Tumblr blog responses condensed-part 2

Anonymous asked: soo... anything in bold is Smexy and anything in just regular text is arc talking, right? sorry, I got confused. trying to read through some of these...
Basically yeah.
Arc: I’ll normally have my name in front of me too.
((unless I’m being ooc, which would go in parenthesis))
*or describing stuff, which goes in these things*



Anonymous asked: Just asking, I want to create a Smexy X boy fanfiction but I want to make sure its OK with you two. There are no boy love even though he says he likes both genders. It OK?
Arc: he could always use more gay fanfiction. so yeah, it’s fine with me.



Anonymous asked: why would you want to fuck me if you don't even like me?
♥~I like ripping people apart as I fuck them~♥




Anonymous asked: You and Slendy are very different when you hunt your victims. While Slender is more active you're very settled. Surely you have deliberately chased a poor, isolated soul in excitement with that horrid form you have... *Voice turns nervous* Please tell me you haven't?
Sure! All the time!
I mean you have any idea how fun it is to chase some screaming person through the twists and turns of the back alleys and abandoned buildings while you’re a terrifying snarling beast the size of a rhinoceros? It’s a hoot



Anonymous asked: Arc: does smexy ever punish u?
Arc: mostly when i do something he doesn’t like, he just thinks of me as an adorable little scamp and cuddles me…..so yeah, it’s some pretty nasty stuff, i hate it.



Anonymous asked: Have you ever wanted one of them 'normal' days? A day without that 'itch' you live with everyday? Surely all this lust you cannot satisfy has tipped you over the edge at times. You might grin and say your dark deeds are great, but in reality you are in a maddening loop hole till end of time... do you not crave for your lust to end sometimes?
If I hop myself up on enough drugs, I can get one or two of those days, and if I get a good enough reason, then I’ll get everything together and go through with it.
But as for the other stuff? You know what? It really doesn’t bother me.
I’m not the kind of guy to regret things, or think so far ahead that I have to worry about what might happen in the future, or how I might suffer later because of whatever hole I’ve dug myself into now and end up having to spend and eternity in regret.
Sure, you could try and talk a big talk about eternity to me, but you know what? I still don’t have any sort of guarantee I’ll even come close to making it that long, and even if I do manage to outlive my fun, then I’ll fucking deal with it when it happens. Till then all I really know for sure is that I’m still alive today, I should’ve been dead years ago, and I feel like going and having some fun.




beautifullyicnighmare13 asked: Hi the name Nightmare. How did Slenderman deal with you when you guys were kids?
I wasn’t a slender when I was a kid. I used to be human. I got turned into a slender later on.




doodleempress66 asked: May I touch you? You look so cool.
Should I take off my coat first?



Anonymous asked: what is your favorite animal?
People.



Anonymous asked: Would you say you are like a Trap Door Spider at times? Waiting for prey to come to you and before pouncing them?
That’s a pretty good comparison at times yeah.



Anonymous asked: Why do you wear that silly hat? LOL
*he takes it off and rolls it down one arm before putting it back on his head with an elegant flourish of the wrist while saying*
Most chicks seem to dig it. Side’s, it goes well with the outfit.




Anonymous asked: Do you ever go ONE WEEK without sex?
Not by choice.




Anonymous asked: So you ARE a bad father ?
You betcha!


Anonymous asked: if you're such a bad father, why would you adopt so many children? o.O
Because I’m also a terrible husband~




Anonymous asked: Hello, I was curious lately, as with my friends, that we started guessing numbers of girls who may ask you to take them without a even giving them a rose. So my question is, has any girl asked you to take them without you giving them a rose?
Sure, lots of times.
But that really shouldn’t come as any surprise; there are already plenty of people out there obsessed with getting it on with anthropomorphized intelligent life, be it vampires or furries or whatever. Hell I’d be willing to bet a fortune that if we ever found any intelligent alien life, there’d be a pretty large group of people who’s first thought would be “Could we have sex with them?”  
So to meet some hot guy who not only isn’t human, but is also totally cool with getting it on right fucking now? Of course there’d be people who’d leap at the opportunity.




Anonymous asked: Would you respect a lesbian, even if she took the rose?
If by “respect” you mean not have sex with her then no.
But I’ll have you know, I’m well versed in a whole lot of different variety’s of sex, and that includes the girl on girl stuff, and between that and the mimicry stuff I can do that I usually don’t have too much of a reason to talk about on here, it can get pretty hard to tell the difference.
So if I’m feeling generous, I’ll cater to their preferences. Might not be quite what they’re after a lot of the time, but hey, least they’ll probably be walking away with a fuck-ton of kinky stuff they could do with their girlfriends~




tell-me-your-story-in-ask asked: I have a question~ *raises hand softly to get your attention* it may sound a bit forward but I cant help but wonder... *tilts head softly* can your kind procreate with humans and other humanoid creatures? or only other of your kind? or are you created by other completely different means? *blushes and frowns* sorry i cant help but wonder...
Cant do it with humans, but there’s no guarantee it wouldn’t work with other, more supernatural species. Usually works with other slenders though, but not all of them.



Anonymous asked: Hey Arc how many times has smexy tried giving you a rose. has he put them in ramdom places and waited behind a corner to see if you pick it up? how many different ways has he tried?
Arc: not as much as you’d think actually. We sorted out pretty early on that due to the terms of our agreement, I’m exempt from the rose contract, so it was pretty useless for him to try offering me any.
Although on the flip-side of that, for awhile, he tried to convince me to give them away to others. it was pretty disturbing actually, like there was this one time, i was having problems with a certain instructor of mine who was really pissing me off by acting like a total jerk, and when I opened my bag to put away my notes and such, i found a rose there with a poorly written note attached saying.
"♥ Come on, let me deal with it, you know you want to ♥"
but all in all it was a pretty short lasting attempt of his, so I didn’t have to put up with that sort of stuff for long at least.
still gotta deal with the rose petals he sheds all over the place though.




