offer to “claim me” within the boundaries of our deal.

Fall was just starting to really come into its own, the leaves in the process of changing their colors and the college campus humid and muddy from a recent rain. We were just kinda hanging around in the dorm room. I sat on the floor with my laptop, while Smexy was draped across the bed like some sort of big lazy cat, looking over my shoulder to watch the cartoon or whatever that was playing on the screen. Breaking the relative silence of the room, Smexy spoke up, asking.

Hey Arc? You wanna get married?

I sat there in stunned silence for a few moments, then turn to him slowly, wearing a look of confused disbelief

No?

He just gives a slight shrug of indifference in return, before turning his attention back to the show.
But I don’t turn my gaze away, instead holding a long awkward silence until I carefully ask

Uhhhh…. Any particular reason why you’re asking me?

It’s not like we’ve got anything else going on this weekend.

…. So you want to get married, because you’re bored?

That, and it makes it easier to keep track of interesting people I’m probably not gonna kill.

….Huh? ….. Wait, you said people, not ‘girls’ or ‘women’. Are you married to a guy?

Guys.
*he corrected*

He then went on to skim over some explanations of his previous marriage’s, like how most of them had included some sort of deal between the two of them, such as steady finances, or an escape from a family who looked to cause them harm, or even just as a sort of prequel to sex. Like they had sworn they wouldn’t do it until they were married, Smexy just went ahead and had a “traditional Vegas wedding”. He even showed me a key chain where he had kept his numerous wedding rings. I counted seven rings, but from the sound of it he had been married more than that.
He never quite made it perfectly clear, and he never argued the number I came up with, but from the sound of it he had been married approximately nine times.
Although from the way he had explained it, this had seemed like the first time he had been the one to pop the question to anyone.








A dumb activity with Smexy.

Barging into my home and wasting no time in draping himself over me like a lazy three hundred pound cat and saying with an excited grin on his face.

”Hey Arc! You wanna go rob a wishing well?”

Eyes narrowing in suspicion as I respond, I reply

“What kind of a wishing well?”

”Does it really matter? “

“Yes, because that sound an awful lot like something that could leave me trapped in a dark hole in the ground for days.”

His expression scrunching up into a pout at that, he replies

“Aww come on, it could make you into a creepypasta like the creepy chick from the ring.”

“Smexy you even admitted before that you had no idea if the monster from the ring was real or not.”

“Well fine then party pooper, we can go steal from one of those mall fountains.”

“After closing time?”

“Yeah whatever.”

And that’s the story of how I stole all the spare change from a wishing well with a supernatural serial rapist.






Brand new Bathroom

Arc:Trying to take a shower quickly became a hefty chore for me the moment smexy had weaseled his way into my life, and when I had moved out of the school dormitories and into my own apartment, if anything it only became even more of a hassle, as now not only did I have a newfound privacy from the random bystanders that used to discourage a certain teleporting jerk from showing up to bother me, I now also had a bathtub, which presented its own challenges,
such as unexpected bubble baths, and the oversized naked tentacle monster that would more often than not inhabit them.

Smexy, get out of the tub.

~How about you get in the tub?~

Well first of all you already take up the whole damn thing…

~I can always make room in the tub for a beautiful woman~ or a grumpy proxy, whichever shows up first. He replied oh so smugly.

…And second of all, NO.

But you would dare strip such a majestic creature from his natural habitat?

Your natural habitat is my apartments bathtub…

Yessss….

I throw my hands up in the air in defeat as I turn around to exit the bathroom.

Whelp, Looks like its back to sponge baths in the kitchen sink for me! Try not to waste all my shampoos and such while you’re in there.

You can always buy more~





Tell me a story smexy :3

Well alright.
There once was a little girl named Lamb. Sure she had a proper name, but the ones who cared about her always called her lamb for short after they met. Cuz you see, she had never had any relatives when she was very young. It wasn’t until she was a few years old that she got a mother, who in escaping the irrational wrath and hatred of her own family and friends, looked to make a family of her own, on her own terms.