Anonymous asked: What can you tell about yourself? Like your personality or something? Not that what is mentioned in the description
Well I’m not so big on metaphorically spilling my guts to people for starters.



slender-pikachu-k asked: What's a boner
Arc: You are literally on an advanced technological network that is about 70% porn.
Just fucking Google it.



xmidzx asked: Hello, do you have a favorite type of woman?
Yes, I prefer the ones that are alive, or at least mostly alive, cus I mean if you got some sweet undead thing going on that’s fine too.
Yep, I think I’ll always prefer a reasonably animate woman over a fully fledged dead one.
Least for starters, I mean I could always just kill them later. That’s always fun.





hatorilikestea asked: Do you wear clothes?
Sure!
I got my coat, and my hat, and my tie, and alllllllll  my closets full of lingerie~




Hatorilikestea asked: They make lingerie for guys? I didn’t know that… You’re a guy, right?
Course they do! Although even if they didn’t, what’s to stop me from using it anyway~




Anonymous asked: What if your victim prefers another kind of flower, than a rose?
You want some other flower, go buy it yourself, Ive got roses, that’s it.
Dont like it? I don’t much care, long as you fucking take one.



Anonymous asked: How do you put up with your other brothers? (Slenderman, Splendorman, Trenderman, etc.)
Arc: better question would be how they manage to put up with this pervert.




Anonymous asked: whats the real story behind why you are who you are?
But If I tell you that, it would spoil the mystery~




slenderwolf666 asked: Who you think has the longer tounge you or me? hehe
You wanna whip them out and compare lengths ;3




lolly-creepypasta said: I would like to see Arc without the mask, I think it’s a very pretty girl :3
Arc: don’t get your hopes up.



Anonymous asked: How long can you last in bed?
A couple weeks, tops.




Anonymous asked: I found a picture in the back of my English class, and it looked suspiciously like you, I kid you not. Anything you'd like to say on this matter?
Either you got a fan in the class, or you’re mistaking me for all the other shady lookin trench coat wearing dudes in fedoras.



Anonymous asked: Hey Smexy how was your Easter with Arc and I heard you being eating a lot of chocolate to yourself not sharing with Arc is that right?
True, but she doesn’t like chocolate anyway, so it all works out.




robsome asked: I will not only devour your flesh, but alas your very soul.
If I even have one
Arc: smexy, if they happen to be talking about me, would you mind defending my honor and roughing them up a bit?
Sure sweetiepie :3
Arc: and I could do without the name calling if you don’t mind <_<
Oh you’re no fun.



Anonymous asked: I feel like it's the most hysterically hilarious thing that you've got a Tumblr blog and you don't post jack squat of porn. Like wow. Tumblr has so so SO much porn and well.. You can't and didn't reblog any of it. But hey, no big deal since you can experience the real thing anyway.
Yeah, it is a pretty hilarious irony. To have a blog about me, pretty much the most blatantly sexual guy ever, have less actual smut than most My Little Pony blogs. Although Arc tries to justify it with stuff like “Oh it’ll help out a bunch with newcomers to have a prominent safe for work space for them to get to know you in” and junk like that.
But it seems to be working pretty good so far, so guess I can’t argue with her methods too much. Just enough to piss her off :3



Anonymous asked: Just in case you ever meet me, I like white roses.
Are you talking about more of an eggshell white, or something closer to an ivory?




Anonymous asked: Do u wanna ever find true love?
…..
I don’t think I’d want to give up what finding true love would take away from my life.




Anonymous asked: Hi! First, I just wanted to say that I find Offender quite amusing...I mean, his responses just crack me up, although Arc you probably feel very differently. My question is what would you two do if you switched bodies for 24 hours? Sorry for the long question. Thanks! <3
Arc: probably chain him to the wall so he doesn’t go fucking everything he sees in my body.
And I guess that means I’d have to hang around chained to a wall for 24 hours.




Anonymous asked: wait, so if you distort technology, then how do you have a tumblr? how do you watch porn/adventure time?
I live in cities. You learn how to deal with technology pretty quick when you’ve got security cameras on every street corner. Although I still use Arc to do the tumblr stuff so I won’t mess up her computer. It’s how she keeps me from having porn and smut on here 24/7, she’s the one who writes it all down.
Also I pretty much just steal a new phone when the old one breaks.





Anonymous asked: Do you smell good?
Like a basket of roses baby~



Anonymous asked: where do you get money or in genreal; how do you buy stuff?
I just teleport into banks and take what I want.




Anonymous asked: can you help me, my pussy has gone missing
Are you saying we have to go…
Hunting for the pussy?




Anonymous asked: So uh.. Living kinda forever and doingnothing but sex.. Don't you ever find it getting dull or boring? I mean, haven't you tried everything already?
Eh, ive been doing pretty good so far.




thekillernextdoor asked: No thanks! I'll be right back man! *Runs off*
*he pulls out a smart phone and starts playing games on it to pass the time while he waits for you to return*




prism-mod asked: Hey Smexy, let's go to the hospice tonight. I've got a few cans of WD-40. We'll give "slippers" a new meaning.
Now here’s a girl who knows how to have fun!
I’m in!




Anonymous asked: Offender my cranky friend doesn't even have a creepypasta awareness ability like I do, she hasn't even met a creepypasta in general so she's got no idea you exist. So now will you do her? Seeing that she won't see it coming. And would you at least heal some of the possible injuries she'd get in the process, I don't want her haunting my ass.
You know, that really isn’t the point here.
The problem is YOU would see me coming a mile away.
So you know what that means?
It means I’m probably gonna have to take you as well. In fact, you’d probably end up being my main focus with this thing, because at least with your clueless friend, she wouldn’t know what the fuck was going on if you disappeared for a few days.
But then again, we do kinda have a deal going on here, so why don’t we make it official?
So for your friend? I’ll do what you asked of me; take it slow and easy, lift her spirits a bit, and let her go afterwards no worse for wear.
But in return, you gotta take a rose as well, and same as anybody else, I get to do whatever the fuck I want to you when you take it.
Could mean you get off easy, could mean you’re never seen or heard from again. But in all honesty? At the moment I’m leaning more towards…. Holding on to you, least for a few days.

So, still interested in my… services?




Anonymous asked: Wanna take a nap with me?
Kay.




Anonymous asked: How many times have people tried making excuses on why you can't get them after they have accepted a rose from you?
Plenty.




Anonymous asked: How many times have you been hit by a frying pan?
More times than I can remember, which might have had something to do with getting hit so many times, but seeing as I don’t seem to ever get any lasting brain damage from that sort of thing I wouldn’t bet on it.




tentacle-nightmare asked: ((Hey, I'm fairly new to Tumblr, but am experienced with rp'ing. I was wondering if I could have permission to rp as your character? Seemingly as he belongs to you, I thought I would ask first. I have a credits page (I think) so in this case, crediting the creator. Hopefully you'll reply back as you are probably busy with questions. Thanks!))

Arc: cool! I’m diggin the rose petal effect you got going on. you go right ahead and role play. just remember the golden rule.
Never use him for slut shaming or any other absurd put downs for sexually promiscuous people. He is pretty much the single biggest whore on the planet. to use him in such a fashion is the worst kind of hypocritical.
also if your comfortable with it, consider portraying him as an omnisexual. that means men, women, animals, plants, inanimate objects, the undead, it’s all on the table.
but as I said, if you’re not comfortable with that or your intended incarnation of the guy isn’t quite that loose,(hell, you could have your version be a flaming homosexual, or a woman trapped in a mans body who also happens to be lesbian, I don’t really care, it’s your blog) then it’s alright, so long as you don’t break that first rule.
and then the second rule. Rape is bad. Very bad. it will never be a good thing. He is a villain for even attempting it once, let alone as many as he has now, and that should be kept in mind when playing the character, especially when reacting to those you will encounter who will try to cushion the blow of how bad rape is by mistaking it for plain old sex.
You shouldn’t ever be the one making that mistake, know the difference and make it clear between those who took the rose willingly and eagerly, those who didn’t, and those who change their minds after realizing how much of a monster he is.
If you ever have to write rape, and from the looks of the blog you will, then you try your best to write horror, not smut, even though in the end it will probably turn out like smut anyway, it’s your responsibility to still try and write it for horror despite that.
least until you get sick of it, I mean I understand that you’re doing it for fun and I will respect that, and not berate you for falling short of this rule should that happen, which is why this one is far more optional than rule number one. so don’t feel too pressured by it.
but it is something to keep in mind, and an important part of the responsible use of this character as it is probably the most respectful thing you can do for those who have suffered at the hands of rapists, while still role playing as a horny tentacle monster.
Simply admitting that rape is more often then not horrific and traumatizing can go a long way, as you are expected to be in competition with those who fully intend to misuse and belittle it within their artwork and literature.
now with that out of the way, you’re ready to go!
you ever have any questions or want any recommendations, feel free to drop me an ask or send me a note, and i’ll help you out however i can.




thekillernextdoor asked: I've been pretty good. Killing and all. I just came by because my master told me you have something of his and he wants it back. Mind giving it to me so I can give it to my master?
Depends, he say what I took?



thekillernextdoor asked: No. He just said you took something that was his and wants it back. I tried asking him but all he did was blush madly and through me out of his room. He said you know what I've stolen and told me to get it back from you.
….He knows I’m an unreliable, alcoholic, drug abusing jackass right?




thekillernextdoor asked: ....I think he knows...but anyway still, you should just give it back already. Apparently he wants it really badly that he threaten to break my leg if I didn't come back with it.
Really? Because it seems to me the whole “being drunk/high all the time” flew right over his head.
How about you go ask him what the fuck he’s talkin about, let him break your leg, then hobble back over here and tell me what he want’s, let me heal your leg for you, then you can bring him back whatever it was.
Side’s, it’s not like he really has to be so secretive with you about it considering your be carrying the damn thing back to him anyway. Although if it’s some kind of sex toy like a dildo or something? Tell him to be real specific about it, cus Ive got about a million of the things, and short of me licking them all to see which one tastes like him, I really got no way of knowing which one is his.




priest-of-hell said: *Just grins like a dumbass.*
*Grins back knowingly in return and does a suggestive eyebrow waggle, (sans actual eyebrows)*




Anonymous asked: Hey Sexual Offenderman I got a friend (not me) who's got a crush on you. Will you fuck her as a gift from me, please she's been cracky for about 3-4 weeks now and she really needs it.
Nah, I generally wont show for someone who’s expecting me like that.




ina-suldusk asked: If you target me, can you at least let me keep my memory of everything. I promise I won't tell anyone. ( not unless I want to go to an insane asylum)
Probably not.




myrelisfrancoeur asked: *Sits on the floor tied up with handcuffs and a gag in mouth*
*he looks around, before reaching into his coat and pulling out a rose, holding it in front of your face*
Just headbutt this and we can get started~




ask-yuki-gamine asked: How hard would you rape me if you got the chance~?
…..Do you want your pelvis broken? Cus I can go that far if you’d like~




creepypasta-oddball asked: I give a shy demeanor as I tentatively approach "E-excuse me, Mr. Sexual O-Offenderman, I- I was curious as to what colored roses are your personal f-favorite to, uh, o-offer", I ask timidly.
*he bends down to look you straight in the eye, his stare surprisingly intense for having no eyes*
I can make roses with little pictures of dongs on every single petal.




Anonymous asked: Mind telling us something we don't know? (Arc or Smexy or maybe both)
I’ve currently got a live bird trapped under my fedora.



Anonymous asked: Do you fuck guys too? Or only girls?
We’ve been over this….




Anonymous asked: Do you rape girls
Now this is even weirder than the “don’t fuck guys” thing, what, do you people think I exclusively fuck marine mammals or something? Because that’s just silly. I fuck a hell of a lot more than just dolphins and whales.




holysciencefiction asked: Would you rather be a zombie or a cyborg?
Cant I just be me? A supernatural rapist of incredible power and resiliency?
Really, both of those just sound like a downgrade to me.