It took a lot of work to convince them to let her adopt despite being a single mother, but it worked out in the end, and they were both very happy together.

But it wasn’t long before lamb had to learn a terrible secret, because her mother did have a husband after all.
He appeared suddenly one night in her mother’s bedroom and was surprised to find two sleeping in the bed. Now most would have been scared of such a man, but she quickly accepted him as a father of sorts, calling him like a giant tiger, but silly like a monkey, and she swore herself to secrecy just like her mother had. But her father wasn’t as careful, and decided to bring her to work one day.

No one was able to believe that such a man could have a daughter in any sense of the word. He was too terrifying, too evil for such a thing, one of many way’s they would underestimate him.

But he was pretty foolish as well.

Lamb didn’t see her new “father” for two months, up until she was taken from her mother by some desperate people looking for anything they could use against her father.

So he killed them all so lamb and her mother wouldn’t have to worry about them ever again.
The end.  






the subway

He stood silently at the front of the crowd that filled the underground subway terminal, no one so much as looking twice at the shady, imposing man that stood about a head taller than the people that surrounded him as he glanced down the tunnel occasionally, waiting for the tram to appear. Far as they knew, he wasn’t even there.

Now despite him being perfectly capable of teleporting, which made things such as public transportation functionally useless to a creature like him, he really didn’t have any particular destination in mind, so on a whim, he decided to just follow the rush hour crowd, which had eventually taken him here, to the subway, where he waited, having idyll thoughts of observing the craziness that so often took place in the packed subway cars, and perhaps picking up someone interesting in the process (and by pick up he of course means kidnap).
Soon he sees a light steadily approaching in the tunnel, along with the growing sounds of the approaching train, so he steps back to behind the yellow line with the other people.

To his left he sees a young businessman, looking worn out after a long day in the office, and texting on his phone to someone or another, Smexy didn’t really bother in trying to find out who.

Without thinking Smexy places a hand on the man’s back and gives him a forceful shove, sending him flying onto the tracks just as the subway speeds past, making a pretty audible (at least to Smexy) wet smack of body against metal train.

Almost the whole crowd recoils at the sight, with even a few screams being heard, while Smexy just stands there with a wide grin on his face, chuckling to himself in amusement at his sudden act pf pointless murder.

Soon the train comes to a stop and a team get’s called in to clean up the grizzly remains, and since he knew that the subway would have to be shut down for a few hours as a result, he shrugs off that he guesses he won’t be riding the subway today after all, and makes his way up and out of the station, before wandering off elsewhere on his day of aimless roaming.
Nothing big, but you guys might find a few interesting ones in there
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfunsizedotaku:
funsizedOtaku Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Student General Artist
XD the first three are fucking hilarious and kind of cute and the fourth one is sweet
Reply
:iconatomicbetty12:
atomicbetty12 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi, can you please write more short stories like these? They are so funny :D
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Student General Artist
maybe some day when im not buried beneath a mountain of work.
Reply
:iconatomicbetty12:
atomicbetty12 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :D
Reply
:icondvartgal13:
DvArtGal13 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014
awesome
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you :3
Reply
:iconslenderisbehindyou:
SlenderIsBehindyou Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014
'I think I should teach him some manners.'
Reply
:icon13wolfy13:
13Wolfy13 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
Going to make a nice tree odimant out of him are you?
Reply
:iconslenderisbehindyou:
SlenderIsBehindyou Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
'No. I would make him watch a old theater play.'
Reply
:icon13wolfy13:
13Wolfy13 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
Well, you know him better than I do so I'll let you be the judge there.
Reply
:iconslenderisbehindyou:
SlenderIsBehindyou Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
'Or I could give sugar to one of annoying proxies and set them on him.'
Reply
:icon13wolfy13:
13Wolfy13 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
Now that would be fun to watch.
Reply
:iconslenderisbehindyou:
SlenderIsBehindyou Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
'I guess so.'
Reply
:icon13wolfy13:
13Wolfy13 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014
but if you're going to do that I recoment caffene. Better effects. especialy if they have a low tollerance to the stuff. Just be prepared for a backlash because you know you have to deal with that as well.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconm00nlight101:
m00nlight101 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And here I thought that Smexy's habitat was the bed.
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Student General Artist
eh, I would argue that he would consider his natural habitat to be just about anywhere he wanted.
Reply
:iconm00nlight101:
m00nlight101 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:icontoucheplz:
Reply
:iconanimeschibia:
AnimesChibia Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
The subway actually surprised me a little. ._.
Reply
:icondianatheproxy:
DianaTheProxy Featured By Owner May 31, 2014   Artist
Omg I loved the bathtub one it made my day xD
Reply
:iconelizabell42:
Elizabell42 Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
XD
Reply
:iconnemesisbruticusprime:
NemesisBruticusPrime Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
For the bathtub part...