Anonymous asked: Okay, this is like the zombie and cyborg question. But, IF you had to choose one of them, which would you fuck, the zombie or the cyborg?
Ehhh….. cyborg. I mean it’s not like I don’t have plenty of old rotting corpses to fuck already.




Anonymous asked: What if there was a chick that had a legit spilt personality (Evil side to her and everything)- that is like a cat-person with claws and everything. Who's super kinky and flirty. But then again she's super silly and lazy who loves to sleep in all day. Whose a bit of a geek who plays video games and reads comics. Technically like you and Arc mixed together... I guess... What would you think/do?
Fuck them.
Seriously, have you even been following along at all? I mean it’s right there in my goddamn name for pete’s sake.




Anonymous asked: What is your IQ?
I don’t think I’m ever sober long enough to figure that out.
But then again I don’t think I’d have the attention span to take the test sober…..





Anonymous asked: Other than porn is there anything else you watch? Cartoons maybe?
Yes.





Anonymous asked: what is your favorite drink to get drunk off of?
Milkshakes with alcohol mixed in. Also the ice cream used to make it is alcoholic. And the milk is basically eggnog. And the milkshake also comes with a tub of ice cream and a few dozen shots of absinthe. And maybe some kind of rumcake.

…..and now I want pie.




Anonymous asked: What would you do if you got a big box that had a girl with real cat ears and a tail wearing next to nothing?
I’m tempted to say imprison her in one of my rape dungeons….. But I’d have to get her to take a rose first, and there’s no telling how long that might take.
So maybe go on a date or something, then rape dungeon.




Anonymous asked: how many girls do you bang a day?
Depends on the day.




Anonymous asked: I can imagine you can get sex whenever you want. With whoever you want. Where you want.. Do you ever watch porn and have a wank?
Not as often as you’d think, specially since I got Arc as a proxy and she got me watching all these damn cartoons.
I think the latest one she got me on was called Steven Universe. Not really as intense as Adventure Time, but it’s still got some crazy moments.




askbelladrownedcreepypasta asked: Hey, Offender. What's the strangest type of sex, you ever had? .3.''
That’s like asking when was the bluest sky Ive ever seen.
The fuck do I know babes? Ive seen a lot of fucking blue skys in my life, hell, sometimes it’s nothing but blue sky’s for a week straight. So how the fuck do you expect me to be able to answer a question like that? Lie? Make you a 50+ list of all the crazy kinks Ive catered to? I don’t have that kind of time!




Anonymous asked: I'm uh... Kinda new to your blog, so.. Please be gentle to me, 'kay? Was just wondering, if you've ever done it with a male, without being high or drunk and actually still enjoyed it? Or are you always under the influence of something, when having... Eh... Intercourse..?
Why is everyone always so shocked at the fact that I fuck dudes frequently?




Anonymous asked: Hey, If I dropped a certain book on Smexy's head, do you think he would die?
Nah.



Anonymous asked: You don't even know what the book is yet.
I’ve survived being crushed under a few tons of rubble in a cave in before?




Anonymous asked: Hello, Smexy! I heard that you love to read (in addition to rape, of course) and that you have a lot of books, almost a little own library. And I also heard that you have books about biology. Maybe you are interested in something else like that? Genetics, medicine, philosophy.. Maybe even the history of the ancient world. You have a very interesting way of thinking, I'm sure that in your library many interesting books too. Well, besides all the Kama Sutra and other sex literature.
It helps with the whole “wooing everyone possible” thing I got going on. I mean I’ll admit that Ive got some pretty eclectic tastes to begin with babe, but in all honesty?
Lot of that extra stuff just kinda seeps in when I get to know someone who’s into it, so either I get to sit there and listen while they talk about whatever crazy thing they’re into, or I gotta go out and do some legwork to find out about it myself, cuz let me tell ya, it’ll rake me up a hell of a lot of points on the whole attractiveness scale if I even barely know what I’m talkin about.

Like this one time I was hanging out with this biologist lady? She convinced me to stick around, and one thing lead to another, and I was getting autopsied almost every other night!
And since it wasn’t like the sedatives would really work, what with the whole torso being repeatedly cut open thanks to it healing shut every half hour or so thing, least until she jury-rigged a bunch of equipment together to hold the wounds open while she poked around, I had a lot of time for asking questions like “What the fuck even is a pancreas? And why is it such a big deal that I don’t seem to have one?”
Yeah… good times. Shame she never made it though, cus she really helped me get over my fear of being disemboweled, and how many people in your life can your really thank for something like that? Plus we only got to have sex like, twice!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone who’ll talk about cutting open my dick to see if it’s anatomically similar to a human’s in the middle of sex?! Well do you!!!!



Anonymous asked: Hey, Smexy, have you ever gotten a gift from a fan?
I got tons!




Anonymous asked: have you ever watched porn
All the time.



Anonymous asked: Hey Arc, in math we were learning about arcs and I kept thinking of you.
Arc: lol :3





laughing-brooke asked: how many girls you been having sex with cause i know you did not do me yet?
Come on, babe, cut me some slack. There are literally billions of people in the world. Even if I never took a break and never went back to the same person twice I could only get to like…. uhhh…

Arc: here, i got a calculator.*punches in a few numbers*
looks like if you were to have a pretty sizable orgy every other day, your max number of victims would be around 4000 people a year. and that’s rounding up.
Yeah, and you know how hard it is to put an orgy together in just one day? That’s just not practical.
Arc: if you did one every three days you’d get about 2500.
Well what if I took two days off then had two orgies one after the other?
Arc: you’d get about 5000. and seriously, did you really just ask me that? you just had to times the previous number by two.
Sounds more official when I get you to do it.
Arc: fine. well, I guess as a rough estimate you do an average of around 2000 people a year.

Ehhh, I’m not so sure that’s accurate, sounds a bit low.
Arc: the average person only does it somewhere between 20-110 times per year, so that’s still pretty damn high?
Still, don’t really like putting a number too it.





therealbellaluna asked: Bella: do you even have a brain up in that head of yours? *prods his head with her nail* I have a feeling you either don't or it's more full of crap than a lonely nerds computer is filled with hentai.
Probably, not. I mean I’ve gotten the back of my skull blown out by a shotgun before. Sure it hurt and all, but didn’t seem to change anything. I even poked at it for awhile. Didn’t do a thing.
So far as I know all I’ve got in my head is just useless spongy black goo, and I honestly don’t even have a brain at all!
Or maybe my entire body is a brain. Some highly advanced super-organ able to hold onto all my thoughts and stunning personality no matter how much of me is lost or destroyed. Maybe I have the brainpower of an entire human mind held within every tiny drop of my being, and I have to constantly self-medicate with endless amounts of brain destroying chemicals to avoid achieving an unbearable and almost godlike omniscience far beyond the comprehension of a normal human mind.  That’s something to think about.




therealbellaluna asked: Bella: I'd rather not, that would lead me to think about you more than I already have and even that is far too much. Also, I have been going through your 'blog' or whatever it's called here and I have to say, your fans are kinda imbecilic. I mean, they, at one point in time or another, have asked what about 300 people before them have already questioned and had answered.
Hey, they’re only human. You cant expect TOO much of them.
And besides, they’re so adorable! I mean look at them! How could you stay mad at all these cuties!
Sexy, tasty, cuties doing hilarious things all day long.
Way better than dealing with a bunch of stuck up thousand year old prudes who have evolved past the idea of “fun.”
Arc: oh my god smexy, your like one of those rebellious teenage girls who’s life goal is to own a bathtub full of kittens. only a psychopath. and a dude. who’s also a drug abusing tentacle rapist.
~I’m livin the dream baby~




lady--anna asked: Goes both to you Arc, and Smexy... I'M GIVING YOU A BIG BIG HUG
Arc: But I dun wanna hug! D:
Fine, I’ll just take your hug as well!



the-rubester asked: Hey, Smexy. This would sound real stupid, but... would you staple gun a pair of bunny ears at the head of your penis? So that both of your heads wear bunny ears?
Definitely wouldn’t be the weirdest kink Ive ever catered to~






imagineyouricon: Imagine your icon seeing you are sad and pushing up the corners of your mouth with their fingers to make you smile

Arc: you know, obnoxious shit like this is why I wear a mask




rage-in-a-cage asked: Hey umm. Arc do you ever feel like you have no point in life?
Arc: no. i just sometimes feel like I’ll never be able to live up to my goals.



Anonymous asked: Every time one of my friends diss or draw a bad pic of CP I freak out and I draw a lot of the symbols. I also want to be a CP for Halloween. I am obsessed. What kind of proxie or whatever's that make me?
It makes you a Fanatic.



Anonymous asked: I'm almost positive that you've been asked this many times before but for the sake of our own amusement and to clarify something for myself, is it a turn off in any way when your sexual advances are willfully accepted? I mean... You are a rapists after all, darling. It's in your name. Then again, you know far better than I, that 'sexual' can mean a whole lot of things~
Sometimes, but it depends on my mood.




awesomemarybethisbest-deactivat asked: arc if you had a choice would you be the proxy of trendor man or offenderman ?
Arc: well chances are my being a proxy to offenderman has guaranteed me a short, confusing, stressful, and perpetually ticked off life ending in an early and exceptionally uncomfortable death,  so in comparison I’d say Trenderman probably sounds like a much better deal, even if I don’t have any talent with fashion.



Anonymous asked: How many people have you raped?
What, you think I actually bother to keep count?





lovemelanitheneko asked: Are you ever in Canada?
Mmmmmhmmm~




Anonymous asked: Stay out of the dog park, the dog park is forbidden. to not enter the dog park, to not speak of the dog park, do not look at the dog park, do not THINK about the dog park. this has been a public reminder from the NightVale city council. thank you.
Wait, does it still count if you think about Other dog parks?




Anonymous asked: Why do you wear a hat? I've noticed that the only brother that doesn't wear a hat is Slender. Was there a memo that he didn't get about hats? Just curious.
He doesn’t have to deal with people on a personal basis much, he’s pretty much just around to be scary, and truth is we’re not quite as… Intimidating, with a hat on.




shadowfire123 asked: Hey Arc, has Smexy ever stolen your clothes and replaced them with something more scandalous?
Arc: close, mostly it involved him somehow clawing up or chewing holes in my clothes, which he then replaced with something inappropriate.
After I burned them I sat him down and we had a long talk about my own personal tastes in clothing, the whole proxys requiring more practical clothing and how i cant afford to be so conspicuous, and the whole him being a huge douchbag in every way.
He eventually got tired of being told off about it and we settled a deal that he cant buy me anything without my permission. Which coincidentally helped out a bunch with the whole him trying to pawn off a bunch of ridiculous fancy pigeons on me as “pets” despite knowing i cant have any pets in the apartment besides fish, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he tried getting me some really ridiculous fish.




hemmorrhagingrainbows asked: Would you ever consider having sex with Slenderman? Or have you in the past?
I keep trying, but at about the time he starts ripping my mind apart and playing kidney punch with my emotions….
It kinda turns me off to the idea.




slender-pikachu-k asked: What is your life like miss Arc?
Arc: stressful and lonely




Anonymous asked: so did Splendor (it was Splendy, right, or did I misread something) take pity on you and turn you into a slender, or do you know his motives?
The guy takes pity on everybody.
I swear, you could have lived your entire life with the worst thing that ever happened to you being skinning your fucking knee, and he’d still take pity on your suffering, and probably throw glitter on you or something.




Anonymous asked: How many times a day do you throw stuff at Smexy?
Arc: not as much as you’d think, mostly because he’ll either pelt it back at me, catch it with his slobbery mouth, or just not react at all.