We finally understand why he has never visited us... We dont have his natural habitat at all... We just have stupid shower...
DANG IT...

Kinda, disappointing... But not exactly sure if we should be happy about it or not... But that part atleast was totally hilarious~
Reply
:iconnevershalliroam:
nevershalliroam Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love the last one because it actually goes into just how dark he can be. Usually we try to see him in a funny or nice light, but this shows that even though he's goofy and such, he's still a cruel monster who sees murder as "fun."
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
that's one of the most unnerving things about him. he can convince you that that he's an okay guy very easily, but he really isn't and can (and often will) turn on you when you least expect it and for no discernible reason.
Reply
:iconawsomequa:
AwsomeQua Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Smexy was in the tub....poor Arc, do you have ANYTHING that he dosn't invade?!? XD
Reply
:icongloomygoomi:
GloomyGoomi Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Her high-heels?
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student General Artist
I actually don't have any high heels.
Reply
:icongloomygoomi:
GloomyGoomi Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student Digital Artist
DANG IT X3
Reply
:iconawsomequa:
AwsomeQua Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
He's probably crazy enough to find some use for them. XD
Reply
:icongloomygoomi:
GloomyGoomi Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Student Digital Artist
...I think i may draw that...
Reply
:iconawsomequa:
AwsomeQua Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool, can't wait to see it. ^^
Reply
:iconshocktheloser:
ShockTheLoser Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The bathtub one is hilarious.
Reply
:iconxionshiyin:
xionshiyin Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
My fave one is the last one but there all good...
-r emembers she has to ride metro tomorrow-
Wonder what I'd be like if he was on my train o^o
Reply
:iconblackismycolor:
Blackismycolor Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
lol, of course his natural habitat is the bathroom.
Reply
:iconundertakerofheaven:
undertakerofheaven Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Student General Artist
XD  smexys just chillin in the tub!
Reply
:iconrebelmyth:
RebelMyth Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
"And that’s the story of how I stole all the spare change from a wishing well with a supernatural serial rapist."
That sentence was wild from start to finish. 
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Student General Artist
You're tellin me :3
Reply
:icondragon209816:
Dragon209816 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
I think Smexy needs another hobby, like sewing. 
Reply
:icon13ylp:
13YLP Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Agree... =__=U
Reply
:iconajones123:
Ajones123 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
You need to make more of these
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Student General Artist
well they happen every so often, so maybe you'll see more in the future?
Reply
:iconsexual-offendergirl:
Sexual-Offendergirl Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
:P
Reply
:iconblackgaara3:
Blackgaara3 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
gay marriage?
Reply
:iconarcanineryu:
arcanineryu Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Student General Artist
yup.
Reply
:iconblackgaara3:
Blackgaara3 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014
O3O -pokes Smexy-
Reply
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