Anonymous asked: How did you meet arc
Arc: he was sleazing around my college campus, thought I looked like an easy target nobody would notice went missing, and went after me.




the-rubester asked: Hey Smexy~ ever had undressing mishaps at your first days you're reborn? As of accidentally choked yourself with your own tie or had a devil of a time undoing your robe for some reason?
I could still tie my fucking shoes and all that shit.
*he replied grumpily*
Everything else on the other hand……
*he says reminiscing on all the beds and chairs he’s broken, the upholstery he’s accidentally ripped apart with his claws, the doors he’s broken slamming them or even through hitting his head on the top of the doorway, the delicate things he’s accidentally knocked over with his wayward tentacles, the hole’s he’s punched through walls on accident, the floors he’s fallen through from shifting his mass and weight too drastically or just walking around somewhere stupid, the time’s he’s done everything from accidentally breaking bones to accidentally reducing someone or thing to a bloody, unidentifiable pulp.*



thelightshiningthroughyoursoul asked: Lucifer watched the tall man, he had a rose in his hand and the smell was inviting, Lucifer took a drag of his cigarette and grinned. "Hello Offender." He said to the tall man within the shadows under the trees.
*  unsteady on his feet and having to lean against a tree to avid falling over,  the smell of the rose was quickly overpowered when the being’s lips broke open into a  large smile, and the powerful stink of alcohol leaked out on his breath. it’s clear that this guy was drunk as a skunk*
H̡͠e̷͜y̛͢͞.̧͏́.͞.͟͟͠.҉̨..̴̵̢.͡.̡́́.̸ ͘͢y̷o̸̡̡ù̧u͜u͡u҉u͡u̵̢u̷̢̕…..



Anonymous asked: There's a narwhal behind you O.o

W͢ho̴a, A͜m̀ ̨I͝ ͘st̸il͟l t͠r͜ipp͡in͞g ̶bal̕l͡s̵?̨??



Anonymous asked: I went missing for two days and can't remember what happened... do you have anything to do with that Smexy?
O͟h f́uc͝k̨ I A͡m͘ w̸ay ̵ţoo ҉hưnģ ̵ov͞er̡ t͘o t͏r̷y an͝d̶ ͞remȩm͟ber ͞án͢y ̛o̵f̵ ̴tha͝t̷ ͡sh͟it̸…



ask--laughingjack asked: >-< I need halp, I've got no followers and I'm bored outta my mind, what do I doooo
*Taking out a few bottles of booze out of his coat in each hand, he raised them up triumphantly and said*
G̞̩̟̬͔̱̠͟ȩ͍͈̱̹̣t̟̩̲̪̭ ̙̲̠̺f̬̻͉̰̱̳̟͟uc̖͔̠̫k̬͞ͅì͓̬͉̝͈̰ń̼̖͉̩g̤ ͉w̮͓̜̪͈͖ͅá̘͓͈̪̞̪s͎͇̺̬̜̩͝t̪̩e̼ḏ̙̱̕!͙̤̤͖͎͘!̳͈̼̯̠̱̻!! ͙W͈͉͜o̤̳o͔̗̪̦̞̲o͖̯̞̻͠o͖̯̺̙̬̘͝ͅo̢̙̘͎͇̻͉̙o͈͇͠oo̻̼.̵̰̺̯͔̫̟.̻̳̯.̴̮͎͚̼͇̜.͙̗͚̝̣͕̻.͍̞̪̣̣̩.̘̮͈̭͖.͔̟͞  



the-rubester asked: *laughs* Oh, dear. Hmmmm... *pokes Smexy*
*laying on the floor halfway conscious, he makes a drunken annoyed sound kinda like*
N̨̧ȩ̨e̸eh̷h̴͢͏h̶́h̡͠h̢̡͢hh̴́.͞.̧͞.̛́
*and gently swats at your hand*


flatmattress asked: I bet Smexy would be absolutely great at ballet
Fu͟c̢k y̨e͘a̛h!͟ I’m̛ gr̷acèf҉ul a͟s F͞u҉C͠K͢!!!!


Anonymous asked: *looks at you sleeping on the floor* oh dear I wish you wouldn't drink and pass out on the floor...what would the children say?~
How about “Quit bothering our dad when he’s trying to sleep”?



Anonymous asked: I perfer to anonymously (I do have a Tumbleh account XD) ask this question (more like statement)... I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU IF I HAVE TO!! MAYBE I'L ASK KATE TO HELP ME!!!! BUT NO I WANT TO PERSONALITY KILL YOU!!! HA! WHATCHA GONNA DO SMEXY!!!???
Well, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do~
I’m gonna sit here, with my three bowls of popcorn, and watch porn for a few hours…..
And then maybe take a nap.



Anonymous asked: hey, today I came to the damning conclusion that I am nought but an immortal soul in a body whose mortality is fundamentally uncertain. got any advice to cheer a girl up, seeing as you're practically immortal yourself.
Go get wasted and watch a movie or something.




bloodywolfchick asked: What happens if I accept the rose? Wut if I don't? All I can say is I am Not accepting a rose from the likes of you!
Came all this way just to tell me that huh?
*he says sarcastically*



the-rubester asked: Yeah. I am the admin in question who went (Cro)batshit insane earlier. I just signed up to Tumblr because I asked and talked a lotta stuff here. And I apologize for that, BTW. Right now I am disgusted that idiocy wins over common sense.

Happens all the time.
Best to do like Frozen says and let it go.




dream-anon asked: I also believe the police extends to multiple universes and dimensions with lots of equipment to help protect themselves. They work along side the donut police, the Bigfoot police, the anon police, and many other branches. I've even met the blog police for messing up the look of some people's blogs.
It would also make sense to believe that they must be pretty shitty at their jobs, considering guys like
me are still walking around breaking laws all over the place.



Anonymous asked: *she looks at him curiously* Wow...you are a very interesting character. You kinda seem like a mix between Dedan from OFF, Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, Hannibal Lecter, and Pyramid Head Man (y'know the supposed rapist Silent Hill monster) but a slender though. (Very creative character Arc it usually hard to find cool and original slender characters )
Arc: thank you :3
Why do people keep comparing me to that singing man eating plant?



vexingmoon asked: can I call you Bes after the Egyptian god of music, dance, and sexual pleasure? or would you prefer the Guarani's Kurupi, god of sexuality and fertility? Maybe the Vodou's Baron La Croix, loa of the dead and sexuality?
You could call me fucking Venus if you felt like it babe. I don’t mind.




ask-crying-violet asked: what would you do if I told you that I won't fall for you?
Who said we ever needed romance to have sex~?
Or consent for that matter…




Anonymous asked: If you dislike Offender and dislike him taking your stagelight, from your other work, why didn't you go anonymous with creating him? Like created him, but didn't take credit for him? Or why don't you give him to someone else? Like, pass him on officially and tell people. you no longer have anything to do with him?
Arc: well first off technically I’m still anonymous, I mean i haven’t been giving out my real name to anyone.
but as far as letting people know who my internet personality is? and becoming able to track me down about the character and find me responsible for him. well at first, it really was very simple. i wasn’t a part of any websites that could let me get away with creating the character so anonymously. I mean he wasn’t made with a creepypasta story i could just leave on some forum and forget about, he was made with a character description i posted to my deviantart account, which was my major place for displaying my work and socializing with friends and fans. to abandon the site would mean to abandon years of artwork not involved with the character.
so yeah, basically, thanks to this being my first big break as an artist, and the first creepypasta i had ever created, and i had no idea how to handle the popularity it or get rid of it.
and moreover, at first my intention was to get him seen, so someone could take him off my hands, and you know what?
turned out that the only ones who were even willing to consider claiming the character as their own were hard core armatures who weren’t even serious about using and creating content about the character, and even to this day, i still haven’t gotten a serious offer to take over the character for me. instead i just get more and more people referencing me at the creator, singing my praises to everyone who didn’t know i was responsible.
pretty much the only option i have available is to outright refuse the creation of all further content or interaction with those involved with the sexual offenderman fanbase, and to be honest, i still have a few more pieces of artwork i want to create first.





Anonymous asked: how do you like your ladies
Preferably female. But if not that’s fine too. I don’t mind them being a lady in spirit.



askfenderman asked: my new nick name for you is "The Virgin-reaper" hope you like it
Only virgins? Pfft, lame.




askfenderman said: well smexy a recent underworld studies shows you are the number one cause a virgins losing their virginity, males and females alike i mean if you like “the ass reaper” better than fine
Dude, I’ll sometimes get it on with decrepit old men and beluga whales. Just calling me a virgin-raper really doesn’t cover it.




Anonymous asked: How do you even find any girl that you like or love smexy
I look for them.



Anonymous asked: I would love your pants.... Off
Well then, good thing I’m not wearing any~



Anonymous asked: Smexy do you ever spent time's with your brothers
Sure, but they generally try not to spend time with me.



Anonymous asked: Do you like young girls or older ones?
They all got their perks~



dream-anon asked: *Pokes* Have you been stalking me just recently? I'm having this weird feeling every time I go to sleep. It's like someone is watching me.
Plenty of other beings out there who could be interested in watching you besides me Dreamy.




Anonymous asked: its dumb but imam ask anyway, what do you do for a living?
For a living?
Well, guess you could consider me a career criminal.




Anonymous asked: Did anyone ever escape you before? :3
Sure, but they almost always had some supernatural firepower to back them up.



Anonymous asked: *cuts smexy's balls off* MUHAHAHHAHAHAHA whatchu gonna do now? You wanna juggle? Well... You don't have the 'balls' to do it

That’s alright, I̤̮̭͕̩͙̦’̧̜̦ĺ̼̜̥l͕̬̮ ̯̩̳̠͝j͇̝us̳̖͔͍t̘̯́ ̞̲̗̹̯͟b̴o͞r҉̯̗̱̟r̩̙͚o̬͖͎̱w̞̯̳͖͚̙͕͞ ̶̬̯ś̻o͜ͅm̳̞̦͇e ͇̺̘̟̯͓̦o͈f̻̪͖̣̟̮͜ ̵̤̣̹y̘̖o̶̭̳ṵ̳͓̜͍r̜̖͍ś̟̙̪͎̣͔͇.̛̮͙̼͇̼ͅ
*he then proceeded to rip out anything circular from your body, starting with your eyeballs.*



Anonymous asked: hey,where are you right now?
Somewhere in the USA. I’m usually hanging around in the states when I’m blogging.




therandomshiticomeupwith asked: Im honestly curious.What type of girls are you into SOF?
Damn near all of them.



Anonymous asked: Hey Smexy if Slendy lent you Masky for a day what would happen?

24 hours of sex with Masky.
Arc: which is probably like 90% of the reason why nobody ever lends you their proxies. but for arguments sake, if sex with him was out of the question, what would you do then?
Get super high with Masky.
Arc: also a pretty good reason why you really shouldn’t be trusted with… well pretty much anybody. so if not that?
Eh, probably send him in way over his head to get him killed, or at least wounded pretty bad.
Arc: and if not that?
Force him to have sex with someone else while I watch?
Arc: I’m pretty sure we already covered that one..
Not explicitly, you just said “sex with him”. Never said anything about making him have sex with anyone else :3
Arc: let’s just assume that you’re not allowed to do anything sexual with Masky while he’s under your authority.
Guess that would include mind-fucking huh?
Arc: yeah. so how many times you think i have to ask these questions before we get to something that wouldn’t get the slenderman royally pissed at you.
Aww he’d be pissed no matter what I did.
Arc: how about that wouldn’t piss me off?
You’d be pissed no matter what I did.
Arc: smexyyy… >
Fine fine, I was only about five questions away from just taking him out for ice cream anyway.




choco-casualties: tbh the only time i can ever remotely tolerate sexual offenderman is when he’s not being treated as some kind of lovable scamp for sexually assaulting girls and actually characterized and treated as the fucking monster he actually is for doing so, But treating him as a complete scumbag at the very least is  rare in this fandom
Arc: this ^


I mean, I know it’s hard to be grimdark with this character 24/7, especially during rp situations, where things like killing other peoples characters or subjecting rp partners to explicit horror scenarios is risky business at best,
but we could defiantly use more artwork/fics/content in general depicting him in a more negative light.




Anonymous asked: Dear smexy, if u had to choose between male or female forever what would u pick? YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE!
*he just looks at you with the same sort of shock that someone would show if they had honestly been asked which of their children they would kill if they had to kill all but one*


monkitteh asked: Arc can you please get Smexy away from me. He keeps trying to eat my candy >
You can always get more candy later.
Speaking of which I’ll be needing that new candy you bought to replace what I took as well.



Anonymous asked: The red mist is coming.
I know it’s probably some sort of horrific evil force or something, But it sounds tasty and I kinda wanna try eating it.



Anonymous asked: What do you get out of rape other than pleasure and fear from your victims?
Do I really need another reason?



Anonymous asked: Do you take requests to rape people?? My enemy is so rude and I just think he needs to get laid. Can you do that for me since you are like, epic at not getting arrested and cur?
Not on here I don’t. You find me in person, maybe we can talk.



Anonymous asked: How the hell do you lose a proxy
They die.



Anonymous asked: You should make Arc draw you nude, hehe. O///O
I keep trying, hell, I lay around the apartment in my birthday suit plenty enough, but she’s been really fucking stubborn about that, so I’ve always had to drape my coat across my lap or something or else she won’t draw me below the waist.



Anonymous asked: Hey, Smexy. I am RPing as you with a friend of mine. And there is a rather interesting question I need to ask you. [and I am still studying you for RP purposes] Can you mind control victims at random times? I know that you can read minds, but not sure about controlling them.
I can make them so out of it or horny that they'll do pretty much whatever i'll say, but that's really closer to “charming” than outright mind control.
Plus it’s basically cheating in my book, so I don’t do it as often as people think.



Anonymous asked: This question is for Smexy: Why roses?
Hey, I didn’t pick the things, they picked me.



shedding-this-skin asked: Okay. Since you can apparently fuck for hours on end, wouldn't that mean that you have some sort of special reproductive organs? Since the average male can't go that long? And, wouldn't that make females preferable since they could more easily continue to orgasm for that period of time?
Finally! Somebody get’s it!
I always get people asking which sex I prefer, and they’re always assuming it’s women because of boobs or some shit.
Nah man, multiple orgasms is where it’s at.




Anonymous asked: Why do you go after Woman and can you help me with this rose flower problem my roses keep during in there pots have you been poisoning them again?
Poisoning them! I’m insulted you would even think I’d be responsible for such a thing!
It’s obviously your own damn fault you’re killing all your houseplants.




Anonymous asked: Say smexy are you and arc dating if not why doesn't she act like she loves you? Are you into guys as well or just women?
Arc: Dating? you’re kidding right? >
I keep trying to convince her to think otherwise, but she just wont come around. It’s so adorable :3
Arc: anon, he is a stalker, not a partner. he is here, because i can’t get rid of him, because he is a threat that can be practically wherever he wants to be, whenever he feels like it, and could kill me way too easily on top of that. I might not be in a cage, but i might as well be his prisoner.




inknewt asked: Can I eat my waffles in peace? It's kinda hard to do so when you're inches away from my face….
Give me a few of those waffles and I might be willing to negotiate the size of your personal space that I’m willing to respect~




dream-anon asked: I think the reason you don't dream is because there's a secret alien cult spread across the universe making sure people, animals, and supernatural creatures have nightmares or don't dream at all.
But I do dream?
I mean sure I might piggyback off of other peoples dreams every once in a while, but I can still do it on my own.
Now I’m not trying to discredit your alien cult theory, but get your facts straight first before you start shelling out theories sleepyhead.



Anonymous asked: Would you make me a proxie if you could? ;3
To be honest I don’t even think that making Arc a proxy was exactly one of my “brighter moments”.




myrelisfrancoeur asked: I'm a virgin.... Come and find me ;3
Who says I haven’t already~?



Anonymous asked: If you had to date a girl, NOT a Creepy Pasta, what kind would you date?
You doin anything this afternoon?~




Anonymous asked: Which Creepypasta would you rape?
Every one I could.




Anonymous asked: What is the deal with you and those damn roses? It's like you have some unnecessary specific guideline. Were you cursed to follow some kind of rose rule?
How about you do me a favor and just shut up now?



sketchlove15 asked: Are you the only one in the family who can purr?
Not exactly sure to be honest. My brothers really aren’t big on making much noise, preferring to just speak telepathically, but heck, It’s not only speaking, they even move quietly. Half the time Slendy even teleports everywhere so he’s not even making any noise walking. Least Splendy kept up the habit of breathing, or at least mimicking it (mostly so he doesn’t creep people out as much) so at least he’s not totally silent when he’s just standing around like the other two.



echhiking1 asked: Would you rape a turtle or a hotdog?
Yes.



Anonymous asked: when will you answer
Eh, when I feel like it.


Anonymous asked: what do you like to watch on TV
Porn mostly, but besides that? Musicals, comedys, romantic comedies, cartoons, romance movies, and things that involve fighting giant monsters.
Really I think I’m more into movies and theater than regular tv, Which works out great for me since I can get into any theater I want for free. I even offered to take Arc to go see the new Lego movie, but she said no.
Arc: hey, last time you took me to “go see a movie” you left me stranded in New York for a day and a half. you literally left me there until you got bored with me hiding out instead of exploring the sleazy neighborhood you left me in.
Heyyyy, it’s not my fault you’re a terrible excuse for a proxy~
Arc: I’m not going to try and stab muggers to death just because you told me to!
HEY! You’re the one who’s always itching to commit manslaughter. Most people would leap at the opportunity to justify murdering some smuck, there I was practically handing it to you on a silver platter, and still you decided to go and completely blow it.
Arc: well, then, guess you could say it IS your fault I’m a “terrible proxy” because if it had been just about anyone but you, i probably would have given it a shot.